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"Little House on the Prairie": for adults only

by
the linster

Yesterday, erstwhile AfterEllen.com blogger scribegrrrl sent me a link to an article that started out like this:

“Finland has rated the DVD release of the much-loved children’s television series Little House on the Prairie suitable for adult viewing only.”

Say what? Charles and Caroline and Mary and Laura and the other kids whose names I never remember are X-rated? Wow. I thought I’d seen every episode. Apparently the DVD has some “extras” I never imagined.

I scoured the internet looking for clues to this ratings mystery. Maybe these quotations from the series are the key.

Laura: You know something, Mary?
Mary: No, what?
Laura: Life sure is a lot easier when you don't like boys!

We all know where that line of thinking leads. That’s right — to pure happiness.

Nellie Oleson: Half the time, you don't even SMELL like a girl! You're either sweaty, or you stink of fish!
Laura: Well, I sweat a lot and I fish a lot!

Sure you do, Laura. Sure you do.

OK, before anyone starts a letter writing campaign to the Finnish Board of Film Classification, here’s the real story. Finnish law requires that every movie released in Finland must be inspected and rated by the agency, or else it’s marked “banned for under-18s.” Here’s the catch: the agency charges 2 euros ($2.57) per minute to review films and TV series. Each Little House on the Prairie episode was around, say, 50 minutes (averaging for the varying commercial time over the years). Multiply that times 22 seasons times 9 years and you have enough that Universal Pictures decided to skip the inspection.

To which I say, balderdash.

I’m a sucker for Little House. I read all the books and watched every episode of the TV show multiple times — and cried every time Laura got that “I just learned a valuable lesson” look.

I hate to think that kids in Finland might not know the show just so a multi-million-dollar studio can save $22K or so. But that’s just me.

If you want a few adults-only Little House tidbits, however, Nellie Oleson is glad to oblige. Alison Arngrim, who played Nellie, has spilled the beans both in the media and in her comedy benefits for AIDS and child protection. Seems like Nellie turned out all right after all.

She's also turned into a candidate to play Tina’s sister on the L Word. Especially now that Tina has adopted Nellie Oleson’s hairstyle.

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    • Submitted by
    the linster
    on November 11, 2008 - 11:00am.
    TAGS :: 
    SunriseShadow's picture

    Yowza

    Submitted by
    SunriseShadow (174 posts)
    on November 11, 2008 - 11:55am.

    I read all the books when I was younger =D Over here they're still showing it, though I'm not sure how far through we are :) So if I understood this right; inspecting the whole series would be too expensive and so they just rated it adult only? Poor Finnish kids! They missed an important part of their youth ;)

    Hanna Iris's picture

    Well if it makes any

    Submitted by
    Hanna Iris (40 posts)
    on November 11, 2008 - 12:22pm.
    Well if it makes any difference they are actually showing the reruns here (in Finland) ;)
    Chickonspeed's picture

    Gosh darnit, ms Linster!

    Submitted by
    Chickonspeed (50 posts)
    on November 11, 2008 - 12:35pm.

    I'm surprised you didn't report when MacGyver got the same rating, obviously that was because of the mullet.

    Don't worry for the sake of kids here, as Little House on the Prairie is currently on every Friday and Sunday morning. And should they grow up gay watching it, Finnish laws criminalize all types of discrimination and through civil unions we get the exact same rights as married couples. Well, besides adoption, but that's just a matter of time. Iz' all good, welcome lesbians of the world! ;)

    MyNumber99's picture

    This reminds me of how the

    Submitted by
    MyNumber99 (8 posts)
    on November 11, 2008 - 12:58pm.

    This reminds me of how the new Sesame Street boxed sets came out with the warning  'These early 'Sesame Street' episodes are intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of today's preschool child.'

    Huh?

    Satyricon's picture

    Mmmmaybe this one to,

    Submitted by
    Satyricon (159 posts)
    on November 11, 2008 - 1:11pm.

    Mmmmaybe this one to, Lol:

    Laura: I should've kicked her in the face! I should've scratched out her eyes! 

     

    ..or this one?:) 

     

    Mary Ingalls Kendall: That Nellie Oleson is the meanest girl I ever did see! I could never be as mean as that! 
    Laura: I could - meaner! 
    [pause] 

    Laura: If Ma and Pa would let me!

     

    That girl rock!! 

    Pyewacket's picture

    I dunno...I can kind of see their point.

    Submitted by
    Pyewacket (1495 posts)
    on November 11, 2008 - 3:13pm.

    Between Ma (Caroline)...Mary...Laura...and even Miss Beadle...I would bet there are quite a few gay girls around the world who made that realization about themselves, thanks to Little House.

    I am thinking that Pa, Albert and Almanzo also might have done the same for the gay boys of the world.

    lol  :P

    Nathiest's picture

    I say pay the 22k I mean

    Submitted by
    Nathiest (831 posts)
    on November 11, 2008 - 3:27pm.

    I say pay the 22k I mean the returns will be more then worth it.

    -Nathiest
    the devil is in the details

    Eeva's picture

    Weird, but...

    Submitted by
    Eeva (9 posts)
    on November 11, 2008 - 4:48pm.
    Heh, sorry to be the spoilsport here, but the strange DVD ratings of certain TV programmes in Finland are due to the fast pace of releasing DVD boxes in general. The commettee who are supposed to rate the DVDs simply don't have enough time to watch through everything, so they slap an adult rating on unwatched boxes just to avoid possible legal actions in the future - even if the programme is as obvious as "Little House on the Prairie".
    For same reason such shows as House, McLeod's Daughters and Arrested Development also carry a K-18 (adult content) rating.
    KatCooper's picture

    Hey, I'm not surprised.

    Submitted by
    KatCooper (7 posts)
    on November 11, 2008 - 11:29pm.

    Hey, I'm not surprised. Have you ever seen the one where the creepy mime rapes a young girl, gets her pregnant, and then she falls out of a barn and dies? (It totally sounds like I'm making that up, doesn't it? The episode is called Sylvia.)

     Or how about the one where Albert sets the blind school on fire and a woman burns alive in the house with a baby, and beats the baby against the window to try to free hereself? (Again, not making it up. Haha!)

     Or how about the one where Laura and Albert have sex in the loft? (Okay, I totally made that one up.)

     I loooove all things Little House. I'm just about as geeked out about it as they come. But I seriously wonder how some of these episodes counted as family programming! :)

    eohl's picture

    Stopping to think I just realised ...

    Submitted by
    eohl (116 posts)
    on November 12, 2008 - 4:16am.

    I just realised that I had a major crush (my first) on Mary and soooo identified with tom boy Laura who was around my age when the show was on air here in Australia.

    I was devastated when Mary started to go blind and absolutley horrified and did not know what to do with my weee pre-pubescent feelings (hormones?) when she hooked up with her first boyfriend. It was so wrong! So wrong I tell yah.

    Pugs's picture

    Nellie had lesbian hair

    Submitted by
    Pugs (54 posts)
    on November 12, 2008 - 8:55am.

    It was the Curly Q hairdo of Nellie's that made her gay.

    http://www.ComeTogetherGiftBaskets.com


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