Nicole Pacent (Anyone But Me) put a lot of thought into her list:
1. Ellen DeGeneres in If These Walls Could Talk 2 could truly be my perfect woman. Really truly.
2. Chloë Sevigny in If These Walls Could Talk 2 – I… don’t even know what to say. She (her character, specifically) is just unbelievably sexy in that movie. At this point, I’ve essentially given myself the rule that whenever I watch the sex scene where Chloe undresses for the first time, I must do so with a chick who will let me jump her bones immediately afterward. That’s really the only way to cope with it.
"Lisa" from Fresh Prince of Bel Air (otherwise known as Nia Long, but it all goes back to Lisa for me, so I’m stickin’ to it).
And now that I think about it, Nia Long was in If These Walls Could Talk 2, as well. Can you tell how much I hate that movie?
4. Angelina (Jolie – is a last name really necessary?) post-Johnny Lee Miller/pre-Brad. By my calculations, that’s roughly 1998-2005, or, if you prefer, Gia – Mr. and Mrs. Smith (the filming of, at least). Search far and wide, there was never anything better than Angie in her heyday. Period.
5. Leo DiCaprio circa Romeo and Juliet. Wait, wait, wait, hear me out: Considering the flowing blonde locks, pretty boy punim, and the similarity between his build and Claire Danes’ own undeveloped frame in that film, I think you can make an argument for this one.
6. Shakira. The video for “Whenever, Wherever” was part of my sexual awakening. The way that woman can move her hips is just unholy. To this day, I morph into a 14-year-old boy every time I see her. Funny feeeellllliiinnngggsssss!
7. Ellen Page. I was late to jump on this bandwagon, but I’m feeling pretty good about it now. I mean, she’s just straight up girlfriend material.
8. Kate Moennig circa Season 2 of The L Word. Cliché be damned. She hot. Deal with it.
9. Mila Kunis. SUCH a crush. Just an incredibly sexy, smart, funny little spitfire of a girl who totally seems like she could hang with the boys. Doesn’t get much better than that.
10. Lori Petty circa Point Break. The tomboy persona in combination with the genetic triumph that is dark hair + bright blue eyes. Be. still. my. heart.
Bonus Entry (What the heck – I’m just giving myself one):
The little blonde piece of wonder who works at my gym. Name unknown, but definitely worth finding out.
Comic Gloria Bigelow provided a brief introduction to her list:
Okay… so this is hard. There are a lot of hot women. I have decided to narrow it down to hot women that I have actually met and seen in person, so I can voutch for their hotness – or yellers … people who yell a lot. You know, women who just make a whole lot of noise!
1. Nicole Piña – Well I don’t think I gotta explain this folks, but in case I do … I was playing 1 in 100 at Dinah and she walked in and became number 1, 2, and 3.
2. Rachel Maddow – I was two feet away from her at a performance and I can say officially… that her glasses are just as snazzy as you would think and her brain looks absolutely enormous in person
3. Jillian Michaels – I’d love to have her standing over my bed yelling at me to get up and take a walk. I’d be so scared, I might actually do it.
4. Paula Patton – I was sitting at a cafe; it was about 7pm. I was wearing the perfect summer frock, and a woman said, "That’s a beautiful dress. Can I sit down and have tea with you?" She sat down at the table – it was Paula Patton – Precious isn’t the only one that can have day dreams.
5. Rosario Dawson – I said, "You’re the only woman my girlfriend would leave me for, and seeing you in person, I totally understand why." She laughed and bought me a drink … people who laugh are always hot to me.
6. Lady Gaga – She had so much glitter on her, I could hardly concentrate on what she was saying, but she was adorable and hot!
7. Shelly Nicole of Shelley Nicole’s blaKbüshe – well, she has a band called blaKbüshe. That in and of itself makes her hot, but picture this: if Nona Hendryx, Chaka Khan, and Bette Davis had a baby, that would be incredibly hot – and that baby would be Shelly Nicole.
8. DJ Kathy Valenti – There is something about a woman on the ones and twos … that’s hot!
9. My co-stars of Cherry Bomb – They’re undeniably hot, they make me laugh and they look good, even without make-up.
10. Staceyann Chin – An activist, an artist, and definitely a yeller – undeniably hot!