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From bee charmers to ballers: Actresses who helped us come out

the linster

Coming out is different for everyone, but lesbian and bi women seem to share one common experience: that funny feeling in unmentionable places when certain actresses appear on screen. So, in honor of National Coming Out Day, we decided to take a walk down mammary, er, memory lane with AfterEllen.com bloggers who revealed which actresses sent Sapphic shivers down their spines.

Editor in Chief Sarah Warn confesses that seeing Mary-Louise Parker and Mary Stuart Masterson in Fried Green Tomatoes when she was 18 (and on a date with her boyfriend) “stunned” her.

She went home immediately and told her supportive mom she was gay. “Of course, then I took it back after convincing myself I was wrong and just hadn't met the right guy yet, because who realizes they're gay from watching a movie? :) A year later, I came out for real.”

Blogger Dorothy Snarker shares Sarah’s fond memories of MLP and MSM, adding that she also got “the funniest feeling” from Jennifer Connelly in Seven Minutes in Heaven. But, being an Asian dyke-in-waiting, she found a special thrill from The Karate Kid, Part II’s Tamlyn Tomita.

You don't have to be Asian to appreciate the appeal of an ass-kicking girl.

Blog editor Trish Bendix squirmed in her seat when she watched Joyce Hyser in Just One of the Guys.

She and blogger Hornito also confess to a connection with Sanaa Lathan from Love & Basketball. Mm-hmm.

Hornito adds Kate Winslet, Alicia Silverstone and Jem & the Holograms rivals, the Misfits: “Yes, they were cartoons, but so what?” So what, indeed.

Jen Sabella found her heart racing at the sight of Shannyn Sossamon and “Clea Duvall!”

Grace Chu admits, “Announcing you had a thing for Angelina [Jolie] was like announcing that you like puppies.” But her love for Angelina goes beyond the fear of being stereotyped — with good reason.

Stunt Double, whose love for women in sports movies is well documented, has no words for her feelings about Parminder Nagra in Bend It Like Beckham. I think Keira Knightley can relate.

My own lesbian compass was Meryl Streep. I couldn’t take my eyes off her in The Seduction of Joe Tynan as she, well, seduced Joe Tynan, and was so taken with her in Kramer vs. Kramer that I convinced myself her character was a lesbian.

Even now that I know why, Meryl still takes my breath away. As does my other formerly indefinable crush, Jodie Foster.

Sure, loving Jodie is de rigueur for lesbians, but I’m old enough to be a founding Foster fancier.

What about you? What actresses helped you discover your gayness?

the linster's blog

Submitted by

the linster

on October 12, 2009 - 5:00pm.

TAGS ::

Catherine Zeta-Jones

Submitted by

kallisti (45 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:01pm.

I'm not actually a huge fan of her work, but I remember when I was little, finding a TINY picture of her in the Radio Times and keeping it in my pocket. Got crumpled and ruined. I was saddened.

You aren't the only one

Submitted by

Natalie (8 posts)

on October 13, 2009 - 10:19pm.

Oh Catherine...I remember going to see Chicago with my mom when I was in high school. I was MESMORIZED by her the entire movie - definitely had that tingly feeling going on. I remember leaving the movie wondering if I should be so obsessed/attracted to her. Couldn't stop gushing to my mom about her after the movie, although I kept it to "she has such a great voice" and "she's such an amazing dancer," haha.

In Catholic highschool I had

Submitted by

ElusiveJ (30 posts)

on October 15, 2009 - 12:51am.

In Catholic highschool I had a picture of lying in the grass, covered only by a pink sheet, tucked into Leviticus in my school Bible.

lily taylor-mistic

Submitted by

TORRES (8 posts)

on October 15, 2009 - 2:10pm.

lily taylor-mistic pizza.....robin w. penn-princess bride....jenifer connelly-labyrinth.....i actually came out at 14 for a reg girl not a movie star...i knew long b4 i ever saw it on t.v.

For me it wasn't that I was

Submitted by

x1013x (52 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:04pm.

For me it wasn't that I was attracted to the actresses but I really identified with the characters. My first one was Idgie from FGT. I didn't make the connection of being gay though until Corky from Bound. Those two characters/movies changed my life forever.

Then there was seeing Jennifer Connelly in Higher Learning. Now that was one purely attraction and solidified my lesbianism.

Totally Lucy

Submitted by

Cara D (26 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:05pm.

Lucy Lawless in Xena, I was 8 when it was on TV here, and I just remember being obsessed.

Also the charmed girls went a long way to helping.

If you have not found something you are willing to die for, you have not yet lived. - Dr Martin Luther King Jr.

Oh man how could I forget

Submitted by

x1013x (52 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:12pm.

Oh man how could I forget Lucy Lawless! I think by the time I started watching Xena I knew I was gay but wasn't ready to except it.

haha, me too!

Submitted by

Cole.Prynn (8 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 6:16pm.

I remember a 5 year old me, obsessed with Gabrielle and desperately wanted to be Xena...

Now, who made me realize it as a teen? I owe that to Mariska Hargitay.

Oh gosh!

Submitted by

Phoebe (10 posts)

on October 13, 2009 - 1:43am.

Me too! I LOVED Xena, which was weird when you were in kinder!

When my mum started watching SVU, I would sometime's pretend to 'have a nightmare' and try and watch it too. I was so infatuated it's not funny!

I still think Mariska Hargitay is one of the most attractive women on tv.

Same here with Lucy before college

Submitted by

artistic_boricua (34 posts)

on October 14, 2009 - 2:17am.

Same here with Lucy Lawless. Lucy Lawless maid me run deep in the closet so I could Fantasies about her. Also Angelina Jolie in Gia and Gina Gershon in Bound. That movie maid me say, "Damn it, I'm so effing gay"

" And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"

--Anais Nin

Renee O'connor

Submitted by

claudia (15 posts)

on October 13, 2009 - 1:21am.

OMG For me it was Gabrielle , she was my first lady crush! and I wasn't even aware of all the lesbian subtext they had going on! I felt so silly when I found out...it would've been that much more enjoyable to watch!!

hmm

Submitted by

hawtblondechick (174 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:06pm.

The key ladies for me were/are:

Age 5-12: Lois Lane (Margot Kidder) & Wonder Woman (Lynda Carter)

Age 13-20: Lois Lane (Teri Hatcher) & Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) and oddly enough, Jane Seymour in Dr. Quinn, Counselor Troi & Dr. Crusher (Star Trek TNG)

20-30 (present): Angelina Jolie (I've never had as many dreams of someone as I have of her), Kate Beckinsale, Lucy Lawless, Kate Winslet,

Same here

Submitted by

csea (14 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 8:33pm.

Your age 13-20 lists matches mine almost exactly. I loved Lois Lane, both Margot Kidder and Teri Hatcher. I had a picture of Gillian Anderson as Dana Scully in my locker in high school.

I also liked Renee 'O Conner as Gabrielle on Xena.

Wow!

Submitted by

Ashleigh (8 posts)

on October 13, 2009 - 7:27am.

I can't believe someone besides me had a crush on Jane Seymour! I would always rush home from school to watch the reruns of Dr. Quinn that ran at four and sneak up late to watch the reruns at ten. It's odd because I totally had a thing for Teri Hatcher and Gillian Anderson. too. And of course...

XENA!!!

I STILL have a thing for her... lol!

Dr. Crusher

Submitted by

Rose as Romeo (11 posts)

on October 13, 2009 - 6:05pm.

Gates McFadden was my hero when I was in elementary school. My parents and I would watch TNG reruns every night... I thought I wanted to be her, but I just daydreamed about her all the time. I'm so glad I wasn't the only one who thought she was hot...

I watched the first three seasons of the X-File a couple years ago (DVDs are great things) and Scully was so...beautiful.

Why did I not figure I was lesbian sooner?

oh goodness, Dr. Crusher.

Submitted by

Inhibition (33 posts)

on October 15, 2009 - 9:03pm.

oh goodness, Dr. Crusher. You're getting me all worked up.

The biggest one for me was Lt. Yar, actually. So sad after she died.

Well this isn't really an

Submitted by

Dylan (148 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:34pm.

Well this isn't really an actress thing - more the film as a whole - but watching Desert Hearts when I was about 14 I recall thinking "Hmm, I never knew THAT was possible." To say I was intrigued is an understatement. Talk about 'funny feelings'...lol

Of course it wasn't until quite a bit older that I totally understood, but it's definitely the first time I recall watching something that made me squirmy, in a good way :p

I think my "actress that made me have uber gay thoughts" was Nastassja Kinsky, though. Certainly after watching Hotel New Hampshire ^^ Big soft spot for her (and Jodie) after that for sure.

http://www.femslashfanfiction.com/ - Femslash Fanfiction

Jennifer Aniston

Submitted by

Marie Debo (18 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:07pm.

in FRIENDS.

Ich atme den Beat-
Ich fühle den Bass-
Ich singe das Lied-
mit.

..

Submitted by

weeklyhowls (8 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:19pm.

First one that pops into my head is Rachel Weisz.

When I first saw The Mummy I was terrified, but I still watched it because of her :)

Also, when I was little I was totally obsessed with Xena. I think I must have always had a crush on Lucy Lawless :)

Naomi Watts

Submitted by

ckayw (3 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:19pm.

When I was in my teens, Naomi Watts was such a huge icon to me. I thought she was amazing and talented and beautiful. I loved the Ring and King Kong, I heart Huckabees, and 21 Grams is still my favorite movie of all time. I started to look into her work and found out about Mulholland Dr. ... I thought, "I've never seen this one!" I had no idea what it was about or that there was lesbian content. That movie helped me realize that I was gay and the relationship between the two lead girls reminded me so much of the relationship between my best friend and myself. Not too long after seeing that movie, I told my best friend how I felt about her and she echoed the same feelings. We have been dating for three years now. Thanks Naomi Watts for helping me realize who I am.

Naomi

Submitted by

ridiculous (45 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 7:03pm.

Me too! LOVED Naomi... i did the same thing except started at mulholland drive and went backwards and forwards through her career from there... also went backwards and forwards through Lynch. That movie made me fall for girls and cinema... very cute story... except i do hope you and your best friend/girlfriend aren't jealous homicidal lovers.

:)

Submitted by

ckayw (3 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 7:53pm.

hahaha. no homicidal lovers here. the first half of the movie reminds me more of our relationship than the second crazy half. lol. i love your picture!

ta.

Submitted by

ridiculous (45 posts)

on October 13, 2009 - 7:00pm.

Thanks... i think i loved David Bowie even more than Naomi when i was growing up... wait, does that make me straight? no... certainly not... ha ha. x

definitely...

Submitted by

roe3810 (1 post)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:20pm.

1.) jennifer morrison on house and now along with olivia wilde

2.) emily deschanel on bones

3.) mariska hargitay and stephanie march on law and order svu

just to name a few..

Ditto

Submitted by

Carolyn (120 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:31pm.

Same for me on Emily Deschanel and Stephanie March. Talk about ideal women....

http://twitter.com/whyyesitscar

So glad I am not the only

Submitted by

Theodora (41 posts)

on October 15, 2009 - 8:12pm.

So glad I am not the only Mariska lover.

Drew Barrymore was my very first. I was like 6.

Bilitis (in 1977)

Submitted by

Secondsex (78 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:22pm.

Patti D'Arbanville starred as Bilitis in this unforgettable movie.

Her!

Submitted by

justaFish (27 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:25pm.

Eliza Dushku...

as Faith

I mean, barbie and buffy had confirmed it. But Faith?

She brought a whole new meaning to my 7-8(?) year old self.

i'll second that.....

Submitted by

LuisPQuis (24 posts)

on October 13, 2009 - 8:04am.

....i remember watching faith's first appearance on buffy when it first aired and feeling rather....umm.....alert! ass-kicking vampire slayers seemed to definitely float the boat of my 16 year old self. and still very much do 11 years later!

"If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer." ~Robin Tyler

Yes it was definitely

Submitted by

A.n.n.y. (75 posts)

on October 13, 2009 - 1:45pm.

Yes it was definitely the vampire slayers for me.. Mostly Buffy though. Not sure why, not into blondes now! And then Willow and Tara ofcourse.. And then the charmed ones ;)

Further,

Sidney Bristow, Mrs. Smith (Angelina oh LORD! that's when I realised shy all the lezzies liked her), uhm.. I don't even remember the rest haha.

My first real movie crush

Submitted by

Penny Winterr (727 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:25pm.

was Mary Stuart Masterson in Benny & Joon. I was about 13 or so even though her character wasn't gay, I had the strongest longing for her. I hadn't seen Fried Green Tomatoes, but after seeing B&J, I immediately rented everything I could get my hands on with her in it. After seeing FGT, she was my ideal fantasy until Elizabeth Mitchell in Gia.

aww

Submitted by

Arlie M. (2 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 7:23pm.

zomg! I love Benny and Joon! Such a cute movie...

I will always have a crush

Submitted by

claudia (15 posts)

on October 13, 2009 - 1:24am.

I will always have a crush on Elizabeth Mitchell....

who doesn't, honestly?

Submitted by

Inhibition (33 posts)

on October 15, 2009 - 9:04pm.

who doesn't, honestly?

where to begin?

Submitted by

orange_fudge (1 post)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:30pm.

There are so many awesomely quirky ladies captured on celluloid...

* Zooey Deschenel in The Hitchhiker's Guide

* Larisa Oleynik in 10 Things I Hate About You (though I fell in love during her Alex Mack days)

* Kate Winslet in Eternal Sunshine

* Natalie Portman in Closer

* Milla Jovavich in The Fifth Element (so strong! so vulnerable!)

* Julia Stiles in anything where she gets to dance

Oh, her...

Submitted by

justaFish (27 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:36pm.

.Milla Jovovich, in Resident Evil, with Michelle Rodriguez?

That was a more recent defining moment. Those two in general...

larisa oleynik!

Submitted by

rusty_tiffany (147 posts)

on October 13, 2009 - 10:18am.

i loved her! she was on boy meets world for a while too.

i also totally had a crush on danica mckellar as winnie cooper on the wonder years, and i loved maureen mccormick, aka marcia brady, in reruns growin up.

OMG! Winne Cooper! I loved

Submitted by

Theodora (41 posts)

on October 15, 2009 - 8:14pm.

OMG! Winne Cooper! I loved her!

I totally forgot about my childhood crush on her.

Top 3

Submitted by

Carolyn (120 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:34pm.

Stephanie March - the amount of dreams I have had about her are endless
Natalie Portman - circa V for Vendetta. She looks really, really good bald
Elizabeth Mitchell - ER era, but especially in Gia

http://twitter.com/whyyesitscar

Thank you!!!

Submitted by

monica_ca (684 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 8:04pm.

I feel 5,498 times better knowing that I wasn't the only woman swooning over Elizabeth Mitchell while she was on ER.

she was clearly the best

Submitted by

Carolyn (120 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 8:26pm.

she was clearly the best thing about the 7th season. after she left, i was quite steamed. also i watched everything she was ever in.

http://twitter.com/whyyesitscar

Kim Legaspi

Submitted by

Miss Janet (3 posts)

on October 15, 2009 - 10:00pm.

I realized I was gay when I saw Elizabeth Mitchell on ER.

I still and always will have the biggest crush on her!

YES.

Submitted by

kateslate (6 posts)

on October 13, 2009 - 7:51pm.

Elizabeth Mitchell. Thank you and goodnight.

Cameron Diaz

Submitted by

Elle Girl (70 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:37pm.

I'm not too into her anymore, but I'm told that when I was 7 my aunt took me to see "The Mask" and afterwards, upon being asked what my favorite part was, I responded, "The blonde lady made my tummy feel funny."

I love that story.

"It might make Elizabeth Hasselbeck cry, but we're gonna do it." - Tina Fey

Camerion Diaz-oh my God!

Submitted by

OttersRevenge (11 posts)

on October 13, 2009 - 7:15am.

This is so funny, I was about 10 or 11 when The Mask came out and I watched it loads despite feeling a bit 'funny' when Cameron was on screen! It's so good to see it wasn't just me, haha!

I'm not that into her anymore either, but she definitely helped me on the track to realising who I was, despite not coming out until years later..

For Sure....

Submitted by

Brooke (20 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:38pm.

Jennifer Garner as Sydney Bristow in Alias

and I admit I was slighty obsessed with Kimberly the Pink Power Ranger! hahah

I second ^that^

Submitted by

girl_irish (3 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 11:45pm.

At the time, I thought it was because I wanted to be Sydney, but now I know better :) Alias was my favorite show, and I'll still see any movie that Jennifer Garner is in.

Others for me were Keira Knightley in Bend it Like Beckham and Emma Watson in Harry Potter (once she looked old enough)...I guess I'm a sucker for British accents. I'm sure there's more, but I can't think of them now.

Willow Rosenberg from Buffy.

Submitted by

Castaway (10 posts)

on October 12, 2009 - 5:46pm.

Willow Rosenberg from Buffy. Hands down the most awesome red head of all time. When her and Tara first hooked up I was a bit shocked (being too young to really get it at the time), she was always my favourite character and the one I related to the most before it, and more so after.

Also, not an actress, but Melanie C from the Spice Girls did it for me, around the time she released her second solo album, I was 14 and just knew.

Yes!

Submitted by

chloe121212 (279 posts)

on October 13, 2009 - 12:06am.

Definitely Alyson Hannigan's character, Willow. It also brought about my love of red heads. :)

I loved Tara. She was so

Submitted by

ladypythia (15 posts)

on October 13, 2009 - 6:36am.

I loved Tara. She was so sweet and shy. And Amber Benson is just fab and adorable.

Also on my list:

Rose McGowan... Loved Paige's character from Charmed. And she looks like Snow White to me.

Jennifer Tilly... She's the perfect mix of goth and Femme. And just a natural sexiness.

Nicole Kidman... Loved The Hours, Practical Magic and Bewitched. And she has the cutest nose.

Also, seeing Imagine Me and You. When I saw Luce and Rachel together - I knew that was the kind of relationship I wanted.

And I almost forgot Shawnee Smith (How could I?). She's my crazy, disturbed horror movie love. I totally wanted to save her at the end of Saw III. I wanted to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay.

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