“Cashmere Mafia” Recaps: Episode 1.6 “Yours, Mine and Hers”

 
 

Bad news? — Juliet is in a meeting when her assistant interrupts to
say Davis had a heart attack.

At the hospital, Juliet
finds Cilla is already there. The reasons for his coronary are front and
center.

Being the Florence
Nightingale that she is, Cilla called her ex-husband’s cardiologist, the best
in the city, to look for Davis’ heart.

Cilla has some words of
wisdom for the about-to-be-divorced Juliet.

Cilla: I just wanted to say — and I
wish someone had told me this the first time I got divorced — it’s actually a
very liberating experience. I’m sure there are parts of you that have gotten
buried or lost in this marriage. You get all that back. Plus, the summer house.

She adds that there are
plenty of men out there for women in their shoes. All they have to do is
sidestep their pesky wives to get to them. She bids Juliet a cheery
"toodles" and sashays off to get a pedicure or vaginal rejuvenation
or whatever it is rich women do with their time.

Meeting the ex — Caitlin goes to meet Olivia for a drink or five.
They both agree they might as well get acquainted, as they’ll be sharing diaper
duty soon. Perky, toothy, wrapped-too-tightly Olivia waves maniacally at
Caitlin as she enters the bar.

Caitlin orders a shot of
tequila and Olivia immediately chimes in, "Me too!" Alicia loved this
woman and wanted to have children with her? Really?

Olivia tells Caitlin
she’s concerned about having her child raised by someone with so many
"sexual identity issues."

Olivia: First, you’re straight. Then,
you’re gay. Then, you’re bi.
Caitlin: And now, I’m getting drunk.
Olivia: This is my baby, and you
just don’t seem like much of a role model.
Caitlin: How do you know so much
about me? Did Alicia tell you that?
Olivia: Here’s another thing. I hope
you don’t plan on having this kid call you
"Mommy." This family’s topping out at two mommies.
Caitlin: Listen, you have no genetic
relation to this child and neither do I. The only one who does is Alicia, so
maybe we should be letting her make some of the calls.
Olivia: You’ve got a lot to learn
about lesbians.

Caitlin resists
strangling Olivia until Alicia waddles in with her signature dimples and baby
bump. Either she’s unbelievably selfish or she’s suffering from Juliet’s
disease, because Alicia wants everything to be hunky-dory between Caitlin and
Olivia, who sit gnashing their teeth at each other from behind fake smiles.
Caitlin assures Alicia they couldn’t be hitting it off better unless they had
actual clubs. Ain’t that right, Olivia?

 

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