“Cashmere Mafia” Recaps: Episode 1.7 “Dog Eat Dog”

 
 

Gerard leaves as
billionaire Len walks in. Juliet’s life is full of challenging, confident men ever
since she dumped that manipulative sneak, Davis.

The first thing Len does
is criticize Juliet’s deal with Gerard because his hotels are dependent on "the
whims of second-rate celebrities and Eurotrash hangers-on." What’s your
point?

The second thing he does
is flirt, even though she accuses him of buying their stock just to sell off
the company, one pillow-top mattress at a time.

Juliet: Our board understands that we
know our brand better than anybody and they trust me to do my job. I’m pretty
sure with all your money, you wouldn’t want to be stuck battling with me on a
daily basis.
Len: I don’t know. Battling with you
on a daily basis might be fun.

Juliet goes silent. Len
assures her he’s no wolf in hand-tailored lamb’s wool clothing. "Billionaire"
is not a character profile; it’s just a word that goes next to his name. Oh,
puh-leese. Which P.R. firm came up with that sound bite? "Cynic" is
not a character profile; it’s just a word that goes next to my name.

Len gets up to leave.
"You’ve made it clear that you don’t want this company in play. What about
you? Are you in play?" Len asks simply.

Juliet agrees to go to
dinner with Len. Just a regular dude in a two thousand dollar suit, with "billionaire"
next to his name.

Dog days and three-dog nights — Mia is home, trying to engage Wiley
with a little game of fetch. Wiley lies there like a rug and lets the ball hit
him in the face, rather than chase it. Wiley needs fewer Doggie
Downers and more Puppy Uppers
.

The doorbell rings and
Wiley still doesn’t budge. Now I know something’s wrong. Wiley seems depressed,
to be honest.

It’s Jason, making his
booty call. OK, not the most impressive visitor, so I understand Wiley’s
underwhelmed, bored expression. Jason takes one look at Wiley and wonders two
things: Why is that dog in a coma, and what’s that smell? Jason is not a dog
person, I guess.

Mia shows Jason something
to make him sit up and beg.

Five second’s later,
there a loud snoring sound, and it’s not Wiley. It’s me. Kidding. Mostly. What’s
Caitlin doing right now? Having a drink at a women’s bar? At Barnes &
Noble, looking at erotic lesbian fiction? Home, creating a user profile on
AfterEllen.com?

The snoring is ruining my
daydreaming. Hard-working, scalpel-wielding, brain-poking Jason has fallen fast
asleep on Mia’s belly button.

This relationship has all
the heat of a video Yule
log
.

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