Cherry Bomb: "The Gay and Lesbian Divide"

This was a really interesting episode. I really loved Jason Stuart, sometimes when you only see someone as a flaboyant character you miss the gentle, wise soul that they are and I really felt that with Jason, he is so interestng.

There was an article in DIVA magazine about this very topic, about why Gay men and Lesbian Women don't often interact and one of the reasons was because of the sterotyping that we do in our own community. I.E Lesbian women beliveing that Gay men are often as Gloria said 'too queney' and Gay men having a negative view on lesbians.

It reminds me of the scene in Milk when Annie joins the boys on the campagin.

I like that there is a mix of people, because I find it easier to talk to guys because I am a geek and tend to be tongue tied around women and it's always my gay boy friends who will encourage me to talk to her or offer to talk to her for me.

I think that when we realize we are much stronger together then we will be an even more potent force as a community. 

 I'm at home dying w/ Laughter.  Hilarious episode for such a spot on topic. 

twitter me @ www.twitter.com/brownskinfaery

I like when Cherry Bomb can be both informative and funny. Dalila's facial expressions were hilarious. And was it just me or did Tatum use just a tad bit more hand movements than normal!!?? lol I was getting dizzy for a moment. 

~~~L~~~

There might be a financial divide, but thats not a Gay Girl V Girl Boy thing. Thats just a GIRL V BOY thing.. (regardless of sexuality).

When you say 'Gay' or think of the word 'Gay'.. or the meaning of the word 'Gay'... most people's thoughts.. (though obviously not all).. will turn directy to that of 'Men'.

Gay women are only thought of when you refer to them specifically as Lesbians... and (for me personally)... thats part of where the divide comes from. People (not just straight people)... automatically have the thought that gay = men, and only lesbian properly describes women. And so any subject matter on a public forum i.e radio, tv and other media etc where the issues of being 'gay' are being discussed... its always 'men' that the talking points will be catered for most, and then women afterwards! I see it all the time on tv when a 'gay topic' comes up and men are the first people to be considered in the 'gay subject matter' unless the topic is specifically geared towards women.. by having 'lesbian in the title'.

I don't know if its completely accurate, but gay men seem to be the majority in the homosexual world and women the minority in terms of numbers. And therefore the media markets more towards men.. (and sometimes not anywhere near to the same extent/or effort as women).. because women are seen as the lesser number to reach out to.., whereas gay men are seen as a plentiful group to advertise things to.. and hold events for. In shops the gay men section is always bigger than the 'lesbian' section, and there are probably more exlusively gay men bars around than exclusively gay women ones as well... (as seperate to the mixed gender gay bars).

Obviously I don't know if there actually are more gay men in the world than women, but certainly gay men get more attention than women in the media as well as real life also. In the media alone, far more gay men personalities than women ones. And in real life, I have to go searching for gay women related things, whereas male ones are very easy to come upon.

I don't have any close gay male or female friends.. but have had aquaintances from my time at Uni and just generally in life etc, and have found some to be nice and some to be not so nice. Some fit the visual stereotyope and some don't, and I haven't found gay guys to be nicer or more interesting that gay girls, or vice versa. And fashion wise, its actually the gay women that have stood out to me more than gay men.. (who are stereotypically meant to be the better dressers and lookers). I haven't been in and around gay people generally enough in a social setting to know what those differences are regarding close ineraction etc but on the surface, the gay girl v gay boy divide in my taking is as how I've described above.. (and is almost a hetero view point, strangely enough). Deeper in though, I don't know what those divides are?

thank you! this was inspirational.

I'm about to meet a very good friend of mine who happens to be a gay guy, and we've been planning on working/writing together for quite some time now. I think that that'd be really interesting and that we could learn from each other and  complement each other, because we are diverse.

then again, I've often found that we are upset about the same issues, like for example the "straight acting is for sissies" thing which seems to be big in the gay community, and which I've found to be an issue in the lesbian community as well (take those lesbians who just want to be with a "feminine woman" and not with someone who "looks like a lesbian/man").

there are differences, of course - and there are women I know who aren't interested in gay men at all, but I think that we really are stronger if we work together.

and when I see my gay boy, hopefully tomorrow, I'm gonna run around holdin his hand.

There are always going to be divides in any society but I really dont think there is a mass divide of gay men and lesbians. Especially amongst the younger generation there seems to be much more mingling and co-existing going on than in my generation of growing up. Having worked in offices, the best synergy seems to come about when there is a mix of men and women in the room. We may attack an issue from a slightly different vantage point based on our expereiences. But in the end we are all human.

I've had similar discussions with my gay friends, and it's nice to hear what y'all had to say about it. Jason Stuart is hilarious, and very sensible.

Thanks for sharing!

_ _ _ _ _

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." (Dr. Seuss)

even in the younger LGBTQ community, i see these sort of stereotypes and generalizations dividing the gays and the lesbians for various reasons, most of which were discussed in this episode.

thanks for shedding light on something that is right under our noses, but that is easily and often forgotten about in the grand scheme of LGBTQ issues.

I think there is a statistic that floats around that 10% of men are gay and only 2% of women are gay. 

I am not sure where is came from (maybe Kinsey?) but i think that is why marketers market more to gay men, as not only do they on average tend to earn more but there are more of them.

I agree with Tatum, separate spaces are ok... but i guess there are more issues in the Queer community that are often overlooked, like trans issues, and gender diversity.  

Sexism in the queer community definitely exists. 

I am also trying to incorporate more vegan and vegetarian dishes into my diet. Im eating more grains and less meat.

Bottom line to me is this.

If I want to party with "gay boys", I will go where they are. But to spend thousands of dollars to go to an OBVIOUSLY LESBIAN EVENT, ie, Dinah or on a Sweet cruise, and see men there would PISS ME OFF TO NO AVAIL! There is a time and a place for everything, and at CLEARLY LESBIAN EVENTS, not only should men NOT BE WELCOMED, but they should understand that and be respectful enough to say to themselves, "this isn't my scene so I won't attend!"

From looking at the pictures posted about the Sweet cruise, not only were men there, but they were ACTIVE PARTICIPANTS. And that included being a part of the "wet t-shirt contest!" WHY??

If I had spent that kind of money, THOUSANDS, and seen men there, that would have ruined the trip for me. And now that I know Sweet welcomes men, I will be cruising with Olivia! If I want to be around "Lesbian Energy", that is what I want to be around - LESBIAN ENERGY! Not Lesbian and gay boy energy. 

I find it interesting that you are taking a stand about "cruising" together like if we did, that would solve everything. That isn't nearly the case! And I find it even more interesting that you are throwing the word "discrimination" around like a frisbee. Have you ever heard of "restricted countryclubs????????"

Lesbians have ALWAYS supported gay men and have not gotten the same support in return. How many GAY MEN have you seen walking in the Susan G Komen Walk for Cancer? How many LESBIANS have you seen during the AIDS WALKS? We have disportionately supported Gay Men and have not shared in the same support from them.

Did you not see this vlog? Jason clearly stated the same thing that I am saying. That there is a time and a place for us to be together. But yeah, we should be allowed to be just by ourselves. As I said in an earlier post, there is a time and a place for everything. And as LESBIANS, we should be able to be amongst ourselves, PERIOD!!!!!!

If you want to take your gay male friend on a LESBIAN CRUISE, feel free to do just that. But don't compare Olivia wanting to give LESBIANS a TRUE LESBIAN VACATION with YOUR version of separatism. Because as another poster/Sloane so correctly stated, some gay men are as misogynistic as straight men are. Are you aware of the fact that there are already cruises that carter to both Lesbians and Gays to cruise together?  You have the whole world to hang with your "gay male friend" but you would rather possibly ruin someone's vacation by bringing him on a LESBIAN CRUISE? WOW, that's deep!!!!

You sound young and idealistic which is fine. But don't make up scenerios about discrimination on a cruise like you're Norma Rae. Our real fight is against people like carrie prejean, the mormon church, and the religious right. Not LESBIANS wanting to spend ONE WEEK with other LESBIANS. 

Thanks for the episode, it was too funny. You guys are great!

I have a gay brother and we have often discussed our differences between male and female gay community experience. We came up with a couple of first hand generalizations;

1.       Sex, men think more about sex and seek it more avidly.  Say two single gays (man  and woman) both are social and like to go out to dance parties and social events.  If you could count in a month, how many more partners the average gay man may have compared to the woman. I would guestimate that boys would win 90% of the time.  If I look on a gay mans phone/web  he usually has many gay related sites, pick up sites, porn sites, informative site etc. Where as most lesbians I know couldn’t even name a lesbian site, nor use one regularly. ( Does anyone know the comparative numbers of web visitors between afterellen and afterelton?)

2.        Commercialization of Sex = Money. Sex sells and the gay mans community have a variety of large groups that have sex as their primary purpose of unity. Women have many groups with a primary purpose of unity such as sport, veganism, sex, femme girls, butch girls, drag kings and so on. However, I don’t believe there is great mass of one group in the lesbian community; it is more spread out of many smaller groups. Whereas the gay man community while being diverse has a great number of men who unify around sex and sex sells really well.

I don’t know if there are studies on this but it seems to be naturally and statistically unbalanced that there are more gay men than women ?

More marketing and attention given to the boys, creates what can seem an unfair focus on the boys than the girls. Mixing is great as my brother and I hang out with our friends, but when it comes to mixed social events boys outweigh the girls 9 times out 10. Which I think creates a need for some chick only events …..

I'm catching up on my Cherry Bomb episodes this weekend and this has to be the funniest episode, EVER!!  I hollered the whole show! Lol 

I'm w/ Glo (I'm loving the locs, by the by!!) when it comes to loving gay boys and all that they do!! 

My best friend passed away this fall and I have to say the relationship we had was so complicated in the eyes of the outside world.  But to find a wonderful, kind, fabulous, no holds bar gay man is a priceless gift.  He just so happened to be my first/only boyfriend a decade ago and I would have never imagined that what we'd have years down the line would be so much more deeper and fulfilling.

Anywho, keep up the good work, Ladies!

Be blessed!

 BFF's Forever: Myself and My Love, Jonathan (05/31/1980-09/07/2009)

I think media-wise you will definitely see the HUGE divide between lesbians and gay men, especially that most affluent homosexual media personnels at the end of the day are, well men. So i'm not suprised everytime I see a show that is mainly populated by gay men to be a little misogynist and discriminatory toward lesbians. (all the stereotypes about the frumpiness, the attire, the mannish attitude, etc)

But in everyday life, I think the divide is sorta less, especially that we're both in the same situation. but lets face it, at the end of the day this is a man's world (well, still anyways in my point of view) and whether alot of men like to deny it, they are conditioned and reared in the world to be sorta sexist. while some men will challenge that theory by being wholly supportive of women and gay women specifically, there are lots of gay men out there that still dont see us as equals.

The gay men I knew in my life (the few I came upon) are decent people that dont discriminate in anyway, but I'm sure in some dark part of their mind, they still think their homosexuality is more valid than ours.

For some odd reason when I saw the name Jason Stuart, I read it as Jon Stewart, and almost squealed with glee and scared the shit out of my colleague.

wishful thinking I gues, oh well, Jason was funny enough too.

and I gotta agree with him, I get 50% of my cleavage dosage from Cherry Bomb. *snickers*