“Cashmere Mafia” Recaps: Episode 1.2 “Conference Call”

Mia excuses herself to see what other fires she needs to put out.

Mia: What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be on your "lady date"?

Ah, Mia, you slay me.

Caitlin: I screwed it up! We ran into this guy I used to go out with and I shoulda told him to get lost, but I didn’t.
Mia: Ugh …
Caitlin: I know! I just stood there, this guy I used to go out with on one side of me, and this girl I’m going out with on the other side of me, and I’m thinking to myself, "Do I even know how to have a relationship?" ‘Cause I don’t think I do! My life is like a romantic comedy that’s never romantic … or comedic. My life is nothing like a romantic comedy!

How cute is she when she’s babbling?

Mia so doesn’t have time for this now. Before she abandons Caitlin’s sinking ship, she assures her (in a guessing tone) that uh, sure, you are capable of having a successful relationship! Now go away, I have my own alligators biting at my ass.

Mia goes back to confront Grant. Grant smugly tells Mia: "You want the deal, he wants the books. I’m just giving everyone what they want. You should be thanking me."

And that’s the end of her rope. Mia replies, "Grant, you’re fired."

Mia turns to Ian the ah-teest and puts her Jimmy Choo’d heel down. "I cannot make coffee table books the size of coffee tables," she tells him. Ian gives her a bored "oh, well" shrug. And that’s that.

Grant grabs her and wants to know more about this nonsense about being fired, but Caitlin isn’t done processing her love life and comes back for more.

Grant: You’re actually firing me? You wouldn’t be where you are today, if it weren’t for me.
Caitlin: [butting in] No, no, no. That’s not true.
Mia: I can handle this!
Caitlin: I just don’t want him to say things he’s gonna [to Grant's face] regret later. I’m kinda an expert on that.
Grant: Oh, you mean like when I said [to Mia] "You’re hired?" I shouldn’t regret that?

Mia wants to take it outside, but Grant will have none of it. Who knew Guy Smiley was a big ol’ drama queen?

Grant: [loudly] Everybody in this room knows what a bitch you are …

Mia and Caitlin look at Grant like he just told them they look like the softer side of Sears. Is anyone going to be punching anyone’s balls off?

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