“Chicago Fire ” recap (1.19): “You will be mounted.”


So, got your drinks? Good. Where to start? Shay is a lesbian, which for those unable to follow along, means that her primary emotional and physical attractions are toward women. Generally speaking, lesbians do not sleep with men. We don’t do it for fun, we don’t do it for sport, and we don’t do it because it’s a cheap way to score some sperm. Sure, Shay’s discomfort with the idea of having sex with Severide is clear from the scene. But this scene is horrible and did I mention offensive?

The show is playing for laughs (because Lauren German is damn funny) the idea that this lesbian would sleep with Severide. I know they might say that it’s funny because it’s so absurd. But let’s look at this scene with Severide and Casey substituted. Severide is straight and he wants to have a baby, he wants it so badly. The only way he’s going to get it is if he gets to mount Casey. So he tells him, “Matty, you get all ready for me and when the time is right I’ll come on over and mount you.” Hands up anyone who thinks this would ever happen? No, because this show, despite it’s hilarious bromantic moments, respects the fact that Severide and Casey are straight men who do not sleep with other men. Also, in the words of Cooper from Imagine Me & You, “anyone can switch teams” except, of course for him, because only lesbians do that sort of thing.

From the start Shay has been, and continues to be, a lesbian. She is not attracted to men, she doesn’t want to sleep with men. She is so uncomfortable with the idea of having sex with Severide that she doesn’t ever want to speak of it again and plans to be alone to cry afterward. Yes, sexuality is fluid but in a world where being a lesbian is something people think we do to get attention, for the male gaze, or until we can find a guy this scene is offensive. This week the Supreme Court heard not one, but two cases about the right of gays and lesbians to marry the person of their choosing. For everyone who argues that gays and lesbians can already get married, to the opposite sex person of their choice this storyline fits right into that argument. Shay really wants to have a baby right and she’s a lesbian, but when push comes to shove and she can’t come up with the money she’s willing to give up her lesbianism, and go against her very nature, for the low, low cost of ten thousand dollars. That’s it, easy peasey. I’d like to see a story line when Severide and Casey give up being straight for ten grand, but that will never happen because straight men don’t switch teams, that’s a lesbian thing, right?

When my wife and I decided to have children, we talked about a thousand things, never once did it cross our minds that we should, either of us, have sex with a man in order to make it happen. This is not what lesbians do and to suggest otherwise is offensive. Back to the episode.

A new paramedic candidate shows up. She says she’s heard of Dawson, and who can be surprised since Dawson has broken every rule in the book several times this season. Infamous, that’s our girl. She seems nice and possibly gay. Either that, or the paramedic tees make everyone look gay.

The oven is broken so Mills is planning to order take-out for everyone. He pulls the knobs off the stove because that’s where he keeps the cooking club money and it gives Casey an idea. Casey insists on taking the money to go get the food. Instead he approaches the kids selling drugs on the street and asks them to take him to whoever is in charge. They balk until he assures them he’s not armed and not a cop. They take him back to a darkened apartment. Casey tells them that the fire department flushes the hydrants twice a year and that if they keep hiding their drugs in there that they will be flushed too. His parting words are that the neighborhood belongs to everyone and the drug dealers don’t own it. I think King Friday and Daniel Striped Tiger had a similar conversation on Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood once. Sharing means caring, boys.

Shay is all full of happy news. Her dad wants grandkids and promised to pay for the insemination so hooray she doesn’t have to mount Severide which is great news for fans of reality but not good news for poor Kelly who thought he was going to get a shot with Shay.

“Dude, go write in your feelings journal, it’ll be OK.”

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