“Cashmere Mafia” Recaps: Episode 1.4 “The Deciders”


A series of unfortunate events — Over at the offices of Skirtchaser, Backstab and Gross, Katherine the Grate tells Zoe that the big meeting with Flip-flop and the bankers has been changed to Sunday, the day of her son’s super-spectacular birthday party. Zoe is livid.

Big cartoon-head Clayton tells Zoe that the meeting is going forward without her, but not to worry. Katherine, having watched Zoe work, can handle things for her.

Zoe counters that she’s a managing director and Katherine has been out of school for a whole year. Clayton stands there staring at Zoe but doesn’t hear her, because he’s having conflicting thoughts about Katherine’s boobs and lawsuits.

At that exact moment, dear, sweet, misunderstood Davis calls Juliet to cancel their romantic dinner for two. Or is it three: Juliet, Davis and his id? He tells her he has to work late with his mysterious benefactor, Charles "Magwitch" Nadler. Again. And plays to her sympathies by claiming he’ll be stuck eating deli food or "starving." Aw. This guy raises emotional manipulation to an art form.

Suspicions aroused once again, Juliet tries doing a reverse internet search on Nadler’s cell phone number. Nothing. Then, Zoe calls to report that her own computer sleuthing confirms the digits belong to one Charles Nadler of Southampton, New York. Zoe is scary efficient.

Juliet breaths a sigh of relief — her first in months. As Juliet basks in the glow of her awesome, perfect marriage, Gerard Le Pew comes bursting into her office like he’s storming the Bastille. He demands the freedom to be a "pompous little bastard."

Juliet: Gerard, I am so sorry …
Gerard: First, I am anything but little.

Snort. Men.

Juliet: That was an unfortunate outburst in a heated moment. It was just … words. But, it was unprofessional. So, if you feel you need to withdraw from this deal because I hurt your feelings, I understand.
Gerard: What? You don’t think I’ve been called a bastard by a beautiful woman before? What I don’t want is you calling me that behind my back. I’d rather you say that to my face.
Juliet: Gerard, if I think you’re being a bastard again, I’ll tell you. You have my word.

Gerard reminds Juliet a business deal is exactly like a marriage. Hey pal, in America, we close the deal with a handshake.

Gerard says there must be trust and communication between both parties. Juliet nods as if he’s just given her the secret to true happiness. Otherwise, what do you have? Uh, Davis?

Juliet and Gerard agree to a clean slate, starting demain.

Meanwhile, I think Gerard is a great a match for Juliet. As opposed to Davis, who’s a spineless, conniving man-whore.

With a renewed faith in mankind, Juliet calls a chef’s number she appears to know by heart, and asks for something decadent and fast. I’m pretty sure Katherine has plans tonight, so Juliet will have to settle for food.

The last straw — Juliet exits her town car in front of Davis’ office with a giant covered basket in her arms. Either she’s got Romulus and Remus in there, or it’s a lavish gourmet dinner for two.

As she approaches the revolving doors, she sees Davis coming out of the building. And what’s this? Cilla Grey is right behind him. Any steak knives in that basket by any chance?

Juliet shoves the basket at Cilla and storms off down the street. Davis chases after her and admits the reason for all the secrecy: He screwed up his hedge fund so badly, he had to go to Cilla for money.

Then, he lets slip that he’s dipped into their personal savings. And by the way, the Aston Martin was just for show, and not so much for the romantic getaway he might have implied. Just how many betrayals does he think Juliet can beat back with her mental mallet of denial?

The only thing Davis hasn’t done to this woman is tell her he’s on the down low. Then again, this is only Episode 4.

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