Cherry Bomb: "The One"

Ok I heard that Cathy DeBuono was going to be on Cherry Bomb so I cruised right on over here cuz I love me some DeBuono and her webseries with Jill Bennett is sick.  Truly, check it out.  http://www.wehavetostopnow.tv/wehavetostopnow/New_Episodes.html

The one?  I don't think there is such a thing....just hang out with the one you're happy with now.

Also, just a suggestion, when you girls have a guest on, you should let them talk...I was super interested in what Cathy had to say, but she didnt' get much of chance to say it.   

First of, I don’t comment often on AE, but I wanted to let you know, I really enjoy CherryBomb! Especially this season, you have been tackling a lot of interesting subject and it’s great to have so many different opinions (especially since you manage not let things escalate when you don’t agree). It’s very refreshing! 

Also, I don’t like the term “THE ONE”. I prefer to refer to someone as my person. I do believe there is people that are just right for each one of us and the best one are the one who grow with us. I think it also depends on your view on relationship. Someone who doesn’t believe in monogamy probably won’t see the “the one” idea the same way as someone who believe in monogamy. Personally, I think I’m really lucky and I’ve found my person. I know I’m fairly young (21) but we have known each other for over 5 years, dating for a little over one year now, and so far,we just keep growing and evolving together. I’m aware with our age it’s possible it doesn’t work in the long run, but so far we both put as much as we can and we communicate great and well, I have a great gut feeling about it. I have to say, I’m sometimes a bit irked at how a lot of people don’t take us seriously because of our age. I understand where they are coming from, but it does happen that young people stay together for a very long time and are happy.

I also wanted to mention to Dalila, in the last episode about instincts, that I had asimilar problem with the “unavailable” people. The way you phrased it really helped me close my door fully on it. My current girlfriend is the healthy oppositeof the “unavailable” and she makes me so much more happier and fuller. So thank you to all you ladies for speaking so openly about such personal matters! 

Edited for typos 

I like this topic and guest very much. I have been a fan of Cathy for several years, ever since she used to have a vlog here. I have always found her compasionate and intelligent (and funny)

I liked her point of view here. I actually appreciated everyone's views. I don't think it is a black and white topic. There are as many answers as there are people so I guess the trick is to find someone who believes, essentially, as you do.

I will definitely keep tuning in for these shows, they are interesting and pretty funny. Thanks ladies.

Cathy and Jill Bennett will be in attendance at the showing of We Have to Stop Now as well as the women's party, "Sugar," that takes place on Saturday October 17th.  They will also be available for questions after the screening of And Then Came Lola on Sunday October 18th. 

Check out our website for other great women's movies and more festival information:

www.cliptampabay.com 

couldn't help but lol at Nikki's comment.. ! It sounded like something I would say! (about my own father sadly). I loved this episode by the way, keep them coming :)

This is the first time I've watched Cherry Bomb but I had to come and support Cathy. 

I don't think I believe in the idea of "the one" or soul mates, because that would mean that your mental and spiritual self doesn't evolve and that you are perfectly matched to another soul who also doesn't evolve.  Very rare and very sad if that does happen.  

Cathy, love We Have To Stop Now and The Gloves are Off.  Keep up the good work.  

i've really been enjoying cherry bomb lately.

 great episode!

The one is the person I wanna continuously make happy because I know she/he wants to continuously make me happy... Even tho we fight disagree, feelings change, people change, surroundings change, circumstances change, we change.  As long as I wanna make you happy and I trust you wanna do the same for me... You're the one, the one for life, or the one right now, whichever you prefer ;o)

"The Beloved is not always Loveable"

My subject line says it all. I think given Cathy's psychology background, this was the perfect topic to discuss. The minute my phone let me know CDB was a guest, I ran right over and pressed play.

Can't wait for Tampa to see Lola and 're-see' WHTSN. Should be a blast!

yes.  Nothin' like a lil' Mary J. at 8am.  :)  Anyway.  I loved this episode.  I agree with Gloria.  I think 'The One' is based on an individuals perception of how significant someone else is in their life.  It's entirely possible to commit to in a "Ok.  This is it.  There is no one else for me.  We're in it for life."  kinda way. 

"Your version of 'The One' should keep changing." - Tatum

I totally agree with this statement.  Considering the fact that we grow and experience things that alters our views on the world, relationships, etc.; it's inevitable that we will alter our perception of what that person should be. 

However.  I believe that 'The One' will not necessarily be the ideal mate that has all the characteristics I listed in on my life partner wish list.  I believe she will be someone I can look to and say "I can see all that is good in me ... through you.  I believe in you as I do myself."  and know that the feeling is mutual. 

Keep up the great work ladies!!

"Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don't matter
and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss

But I enjoyed watching you ladies discuss this topic.  Nice to see Cathy D back and visiting us again. I,too, enjoyed WHTN.  

=)

LK 

I don't believe that there's the one who is a magical person that fits with you perfectly and there's never gonna be problems...a person who makes your live better somehow... I think we just have the wrong perception of what the one has to fulfill...

For me, Tatum and Cathy had the best points. There is no "one" if you don't a) connect with yourself, know that you can be on your own, have friends and make your life beautiful yourself (cause your partner won't save or distract you enough...and it's not the job of the other person to give your life a reason) and b) are not willing to work on a relationship. A person can still be the one, if there's drama and fights. But I think most people just back off too soon...

Then she broke me heart...ouch ..:o She was my first relationship (not my first girl I've been with), we met when I was 22 and she was 24, we got together for 8.5 yrs. She has done a great job debunking my theory of "The One and only "....Awww sucks ...but I'll always love her regardless. I think Cathy's mum is lucky to found "the one". As for the rest of us, well we don't always get the first one right LOL We are human after all and we are prone to make mistake ;) The one for me was not about the perfect fits. The one was about the one who loves you as who you are with all your flaws - where you feel comfortable to be who you are. And, even if there is differences and arguments, the love bond will give faith that they'll overcome this together.

My break is still fairly recent, so I am testing my second theory that if she was my soul mate then she will come back :) I can't wait until the universe release "The One V.2" for me lol ...let's hope the new version is better and much improved haha.

So funny when tatum share her story esp the part where she says she had no one to be bi with haha... then goes straight, bi, straight,straight,straight,straight,bi,bi and voila now I am gay! hehe so cute. Tatum if you read this...I would so be bi with you...if only I knew you then! LOL

I love it, well done ladies :)   

I adore Cherry Bomb and I do love We Have to Stop Now. It is really funny. I can't wait to see season 2. I thought the one didn't exist for a while and believe that I would never be in a single person relationship until I met my ONE- I met her when I was 25 and she is the only one I personally have ever stayed true with. She also feels I am the ONE for her so I couldn't be happier-In a million years I never thought I would meet her, but the different choices I made in my life, good or bad led me to my one and only her. 

As far as everyone else finding their one...I don't know...cause I didn't believe in such a thing till her.

In the reality of many realities, how we see what we see, affects the quality of our reality- John Trudell

So....I couldn't get what you ladies think about "the one" after all....you didn't even agree with the definition of it. So as someone said, I'd appreciate the sequel! Cathy was a nice guest. Her advice to the 15 year-old was spot on, I thought.

As a person who's never had a requited romantic relationship, the idea of the one, the soulmate, is irresistibly appealing, but I also have lived long enough to understand that there's no such thing as one-fits-all. I'm a foreigner in the land, so friends are all I can have, but it takes very long to develop friendships.... Finally, I'm surrounded by a number of nice women from my church and they are good friends of mine. I do things with them, talk about my problems/challenges and, importantly for me, fellowship with them. It is in a way a very satisfying relationship, and our friendship will likely develop. It seems as if they, a group of women, are becoming a corporate parter of mine and I wonder if this is it..... If so, why am I so captivated whenever I see two women being in "love" in movies or in real life?

This episode made my day! I loved this topic; i personally do not believe in "The One", but big-ups to those who do...

"Close your legs, bitch; i can see your Spanx!"

I find myself agreeing with Tatum in most episodes, maybe it's the European in me, I don't know.

I don't believe there is a person for everyone. There are so many reasons to stay single, by choice or not, that I quite frankly find the idea of a person being disconnected from themselves when they don't find a life partner a bit offensive. Now it's perhaps the cynic in me speaking but the idea that I have to find someone else to somehow be complete, absurd. I don't believe in "the one", and I would be quite fine being on my own if I didn't find someone that I felt would be right for me and who could contribute to my life in a positive way.

The chance of finding someone special is better for people who focus on love as one of the more important aspects in life and for those who fall easily in love. Also there are people who have a better chance in finding a partner than others, either because of their personality, their looks or merely by chance. The idea that there is someone for everyone is very sweet, and it would be nice to believe in it, but to me it appears to be an idea to hold on to in order to ensure ourselves that everything is going to be alright. I need to know that I'm alright on my own before I start focusing on anyone else.

Thinking that someone who is in a long term relationship is more in touch with herself than someone who is single for life makes no sense at all. In some cases of course this is the case, but you're making an absurd generalisation. I have friends who are in relationships who are seriously lost, they might have found a partner for life, but have no idea of who they are without someone else "completing" them. I also have friends who know exactly what they want and who they are, but who for various reasons are single. Love is a luxury, falling in love, deeply in love, doesn't happen to everyone. People settle, and quite happily so. Some people don't settle, and don't find "the one" but are still happy and in touch with themselves. "The one" is not necessarily a fairytale, but it's not something everyone will encounter.

Then again the concept of "the one" is not really defined in this episode.

Having said that, I would like to say that I follow your vlog every week, and that it continues to enlighten me on issues I know little about. And I actually really appreciate you being hopeless romantics. As long as your kind out number cynics such as myself we'll all be happier.

Oh, and, Nikki, I really don't have trust in the universe. The universe owes me nothing.

Thank you guys so much for answering my question. I've been really debating what I was going to do and it's nice to have other opinions. Though I do disagree a bit with some of the things said I can understand why it was said. So thank you guys for taking the time to answer my question.

And I'm no longer a freshman lol, so I have had some time to think since I submited this question but it's still been weighing heavy on my mind. So grazie mille all ^^

I totally agree _ there's no one person for anybody - there is that one person whos right for you at one right time_ Everbody grows - EVERYONE! 

Even You -  

Great vlog!

Kathy is fabulous! 

Okay, I loved Cathy's answer to that question. She rocks. She couldn't be any cooler.

Okay, I loved Cathy's answer to that question. She rocks. She couldn't be any cooler.