But our favorite third base-woman gives her some advice that can only be described as “American.”
Lorna: Maybe I said things I shouldn’t have, and I’m sure it’ll be a hit with your readers, but none of it was any of your business.
Dottie: That’s right, it’s your business. So why don’t you do something?
Lorna: I’m not…you. Quit trying to turn us all into pioneers
Dottie: You hold deadly weapons in your hands all day. And you’re telling me you’re scared to knock on a door?
And I think that should be made into a poster and sent to every woman on earth. On recycled paper, natch.
And now it’s time for the Jewelbox All Girl Revue, the gayest thing I have ever typed and I wrote a lesbian romance novel.
First Miss Roxy comes out and shakes her tail-feather, earning a very long look from Gladys, whose vanity decorations I have not forgotten about. But Betty can’t enjoy the show, since she’s worried that after the war is over, she may be reduced to dancing for nickels.
And then Kate takes the stage, bringing the va va voom we’ve all been waiting so long to see.
Heart. Break. Er.
And even though it kind of sucks to hear her singing about needing a man, she sells it so very well. When Betty watches her, her face starts to glow, and you know that however hard she tries, Kate is the one person she can’t harden her heart against.
I’m over it I’m over it I’m…fuuuuuuuuuck.
Ivan sees the adoring looks from the crowd and knows that if he wants to lock this relationship down, it’s now or never. He sits her down and pulls out a ring he made from champagne wire. It’s exactly the type of thing your friend tells you about like “isn’t this cute?” and you are like “yeah, if you’re twelve.” He promises to take care of her and be the shepherd of her dreams, and ignores all the doubt in her eyes when she says “yes.”
And a thousand McAndrews shippers point all the fireworks straight at their televisions.
After the show, Vera shows up at Villa Moretti, where, Marco and his Italian buddies are brewing homemade wine. And my favorite thing about Marco and Vera’s interactions are that, even though Vera has a beautiful, sexy façade, when she’s around Marco she takes it off. She just walks straight up to him and tells him not to quit the factory, because she would miss him “something fierce.” Later, when the paisans have all gone home, he makes a lot of women very happy when he performs his own little strip tease for her, and I am now Team Burretti until the day I die.
BEST THING BEST THING BEST THING.
They kiss, and when Vera reaches for Marco’s belt, the man who was intimidated by a woman with sexual agency is gone, and replaced by a man who appreciates having his desire reciprocated.
The next day, Gladys is schooling her father at tennis, a skill that she will pass on to her granddaughter, Spencer Hastings. She takes the opportunity to ask for control of her trust fund, and he reluctantly grants it. I cannot wait to see what fabulous things she buys with that money, as long as it includes a superhero cape and mask.
Back at the canteen, Donald the RAPIST, lest we forget, mouths off to Lorna again, and she calmly dumps a plate of meatloaf over his stupid face.
When the other men rise to defend him, they find themselves surrounded by women, all wielding their lunch like weapons and fully prepared to violate the “no food fights” rule.
I’m starting to see why that sign exists.
Lorna finally has her own Gladys and the hat box moment and storms into Akins’ office, demanding equal pay.
Down in the locker room, Betty discovers Kate’s engagement. There’s only one question that matters: “Do you love him?” And when Kate says yes, she seems to mean it. They hug. Like friends.
This scene has already been picked over on the internet pretty exhaustively, but here’s my take. Betty and Kate are trying to be happy for each other, and that is the truth of this scene. It might not be the whole truth, or the forever truth—just look at Kate’s face when Ivan proposes—but it’s the kind of delicate tightrope walk of emotions that we all manage every day. And wherever it’s going, I trust Ali Liebert and Charlotte Hegele to take us there.
And now it’s time for Lorna and Dottie to finally get drunk together. They talk men, booze, and strategies for tearing down the patriarchy while loving individual men and I want them to adopt me so much.
The next day, Akins bows to her will and grants her a thirty-five cent raise. It doesn’t apply to the rest of the women, but Lorna figures you gotta start somewhere.
Also building her dreams brick by brick is Betty, who takes out a small loan from the wanker. She’s on her way to building good credit, which is the first thing she and I will not have in common.
See you next week when Marco joins an Italian street gang (or something) and tests Gladys’ loyalty.