Outside Molly’s the beer is flowing, Cruz is trying to impress Otis’ cousin with a mix CD, and Otis is ready for the cinnamon challenge. Mouch bows out right before Cruz discovers that Otis bought cumin by accident. Holy shitshow Batman. Dawson introduces Mouch to her friend Isabella. Mills enjoys the view of Isabella’s face but not so much the view of Dawson looking very happy with Smarmy Jay. The cops arrive to tell Herrmann that they can’t serve unlimited drinks for a set price. Methinks the cops were sent by Omega to break up this Delta party.
Benny is helping Severide and Shay move into their new place. When they hint that he should leave and go back to his wife and kids he says that Kelly needs him since his life has gone to shit. Kelly calls him on his bullshit and it turns out Benny and his wife are taking a break. Oh lord, looks like we have a winner for the third bedroom.
Herrmann and Dawson are cleaning up the bar, which made a grand total of sixty-two bucks off of its big promotion. Dawson tells Smarmy Jay that they owe Arthur a piece of the profit too. Herrmann leaves and Dawson locks the door. Smarmy offers to help her wash the glasses and she slides over to him and says they could just let them soak a while. Dawson, you are an incredibly sexy and attractive woman and on behalf of gay ladies I would like to say, “Really? This guy?” Perhaps Shay can lend you her cone of shame for your stupid ass decision.
The next day, Dawson is little out of it from her sexcapades the night before. Isabella is showing Mouch how to tweet and he’s giddy at his first retweet. He scampers off to find Herrmann leaving Isabella to seek Dawson’s blessing to go after Mills. Dawson nearly laughs in her face and stumbles over 47 ways to say “take him, girl, I don’t want ‘em.”
Boden comes in to say that from now on, anyone who needs to leave the house will need the hall pass, advanced, written permission, and a note from a doctor, priest or rabbi. Looks like the narc has struck again. Boden isn’t done. He lights Otis up for being a stupid git who thought a cinnamon challenge was a good idea. Otis pees his pants and promises to try not to be monumentally stupid ever again. Herrmann gets himself exercised over the fact that there’s a snitch in the house (he’s pissed that as the Hufflepuff seeker he can’t find the damn thing) and storms out into the garage. He yells at Clark and it looks like they might come to blows until Clark stands up and Herrmann realizes that he’s a hobbit next to this guy.
This display of testosterone is interrupted by Hadley who is at the house to say “hi,” buy a T-shirt, and establish an alibi for when the alarm goes off calling everyone to the fire he started. He stands there, looking a lot like Keith from Some Kind of Wonderful, who was played by Eric Stolz who also starred in Mask with Cher (the answer to Clark’s crossword puzzle question). The fire appears to be in an abandoned building so they aren’t going in until a guy flies through a window. His girlfriend is inside so in they go to rescue her. They find her and narrowly escape the inferno. Hadley is lurking at the scene and Severide nearly takes his head off.
Casey is taking the Darden boys to see their mom at Litchfield. He explains that it sucks to see your mom in prison, shows them his visitor’s punch card, and tells them they need to be brave to help their mom.
Severide is telling Shay all about how he got yelled at by the arson investigator and his dad for going after Hadley. She’s listening because they’re bros, but offers a better solution to all his whining, going out and getting drunk. At Molly’s, Otis is showing Herrmann the glorious sight of their competitor, Game Day, being shut down by the fire marshal. Delta House strikes back! Cruz tries to woo Otis’ cousin with a mix CD. She pats him on the head, takes the CD, and pops into Severide’s car. Yeah, see Cruz, at Shayveride’s House of Mesmerizing Eyes there’s not a lot of hot lady action left for anyone else.
Casey and the boys are eating ice cream by the water. Ben wants Casey to promise he’s not going to leave like his parents. He promises, which is nice in the moment but, you know, breaking a promise to a kid will get you sent straight to hell.
Back at the bar, Otis is substituting the “eat six Saltines in a minute challenge” for the more deadly cinnamon challenge. He stuff them into his mouth just before Cruz says that he wants no part of living with the greek gods of gorgeous. Mills flirts with Isabella who asks him to celebrate with her. He looks a little sad when she tells him that Gaby is just fine with them dating. Mouch gets all the signatures he needs to get on the ballot and everyone celebrates for half a second before Arthur walks into the bar. He asks for his share and Dawson dumps out the tip jar. He says, “Oh no, you silly girl, Smarmy Jay has been telling me all about how well you guys are doing. So we’re going to have a new deal.” Dawson loses it over and kicks Jay out of the bar. I think he deserved a swift kick elsewhere, but that’s just me.
You fucked with the wrong Marine, bucko. Dawson, girl, maybe it’s time to see how the other half lives. Shay’s single and not a spy for the mob.
Next week it looks like Shay and Dawson are breaking up and someone points a gun at Shay.
So, what did you think of “Defcon 1″?