Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (Sept. 14, 2007)

IYARI'S ENGAGEMENT
Openly bisexual actress Iyari Limon, who played vampire slayer Kennedy in Buffy, co-stars in the horror film Death by Engagement, about a cursed engagement ring that brings death to any woman who wears it. No, I'm not making that up. I'm not a horror movie fan, but I love the poster, which unintentionally reads like a parody of a lesbian recruiting ad:

Engagement writer/director Phil Creager tells me: "During shooting Iyari was giving and real, and even helped us out of a jam when we fell behind schedule. I adore her." I'm not surprised — Iyari was a class act every time I talked to her, both when she was playing a lesbian on TV, and then when she came out as bisexual in real life. You can check out her new movie on DVD on Oct. 2nd.

Oh, and Iyari has some news on the personal front, too: She and her boyfriend are expecting a baby any day now (she split with girlfriend Sandra last year).

Back to Death by Engagement: This is just begging to be Photoshopped into a lesbian movie poster. OK, AfterEllen.com readers, who's gonna take it on? Send us your best efforts (editor@afterellen.com) and if we get at least two or three good ones, we'll put them up on the blog, just for fun.

NO, IT'S NOT A LINDSAY LOHAN BIOGRAPHY
Rosie's book Celebrity Detox (The Fame Game) isn't coming out until Oct. 2, but it's already getting a lot of press.

Here's the publisher's official description:

CELEBRITY DETOX is Rosie's story of the years after she walked away from her top-rated TV show in 2002, and her reasons for going back on the air in 2006. In it, she takes you inside the world of talk show TV, speaking candidly about the conflicts and challenges she faced as co-host on ABC's The View. Along the way Rosie shows us how fame becomes addiction and explores whether or not it's possible for an addict to safely, and sanely, return to the spotlight.

Chronicling the ups and downs of "the fame game," Rosie O'Donnell illuminates not only what it's like to be a celebrity, but also what it's like to be a mother, a daughter, a leader, a friend, a sister, a wife...in short, a human being.

But Rosie recently complained about the book on her blog: "So i just got my first hard copy of my new book CELEBRITY DETOX there on the front flap in print ‘when rosie odonnells (sic) mother was diagnosed with cancer in 1968, ten year old rosie thought fame could cure her,’ i was born in 1962 my mother was diagnosed in 1973 WTF!" (There's also some controversy over her comments about Barbara Walters in the book, though Barbara insists they're still good friends.)

Rosie's already at work on her next book: Celebrity Haiku (WTF!).

IT'S LIKE A FUNNY HOW STELLA GOT HER GROOVE BACK, BUT WITH ITALIAN-AMERICAN LESBIANS AND NO AGE DIFFERENCE
Recently I picked up the lesbian novel Greetings from Jamaica, Wish You Were Queer, by Mari Sangiovanni, and was immediately annoyed when the book jacket warned, "this book may make you laugh out loud in public." I'm always suspicious of books that say something like that, but damn if I didn't actually laugh out loud while reading it — several times, in fact. I hate it when the anonymous book blurb writers are right!

The gist of the plot is this: An Italian-American lesbian named Marie, who's just coming off a bad relationship with a cheating ex, inherits millions from her grandmother, takes her family to Jamaica to celebrate, and falls in love with a well-known American actress who's also vacationing there.

Much drama and comedic misunderstanding ensues when the actress mistakes Marie for a stalker, and Marie's family meddles in her affairs (when they're not trying to get their hands on her money). My favorite character is actually her brother and staunchest ally, Vince, who constantly tries to come up with new and different lesbian jokes to tease her with. If you're looking for a funny, well-written novel to help you forget that summer's over already, definitely give this a try!

According to Mari, there are three production companies looking at turning the book into a movie, which she's pitching as "a My Big Fat Greek Wedding, only with Italians, set in Jamaica, with a couple of lesbians thrown in!"

Gotta love Hollywood and their fondness for how something is just like something else, but different! Read more about the author and the book at greetingsfromjamaica.com.