Mama Mia — Over in Mia’s publishing empire, the Queen of All Media is working diligently while wearing only the finest imperial embroidered silk. Suddenly, a voice calls from the doorway, "Mimi …" And in walks Mama Mia herself, with Mr. Mia in tow.
Mia’s mom is a spitfire carrying a designer handbag, rattling off the five things she’s accomplished before breakfast, and — assuming Mia can stop whatever she’s doing because mama’s in the house — just walks right on in. Mia’s dad, a mild-mannered, smiling fellow in a wool sweater who doesn’t get a vote on anything, toddles in too, just happy as a clam to be there.
Lesbians and gentlemen, may I present: my parents.
Why is Mia’s family all Asian, but her last name is Mason? That’s a "previously on" I must have missed.
Mia is happy to see mommy and daddy because she’s momentarily forgotten what a mortifying experience having your parents visit your office can be. Nothing undermines your authority like having your staff hear your mother scold you for wearing a wrinkled shirt. Trust me.
Mama Mia’s eagle eyes scan the surroundings while educated, polished, accomplished Mia shows off her office like it’s the Best. Macaroni. Art. Ever. "It’s very big," Mama says as she looks around the room. "Do you share it with anyone else?" Clueless or cutting? With mothers, you never know.
Mia explains to her parents that she is the Publisher. The Big Kahuna. The Shizzle. She doesn’t have to share anything. Just then, Wendy, one of Mia’s many minions, rushes in and announces, "We’ve got big problems with Katie’s nipples."
Mia hastily introduces her parents to Wendy, the editor of the aptly named Havoc.
Wendy: They weren’t airbrushed out. Did you approve that?
Mia: No, I am The Publisher. I don’t deal with, uh, nipples.
Memo to Mia: You could if you wanted to.
Mia helps Wendy find the door, even as Wendy continues to talk.
Wendy: We need to send Katie something now. You have to authorize the expenditure; at least 20 grand …
Mia: [apologetically to the 'rents] She’s very energetic.
Dad: Welcome to my world.
Heh. Dad gets a zinger in every now and then.
Mama Mia reveals the real purpose of their drop-in. Mom never liked Jack — he wasn’t good enough or smart enough — and so she’s found someone new and improved: Jason Chun, son of a friend, doctor, single, handsome (according to his mother), and he wants to meet for coffee today. Is there time to leave the country?
Mia says if she has coffee with Jason, her mother is prohibited from setting her up on other blind dates for a period of one year. Did we mention Mia went to business school?
C’est bon — While Mia tries in vain to convince her mother that she’s genuinely happy with her life, Juliet is in her office meeting with a boutique hotelier named Gerard who has a suspiciously fake French accent. Juliet is trying to broker a deal to buy Gerard’s properties and discusses the new language in the contract.
Gerard tells Juliet he does not like words. He thinks in colors and music and the language of textures. Ah, the French. That’s all fine, as long as you don’t care that your economy’s in the cuvette des W.C.
They both admit to each other that they’re pain-in-the-ass perfectionists and call it a day. As Gerard leaves, slimy Davis eases on into Juliet’s office and dismissively calls Gerard "Pepé Le Pew," even though it’s Davis who’s the stinker who can’t keep his hands off the pussies.