Cherry Bomb: "First Girl Ever"

The first girl I was with was a girl I met in college. She had serious emotional issues...I should have ran far away but since I was desperate to have my first relationship with a girl so I went ahead with it. Needless to say it didn't turn out well...

I would never be anyone's experiment though so getting with girls who aren't sure about their sexuality- not happening! But I would give the greenlight to girls who are sure about their sexuality and I just happened to be their first.

O and Tatum- great story! 

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ok, ehm, I am dating a 40 year old woman and I(21) am her first woman. Before she had a lot of short lived relationships with men, but never something really serious. She identifies as bisexual now. It is hard for me. There is a great attraction between us both, and when we talk it's like there is no age difference at all, but she goes back and forth all the time("lets just be friends"). It's like one step forward two steps back. She worries a lot, especially because she has a son (14). She doesn't want to come out to him because she thinks it will mess up his life, but I think he saw through it from the beginning and he doesn't seem to have a problem with me or "it" (I could be wrong though, I just suspect that he sees through it...)  

It sounds insane but it just happens... neither of us seems to be able to hold back.

I am not really sure if she just wants to experiment or if she really wants to be with me, to me however, the extra attention feels good and we have a good time together. She showed me a lot of things and has helped me with my self confidence, I have been showing her a different side of love, and a different view on life.

If she gets her act together, maybe we could make it work, but I think only time can tell. BTW she is not my sugar mama or anything. I am independent and so is she. And this is the first time I'm dating a that-much-older-woman and the first time I'm in something evolved-and-their-first...

girl, 21, charming but insane...

That is no fair.

I have not dated or been in a relationship with a female yet.

How Daliah had described how she was for her first relationship is how I feel. Also I had my first and only relationship with my ex-boyfriend two years ago.  I knew I was not attracted to him so I ended it as well as giving myself time to reflect and learn on my own of my attraction toward females. I am ready to commit, I definitely do not have a thought of experimenting or anything similar. I have already told my immediate family (parents, siblings) and friends as well as posting on my facebook and myspace, I am attracted to females.

I just have not met an individual who has been constantly interested in me (or vice versa) to date either long distance or (especially) local. I will continue to wait, I am in no rush.

Interesting banter for this topic. Gloria's expressions made me laugh throughout this segment. It certainly gave insight and provided conformation on how I thought girls with experience felt about girls such as myself; those who haven't yet made love to a woman. Not all girls who are inexperienced are like that though, I don't view it as my segue, or something that I can brag about. I am sure of my feelings for women; I have been "on the scene" for a little over a year, yes I'm a baby dyke lol but I have never been interested in playing games or drunken hook ups. I have come across girls that are so turned on by the fact that I haven't been with a girl that they were ready to rip my clothes off, those that I think didn't want the pressures of being anyone's first, and then others that just did not have themselves together. When it happens, I want there to be a beautiful, intimate connection with the other person. Having my first experience is really deep, almost spiritual for me. Sigh. 

I stepped out and looked back i was still in the same four corners of my past. Trapped in my own solitary realm of confinement where passion lies underneath the earth hopefully to grow its twig and bloom.

I see you in my dreams and vanish in reality once i opened up my eyes to see it clearly you're not really with me. I wish i could remain sleeping and my eyes closed so that i could always be with you even in my dreams, but i have to wake up and snap out of it.

I danced to freedom and laugh in the rain i walked down the aisle of commitment but still... my heart lies within your hands... maybe if you could return it then i can finally go ahead and move on...

whatever i say it doesn't matter to you coz who am i... you don't have time for drama and you don't have time for love you just want one thing and one direction
but i want to be in the loop, i want to have the swirly bits of your moods

it's a pocketful of hope that maybe someday you'll realize how much i love you despite the fact that you remain as the shadow of a stranger to me....

five long years of struggling to get you off my heart... but i never stopped loving you... even for a single minute of my life...

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it's been six years and i can't get over her. been through two relationships after her but still... i'm stucked. she already erased her email--which is the only thing that i can communicate with her. guess this is the end of the road. 

I don't really think it comes down to how many ladies a person has been with as to whether someone is a person to settle down with.  I think it has everything to do with mutual respect and attraction.  If someone respects you, it doesn't matter how many women they have been with, at least not for me.  That being said, I used to joke that my middle name should be Training Wheels. 

Example, I've been 3 womens first in my life.  One had other mental issues and was using me as an escape from various things and was not as invested as I was and so heartbreak happened like it sometimes does.  The second girl had just gotten out of a serious relationship and so I was again more invested then she was.  The third is my significant other, and she showed me early on/told me later that she never wanted me to feel like I had to gingerly guide her along the path through Gayland, and we have a great relationship.  

Bottomline:  It doesn't matter how many women your partner has slept with, it matters if they are honest with themselves and you regarding what they want and respect you...and that you're compatible in various other matters as well ;-)

You have a great vlog going here ladies, keep up the good work.

Now she's somewhere resentful with two kids blahahhaah!

i love this show.

Let's get one thing straight, I'm not.

I can't believe no one laughed out loud when Nikki was talking about STD's. I cracked when she said comunicate. *grins*

Also I have to admit I want to make a business card that simply says "Lesbian" so i can pull it out and hand it to people and say that I'm a card carrying lesbian. 

I seem to only date first timers. Maybe this is self destructive or self protecting, I don't know. Sometimes it's weird, but most of the time it's really fun and chill. I don't find much "breaking in" necessary. If she is a sexually free person, she has no fear really and it can be awesome immediately.

Does anyone else think Tatum talks too much?

"i'm totally lesbo"

i really liked that LOL 

and yeah , i love the idea too of being someone's first 

It's a total different world when you're in your 30s and you thinking about your future.  You want to have a family.  When you're in your thrirties you're pretty much looking at finding your life partner. You're at a different viewpoint.

I think as long as the person is wanting to establish a committed relationship and understand thoruoghly you're looking at LTR committed relationship or marriage not a one- stand or someone's experiment I think it is ok.  It comes with the maturity territory.  So don't feel offended if someone turns you down b/c you're not experienced enough.  See it from their perspective too. You can persuade them. Woo them  if you got some darn good charming skills. If you win them over. I'll say you're the womyn.

There is another side to the issue of being someone's first that I didn't hear addressed; it's also the situation that I happen to be in. I came out five years ago, in high school. It was a relatively painless transition. I got involved with the GSA and have had plenty of time to come to terms with my orientation. I haven't, however, had sex with anyone. I've dated a bit, but growing up in a small town, albeit a gay-friendly one, means that I haven't had the kinds of romantic opportunities people from more heavily populated areas have. I'm also quite shy and not terribly social beyond my little circle of friends, which certainly doesn't help much.

The only first-timers addressed in this episode were, as far as I could tell, also recently out. Thus their anxiety at losing their gay virginity was made worse by having to adjust to the gay world and all it's complexities. My question is, what happens when your first is someone who is sexually inexperienced, but perfectly comfortable with who they are and with their place in the world?

I think there's a difference between people who are just trying new things or just coming out, and those who've had their coming-out - without the experience - and know who they are and what they want.

and wether you want to have casual hook-ups or a serious relationship, it's always gonna be about communication. my opinion is that as long as all of the persons involved in something know what they're dealing with it's fine. and again, that has nothing to do with experience. the communication between my girlfriend (highly experienced) and me (ehm...poorly experienced) has always been better than the communication between two friends of ours (both rather experienced) who have, after 9 months, not managed to reach a point where both of them are happy and satisfied with the situation/"relationship".