“Cashmere Mafia” Recaps: Episode 1.5 “Stay With Me”


Make sure it’s yours
before you marry her, Caitlin. That’s all I’m saying.

Meanwhile, a lesbionic
confession to her brother the priest: five Hail Marys. A lesbian shower gift
for Alicia’s friends: $100. The look on Caitlin’s face: priceless.

Caitlin: How?
Alicia: A donor. My ex and I had
been trying for a while. And after we split up, I was still in such a place of
wanting a child, I tried one last time. [pregnant pause] Aren’t you going to
say something?
Caitlin: Uh. Congratulations?

The whole time this bomb
is exploding in Caitlin’s lap, the music playing underneath is twinkly and
cutesy. Because it’s just so crazy! Wacky, even!

The work husband — Over at Magazine Central, Clive is still on the
warpath. If the missus isn’t home to do his, uh, laundry, he should do a load
by hand, if you get my drift.

Adam calls and makes an
appointment to come see Mia because as a manny, he can make her a dirty, dirty martini
and do her laundry, too.

At Zoe’s office, the
long-awaited moment has arrived. Work husband Nicholas is there, in the flesh. He
remarks he’s never seen Zoe’s legs before and my, what nice legs they are. As
Zoe and Nicholas sit smiling at each other in her office, bizbo Katherine sticks
her boobs in to say hello.

Nicholas isn’t the horny
rube Clayton is, and after a cordial greeting, practically tells Katherine and her
girls to get lost. Awesome.

Nicholas: How many of the guys in the
office has she been through?
Zoe: One that I know of. How did you
Nicholas: It’s a type. In my office,
there’s a Claudia and a Joelle.

Zoe has chosen her work
husband well. Meanwhile, Zurich sounds like fun!

The bathroom man — Over at Caitlin’s office, a meeting is breaking
up. Her gay assistant tells her a man is there to see her and "it’s
personal." She looks out at the waiting area and sees Sam, Sam, the
Bathroom Man. Ugh. At least she doesn’t look terribly giddy about it.

Sam says he was in her
neighborhood. Making house calls to check on cases of sexual confusion among
lipstick lesbians is Sam’s creepy specialty. Caitlin acts like she doesn’t remember
his name. I like that.

Sam tells Caitlin he’s
Sam Morgan, "the playwright … a

Caitlin: You say "playwright"
like you were saying "pedophile."
Sam: Well, it’s just sort of an
awkward job description out here in the civilian world.

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