“Cashmere Mafia” Recaps: Episode 1.4 “The Deciders”

As the girls jealously mock Caitlin’s pseudo-relationship and all its great girl-on-girl, er, communication, in walks Mr. Communication himself, Mia’s ex, Jack, with a date on his arm.

Mia spins around and gives them a polite greeting, congratulates Jack on his new, lesser (heh) job and tells his date she recognizes her from cable, reading the news. Which is very different from calling her a journalist. Mia is a sly one.

Jack mentions an upcoming brunch they’re both invited to, and Mia bravely smiles and says, "See ya there!"

As soon as they’re gone, Mia announces she’s not going to the party if Jack is going to be there. The girls insist she call the "handshaking brain surgeon" because nothing says "I’m over you" like being squired by a handsome doctor who doesn’t look like a smarmy, male version of Madam, the puppet.

Mia balks until Caitlin puts it succinctly: "Do you want to go to that party alone, while that talking head of a slut throws you shade? I don’t think so." Brooklyn in da house.

Suspicious minds — At Juliet’s pad, daughter Emily opts out of the self-serving photo shoot for "Juliet and Davis, the Happiest Straight Couple on Earth" to go to a Justin Timberlake concert. Can I come with you?

Juliet bursts in on Davis as he’s taking a shower and finds him not doing naughty things with the soap, but talking privately on his cell phone. Suspicion becoming her second nature, she grills Davis about phone call–water running timeline, but as always, Davis has an answer for everything and blames his mysterious investor, Charles Nadler.

Juliet jots down the phone number on his cell while Davis washes off the day’s dirty dealings.

Caller ID — The next day, Juliet visits Mia for sushi lunch in her office, where she admits she tried calling the phone number but keeps getting a generic voice mailbox in the Hamptons. Juliet worries they can’t rebuild their relationship if she’s paranoid all the time.

Juliet also starts to wonder if the pretentious photo shoot is such a good idea after all, because her caption is going to read, "Dashing Davis Draper and his powerful yet suspicious wife, Juliet." That’s right, honey. It’s all your fault.

Instead of suggesting a caption that reads, "Elegant, successful Juliet Draper and her rat husband, Davis," Mia merely reminds her, "I can cancel it at any time." Ah, power.

Juliet fiddles with her Blackberry, complaining about her high-maintenance kook of a client who thinks in music and textures, Gerard Le Pew. Just then, what little color she has in her face drains right out through the soles of her feet. She’s just sent a "reply all" email to everyone in her company, including Le Pew, that says: "Ignore Gerard, he’s a pompous little bastard."

Reply all. The scourge of humanity.

Juliet declares, "I’m never multi-tasking again." Sure.

She runs out to do damage control, reminding Mia to call the handshaking surgeon as she flies out the door. Can I have your tuna roll?

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