“Candy Bar Girls” recap: Episode 6

Gary has arranged for the girls to have a makeover for the party in the salon next door to the Candy bar. Shauntelle and Alex have a quick fag outside before being ushered inside. They then have a chat about whether they need a bikini wax or not and we become worry about the outfits that Gary is making them wear tonight.

Shauntelle heads for a spray tan and promptly propositions the salon lady who backs off giggling, while Alex gets a consultation from the salon’s top hairstylist who is dressed in so much pink that it would burn Gary’s retinas right into the back of his skull. He tells Alex that he will give her “Beeg, beeg herr, you weeel be soo glamorous.”

Sarah: Is that the way you write French accents?

Lee: It’s how I write all European accents

We’ve never had a spray tan and were we ever considering the possibility, Shauntelle’s face of horror as the tanning spray is blasted onto her body, would be enough to change our minds. We get a superfluous nipple shot during this sequence too.

Back to Alex, who is having her hair washed by the pink flamingo. She tells him that she’s getting married and he asks her if she isn’t too young for that and then asks if she’s ever cheated on her partner. Alex says no way José; she’d never do that and wouldn’t be getting married if she thought she would. The pink flamingo says she can tell him because he’s a gay man.

Alex: Yes, well lesbians are different from gay men, lesbians are monogamous.

Sarah: That’s absolutely true, all gay men cheat and all lesbians are trustworthy. All of them. Every one of them in the world.
Lee: Yes a nice little gay stereotype to throw in unchallenged.

Back at the Candy Bar and Gary is still standing outside watching the handyman do handy things.

Gary: Michael shall I play around with that flag and see if I can get it to do what I want it to?

Lee: Oh Gary, is that a euphemism?
Sarah: Cheap joke, but we’ll keep it in.

Gary goes inside to get his rainbow flag.

Gary: I had to get a small one to keep within Westminster Council’s guidelines

Lee: Oh Gary, is that a eupha—
Sarah: No, not twice. We’re not keeping that in babe. No.

Gary: The only problem is my pole is massive

Lee: Oh, for f–k sake! What am I supposed to do with that?

Gary unwraps his flag pole and takes it outside to be erected by Michael the handyman. This s–t is writing itself.

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