“Cashmere Mafia” Recaps: Episode 1.2 “Conference Call”

At the drop-off — Meanwhile, it’s a special occasion for Zoe and Eric; they’re walking their kids to school for once. Zoe’s daughter tells her parents that her friend has a new Marc Jacobs bag. The daughter is only 10 years old. Zoe acts aghast, as if the apple doesn’t fall far from the accessory tree.

At the steps of the Athina Onassis Elementary School for Privileged and Therefore Gifted Children, Zoe’s son shows her a tree that he and his class planted.

Zoe: I wish I could spend every morning looking at your tree.
Son: You can, if you bring me to school.

Ouch. The next time Zoe has time to walk her kids to school, that tree is going to have 10 more rings and her son is going to be shaving.

Just then, a MILF named Victoria wearing a velour track suit yoo-hoos at Zoe and Eric from the top of the steps. Victoria’s a stay-at-home mom, so pumped up on caffeine and the sheer joy of child-rearing that she’s practically doing cartwheels at the mention of the field trip on Thursday.

Zoe’s son looks at his mom expectantly. Zoe has no recollection of a field trip on Thursday, even though Eric says there’s a flyer about in on their bulletin board at home. "We have a bulletin board?" Zoe asks with a straight face.

Victoria tries to cheer up Zoe’s kids with an offer to join her and her own daughter at "Construct-a-Bear" after school. Zoe’s daughter might prefer a trip to Nordstrom at this point, but it’s better than waiting in the library for four hours for someone to pick her up.

And as if Zoe doesn’t already feel threatened by Victoria’s belly shirt and ingratiating ways, Victoria tells her, "Ya know, your husband is really adorable," while she eyes Eric leeringly. Have a nice day!

Office romance — In her office, Caitlin is leading a meeting to discuss a new makeup line. According to Caitlin, the latest market research shows that women don’t want to tan, they want to glow. There are several ways to achieve this attractive look. Have mind-blowing sex. Smear lightning bugs all over your face. Live next to a nuclear reactor.

Caitlin’s new attraction on the road less traveled, Alicia, is also at the meeting. Alicia suggests they call their new product "No-Blush" blush and smiles playfully at Caitlin.

A white man tries to score diversity points with Alicia by asking if anyone realizes they’re only marketing to white women?

Alicia: Well, they do buy makeup …
Man: Well … uh … of course.
Alicia: And they certainly should glow. That’s what they want. [looking into Caitlin's eyes] You did say that’s what they want.
Caitlin: I did? I did! [flustered] Is anyone else thirsty?

She empties a bottle of water in four gulps flat, giving Alicia a view of her lovely neck.

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