Pop quiz, lezzers — what does today have in common with an apocalypse? Answer: We’re staring into a deserted wasteland with no new Glees in sight. Yep, tonight begins Glee‘s seven-week hiatus. That’s nearly two months without Santana Lopez cutting through glass with her one-liners, Rachel Berry cracking glass with her voice, Quinn Fabray shattering glass because it’s not worthy to hold her reflection, and every lesbian on earth having a cold glass of water after the inevitable dehydration that follows Heather Morris dance solo.
Luckily, your AfterEllen.com staff has been preparing for this day. After the deep depression our Gleeks spiraled into during the 2011 hiatus, we knew we needed to do something to help you keep your heads above water. So, for the next seven weeks, we’re going to present seven countdowns of sevens. That’s seven countdowns featuring things like The Seven Worst Things Glee> Characters Have Been Forced to Say; and Seven Times Glee Really Out-Gayed Itself. But today, we’re presenting Brittana’s Seven Most Swoon-Worthy Moments (in no particular order).
“Sex is not dating.”
It was the throwaway line heard ’round the world. Santana was like, “Sex is not dating.” And Brittany was all, “If it were, Santana and I would be dating.” And every lesbian everywhere was like, “WHAAAAAT?” Sure, we’d seen then flirting and occasionally canoodling, but they were actually doing it? Yeah, they were! Apparently, the writing staff had every intention of letting that joke go, but we had every opposite intention. I actually think Santana’s face had the best reaction of all.
If lesbian fans hadn’t been determined to see the Brittana ship sail before “Blame it on the Alcohol,” they were sure as hell resolved after seeing Santana do a body shot off of Brittany’s abs. Probably the writers were still titillating us (and everyone else) at this point. Little did they know that Brittana’s fate was sealed in our hearts by then, and we were going to see them together.
Later, we would have to explain to Glee‘s writers that neck nuzzles aren’t kisses, but when it first happened, we ran around in circles with our hands over our heads, hooting and hollering to beat the band. Finally, proof that Santana and Brittany were more than friends — even if Santana did give us the bonerkiller line about only making out with Brittany because she needed something warm underneath her for digestion purposes. (Lies!)