Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (March 27, 2009)

This week on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Oprah discussed the topic of "Women Leaving Men for Other Women" and tried to understand the phenomenon of why so many women are "falling hard" for Work Out's Jackie Warner.

Sound familiar? Yes, Tyra probably thinks so too.

Just a few weeks ago on The Tyra Banks Show, she wrestled with the very similar topic of "Straight Girls With Gay Crushes." In that episode, she followed a lesbian "pick-up artist" specializing in straight women, arranged for the awkward reunion of a lesbian and her straight former flame, and instigated the even more awkward first kiss between a lesbian and her smitten straight co-worker. (Tyra is apparently the self-appointed lesbian Puppet Master!)

Tyra also quizzed out trainer Jackie Warner about the vast number of heterosexual women who find her charms irresistible. Warner regaled the studio audience with tales of wanton straight women of leisure leaving dirty messages on her answering machine and hiring her for expensive training sessions in hopes of gaining some added "benefits."

So did Tyra really scoop Oprah?

In the episode, Oprah interviews women who've turned their previously heterosexual lives upside down after falling in love with other women. Among those she talks to is comedian Carol Leifer, a former writer on Seinfeld and co-executive producer on the CBS sitcom Rules of Engagement, and her partner, Lori Wolf.

Warner appears on The Oprah Winfrey Show with Work Out co-star and her former paramour Rebecca Cardon, who Oprah grills about her attraction to Warner. Perhaps Oprah never heard the rumor that the Jackie-Rebecca dalliance was purely a showmance.

(On a sidenote, if the showmance rumor is ever proven to be true, do you think Oprah will visit a molten wrath upon Warner and Cardon's heads as she did writer James Frey for the fabrications in his "memoir" A Million Little Pieces? That alone would be worth the price of admission, not to mention the price of enduring three seasons worth of sweat and vodka-soaked drama on Work Out.)

If the video preview was expected to be any indicator, it looked like Oprah's episode devoted to the subject might be a bit more substantive than Tyra's.

And Oprah's booming voiceover suggested that it might be a scarier episode too. "A house in the suburbs... a mom's secret exposed!" Is this The Oprah Winfrey Show or Forensic Files?

UPDATE:
The Oprah episode mentioned above was, predictably, not only more substantial than the similarly-themed episode of The Tyra Banks Show, but also more educational, complex, and heartfelt. (There's a reason why Oprah is the Queen of Everything, people!)

The show opened with a fluffy introductory segment featuring Warner and Cardon. In it, Warner explained the mystery behind her own potent sex appeal, and Cardon confessed that "Jackie just came along and filled every void that I had." Cardon added that her current boyfriend is just fine with the fact that "since this affair or however you want to term it, it's opened my eyes up and I'm a little bit different. Like I look at women differently, and I am more open to it.")

Then, Winfrey revisited Chris, a guest from a 2006 episode dedicated to “Wives Who Confess They are Gay,” and found that things were not as peachy as they had been when they last spoke.

Chris in 2006, and Chris today

Back in 2006, Chris talked about ending her marriage to a man and starting a fulfilling relationship with a lesbian whom she described as "The One." This week, a visibly upset Chris told Winfrey that her lesbian relationship had attended and that she is now dating a man.

Winfrey reminded her that three years before, she had identified as gay on the show, and asked her how she identified now. Chris told her, "If I'm capable of having intimacy with a man, then that means probably that I'm not gay. However, when it comes to relationships and where I'm most comfortable, I prefer to be with women."

Winfrey asked her if she had gone back to a relationship with a man because she had been driven there by her lesbian heartbreak or "because you were attracted to this man and feel that men are less complicated?" Chris replied quietly, and with a wincing half-smile, " "I'm attracted to this man, and...things are less complicated."

Note to self: Never go on national television after a painful breakup. Heartbreak transmits very vividly across the airwaves (as well as Skype).

On her 2006 "Wives Who Confess They're Gay" episode, Winfrey invited Joanne Fleisher, author of Living Two Lives: A Married Women's Guide to Loving Women (Alyson Books), to participate in the discussion. This time, Dr. Lisa Diamond, author of Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women's Love and Desire was the expert of Winfrey's choice. She explained the spectrum of sexuality depicted in the Kinsey scale, and speculated as to why stories like Chris's seem to be more and more common.

Her theory? Greater visibility of LGBT issues in general, inviting more discussion of "diversity of experiences" within the subject of LGBT identity. (And, yes, she referenced Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl" as being a starting point for such discussions.) Perhaps playing devil's idiot advocate on behalf of her less-informed viewers, Winfrey asked, "Is this because there's a shortage of men? And women say, 'Well... okay." Diamond assured her that it was not, and that it had "far more to do with the quality of women's relationships with other women than anything to do with men." Chris confirmed that it was the mind-blowing nature of her relationship that particular other woman that "threw me for a loop" and challenged her to question her identity.

After rambling on about super-queeny and obvious "hairdresser"-type gays and singing a few off-key bars of "She's So Fine" and "I Kissed A Girl" (don't quit your day job, Oprah), Winfrey asked Diamond why some women leave men and come out as gay, only to date women who "don't really look like women." (Oh, Oprah. Please tell me that you are just playing devil's idiot advocate again!)

A quick discussion of gender ensued, then Winfrey brought out her next guest, Micki, another woman who had ended a long-term heterosexual marriage and come out as gay. She was joined by her wife (in the audience) and her two daughters from the previous marriage.

Dr Lisa Diamond (left) and guest Micki

The whole family of articulate, thoughtful women answered Winfrey's questions about coming out, the divorce, and the daughters (both young at the time of their parents' divorce) early perception of their mother's lesbianism. It was just the sort of discussion I could imagine being truly helpful to families struggling with the same issues. Winfrey was clearly doing some public service by giving Micki, her daughters, and her wife a platform to share their experiences.

The episode closed with a much more light-hearted segment devoted to comedian Carol Leifer and her partner Lori Wolf. Leifer told the audience of her desire at age 40 to have a fling with a woman, and her surprise at meeting a woman of substance whom she ended up building a solid life with for the last twelve years (and with whom she's adopted a son).

Carol Leifer (left) and partner Lori Wolf

Leifer's amusing tale of convincing an understandably hesitant Wolf to get involved with her (Leifer told her, "Well what would it hurt if we just made out?"), their successful relationship, and her family and friends' acceptance and encouragement ended the episode on a happy note.

Winfrey allowed Diamond to share some closing thoughts, and she stressed that sexual "fluidity" is not synonymous with "choice" (i.e. "choosing" to be gay or bisexual), the sexual fluidity of some in no way negates the homosexuality of others, and that it is quite common for many people to have a "range of sexual experiences" over their lifetimes.

So while there were no flashy segments featuring lesbian "pick up artists" or awkward reunions as there were on The Tyra Banks Show, Winfrey covered a lot of meaningful territory in a brief amount of time. And, most importantly, her episode probably left viewers who are struggling with the issue of sexual identity feeling more informed and a lot more hopeful.

— by Karman Kregloe