"Mississippi Queen" explores growing up gay in the South

I'm excited about this film. I'm gonna go straight to Netflix and see if they have it. 

I was born and raised in Alabama and have lived here my entire life, except for a year I lived in Mississippi. I was highly involved in a Southern Baptist youth group while in high school.  I went to a southern baptist college that socially banished the gay students.  I went on multiple summer-long mission trips through Southern Baptist agencies during my undergrad.  

I finally came out about a year ago.  And I lost a lot of friends.  

I've had people from my hometown email me or write me letters condemning me and my "sinfullness."  I've walked away from the church because there's not a place for me and churches here in the South.  Among the younger generations that are less religious, things are easier.  Among the religious individuals, things are harder.  

I spent my formative years in Natchez, Clinton, and Jackson, Mississippi, so I ordered Paige's film within minutes of reading about it.  Good for you, Paige!  I'm sure your film will help so many Mississippi lesbians and (to borrow the title of fellow-Mississippian Kevin Sessums' terrific memoir) so many "Mississippi Sissies."

This is going to be great to watch.

I was born and raised not only in Alabama, but in a strict evangelical christian church, typical of the South. I came out in high school and my school was actually surprisingly progressive and accepting.

I found out just how many people in my area are LGBT. I was surprised by how many, because the Bible-belt culture in the South has frightened and pushed most of these folks either away or back into a closet of sorts. Even though most of the social lashing happened years ago, gay people here are still very quiet. At the college I currently attend (in my hometown), we have a fairly large percentage of the faculty & students who are LGBT, but our GSA had NO members last year. As far as straight people go now, most think it's cool that I'm gay (it really is "trendy" to be accepting of gay people right now), but the gay community is totally disjointed here.

Even with my gay friends, its hard to talk even to about being gay, much less show gay pride, because of this cultural suppression/repression.

Going back to the church issue, I'm ashamed to say, that I didn't come out there yet. "Homosexual conduct" is not permitted, so I would be asked to repent (which I wouldn't & couldn't do) and I would be excommunicated (no one- not even my family would be allowed to communicate with me). Since I'm not ready to lose them, I, like so many in my area, play it straight much of the time. 

Still, I have hope for the South. There are enough good people here that if someone (like myself) got the ball rolling, the community could come together pretty quickly and we would find acceptance. That may be wishful thinking, but I hold onto that belief. 

Watching this brings back a lot of pain and sadness from my youth. I grew up in a Southern Baptist family, was involved in all the youth activities at our church, and served as the principle pianist from age 13 though 17 when I realized I was gay (although I didn't know that word, nor did I know the word lesbian) and began having a relationship with a church friend who was 2 years older than me. I tried to maintain the facade for a while, but I was being destroyed from the inside out. Being told you're going to hell and that you are, and always will be, less of a person than others is not something that most are able to tolerate for very long. At least I couldn't.

I am so thankful that I was soon able to leave behind the small minds in my small town that were willing to be judge and jury of my life and attend a large university where I met many people who were gay and lesbian. What I feel now is mostly anger, and yes, a bit of pity for those whose worldview doesn't reach beyond their small community, and whose fear of anything that is "other" defines their very existence. I was lucky. Others haven't been so lucky. I congratulate and celebrate Paige for the strength to create this piece of work, and I hope that it helps at least one young, southern, lesbian who may be facing a situation similar to mine.

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. -Dorothy Parker

This  film is on my must have list. I come from a long line of preachers,pastors,ministers, missionary wives,etc.  They all are wrong.  Since the at age  of 5 I never bought any of their sugar-coated hatin' unspiritual  messages. I am very different. I can't  wait to see this film.

It breaks my heart, as a Southern, to know that these ex- gay ministries are out there. I've watched friends and lovers struggle so hard with being gay,lesbian and bisexual and being Christitan. What all of these ex-gay people need is support and love and a dose of truth. 

It depends where you live if things are getting easier. I'll say in certain pockets. I stay away from people who are not going my way including family members. I really don't care if my mother and father accept  me or not. I'm not here on earth for them but for the Divine.  I roll with good hearted souls who speak of love and acceptance. It's their lost no one wants be around someone like me because I'm a Lesbian. I see those people  beneath me anyway.

Yes, I'm stuck up. I have a right to be.

I was raised by a Southern Baptist preacher who loved me dearly, but we never had "the talk". I met my first g/f when I was 21 and we were together for almost 8 years. When I left home I made the adult decision to only attend church when I wanted to, instead of the every Sunday morning, night, Wednesday night schedule I was expected to adhere to living in my parent's house. I was convinced upon meeting my g/f and beginning that "lifestyle choice" that I was condemning myself to hell. That was fine with me because I was so happy then. I thought, I will pay that price later to be this happy now.

I should have begun this by saying I live in Nashville, TN and this is as far north as I have ever lived. The first 12 years in MS, then 2 in New Orleans, then 13 in Huntsville, AL. I know the south, and I am southern to the bone. Sweet tea and Jesus are two of my favorite things in the world. I just know Jesus in a different way now. It took years of struggling to live with the "thorn in my flesh", trying to pray the  gay away. Needless to say, that never works. If you are gay, then the only "choice" you have is to be happy and gay, or play straight and be unhappy but become accepted by all the wrong people for you.

Unfortunately my father passed away 12 years ago so I never had the chance to talk to him after I reconciled my spirituality with my sexuality. My mother loves me just the way I am. My bigoted, deacon brother doesn't want to meet my life partner. Now those are choices. My mother decided on unconditional love, and my brother did not.

I could write for days about this. I dont' know what I would do now if I wasn't assured of the love of God in my life. It's imperative to me. I am a spiritual creature in need of communion that brings that peace and joy I heard about all my life from my father's pulpit. I know in my heart that we could have this talk now if he were still here, and he would see the peace and understand that God made me this way. I would urge anyone who is hurting from things said by hateful "chrsitians" to reconsider the source. Get alone with God and you will hear it said that you were knitted in your mother's womb...you are beautifully and wonderfully made...or so that Psalmist says.

im in Georgia, and im 21 and in college, and i live at home still, but im working on moving out and away from here as soon as possible. probably to atlanta. my family doesnt know im gay yet, but most of my friends do, and its killing me having to hide who i am from my family, and having to live in fear of being found  out. my church would excommunicate me, and i would lose all family ties, and a lot of friends too.

from my personal experience, i think that the Bible Belt syndrome is a real reality, especially in my world, Suburbia. the closer you get to big cities, the more liberal and tolerant people become. But, as Cowgirl said, tolerance is 'in' now everywhere, so it feels like young adults and teens atleast act like being gay doesnt bother them, or that they think its cool and bold and even brave to admit that you are gay. So LGBT people feel less threatened now, in particular at state colleges like mine, and in most public highschools.

Watching this trailer and reading these comments i felt like i was watching a flash-forwardof my life. my plan is to move away and not have to deal with officially coming out to my family, but i dont know if that will be possible.

im not angry at Christians for not approving of me - i honestly dont see how they CAN accept homosexuality without being inconsistent with their religion. i know there are a million arguments on how you can be gay AND christian, it just doesnt compute for me cause of the passages that say you cant do both. if you take scissors to your Bible and ignore some passages, how can you tell someone else which ones you HAVE to keep obeying? it seems like it would all fall apart. So i understand their intolerance- i just think its sad and unfortunate but unavoidable. Which is why i want OUT of the Bible belt as soon as possibe. Conservative Christians can live their life and believe what they want, if they let me do the same elsewhere. 

Maybe someday I can move back out to the 'burbs, cause i do love them, but for now, the city is the place to be, if you're LGBT in the south, like me. ^_^

Reformed Southern Baptists unite!

Thanks, Linster. :)

Born in Georgia and raised in NC and OH and TX. I know how hard it is for a lot of people growing up LGBT in the south. Especially for me I was born in the projects where I could have got my ass kicked if I came out and did not have respect for the bullies. Being African American and queer is hard enough but to look forward with your head held high in the south is definitely a challenge. Hopefully one day our voices get heard too.

My mom went on a 30 day fast/prayer session for the deliverance of my soul when I told her I would be moving in with my long-term girlfriend. Incidentally, when I came out to her she thought it was a phase, that I was a les because I was in college and it was the thing to do and it would pass. I graduated 2 years ago; it hasn't passed. She's still living in the land of denial.

Love is a growing up.

twitter.com/obskuretris

Linster, thank you for sharing that bit of your personal experience with us.  That goes for the posters who have shared, too.  As a Southerner, I am often torn by my love of the South, and my disappointment in it.  

I am from the Nashville area and have lived in Chattanooga for the last 5 years attending college. I can tell you that on some fronts, things are a little better than when I came out in my white suburban town 9 years ago. On the other front, things are still just as frustrating as ever. I will never be ashamed that I am from the South, nor do I hate it as much as I used to, but like some of the other posters, I am often torn by my love for the South. I love a lot about it, but I hate its politics. 

I am about to email this link to some friends and family and will do my da**edest to see the film.

And on one final note, the directors parents are infinitely more closeminded than mine were/are. I am one of the lucky ones whose family stood by me, but I have many friends who have suffered much like the director. 

I am excited about seeing this. I havent come out yet because I was raised southern Baptist and my family talks everyday about how disgusting homosexuality is. My brother is only 17 and is an ordained minister and my sister is a minister also. I was taught that it was wrong and still battle with the issues of whether or not to come out.  I do not argue with people about whether or not it is "right" or "wrong". I just change the subject or turn and walk away. All I know is that I have been attracted to girls since I was 5, and if you are not born that way, then explain why a 5 yr old likes the same sex. I have fought this battle for 30 years and will continue to fight it I guess. The only way for me to be TRULY happy is to move to another state. Seriously, my family would hold me down, annoint me, and try to cast out the demons, and if that didnt work, I would surely be burned at the stake. :) 

"Right there, in that moment, youll finally understand, Im better as a memory...."

I grew up in a small town in Alabama. My mother was fairly progressive, but not so progessive that she didn't discourage my true sexuality. Maybe she did that for my benefit because this small town is ultra conservative, but in the end, I think it would've been better for me to suffer the backlash back then and not be so screwed up in my sexuality now. However, to her benefit she did what she thought was best. I do see some progression in the south. Today, the younger generation are a little more open minded and informed. Although, my hometown is still a hard place to be gay or even liberal for that matter. Thus, I never visit. I found my haven in New Orleans. It is still below the Mason Dixon line, but it is not the south by any means. New Orleans has its issues, but I love this city for its approach to life and the fact that gay is just another adjective. It like saying you have brown hair or blue eyes. In a lot ways being different is actually normal here, it's the people who aren't different that stick out! I am still a proud southern and one day I hope that "thou shall not judge" will actually be heard by the people who preach those words on Sunday! If I am only a child of God if I'm straight, then we clearly pray to two different Gods. I prefer to believe in the accepting one! Thanks for the post.

Lived here my whole life (except a couple years in LA and FL)  and grew up in a Pentecostal church. I am completely in the closet, not family or even 1 friend knows.  Just really came to terms with who I am last year. It's hell finally knowing who I am and having to keep the secret, but I would be completely shut off by my whole family.

Anyway, this looks good, I'll have to check it out.

I can't really relate, well I can but in different ways to most people.

I'm 17 and I live in Melbourne, Australia. While there is a level of tolerance and it may be seen as 'trendy' to be gay - but that just opnes up a world of exploitation. Girls who think it's cool to make out with another girl to impress a guy. Anyway that wasn't my point.

Thing is I'm a christian and I'm gay. I'm out to a few close friends but not to my family, however I know that over all my church community would be supportive (there are a few gay couples), but there are always individuals who won't. I have always been brought up to believe that god loves everyone no matter who they are. And for that I am extremely greatful.

I have lived in a small town in the Mississippi Delta my entire life. I love it here; albeit pretty much nothing but flat farmland and lakes, it's the perfect recipe for one hell of a sunset and stress-free living.

This documentary was shown at a film festival in my town a couple of months ago. I was unable to make it, but my friends really liked it. I look forward to watching it as I can relate alot!

Growing up in a Southern Baptist church, I have just recently come to terms with my sexuality. In highschool, I really struggled internally, along with drugs and alcohol to mask my feelings. I knew something about me was different from all my straight friends. Having spent the majority of my life sitting on a pew listening to Scripture, my denial didn't allow me to realize what exactly that difference was. Even after my first relationship with a woman, I still questioned myself. "I'm not a lesbian, I just happened to fall in love with a woman." I'm five years older now, and I know who I am and am proud of it.

I do not regularly attend church at this time, but I do love the Lord. I refuse to believe He does not love me back because I'm gay. It saddens me because many of my gay friends despise Christianity because of such doctrine and interpretations.

I do believe things might be getting easier for LGBTs down here, outside of a Baptist church, that is. The younger generation has become seemingly more open-minded. Having such an assortment of people and relationships in the South, it's hard not to be. I think the media also helps educate people and break stereotypes (for the most part). Everyone I know [my age] is very accepting, if not welcoming; and those who aren't are vastly outnumbered. The older generation, however, is still set in their Southern Baptist ways. The majority of them are still extremely racist as well, on all sides, despite there being an equal number of all of us in the Delta. At this point, nothing could change their minds. But while we might not can change our past, we can change the future..

AR girl here. I left the church around age 13 once I figured out I was gay and they probably wouldn't be too cool with that. It's also around the time I figured out I was an atheist too.

I can't wait to put in a request for the library to purchase this.

**www.beyondmarriage.org** 

First off, Paige Williams is officially one of the most gutsy women I've seen.  It must have been beyond hard to try and gain acceptance from parents who run an ex-gay ministry.  I'm glad it hasn't destroyed their relationships, and that they still love each other.

So, I studied the Bible in college as a requirement, and I just don't understand how it's all right for "Christians" to pick and choose certain lessons from this book.  It's a very old, often translated manuscript written for a different time period. 

I just got tired of the conflicting opinions and stopped calling myself a Christian (not that I was a very enthusiastic one to begin with.)  I'm a self-practicing Pagan now, and I worship the earth and the Triple Goddess.  I love it, because it's so open...you pretty much pick and choose what to follow. 

And I'm not sure what Manda is talking about.  Granted, we're a Uni town, but it's not that accepting, which really is what makes what Paige is doing that much more impressive.  We've had some pretty rough anti gay crimes here, not to mention my personal experience with this part of Montana has NOT been welcoming!  I've lost jobs when people have found out I was gay.  I've had bottles thrown at my house, my tires slashed - you name it.  It's not as accepting as people like to believe.  The sentiment is just boiling beneath the surface because there is a good portion of well educated open minded people here. 

That said, I would have gone to see this, but I had to work.  And for those of you interested in the type of anti-gay sentiment in Missoula, go to the Missoulian.com website and find the article, scroll down and find the posts from the public responding to this.  Not very welcoming.

~Without risk, there can be no innovation.  Without innovation, there can be no advancement. ~

...being shunned or pitied or prayed for by my parents.

But being shunned and pitied and prayed for by your peers and extended family is almost as difficult. I'm afraid to go to church (at a conservative church I would be rejected; at a liberal church I would be shot*), and all my paternal relatives have cut off communication. I am in therapy. 

My mom says that if my mental health declines, she will not let me go to college outside Tennessee. Unfortunately, my mental health problem is Baptist-induced agoraphobia, which has a rather obvious remedy.  

If I was a better person, or an older person, I wouldn't be angry. I hate them. A lot. 

*Remember that Unitarian church shooting a little less than a year ago? That was my church, and my best friend's stepfather was killed. 

I have lived in Alabama most of my life.  My dad grew up Southern Baptist and my mother's father is a retired minister in the Nazarene denomination so religion has always been a huge part of my life.  The main reason that I haven't come out to my family yet is because of their religious beliefs.  Like NewlyOut said above me, I don't want to be shunned or prayed for by my family.  I hate the idea of my family praying for God to change who I am, the person he made me to be.