“Cashmere Mafia” Recaps: Episode 1.6 “Yours, Mine and Hers”

 
 

Grrr.

Death bed confessions — Juliet is holding a bedside vigil in Davis’
hospital room. I guess their daughter, Emily, couldn’t be there because she’s
busy getting jumped into a gang over at her new public school.

Davis comes to and sees
Juliet there. Weakly, he apologizes for taking away the artwork, the car and
her self-esteem. "Seeing you makes me think everything’s going to be
OK," he says as Juliet glows from behind and the violins swell.

Davis then tells Juliet
she can have the apartment and he’s going to return all the things he ran off
with. I think they’re sending something through his air tube other than oxygen.

The. Best. Cardiac.
Physician. Ever. comes in and announces that Davis did not really have a heart
attack — it was a panic attack. He prescribes an anti-anxiety med and a
psychiatrist. How about a maturity pill? Do they make those?

The very next day — Juliet gets served with papers from Davis’
shark to vacate the apartment. So much for an amicable divorce and the healing
powers of near-death experiences. She immediately hunts down Davis and finds
him getting out of the Aston Martin he gave her as a gift.

Skewed by their lawyers,
every move is construed as a twist of the knife. Davis verbally gave her the
apartment, but only under duress. Her hospital visit was merely to manipulate
him and pick at his bones. "I tried for 15 years to get something out of
you, and I finally realized: there’s nothing there," she says. Juliet
turns on her well-heeled heel and struts away, feisty as all get out.

Baby business — Mia and Caitlin are downtown, walking. These two
sure are hanging out a lot lately. Caitlin wonders why things can’t just be
simple with Alicia. Lesbians and simple? Do you want to take this one, or shall
I?

Caitlin: Why can’t it be: I meet
someone, I fall in love? Can’t it just be that? Why does it have to be: I meet
somebody, I fall in love, she’s pregnant?

Screeech. Stop the car.
Caitlin loves Alicia? Since when? Guess the scene where Caitlin tells a woman,
"I love you" for the first time ended up on the cutting-room floor
too.

Caitlin: Am I ready to be a parent,
which I would have to do with this other parent, who already hates me and is my
doppelganger?
Mia: I didn’t think she was that
pretty.

Good old Mia.

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