“Cashmere Mafia” Recaps: Episode 1.7 “Dog Eat Dog”

Lunch ideas — At their daily lunch/gab fest, Mia complains she
wants things to be easy, for her and Jason to know each other’s habits and
weirdnesses, and for her to be able to make fun of him. Or as Zoe rightly calls
it, "married life."

Mia: I just want to come first.
Zoe: Don’t we all?

Eek. Just what, exactly, has
Zoe been doing all day?

Caitlin rushes in, late. She
tells the mafia about Lily Parrish getting shut out of Fashion Week. She has 48
hours to pull a miracle out of her ass. Mia offers to call the dean of the Fashion
Institute, a well-known design school in Manhattan.
Maybe someone young, hungry and about to break out can be made an offer they
can’t refuse.

A kid with scissors and a
dream versus Anna Sui and Marc Jacobs? Oh, honey. No. This is a Hail Mary play
not even Caitlin’s sib, Father Brother, can make work.

Meanwhile, no one asks
Caitlin how she’s doing since getting dumped by Alicia. No need to rehash that
old news for our sake, I guess. Juliet changes the subject and tells the girls
what a pain in the derriere Gerard is. Where is she ever going to find an
architect? Zoe hits Juliet’s forehead with a verbal smack and says, "What
about Eric?"

Juliet asks if Eric has
any commercial experience? Other than the Diet Coke spot he did in the U.K.?

Zoe sells her husband as
she waves a grape on a fork at Juliet.

Zoe: At least give him a chance to
pitch. He’s perfect for this.

Juliet sits silently
staring at her sparkling water.

Mia: OK. I’ll say it. You’re nervous
about mixing friends and business.
Juliet: I am not! [long pause] I am
a little.
Caitlin: We always mix friends and
business. We do! [motioning to Mia] We just did. Isn’t that the point?

Let’s review. Mia had a
taste of Zoe’s manny. Caitlin gave Juliet a makeover on Lily Parrish’s dime. Juliet
used Zoe’s banking resources to dig into Davis’
business transactions. Caitlin slept with her ad rep. Yup. One hand washes the
other. Which is a good thing, considering where some of those hands have been.

After that’s settled,
they dish about Juliet’s new suitor, Len Dinerstein. Caitlin wants to know what
it’s like to be courted by a billionaire? It’s just like dating a woman for the
first time. You don’t know how you’ll fit into your date’s world, with its own
rules, cliques and vacation spots. The wardrobe is different, the slang is
foreign, and new friends spend a lot of time gossiping about who’s in bed with
whom, figuratively or literally.

If the girls really want
to know, maybe Juliet should call over the Lipstick Jungle
and ask the clothing designer who looks like Bjork. She’s going through the
same thing. What a coinky-dink. Apparently New York City is just crawling with single
billionaires.

Mia recommends that Juliet learn how to keep a kosher kitchen for her — hee, hee — future husband. If she needs Yiddish lessons, sadly, Caitlin can’t help her.

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