Adam, Eric and the kids
look like the happiest gay family on earth.
Later that night — Mia and Adam meet after hours to "talk"
about his photos. Off in the distance, Clive is screaming: "No, no no! You
bloody, stupid cow!" He could be ripping into an editor, could be the
cleaning lady. Who knows? Who cares?
Clive bellows for Mia
next, so she shoos Adam out of her office. He thanks her for her time and
advice by kissing her.
Elsewhere, Sam the
Playwright and Caitlin the Confused are having dinner. She spends most of the
time talking about Alicia — ordinarily a first date no-no but in this case,
fricking awesome. For his part, Sam is practically sitting in her lap.
Caitlin: So, like a month into it, my
first real girl thing, she turns to me and goes, "I’m pregnant."
Sam: Whoa. You don’t see that
Caitlin: No, you do not. And isn’t
that something you share with someone before getting in a relationship with
Sam: Did she just find out or was
she trying to hide it from you?
Caitlin: She’s like, three months along!
Sam: And you didn’t notice any
weight gain or …
Caitlin: I thought it was, like, "I’m
so in love" poundage. There is nothing in the self-help section for this
particular twist, I’ll tell you that right now.
"I’m so in love"
poundage is almost a verb to me.
Caitlin wonders why she’s
telling Sam any of this as she throws back another brandy. He leans over and
kisses her with his cooty lips.
Caitlin says, "Wow,"
and then, "Ya think?" I don’t know what that means. Not really. Give
me Mandarin any day.
Sam tears his eyes off Caitlin long enough to see a man walking into the restaurant. He panics; it’s a
producer who’s waiting for his script. Then Caitlin panics because the
producer’s companion is … wait for it … Alicia.
What are the odds! Alicia
and the producer don’t seem to be looking across the room, so Sam’s strategy is
simple: Hide under the table, sneak out the back, and run like hell. And who
among us hasn’t done that at least once?