Love the Ladys and thier Vlog.  

Tristen

LGBT ITEMS     http://www.zazzle.com/tristen12

I heart how you ladies talk about all this stuff that I am always wondering about.

I dated someone who wasn't out once, and I am never doing that again.  

As far as I am concerned, 100 % top or bottom can never be a good thing.

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-Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

Who doesn't blog these days?

You ladies are awesome!!!!

I to can acheive the "BIG O" while "giving"!!! Especially in a submissive position (...please feel free to use your imagination). 

POWER TO THE SUBMISSIVES!!!!

You ladies keep me comin'...

back to you blog! I do love your chemistry, atmosphere, intelligence, & candid approach.

KEEP IT COMIN'!!!   YES, YES, ...YES, YES, ...YES!!!!!!!!!!      AAAAAHHHHHH!!!

I dated a girl that was 100% in the closet and I was the "room mate" It was actually what killed the relationship in the end. I am in a relationship now where we are both fully out. I too can't live without the PDA, and would never date someone closeted again.

My girlfriend can also 'get it all' while giving, but thankfully she isn't 100% a top. She likes being dominant but also loves it when I switch it up and ... I really need to stop thinking about this at work before my face gets all flushed and my boss walks in.

Great Vlog ladies!

I am so glad you lades are talking about this. To add to the discussion. I truly believe there is a masculine and feminine spirit spectrum embodied among people. I have seen very girly womyn (desire of outer appearance) have a very dominant spirit. Dominant doesn't mean masculine to me. It can mean feminine too. I think there is a rainbow spectrum of  both gender flexibility and  of masculine and feminine spirit.

I have to agree with Gloria about her female preference. I'm with her all the way.

I  want to hear a discussion about dating straight womyn from you ladies especially from Nikki.

Bigelow, you a Mac geek? Because that's awesome.

Love the show, but curious: where is it supposed to air BESIDES online? They keep saying "our online viewers" and "if you're just tuning in," but you can't tune in to the middle of a vlog. (I mean, you could scroll forward, but still, not standard practice.)

Intelligent and witty conversation, what more could you ask for. I wish this Vlog was on twice a week.

I agree that I prefer versatility. I love the fact that after seven years with my GF she can still surprise me. I don't think I would like a stone butch or a pillow queen but I agree that sometimes people need to feel safe in a loving relationship before they can feel vulnerable. 

As for being out. I really don't know. My present GF was my first so we were both in the closet and came out together so I didn't feel I needed to pressure her to come out as she wasn't pressurizing me. It's definitely much nicer being out because there is a lot more freedom but if I was with a GF who wasn't out I wouldn't expect her to come out for me. However, I would always use the my space rule that is, in my house I am out and proud. I'm not going to pretend we sleep in different bedrooms and I'm not going to stay 5ft away from my GF at all times because she's brought someone home who doesn't know she is Gay.  

There are to many rules in life and for that matter to many laws. I do what makes me happy; period. I don't ask for permission nor guidance. No disrepect intended.  Ladies I love women.  If I'm attracted to you I go for broke. Top ,bottom , left or right  or even military style bring it on.  If your in or out I don't care. I'm  into, as Janet Jackson proclaimed "The Pleasure Principle." Give me a straight , gay , bisexual whatever, if she gets my attention it's over she is mine.  Love can not be categorized, explained or even understood.  I'm a lover of love.

"Do your own thing!!!!!"

Best.vlog!

I have to admit, Cherry Bomb has quickly become my absolute favorite vlog on this site. I can't wait for a new episode and the discussions are so engaging and fun and informative.

Stone butch I'd heard about before but pillow princess was a new one for me :D

I find that any kind of "I'm a 100%..." is pretty uncommon. Sometimes I feel more top-y and sometimes I feel more bottom-y. It depends on my mood and the person I'm with. Or the situation. Like, if it's a hookup, I'm usually the bottom, but if I'm in a relationship, I can be the top sometimes. Either way, it's allllll gooood :D

coming from a girl who has all straight friends, its so nice to see something like this.  Real lesbians talking about real issues and real things that I want to talk about but just don't have the opportunity to.  I genuinely enjoy your vlog and look forward to much more from all of you! :) thank you for letting us into your world for a little each week!

I Love this vlog and the issues you discuss always end up relating to me somehow, i used to date a girl in the closet, she was actually straight and it was hard for her to accept being in a relationship with somebody of the same sex, but i wasn't out to my parents just close friends so the whole pda thing didn't bother me, but our relationship was hardley acknowledged when we were out at a resturant or clubs that weren't exclussively for gay people, so guys used to hit on her and she never said she had a girlfriend where as i did. But we dated for about 7month but it ended because we wanted different things and she wanted to lead the straight lifestyle, but i don't think dating someone in the closet is a bad thing aslong as your in that place too. I don't think i could do it now though after i know what it's like being with someone who is so deep in the closet she might as well be in narnia!

 Keep up the awesome topics

I really enjoy this blog. Thanks ladies.

i have a feeling there are a lot of good outtakes from that one...

great vlog, lots of energy and keep me watching without just listening and reading other webpages like I often do.

ate a bowl of fresh cherries as I watched, is that rude?

ps. -- on holding out, i have in the past waited several months to get to know someone before hooking up with them.  guess im still old skool. i do like to 'date' first for a while.

unless there is a trashy bottle of champagne and a girls name I won't remember the next day. then its all 'fools rush in' the pre-quel 

You guys are fantastic. I tune in each week to hear your great discussions. 

I'm glad you guys touched on the being out issue. It's tough to be out and about especially when you deal with cultural issues whether you are white, black, hispanic, indian, etc. As an Indian American I know that with the cultural mentalities that my parents have it will be something that could never accept. So coming out for me has to be strategized in a way. I'm out to all my close friend and sisters. I don't think I will officially feel like I'm out until I tell my parents though. I've made a promise that once I'm in a serous enough relationship that I will tell my parents, not only for myself but for the respect of the person I am with and my relationship with them. I owe them at least that. Until then I know that I still have to learn to be comfortable in my own skin.

Thank you for doing what you do. Keep it going ladies! 

...where i live we hardly ever use the word "stone butch" to describe masculine women, we always say "dom" or "stud". i know a million of "stone butch/doms/studs" and from what they tell me, the reason they don't "receive" is because their [*whisper] "special place" is the only real part of them that cannot be readily disguised. If they were to let anyone, especially another woman, "canvas the area" (so to speak) they feel exposed and less comfortable in their proverbial skin. Of course that's not all "stone butches", some women just enjoy pleasuring others; making whomever their with orgasm may be just as sexually gratifying to them as anything else so maybe reciprocation isn't as important to them as it is to others.

-Thane

Check out the hottest new up-and-coming artist, Mess F - www.messf.com

This is my new favorite vlog (sorry Bridget), but it's not long enough.

For me, it's all about vulnerabilty and emotional availability.  I could never be with someone who was closed off to me.

Great discussion!

I thought this was a very good discussion this week. It is a very interesting notion that more masculine woman are behaving in a feminine manner when they withhold their goodies. lol

It's funny that there seems to be so many rules to lesbian dating and sex. Its all so complicated. just when you think you know ...you have no idea

I,m not out because I think I have to tell my parents first. Sometimes I think they get the idea but are too afraid to ask. In any case, I'm sick of kepping to myself. I have a girlfriend and she is not out either. I think I'm ready to do it but she is not so...

Wowwww amaizing vlog ladies! Congrats!!! Every edition is coming better and better!!

I share what Gloria and Dalila says..I like to receive and give!!

Nice topic and completely true all what you say!!

Kisses!

Stone Butch Blues ...by Leslie Feinberg...Fits the topic today and gives a great perception of one person's life identifying as a stone butch....

I think this was the best episode yet.  Maybe because now we're talking about the good stuff :-)

Highlight:  When Dilila said, "Do you...." (In reference to her other half taking over)

Sweet.  Love Cherry Bomb. New favorite blog on Afterellen. Although, Bridget does make me laugh till I almost pee my pants.

Your INTRO video was hilarious. The energy and chemistry between the four of you is great.  

Gloria and Nikki nailed it with saying that a good bottom makes a good top.

And Ms. Dalila…….Aggress…..Do You……alrighty then.  

wow, my first time watching cherry bomb and it really hit home with me

my first girlfriend was a butch who was strictly a do-er...would never let me touch her intimately or make love to her...she could orgasm by giving, and though it was always great for me, too, i still felt unfulfilled, like i was missing out...the very last time we were together i somehow managed to break through and blew her mind, but unfortunately it was too late for our relationship and i was already starting to move on emotionally...

my current girlfriend is also butch, but more boi...anyway, she has a very strong masculine energy...she is definitely the more dominant in bed, but loves when we flip that around...and even though she is essentially a top, she always receives as well and we both get to enjoy pleasuring each other...almost six years and as hot as ever, so giving AND receiving must be working for us

great vlog...will be sure to tune in again!

I realize this is a lesbian-oriented website and I often feel like an interloper being here.  This episode introduced me to a part of the lesbian culture quite new to me: "stone butch," "pillow princess," "tops and bottoms."  I didn't know that lesbians use the terms "tops" and "bottoms."  I thought it was a gay male thing.  The conversation was uncomfortable at times.  Like Gloria, the Catholic girl in me just wanted to change the topic.

It's eye-opening to learn that the complexity of gender roles exists even within same-sex relationships.

love your blogs keep them coming :).

your advice is really helpful Ive just come out and you are helping me so much thank you :)

your blog is my favourite :)

Oh boy... when I was still in high school I dated a girl who was 100% NOT out. We had classes together and we'd sit at opposite ends of the classroom where she proceeded to ignore me for the entire class. When she'd come over afterwards, at my home because her parents couldn't know, she was all touchy-feely and into me. I met her parents and got introduced as 'a classmate' and that was about when I was done. I was super, super out at that time (as in hello, my name is Faith and I'm gay) and I just couldn't deal. Back then I thought it was because she was just afraid to come out to her religious parents but now I know it's because she is now pretty much straight (she identified as a lesbian back then). So yeah, after that, I decided not to do the closeted thing anymore because it simply kills me and I will not lie about my sexual orientation. Period.

My girlfriend of 3,5 years and I have the bedroom pretty much figured out. I'd say we equal each other in dominant/submissive. I think it's about 55% dominant for me and 45% for her but that difference is neglect-able. I have always enjoyed giving as much (or more) as receiving and I know that my girl does as well. 

My girl is more butch in appearance but she lets that slip when she's home with me. She trusts me and loves me enough to be herself. She is not afraid to cry with me, come with me or talk about her feelings. We both understand, though, how someone who identifies as 100% butch would have trouble opening up that part of her because you have set up expectations, for the outside world but for yourself even more. Letting go and being feminine does not go with that.

As for dating straight girls... No. Simply no. I am done with that. There can never be equality in the relationship.  

Another GREAT vlog ladies, thank you so much :) I watch these vlogs with my girl and it helps us clarify our relationship. So keep it up, please. See you next week ;)

Who you gonna be if you can't be yourself,
you can't get it from t.v., you can't force it on
anybody else.-- Ani Difranco

I'm with Gloria with this one. There's lots of reasons why people can't be out. But I also agree that one can only be closeted at an amount of time, specially in relationships. Being closeted forever'll kill ya. Like fer serious. =)

Thanks for the vlog, looking forward for the next one.

~The world begins and ends with the person next to the godless stars below the hay of stones which waz totally hot~

Cherry Bomb has become my favorite vlog. I love the discussions and the topics, especially the ones discussed in today's vlog!

Thanks for making such a good and interesting vlog! 

I love that vlog so much... Thanks ladies, it really is my favorite vlog.

I had no idea about the stone butch and pillow queen thing... actually i don't know what i would do in either situation, i want to be able to give as much as i receive and to receive as much as i give. It's an interaction... Not being able to give back would be so weird! I don't get the "i'm just a top" or "just a bottom" as well. Switching is so much fun! It's great to be with someone who can surprise you and it's great to surprise people imo :)

As for coming out, yes there's a lot of reason for not being out. I wasn't... and it's not about the person you are with, there's many other reasons and i was lucky to have someone patient with me i guess... Then as you all said in the vlog, you need to know what you want in that relationship and then make up a decision. But you can't force someone to come out of the closet. Actually it'll have the opposite consequence because the person will feel pressured and judged...

Y'all are teasers.....it can't end with:

"Dating straight girls is a whole other topic, we'll leave that one for next week." In Jill's words: WHATTTTTT!!!

I soooo wanted to hear about that topic, cause I got a lot of straight girl crushes.

Anyways awesome vlog again! Gloria and Dalila are hilarious together!

~confusedN~

i'd like to address the usage of the term "pillow princess" as the counterpart to the stone butch. the real terminology for the femme counterpart to the stone butch is stone femme. when you think about it pillow princess was a derogatory expression used by lesbians against other lesbians to deride their sexual practices as entitled, lazy, and anachronistic (because the amount of open stone butches and femmes were prolific before second wave feminism....all kind of detailed in stone butch blues..thanks caramelcoloreds for bringing it up!)

futhermore, i don't believe that being femme or butch necessarily dictates a person's sexual practices. there are plenty of exclusively femme tops/doms and butch bottoms/subs and switch hitters in between. i try not to presuppose what someone would be capable of doing in bed based on their appearance or gender identity.  i just so happen to be a femme who's generally a sub and i attract and am attracted to butch/stud/boi/trans people who are generally tops. to me it's all about finding the yin to my yang and if either party isn't comfortable with what's being offered i think it's better to be an adult, just admit incompatibility, and move on. judging and haranguing other people for their sexuality reminds me a lot of high school, which is why i really resent terms like pillow princess. if that's how someone gets off why should it bother me?

anyway i'm kind of the flipside of what you ladies say about submissive being vunerable. i think that topping someone can put you in just as vunerable a position because someone could judge what you're doing to them. so i probably wouldn't top someone who i'm having a one off fling with or i wasn't the most attracted to because it would put me a vunerable postion and bring me out of my comfort zone, but i have topped women i'm really attracted to or in relationship with because there's enough of a vested interest there in keeping things interesting and risking being judged by them.

I always thought that top/bottom referred to who was more dominant or submissive, or who "wore the pants" in the relationship. But I'm glad to know the real meaning now.

As for myself, I can't imagine being with a stone femme, but I wouldn't mind being with a stone butch as long as they weren't stone cold emotionally. I also think it's a wonderful ability to achieve orgasm by just giving. I think it would be really romantic to look down and see your lover in ecstasy just from pleasing you. 

  This is a great Vlog!! I love it. Please continue!

Every woman I have ever loved has left her print upon me, where I loved some invaluable piece of myself apart from me--so different that I had to stretch and grow in order to recognize her. And in that growing, we

I identify with being the more dominant person in the relationship.  I am no where close to being stone cold butch or dyke etc... When I was younger I was concern about showing my feminine side to the woman I am interested in.

It is ironic in a heterosexual relationship; most women look for men that are more sensitive and nurturing.  

Dating is something I have not even begun to venture into; it is a whole another exploration I chose not to venture in.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX9NPMYn87I&feature=related

I love that the ladies at least hinted at D/s themes this week.  Speaking of validation, it's great to see recognition of D/s in the lesbian community.  I agree that tossing it up a bit is good.  I enjoy submitting whether I'm dolled up or going my most androgynous, and submitting *to* anything from bois to high femmes.  I do think that some people prefer one role, but it's good to have options.  I'm definitely a submissive, but I will top someone.  For some, I think breaking out of the role is a very occasional thing, only in the deepest, most committed and trusting relationships, but in that context it's beautiful.

 Also, a technical comment - I really don't like the camera angles from above that have been used in the past two episodes.  It's rather jarring, and you lose the intimate conversation feel.  Stick with the simple shots, they look great. 

Great vlog ladies.