Finally, a new year. A chance to start again, to find new interests, to make new friends but keep the old. But you know, some “friends” from media and pop culture are not friends I want to keep. Entertainment site UGO reminds us of some big names we’d like to never hear again — and we have a few suggestions of our own.
Why, why, why won’t Sarah Palin go away? Wait — I know why: because people keep giving her interviews and putting her on Most Fascinating People lists and letting her have her own reality show. Sarah Palin’s Alaska is like one of those horrible family vacations with relatives you don’t know and by mid-trip don’t want to know. And then you have to come home and watch the vacation videos.
Actually, I’d prefer that the entire Palin family vanish from public view. Daughter Bristol had her 15-minutes with her dance dance revolution and other daughter Willow made a name for herself as a bratty homophobe.
Mom’s reaction whenever a nasty bit of family business comes up is to blame the media for being bullies. The Palin family has thick skin, she says, but she’d really prefer that the nasty newshounds would leave them alone. A word of advice, dear Sarah: if you want your kids out of the public eye, quit pushing them in to it.
I don’t get the whole Ke$ha thing. Seriously, I don’t. But I can’t put it better than Ugo does:
“The Los Angeles-born electro-pop songwriter saw her debut album Animal pop to the top of the Billboard charts, buoyed by the single “Tik Tok.” Why? Because we are garbage people and we lost our taste a long time ago.”
To me, Ke$ha seems no more than a Lady Gaga wannabe. And she doesn’t even come close.
Tila Tequila faced a genuinely sad experience this year when her fiancé, Casey Johnson, died. But grief is not something Miss Tila does discretely. She tried to adopt Johnson’s daughter, then said she’d adopt a baby from Haiti instead. (Haiti turned down the offer.) Then she said she was pregnant with a “very famous musician’s” baby, but she miscarried, then got pregnant, then miscarried again. And lest you think I’m being insensitive, keep in mind that we learned these intimate details from Miss Tila herself — via Twitter.
Tila T. believes that her breakthrough show, A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila, influenced all the celebrities in the world to come out and she considers herself a role model to the LGBT community. Um, OK. Consider your role modeled, Miss Tila. Now. Just. Go.
Reality shows are not really my thing, but Jersey Shore doesn’t require viewing in order to know how awful it is. That the show produced an equally awful celebrity makes perfect sense. Snooki Polizzi is everywhere and she believes the hype — because she created it herself.
Worse than her mere presence is the fact that Snooki took to kissing girls on the show as a way to get more attention — and it worked. But she’s a barsexual —making out with women only when she’s drunk. Yuck. We can live without that kind of girl/girl action.
How do we know the time has come for Miley Cyrus to retire? Five words: Hannah Montana. With a bong.
Ugo’s male candidates for disappearance in 2011 are Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, Julian Assange, Kanye West, Jesse James and Justin Bieber. I don’t think any lesbian of good conscience wants The Bieb to go away before he actually admits he’s one of us, but I can’t argue with the others. You can see all the reasons why at ugo.com.
Personally, I have an entire list of celebs I’d just as soon never see again. But I would rather read yours, so I’ll just add one that I think we can all agree on:
Trashed Lindsay Lohan
Don’t misunderstand— I love Lilo. I think she is gorgeous and extremely talented. But I can’t take watching her destroy herself. I want her to be OK. I want rehab to work. And I want her to take some time away from the spotlight in order to get well. Really well.
Your turn — what celebrities can you live without in 2011?