Dawson is adorably happy to see Mills but he’s all pouty and not in the mood to talk to his tiny fairy godmother after his step-monster was just so mean. She offers to “take care of someone” if they messed with Mills and he scowls as he walks away. Guys, pro tip, if a beautiful woman offers to “take care of someone” the appropriate response is “Yes. Please, take care of me.” Boys, I can’t do everything for you. Although Mills if you need someone to stand in for you with Dawson — nevermind.
“I’m carrying this giant saw because I’m manly, not because I’m compensating.”
Severide is busy fixing a giant saw when Casey starts barking at him about how he and Heather Darden are nothing more than friends. Severide doesn’t believe and stomps around (does he have special shoes for this? I worry about his orthopedic health) telling Casey to go sell his stupid story to someone else. Shawson is sitting together per usual and they watch the whole show as the boys walk by. Casey asks Severide if he can’t fathom that maybe he’s wrong about this. Severide can imagine lots of things (like unicorns and rainbows and having sex with his lesbian best friend) but is pissed that Casey didn’t ditch his beard for their anniversary like they discussed. Severide take it a step further when he wants to know why Heather will bone Casey when she’ll barely talk to him even though it was Casey who got Darden all blown up?
Before they can continue the finals of their MENSA debate tournament, glass shatters everywhere as shots are fired at the firehouse. Everyone is fine which is a miracle considering Shay has been held at gunpoint twice, been hit by a truck, and been stuck by a needle in the span of the last three days. If a bullet was going to hit anything it was going to be the tiny lesbian. Don’t worry they have other plans for Shay. Start drinking now.
A cop shows up at the firehouse asking about and incidents that might lead to a shooting. The Chief can’t fathom why anyone would want to shoot any of these guys (I hope you guys are drinking, I mean it, you’ll thank me later). The cops are going to post an officer and a car at the house which totally screws with the vibe of the house being a neighborhood place. Hey guys know what else is a viber killer? Being shot with bullets. Herrmann’s all cranky about it because it’s been weeks since one of his stupid schemes has blown up in his face and he’s not sure how to deal with it.
Casey thinks he sees something useful as he is leaving after shift because in addition to being Captain America, he’s also quite the detective in his spare time (he reads Nancy Drew and he’s getting pretty good at figuring it out who did it). Despite driving slowly down the street and staring at the people sitting in an Escalade we can’t be sure if Casey has figured out the mystery or if he’s just trying to sound out Escalade.