Congrats on getting married! I'm sooo happy for the two of you!! :))

Kinda jealous though...I wanted to marry Jessica hehe!!  ^_^

Congratulations on the wedding!

I think I fall into the Lacey category when I never really know how the other girl feels. And to this day, they still are floating on a cloud somewhere in my head. I agree and say enjoy it, but don't put your life on hold for it.

Oh and do straight girls have gay crushes? I say HELL YES!

"What's Spanish for 'I know you speak English?'" - Lucille Bluth

I was waiting for an episode like this, mostly because i'm probably the only lesbian that keeps falling for straight girls.

Anyway, congrats. 

I had a WTF day.

Awesome vblog as usual =]

I think most lesbians first notice they are gay through straight-girl crushes.

Very Good Vlog...it helps to know the pitfalls of my crushes. Plus I love the singing...I tend to break into song when I hear that moment. LOL..

Thank you so much for it really enjoyed it!!!

And Congratulations on your wedding!

You two always look so happy together in your videos and give such good relationship advice that it seems like you have it figured out.  

Congrats again on getting married and I checked out the photos, you two look so beautiful!

 Love the vlog. Straight girl crushes are harmless fun!! Love them!!!

 Good luck on everything.

Thank you for this!! Damn straight girls! Congrats again on the wedding, can't wait to see the photos!

For my weekly updated list of celebrities who need to come out:

dragemout.blogspot.com 

You guys just pulled a Mufasa (circa cloud scene) on me. This video couldn't have come at a better time. I've just started to have an issue with a straight girl crush. Great to hear what you all have to say on the matter.

On a completely different note, that dog in the opening is adorable!

Lastly, Congratulations on the wedding!!! :)

you guys are glowing after the wedding! congrats again.

jessica - i would love to be as bold as you because i like to know exactly where i stand with a person.

i have a question for everyone. i was having an innocent discussion with whom i thought was a straight girl, but changed  my mind after this particular exchange:

ME: So do you have a boyfrien?

GIRL: I hate when people ask me that because it assumes my sexual preference.

ME: ummmm

This leaves me to believe she is at least bi, but now I find myself crushing on her. I think I may just ask...

Oh...the infamous straight girl crush.

A diseaster but at least it made me realize I was bi.

Congrats on the wedding!

I've had so many of crushes on straight girls, especially in college. My classes were filled with hot girls it was hard not to have crushes on them. *sigh*  

Congratulations again on getting married! You ladies seem extra happy and are glowing today. 

omg! thanks for doing my suggestion topic lacey and jessica!!!!

its sooo freakin true! we (or at least i) can't help but have straight girl crushes. they ARE GIRLS!

straight girls have always been such a PROBLEM for me. seriously. lacey, your examples sound like mine. omg, i just gaze at my straight crushes. its like its all in slow motion, with trumpets in the background..........ahhhh.....

im still trying to get over a straight crush at the moment! she treated me like TOTAL shit, but damn is she soooo hot. im getting better though. i deleted my myspace and trying not to think about her. although i see her all the time at college. :S

And YESSSSSSSSS she looks at me too. but she completely stopped being my friend out of the blue, and she acts like she doesn't knw me or see me. :(( so sad.

but yes, i got a vibe from her! drama.

thanks for the video! and congrats on getting MARRIED!!!! yea!

Straight girls get gay girl crushes...gay girls get straight girl crushes.  It is a fact of life, lets face it, women are beautiful so its alright to appreciate the cute ones :) 

I think having "girl crushes" might mean two seperate things depending on your sexual preference though.  I mean when I was figuring this whole thing out a while ago I really didn't stop to think that I was more than just having a small little crush, thinking this girl is CUTE...I never really realized I was infatuated, I mean I really fell hard for some girls...so I guess in that respect I can really relate with Lacey because it was this secret unrequited love.  For straight girls, they might just think that the girl is pretty.  I guess I am curious to know...STRAIGHT GIRLS explain what a "girl crush" means to you.

I've been waiting for this all day. It's already Tuesday in Europe, hello !!!! Ok I was impatient, I admit.

Ok, now I'm happy. My Tuesday is starting nicely.

I totally enjoy the happy mood over all. May I suggest straight girl crush II : how to get out of it / over it. It can be hard when it's no longer fun, like when your crush is playing with your feelings (hot and cold attitude) or you are not sure you are reading her right (I'm not as bold as you Jessica, I tend to dream like your wife), or when suddenly your best friend becomes the object of that crush (witch can be complicated by the fact that you might still be in the closet). Straight girl crush can be a BIG problem.

Other topic, kinna related : Gaydar. I know I'd love to have one specially when it comes to the femme.

I enjoyed this ep. Watching you never fells to put a smile on my face. Thank you .

Side note : Ladies you are glowing with love. It's lovely to watch.

Yes, I agree with the debate but what happens if what you are attracted to is the "straight " look? I think it's much more difficult to narrow down ultra feminine lesbians in a city - especially ultra feminine lesbians who like butch-er women. Let's face it, being a lesbian is not as easy as being a gay man. So I suspect that most lesbians have, and continue to have straight crushes.

On the "girl crush": I asked my friend who is very much straight, and she said that most of the time women say that about celebrities. Basically it means a girl they could possibly go gay for, for a little while at least, but not long term. In other words, you might get to sleep with her, but it would be one night, and she may never mention you LOL. So, that just sucks. 

It's hard to pin down the "girl crush" to either desire or just appreciation. 

L

This is a great topic you guys! I so enjoyed listening to your experiences. I, too, love that energy, that feeling.... totally unforgettable.

Keep up the great work with your vlogs.  Can't wait for Mondays!

Your wedding photos are wonderful! Such a beautiful place to marry the love of your life and to share it with your dear families and friends (and of course all of us). You both inspire me.

Thanks for that!! 

Kathy (BlueDiamond17)

First off, congratulations! I love you girls, you're amazing.

I had a crush on my TA last year. When she first walked in to the lab looking all cute in her sweats there was just something about her I loved. She taught me how to streak bacteria on plates. Sigh. True story.

 and I've used it on here before.... She's straight get over it. Yes, some ladies are experimental but do you really want that.   It causes tension and its better to have a friend than a person who can't love you in the way you want it to be.

 Now onto the marriage question. new york state recognizes same-sex marriages performed in other states. Are you going to cross the border and go to Ct and get married by the state there?

Friendship follows Fearlessly. Never Blindly. Never Lightly.

Straight girl syndrome haha

I am definately like lacey too, a dreamer and a romantic. i also enjoy a straight girl crush everynow now and then. 

post script Rachel McAdams is a classy bombshell in all senses of the word

in my high school no ones openly gay. so the only option I have is forming crushes on my straight friends. :P i think what makes straight girl crushes so hard is that they like to be touchy-feely and when they hug u for a long time or something, u just wanna stay there xD

and congrats on getting married! u guys r so perfect together :) and rachel mcadams @ the oscars....... OMG o.O

Hi Jessica and Lacey

Congrats on your wedding! And congrats on being out and proud!

Your blog has come at a great time for me. I have always had straight girl crushes and just gotten over them. But lately I have developed an enormous infatuation with a straight girl who is rapidly becoming a best friend for me. She's completely straight and there would be no hope of anything more than friendship between us. But I can't stop thinking about her and am beginning to dislike myself for being unable to control my thoughts and feelings about her.

I have really started thinking of restricting the amount of time I spend with her or just talking to her. That's sad because it will mean our friendship will not develop into the full friendship it probably would have been. But I really want my sanity back.

i had one these things when i was in high school. when high school ended so did the crush..

follow me on twitter@lynnx21

lol the timing of this video was crazy. When I signed onto AfterEllen last night at work.. my current straight girl crush was right next to me. 

Personally, I've had more straight girl crushes than crushes on gay women. It's kind of a problem for me. But I don't mind it.

I'm with Lacey on the floating on cloud 9 aspect of the crush. With a few of my straight girl crushes the only form of contact was eye contact. Some of them I didn't even know her name..

But the majority of them have been on co-workers or classmates or teachers.. and I make it quite obvious.

That's where I agree more with Jessica in the sense that I need to know if she's, at the very least, flattered.. I can't enjoy my straight girl crushes unless I know she thinks I'm beautiful & interesting. Otherwise I might as well crush on a wall. So I tend to push the boundaries and see if I freak her out. And if she's cool with it I become pretty vocal and just have fun with it.

So when I signed onto AE last night and she was right next to me and I read this video's topic, I just wanted to be like, "yea that means you." It's impossible to NOT crush on staight girls. We're already so outnumbered.. so when I meet a woman who is amazingly funny, smart and beautiful.. it's game over for me. There's no stopping me. 

I think as long as we're smart about it and realize nothing will progress long term, the flirting and desiring is sufficient enough for me. The farthest I've ever gone with straight girls is kissing. It's safe and hot. Can't complain.

Also, got to love the straight girl's gay girl crushes. Very fun & flattering.

Lastly, congratulations. The wedding must have been beautiful.  

.......................i cant find lacey on facebook to look at the pics??? how'd you guys find them please??

xxx

I loved watching that vid and what you had to say.

I'm a straight woman who's fallen in love with another straight woman. I told her very quickly that I was in love with her and she said she was open to explore. We met and stayed togther and I totally wanted her, but nothing happend. Neither of us are used to seducing a women, but are used to be seduced by men. And both being straight, we, I, didn't know how to proceed. We both have body issues being older and not in great shape. But we've talked about it a lot and still feel open to see what's there. Unfortunately, life circumstances mean that we can't live near each other or really have a physical affair. But I feel very comfortable sharing my feelings with her and talk to her like a lover all the time, telling her how hot she is, how much I love her and wish we could be together and she writes the same back.

Although not unrequited love, it can't be fulfilled for now. So I guess it's the same.

I love that you said that some straight girls crush on lesbians. That kind of makes me feel just a bit more normal even though my love is for a straight woman. heh

and if i ever liked a girl to then find out she's straight, my attraction to her dissipates... conversely when i find out a girl is gay i get more interested in her... although gay girls are damn RARE!

~ when imperfections come together as perfection ~

I've had my share of straight girl crushes. But seducing said crush is a different story, haha. Let's just say that, "I AM NOT A LESBIAN!" is not the prefered response from a crush, haha.

and yeah! it's totally true that straight girls have girl crushes, sometimes gay girl crushes. I'm not out, but I found out that one of my aquaintances had a crush on me last year, and oddly enough, now I'm reciprocating and I don't know where we stand, haha.

When I play doctor, I play to win.

I definitely had a crush on a straight woman in college.  I mistakenly waited an entire semester for her to turn gay - never happened.  :)

Crushes in general can be fun as long as they are not taken too seriously.  I think eventually you want to talk to the woman you're crushing on or just enjoy it for what it is but don't get too emo or intense about it which is hard to do when you're younger. 

Great advice though from Lacey and Jessica!

A couple of weeks I had an awful experience with a straight girl, when I told her that I was into girls, suddenly she became interested in kissing me,because she never did that, for me she was just curious, confused and with a lot of questions, she told me her desire... but I didnt put attention to it, 'cause I was blocking her for obvious reasons, it wont last and I didnt want to be anybody's experiment. One day we got drunk, she was more than me, and then she was all nervous and stole a kiss from me, I didnt answer it, cause I was like WTF, the kiss was horrible! and then she apologizes and told me it wasnt what she expect it, that she thought she will feel something, but nothing happened, so that made me feel like shit without need, and then she ran away, but I was confused since I had a crush on a straight french girl and she was telling me she was ugly and I was getting even more confused, now she is cold to me and our potential friendship is falling apart... she got back to her ex-boyfriend suddenly, the one that put a hand on her neck last time, and when I asked her why she came back with him after what he did to her, she almost rip my head off, and from that day, she is acting weird, she doesnt call me like before, and she acts like she doesnt care anymore...

I decided for my own sanity to move on and not put my hopes on her, we started very well on the friendship and we connected inmediately, but I dont know what to think...but I know that I cant afford to waste so much time thinking about it or getting distracted by it. :(

Congrats on your wedding! You two are beautiful together!! Great topic... I definitely had my straight girl crush in high school... *sigh* she was beautiful, but yes had to do the distance thing and graduating high school and going to different schools helped too! Damn love me some Rachel McAdams....  

---ALL THAT WE ARE IS THE RESULT OF WHAT WE THOUGHT---

Like Jessica my straight girl crush is now my bestfriend.

We were bestfriends for a good 6 months before I realised that I was totally in love with her. But when she raised that people thought we were lesbians and was angry and defensive. I honestly thought I was straight. She seemed far more open to the idea... maybe if I hadn't been sorting through my own issues. At the time she said she was bisexual. Within a few weeks are her telling me, I knew I actually was in love. In many ways I think she was too, we'd sit very close, and spent all our time together, slept in the same bed. But it was a passing thing for her... and she met a guy, and another guy. It never worked out but everytime i was there, as her bestfriend. 2 years of this... and I still thought I was straight... but in love with her. Crazy the way the brain works. Anyway I went travelling, I basically flew over to Europe early so i could be there for her birthday... and we travelled together. She hooked up with guys and I just had to put some distance between us... literally. So i went off to Easter Europe.. and when I came back to visit her in France... we finally kissed one night out. And that was it for me, it was closure finally. Cause she had a boyfriend. 

She was a girl flirt notoriously... when I came back to Australia I came out to her ex-boyfriend, one of my best friends. And fell finally for another girl. That didn't work out... and then this girl fell for my bestfriend... *cough* wonder how that happened? And my bestfriend told her she was straight... after they kissed. And that girl.... is my current girlfriend!! haha Who i absolutely love and couldn't bare to be without. The moral of the story, go for the gay girls, its way tooo heart breaking being in love with the straight ones. Don't torture yourself .

First congrats Jessica and Lacey on the wedding! It's always a magical thing when two people find each other.

My question though is what do you do when you can't distance yourself from your 'crush' or in my case the feelings are a lot stronger than a crush? I know that if i could i would be able to slowly get over her (though she'll always have a part of my heart), but due to the fact that we see each other everyday I know I can't let go and just a smile from her sucks me in everytime

First things first, Congrats ladies, what a lovely couple. I am sort of jealous though; kinda thought someday I could make Lacey my wifey, lol.  

Okay, great vlog since this topic comes up on AE with perturbing frequency.  Seriously, there should be a quota or better yet a moratorium on straight girl queries, haha.  I must be the only lesbian who cannot quite fathom the straight girl mystique.  Seriously, I have never had a straight girl crush.  Straight girls are just usually lacking that..oomph, that je ne sais quoi.  Don't get me wrong, some lesbians lack it too, but the lesbians or bisexuals I usually go for have it.  As proof, of the three "straight" girl crushes I've had to date, all turned out to be bi (thank you Facebook) and one turned out to be my ex.  I don't know, I guess I'm just attracted to gay women. And as Jessica so wisely stated, sometimes when the crush is going nowhere, you just have to move it along.