“Cashmere Mafia” Recaps: Episode 1.3 “Dangerous Liaisons”

Ladies who lunch — After a full morning of running the world, the girls meet for lunch. Juliet tells everyone Bobby called. It’s just like they’re in ninth grade. Later, she’ll be adding him to her MySpace and making him her first top friend.

Zoe: So, this is it? This is really going to happen? You’re going to do it?
Mia: Of course she is.
Zoe: Look, I’m all for fighting fire with fire. But revenge sex? I mean, doesn’t that seem a little "Yuck"?
Mia: If your husband cheats on you, you’re officially entitled to one free "yuck." It’s the law.

Zoe doesn’t care about the rule of law, nor for the taste of revenge. It is not sweet. It tastes like poo.

Juliet doesn’t care. She has a yuck-buddy.

Just then, Caitlin blows into the restaurant, her big-as-saucer eyes made even more saucery by the horrifying news she’s brought to the table. There’s a new gossip website for women in business called RegretsOnly.com. Someone ought to regret choosing that name. Caitlin has a printout of the blind item that has her plotzing.

Zoe: [reading aloud] Which top Lily Parish exec has been seen canoodling all over town …
Mia: Canoodling?
Zoe: … with her hot chocolate agency rep? These ladies are sharing more than makeup tips.
Caitlin: Hot chocolate? What does that make me? Mia: A marshmallow?

Hee.

Caitlin: I just dip my toe in the gay pond and I’m outed?

"Canoodle" always makes me think of canned poodle. Or eating noodles in a canoe. In the gay pond I didn’t know we had.

Then, Zoe spies more disturbing developments, and it isn’t that unfortunate zit on Caitlin’s otherwise lovely forehead.

She reads on: "Which newly anointed magazine publisher left stiletto heel marks all over her fiancé on her way to the top job, trashing her engagement?"

Caitlin eyes Mia and doesn’t feel so alone anymore.

Mia off-handedly remarks she can send the link to her parents to clue them in on her latest news. The girls are shocked she hasn’t told her family yet. Mia masks her sadness with half-hearted optimism and says it’s only been two weeks and you never know, Jack might miss her eventually. Besides, her mom’s just going to blame her, and who needs that noise?

Caitlin drops another bomb about the gossip site. The Perez Hilton of Central Park West is none other than Cilla Grey, the "other woman" whom Davis was boinking until recently.

Caitlin offers to take care of Cilla permanently by giving her cousin in New Jersey a call. What’s he going to do, force feed her fries with brown gravy, give her big hair and send her off to the mall?

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