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“Chicago Fire” recap (1.21): “Keep the fighting clean and the sex dirty”

Previously on Chicago Fire Casey was engaged to a doctor who was unfamiliar with the concept of HIPAA or the amount of hours residents actual work.  But his biological clock was ticking like this and she was all, I allegedly work 80 hours a week and there’s no time in that schedule for a baby (there is time for delivering lunch to the fire house, quickies in the office, and a nice jog).  So due to that, and the stress of a dirty cop putting a hit out on Casey, they broke up but last we saw she had returned from South America or some other place residencies typically send their worker bees.  

Severide continued his reign as the town bicycle (everyone gets a ride) until he may or may not have sexually assaulted a paramedic in training (although we’re pretty sure he’ll come out smelling like roses because you know, bitches make stuff up). Mills learned the truth about cats and dogs and how his father died. To make up for his dad maybe being a cuckolded coward he’s going for gold and is going to make squad because that will make it all better. Meanwhile his girlfriend, the gorgeous and swoonworthy, Gabriela Dawson opened a bar, picked out china patterns…er… I mean a door with Casey, and told Shay she should do the nasty with Severide (pesky lesbianism, always getting in the way of a good straight lay).  

Clarice, hello Clarice, skipped town with her baby and left Shay with a shit ton of baby clothes, a crib, and more feelings than all the lesbians in the world when Bomb Girls got cancelled (don’t leave me, Betty). Instead of getting her rebound on with booze and hot ladies she decided that she should have a baby. Since sperm is really expensive, unlike kids who are totes free if you buy what the right wing is selling, she asked Severide to spread a few of his seeds her way. They did a Ross and Rachel will-they-won’t-they thing for a while and when we last left these morons they were on the baby making path.  

We begin with Severide and Mouch playing dress up at a hearing where Severide gets to hear the charges against him. Tara is alleging that he tried to kiss her and when she tried to leave he pushed her against a wall and groped her butt. Severide can’t believe what he’s hearing and tells the panel that what really happened was that he faked a yawn and told her she should get going because the smell of batshit crazy was killing his buzz.

Meanwhile, it appears Voight has been chained to that table in Shawshank where he chatted with Dawson for the last month or so and they are finally letting him out. The unsuspecting targets of his last hit are having breakfast at a diner, a diner on the corner, they ordered two coffees, one was for you. Hallie wants to know how Dawson is and Casey pretends like he wasn’t mooning over Dawson the whole time he was engaged to Hallie. He says Dawson is great, and dating young Peter Mills. Hallie says there’s no one special in her life because when you are busy not working much at the hospital and touring the southern hemisphere it’s hard to hold a beau. They talk about Curtis, the dead informant, and whether Voight was the one who had him killed. Voight has a hearing to dismiss his case and Casey says he knows he can’t get sucked back into it. Right, because saying it will definitely make it happen.

Oh look there’s Voight outside in the bright sunlight getting picked up by a black dude wearing a black leather jacket and a black hoodie, so you know, that’s clearly supposed to be his lawyer.

We’re hanging out in the common room of the firefighter dorm. Mills is doing his best Gunther Centralperk impression and is delivering a latte to Dawson complete with a fern drawn in the foam. Herrmann and Otis are bickering about the bar again like Jane and Maura. The Chief announces that they will all be undergoing sexual harassment sensitivity training and while Cruz does his best Hermione impression, Severide walks in the back door and start stripping. Herrmann, ever the prudent business man, announces that CFD will get happy hour prices all night when Molly’s opens. Otis rolls his eyes so hard at Herrmann’s outburst the only thing separating him from Jane Rizzoli is the missing ponytail of righteous justice.

Mills scampers off to find Severide and offers to do anything he wants to help him through this difficult time, like having some beers at a bar and maybe picking up a girl or two because that’s worked well up to this point. He even offers to “put on the gloves” and work out some of their intense homoerotic tension. More on that later. Hadley, the bitchiest member of Squad, gets jealous and tells Mills that if he wants to help he can shine Severide’s boots. Don’t fret, this isn’t the only bit of charming racism from Hadley this episode.

The teams are called out to the scene of an accident where the driver was shot and then drove through the window of  store. The driver is the guy who shot Curtis. Oh but it’s not that simple because of course the guy has slumped forward, foot on the gas so the wheels are still spinning, and there’s a lady trapped under the car. After everyone is out of the car Severide decides to test the theory that stupid is as stupid does and busts out his phone to get in touch with Tara. Mouch tells him he’s a dumbass and that maybe contacting the woman who alleges that you assaulted her is not the best idea.

Shawson bring the gunshot victim into the ER and then linger and chat over the nurses station as is their wont. Some like to take their dates to dinner or maybe a coffee, these ladies enjoy the ambiance of a busy urban ER. They talk about Tara and Dawson asks if there’s any way that Severide did something against her will. Shay shoots that theory down but says he won’t talk about it and she’s just trying to steer clear. They try to reassure themselves that everything will work out but when a guy like Voight is free to roam around and put hits out on anyone he pleases it doesn’t exactly fill them with a warm sense of safety. Dawson looks around like she trying to avoid a teacher whose class she skipped and Shay, who knows everything going on with her girlfriend, says that Hallie’s not there. Dawson twitches and is like “no, dude, I totally wasn’t looking for Hallie, oh look a creepy, dirty cop is calling me on the phone.”

Back at the firehouse we have the worst excuse for sexual harassment training ever. It quickly goes from how to give a compliment without being creepy into a story about Herrmann’s buddy walking around with his junk hanging out of his pants (no joke, I didn’t make that up). There’s a lot of discussion about the good old days before women came in and messed everything up and made them take down their Hustler centerfolds. The trainer is more on the side of “yeah that sounds like fun, wish I could have been part of it” than “hey one of you was accused of sexual assault with a subordinate how about you all shut the hell up.”

Antonio is chatting with the Chief and Casey about Voight. He’s hoping that Voight will take a little hush money and fly off to his house in Myrtle Beach and play golf for the rest of his life. Oh Antonio, if you think that’s going to happen I have a unicorn and bridge in Brooklyn to sell you. The Chief implores Casey not to get drawn back into anything with Voight. Shawson is leaving the hospital and will you look at that, Voight is the one calling Dawson’s phone and he wants to collect that favor she owes him.

Back in the land of not getting sucked into anything, Casey and Dawson chat about favors (but not the fun, sexy kind) and Voight. Dawson is keeping Casey in the loop because, she loves him and secretly she wishes she weren’t dating Mills because he’s so hung up on Severide it gets awkward in the boudoir because he’s always talking about Severide and hoses and it gives a girl a complex. Casey says “we’re cool” and gives her his blessing to do whatever she was damn well going to do anyway. The next time Dawson asked for anyone’s blessing before doing something will be the first time. It’s nice of him to offer to call Voight for her and that he tells her she’s too important to him to give her the silent treatment. In the middle of this nice we’re not a couple but we act awkward around each other moments the trainer comes bombing out into the hallway looking for some volunteers.

Dawson and Casey role play (again, not in the fun sexy way) and get heckled by the rest of the house. Shay is particularly vocal (but not in a sexy way) about all it takes is an allegation for a case to get started. You know what, it’s true that an allegation is all it takes, but that’s all it should take. The number of false complaints of sexual assault that get filed is miniscule and each allegation should be taken seriously. Shay is predisposed to believe Severide, as is everyone else in the house, but I still feel frustrated with this storyline.  I mean we all know Casey shouldn’t be telling Dawson she’s stacked, especially in the back, wanna thank your mother for a butt like that. Can I get some fries with that shake shake booty? All of that may be true but that’s off limits, dude. You know only Shay gets to talk about Dawson that way.

Severide is also annoyed with the storyline because he hops up in the middle of Casey talking about Dawson’s juicy melons to take an unadvisable trip to witness tampering lane. While he steps out Hadley and other squad guy prank Mills into thinking the window of his car has been smashed. It’s all in good fun right?

Severide and Tara meet and he tries to get her to be reasonable. She says that she’s being encouraged to file a police report. He seems genuinely baffled by the whole thing and wants to know if he said something to offend her. She seems equally rattled and tells him that maybe it would go away if he would apologize on the record. He looks at her and says “you’re crazy.”  Um, protip, Severide, when dealing with someone who might actually be crazy or just out to get you, calling them crazy is not the best plan. She stalks off muttering about how meeting with him was a bad idea and considering going all Evil Willow on his ass.

The Dawson twins are chatting about Voight and Antonio feels bad that her sister owes a favor to a truly bad dude because he got himself shot. He tells Gaby he’ll take care of it, which is most likely the prelude to him getting shot again but I’m ok with that as long as nothing happens to Dawson and her beautiful tight embrace. The best moment is when Gaby tells her brother not to do anything crazy. You think Evel Kneivel had the same chats with his siblings?

Everyone is called out to a chemical spill with a diesel fire kicker. The driver of the tanker is trapped inside so Severide suits up, less Barney Stinson more Outbreak, and has to find a way to get to the driver. Hadley doesn’t know the technique so Mills does it instead. Hadley, and everyone not named Mills, is incredibly jealous because they want to be Severide’s favorite, and Kelly didn’t even notice that Hadley did his hair just the way Kelly likes it. To add insult to Hadley’s bruised ego the Chief pats Mills on the back as he leaves the accident site.

Back in homeroom Mills is having some food when he notices that Pouch is taking a particular interest. Because the spoonful he just put in his mouth tasted horrible, Chef Mills deduces that Hadley put dog food in his meal. Hadley just giggles and goes for extra credit on his how to be a racist asshole final exam by telling Mills to “relax, mutt” and all hell breaks loose. The trainer who was there for the sexual harassment class doesn’t report the incident but wants to know how the Chief will deal with Hadley. The Chief deals with him by shipping him out to another house.

Antonio is meeting with Voight. They stand on the sidewalk and sniff each other. Voight stares with his serpentine face and calculates just what he can extract from Antonio, who now works at the intelligence unit. Voight has the bearing of someone who has trained to be a boxer. He walks with confidence, his movements are compact, close to the body, as if he is coiled and ready to spring at any moment. His eyes take in every quiver from his opponent and figure out how to counter any attack. He looks like he likes to work the body, not stand back and jab at arms length.  

They stare some more, growl a bit and then we cut to Severide sitting outside his hearing. Tara and her lady attorney walk out and Mouch yells at Severide for contacting Tara because now the panel is looking into all the names in his little black book and the notches on his headboard. Seems like intern Niki is coming back to haunt him. Remember Niki, she had it bad for Severide and she enjoyed spending time with him in the equipment room? She told him he could leave his hat on? Yeah, that’s the one. Severide can’t believe it. Dude, next time take a walk or a cold shower or something.

Casey and Hallie are hanging out and drinking wine at her new place (which completely looks like something you can afford on a resident’s salary). They exchange boxes of crap, including his hockey memorabilia. She found an agreement they made once when they got in a fight. Casey, ever the sentimentalist recalls it saying “keep the fighting clean and the sex dirty.” Before you can say “fighting strap,” they are pulling their jerseys off and working on keeping the sex dirty.

Severide is digging in the pockets of his dress uniform for change when what to my wondering eyes should appear but a dirty cop and smug smile ear to ear. Voight tells Severide that the squeakiest wheel always wins and then chitchats about Benny Severide being Kelly’s dad giving the impression that Voight knows all there is to know about Benny. He tells Severide they’ll be seeing each other around because he just got reinstated. I mean really, who can stay mad at this guy for trying to hire a hit man?

Dawson, Casey, Severide, and Mills (aka the braintrust) are hanging out in the hallway chatting about Voight when intern Niki’s dad, who is also a fire chief, walks in. The dad gives a smirk to Severide before joining the Chief in his office. He’s there to give the Chief a heads up about what he is going to tell the hearing committee about how Severide ruined his daughter’s life. After their affair she broke off her engagement and fled to Europe. Jeez Kelly, ladies leave you for the continent, eh? The Chief vouches for Kelly and asks this guy not to be harsh the the hearing panel. The dad won’t back down so the Chief ends their friendship. People sure are ready to go to the wall for Severide. Thank goodness in the real world there has never been a case of a community rallying around an alleged rapist to the detriment of the victim.

Shawson gets called to a house where a little boy comes running out talking about how his dad is hurt. Upon entering the premises they are faced with a giant snake. This thing probably inhabits the Chamber of Secrets. Shawson runs for the door, as I would when faced with so much as a garter snake. Dawson freaks out and it’s hilarious. She wants to call animal control until Shay says, “look, that guy in there might not have too much time and since Fawkes isn’t here, I don’t have the Sorting Hat on me, and I left my rooster in my other uniform, I think we better go back in.  Besides, I’m a Gryffindor so I live to fight Slytherins of all shapes and sizes.” Dawson is mildly heartened until they get in there and Shay goes all Gilderoy Lockhart and actually hides behind the little kid. Dawson, looking legitimately terrified gets the snake into the bathroom and closes the door so they can tend to the dad.

Severide walks into a meeting with Mouch and the Chief where they tell him that Tara has been promoted and will not be pursuing her internal charges. But, based on Niki’s dad’s testimony, the committee found enough evidence to kick everything up to the state’s attorney to investigate whether there should be criminal charges or not. Time to get a lawyer Kelly. I think Alicia Florick would be a good choice especially if we can gets her majesty of boots and badassery, Kalinda Sharma, to join. Oh Kalinda and Shay, now that’s a pretty pair. I’ll just be over her pondering the possibilities.

Kelly is distraught in the bathroom. He says “I walked her to the door,” and Shay tells him it will be okay because they will fight it. Dude, walking her to the door, if you actually sexually assaulted her doesn’t absolve you, just fyi. Severide tells Shay he doesn’t trust anyone in the world except for her. Herrmann and Cruz walk in to offer support and to let him know if he wants to get drunk he should come by Molly’s. Severide declines and looks a bit broken.

Herrmann, Otis, and Dawson are at Molly’s getting ready for the opening. Dawson makes a speech about how much she loves the guys and tells them that they are her brothers. Guys, her brother did a favor for a dirty cop after getting a belly full of lead, so you might want to decline her offers to be family. Meanwhile, Mills and Severide are engaged in a homoerotic boxing match. No really, they are wearing tanktops, in a lit boxing ring, slugging it out, until Severide is just too spent and rests bent over the ropes gasping for air. I’m not making this up. Man the guys in Squad are going to be so jealous of Mills now.

At the bar opening Shay says she’s going to kick Tara’s ass if she comes across her, Dawson says she thinks Casey and Hallie look good together, and Voight walks into the room and all we hear is a record scratch and some old guy go “did he say finger painting?”  Voight buys the next round by peeling a couple bills off a huge wad of cash.  He tries to say something about all working together and how they should sing kumbaya and forget about that time when he tried to have Casey murdered.  Antonio tells Dawson that Voight got promoted and will now be running the intelligence unit and will be Antonio’s boss.  Voight slithers over to Hallie and Casey and says he wants to apologize for that time he tried to have Casey killed.  Herrmann reaches over the bar and holds a liquor bottle in his hand, you know, just in case.  Casey refuses to take Voight’s hand and instead takes a slug of his beer and walks off.

Here are a few of our favorite #ShaycagoFire tweets from last night’s episode

Thanks for tweeting along, I’ll see you guys back next week. In the meantime, let’s chat about your favorite parts of the episode.

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