They go to the boarding house to pick up Gladys’ fox fur, because apparently she has given up trying to blend in with the working class, and James is none too pleased with her plans to live here.
James: Gladys, my sweet helpless darling, you simply couldn’t live here. There’s too many scantily clad women and I’m afraid you’d be…I mean it’s not fancy enough.
Betty: This is hardly a hovel, twangy boy!
Me: HA! Twangy Boy! You tell ‘em, Betts! (psssst. Betts, what does “twangy boy” mean?)
Later on this apparently endless night, a drunken James tries and fails to hit the literal broad side of a barn, and Gladys tells him to pull it the fuck together. He tells her he only enlisted for her in the first place, which I’m sure will make her feel awfully guilty when if he dies.
When it is finally the next day, Kate sneaks back into her and her father’s old trailer, to pick up the money she earned and also the money he earned. I’m so proud of her for coming into her own and doing brave things, but I guess Betty and I both are going to have to learn how to be less protective of her.
When she emerges from the trailer, she comes face to face with a detective who (yay) confirms that her father is dead but (shiiiiiit) thinks she might have done it. There is another suspect, however; a blonde woman was seen arguing with the recently deceased preacher. Kate tries to throw him off Betty’s trail.
“Oh yeeeah, totally, her name was….Ms. Smith. Or maybe Ms. Smythe. Or it could been Ms. Fuckoff. Yep I think that was it.”
In other news, the Allies are losing the war. Whatever I don’t have time to talk about everything, not when Kate is threatening to LEAVE.
Kate: You’ve got a life here. You’ve found a boy.
Betty: Yeah, exactly. A boy.
Kate: Why do you want me messing up your life?
Betty: The thing is, Kate, you do mess up my life. Every time you walk in to a room and my heart clenches, every time a stray curl falls over your eyes and I want to put it back into place with a kiss, my life is irrevocably messed up. But it’s also the only thing that I have ever been sure about. So I need to keep sticking around and looking into my eyes and messing up my life forever.
Okay, that last part ended up being subtext because right at that moment, Lorna bursts into the locker room, blood rushing down her legs. That’s right, just piling drama on top of drama on top of blue turbans, it looks like Lorna took the tea after all.
The girls rush her to the hospital, and the way they care for her, the urgency and the love, really speaks to how hard this cast has worked to become a unit.
Whew. This is stressful. Do you need a break? I do and so does Vera. She could really use a break and one comes along in the form of the literal Handsomest Man Alive. He burst out of an Abercrombie and Fitch catalogue to give Vera the steak, sex, and genuine silk stockings to which she is so very much entitled.
Sadly, at midnight he turns back into a statue carved from butter.
I don’t know if this is a one-night stand or if this fella is going to come back, but it warms my heart to see Vera get her groove back.
In the heretofore unseen boarding house kitchen, Ivan bursts in to see if Betty would like to be “properly kissed.” He gives it his best shot and she pats him on the back and says “thank you.” Ouch. (I had a great time re-enacting this scene with my girlfriend and illustrating the difference between proper and improper advances).
Both Bob and Marco end up visiting Lorna at the hospital, but when Marco starts talking about what a “strong woman” she is, Bob punches him in the face.
Not that it has any bearing on anything else, but why is Edith dressed up like Snow White?”
Back in the boarding house, Kate makes an unexpected return. Thankfully, by this time Betty and Ivan have given up trying to make their faces fit together and are just drinking tea. And guys. Guys. This scene. I don’t know what happened between “I’m leaving so you can be with Ivan” and this now but I don’t care because Kate’s eyes shine right into Betty’s eyes and she whispers “I was out there thinking that I had no family but then I realized that I did.” They cross the room slowly to each other, never breaking eye contact, and engage in a long embrace.
When someone finally gets to me with smelling salts, Gladys and James are making words at each other, which happily include “goodbye.” As his last act of bombast, he insists that she stays at the hotel, rather than the boarding house. She agrees, with her fingers crossed behind her back.
“So long and thanks for all the nothing!”
Is it just me or does this show get better every week?