“Cashmere Mafia” Recaps: Episode 1.2 “Conference Call”

Reunion Juliet has re-created her makeover look and waits for Bobby Walsh at the bar of an upscale restaurant for their phony reunion. After he walks in, she admits it’s a reunion of two, but he doesn’t care about the ruse. In fact, he’s glad — he only wanted to reunite with her anyway.

Meanwhile, Zoe, Eric and Victoria are talking about shopping malls. Marriage takes all the interesting out of people. What’s next, coupons and how great the produce is at Fairway?

Then, right in front of Zoe, Victoria starts gushing about Eric’s kitchen designs. Most architects’ designs, she says, "come from here," and points to her head. But Eric’s "come from here," and she points to her heart. Her motives come from there — a place a foot and a half lower.

Victoria asks Eric to design a kitchen for her, promising it’ll be featured in Architectural Digest. Zoe immediately says he can’t; Eric says he can. Apparently he thinks that thing kicking him under the table is a New York City rat.

Also busted — And finally we find Caitlin and Alicia on their date, dancing the night away. They both look hot — Alicia is in a tight leather jacket and Caitlin, with her hair up in a pony tail, is in a cleavage-popping leopard-print top and big hoop earrings.

As they dance to the mindless thumping, Alicia takes periodic glances down at Caitlin’s heaving breasts, and grins. They move closer together until, breathlessly, Alicia takes Caitlin by the waist and lays one on her.

And then, along comes Mike, some guy Caitlin used to date. Ugh, I just lost my Little Miss Happy. Mike breaks into their private dance and yells at her like the clueless asshat he is, "Caitlin!" Dude, can’t you see she’s busy right now?

Mike: Wow! You’re looking guuuud, babe!
Caitlin: Thank you.
Mike: You gonna introduce me to your friend?
Caitlin: Ah … Alicia, Mike. Mike, Alicia.
Mike: [to Alicia] We used to date. [to Caitlin] ‘Course you never mentioned you played for both teams.
Caitlin: I don’t, uh, that’s crazy, I don’t …

The Foot in Mouth Slide. The dance craze that’s sweeping the nation.

Alicia’s heard enough and politely says it’s been fun, it’s been real, too bad it hasn’t been real fun. She shakes lunkhead’s hand and tells Caitlin, "He seems like a nice guy … your type," and walks off the dance floor, disappearing into the crowd.

Mike yells at Caitlin over the music, "You know what’s weird? You’re, like, the third chick that’s gone gay on me," and smiles a dopey grin. No, really? I find that hard to believe. Disgusted, Caitlin pushes through the undulating masses and away from Mike, the Lesbian Maker. Let’s all thank Mike.

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