Betty Draper brings the L-word to "Mad Men"
Mad Men premiered Sunday night and lesbians across American rejoiced.
We will have plenty to say about the marvelous women of
Don Draper (Jon Hamm), who is determined to be a faithful father after Betty (January Jones) issued an ultimatum last season, spent some quality time with daughter Sally (Kierman Shipka) last night.
Sally has been acting out a bit because Daddy’s gone a lot. In fact, she ruined his valise by smashing the clasp with a hammer. But when Betty tells Don about it, she jokes, “… she’s taken to your tools like a little lesbian.”
Wait, what? Two conventional Sixties parents had an exchange that so casually dropped the word “lesbian” in reference to their daughter? Really?
I’m not quite old enough to remember words that were in casual usage in 1963, but I do know that I never even heard the word “lesbian” until college — maybe later. The two girls in my dorm who walked down the hall holding hands were “homos.” Athletic girls were “tomboys” and older unmarried women were “spinsters,” even when two of them lived together. Then again, I was raised in the Bible Belt by Southern Baptist parents and went to Baylor. I didn’t exactly live in a progressive world.
Still, in 1963, Stonewall had not happened and homosexuals were far from accepted. Mad Men’s storyline about Sal’s struggles with being a closeted gay man indicates that even in a New York ad agency, homosexuality is a taboo. And last season, when the normally outspoken Joan (Christina Hendricks) hears a confession of love from her roommate Carol, she simply pretends not to understand.
My initial reaction was that Mad Men goofed. But a comment I read on the fabulous Mad Men fansite Basket of Kisses made me reconsider. As the commenter pointed out, Betty attended Bryn Mawr, one of the Seven Sisters colleges. She doubtless had lesbian classmates, whether she regarded them favorably or not. Perhaps Betty’s background gives credence to her comment about Sally.
Does anyone know if “lesbian” was used casually in the early Sixties? Or was Betty’s remark anachronistic? Do you care if Mad Men time shifts details for the sake of the story?
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I know nothing about "lesbian" or Mad Men
From a west coast Canadian.
I am a child of the Sixties and sometimes we would be called "Lezzies" if you hugged another girl for too long...or held hands. Especially since your suppose to start liking boy's by then. It was all in fun, yet it made me question my own sexuality. I came out to my best friend in the early seventies at the age of 13 with not much fanfare.
Also, when I was a teenager I hung out with about 10 girlfriends (all good-looking and popular, and I still hang out with most of them today). But because we did not care what anyone thought of us, would hug and kiss each other in front of everyone in the hallways at school. We soon were given the moniker "Lesbianage"(pronounced like the french word menage). We loved it!! LOL
So I would say yes I did hear the word Lesbian in the Sixties.
Between 1955 and 1969 over
Between 1955 and 1969 over 2,000 books were published using lesbianism as a topic, and they were sold in corner drugstores, train stations, bus stops, and newsstands all over the U.S. and Canada. However Most were written by, and almost all were marketed to heterosexual men. Coded words and images were used on the covers. Instead of "lesbian", terms such as "strange", "twilight", "queer", and "third sex", were used in the titles, and cover art was invariably salacious.
-I speak in random thoughts
Lots of Pre-1960s Lesbians
There are lots of pre-1960s citations for "lesbian" in the Oxford English Dictionary:
2. (Freq. with lower-case initial.) [After the alleged practice of Sappho, the poetess of Lesbos; cf.
1890
1972
1933
1931
B. n. A female homosexual.
1947
1940
1936
1925
1895
1870
1965
I aspire
One day I too will be worthy enough to quote OED lesbian statistics in my comments like it's no big deal.
Awesome!
Get Your Multimedia On
Somewhat shockingly, OED quoting will soon require both the online version and a nineteenth- or twentieth-century hardcopy. As Ammon Shea wrote in the NYT last week:
One thing not so well known about the O.E.D. is that a large portion of it was published between 1884 and 1933 and has hardly been updated since. Past improvements to the dictionary have primarily focused on adding new entries and senses of words, rather than revising the already existing ones that had become out of date. Now, however, the entire dictionary is being revised, online, for the first time ever.
This current revision began in 2000. The editors have gone from the letter “M” through the beginning of “Re-” (although some words are edited out of sequence). Enormous changes are being wrought in the dictionary — often through adding information that was not available when the dictionary was first written. For instance, marriage is defined quite differently today than it was when the entry was initially published a century ago, and the O.E.D. now specifies that it can refer to a union of persons of the same sex.
While it's nice to see definitions of words like "marriage" updated, how sad will it be when Pope Joan is no longer explained etymologically with the simple phrase: “After the fabulous female pope Joan”? And how will we know that protodaw was once prothodaw, meaning “a prime simpleton, a noodle of the first rank"? Should we look it up in the new OED, we'll think it's just another name for a complete idiot.
That said, all you need is a public or uni library and/or a good used bookstore, and you too can cite early and often from the self-proclaimed "definitinve record of the English language."
Oh yes! the word lesbian was used a lot in the 50s & 60s
If a female wouldn't 'put out' to a male, he would usually accuse her of being a lesbian. The word was usually hissed out and used in an accusing way - 'you're a lezzbian.'
Lezzies was also a common insult to women whether they were gay or not. This is one reason why many gay women from those periods hate the word lesbian. Before gay pride became politically correct, both men and women were referred to as gay in gay circles. Even now, the annual celebration of Stonewall is still called Gay Pride.
I equate the word lesbian/lezzie with the derogatory names of homosexual/faggot. Gay is the word!
Agreed
I equate the word lesbian/lezzie with the derogatory names of homosexual/faggot.
I feel the same way. I know a lot of other people don't, but both "lesbian" and "homosexual" sound terribly old-fashioned and negative to me.
Ask older folks?
"Does anyone know if “lesbian” was used casually in the early Sixties?"
According to my maternal grandmother, yes, but do keep in mind that she also went to Barnard, grew up in a large city and had a group of "socially progressive" friends and acquaintances.
As for my paternal grandmother, I can't bear the thought of even asking her about anything to do with sexual orientation. It's too embarrassing. ;)
i don't watch the show but
i don't watch the show but it would appear that, like any other word, lesbian was used in the 60s...most likely as a pejorative as it is used here. 'she took to your tools like a little lesbian?' damn, stereotype much? it's amazing no one has commented on that. but considering the time period this show takes place in there is probably no need.
---------------------------------------------
~I am bisexual. You are confused.~
other plotline
It's interesting to view this line drop in respect to Salvatore's storyline in the show (getting it on with the bell boy and getting caught), where it's achingly clear that being out in their world wasn't an option, and where Don so carefully approaches him about it later without actually mentioning it.
I think the show's creators are WELL aware of any "taboo" phrase they play around with, and thenature of this show is that everything carries some weight.
1960s
I'm reluctant to say that the word "lesbian" was used a lot in mainstream society. My guess is lesbianism was more often implied in context rather than stated explicitly. Obviously, it was used a lot in gay and lesbian publications by that time, but everywhere else, I'm not so sure. The first real life "Homosexual" didn't even appear on television until 1961, and very few newspaper headlines used the word "Lesbian" at that time. (The words "Homosexual" or "Sexual deviates" were more commonly used from what I've seen.)
My other initial thought is that certain lesbian stereotypes were not so firmly established by that time. Obviously I'm generalizing here, but it would seem to me that things like women "with tools" or wearing boots or men's clothes or short haircuts as being automatically lesbian attributes wasn't something that was widely discussed until feminism. Yes, there were masquerading laws, but most people (especially straight people) didn't really know about that.
"Every time two lesbians kiss, an angel gets its wings." --Roseanne
30 Rock
Of course the word lesbian
Of course the word lesbian was in use in 1963, but the question is whether it would have been used in a casual conversation by a straight woman to describe her daughter. The term wasn't even widely used by gay women until the feminist movement in the '70s. For that matter, homosexuality wasn't thought about much by straight people, no less discussed, before Stonewall (or until Anita Bryant, really.)
With her woman's college background, Betty might be familiar with the word lesbian. However, she would more likely have called her daughter (whom she doesn't much like), a derogatory term like tomboy, but I doubt she would have called her a lesbian, which is not only out of context in terms of the decade, but also has more sexual connotations then are appropriate for a mother to call her eight-year old.
Juxtaposition
Authentic in every way
That small and possibly throwaway line shows the writers on the mark. What is more compelling is why persons would react in surprise at the line? Let's start with details. One is this is a highly private conversation. It is between a husband and wife with no other observers. It is in the bedroom which again conveys the utmost privacy. The man has seen military service and comes across as very smart. The woman attended Bryn Mawr - a woman's only school whose most famous President, M. Carey Thomas lived in two pretty obvious consecutive relationships with women (who also were at the school) and a school in which any student (unless mentally slow) would be aware of lesbian relationships. For all we know the woman could easily have had same sex relationships herself (and if that was to come to light and someone says that makes no sense feel free to enlighten that lesbian and bisexual women of that time period usually entered marriages with men and nowadays many still do). This is also the upper middle class of New York. The Gay Metropolis itself.
So we know these are not two simple minded people nor two people that live in an environment that would preclude them from being aware of lesbianism as existing. Then we have the time period. This was one that was very highly aware of lesbianism and male homosexuality. Both topics were pondered and one can know this by the significantly large amount of literature on the topic from Women's Barracks on (and it is myth that those books were mainly bought by men - I have several much older lesbian friends that have told me about buying those books in as quick and rushed a manner as possible) and writers such as Ann Bannon have discussed the many thank you letters that they got from housewives with a secret. The Children's Hour came out in 1962 but more importantly several studies (many bestselling) discussed lesbianism. However going a step further biographies such as Jane Bowles and Patricia Highsmith discuss Moms that are very aware and concerned their daughters are lesbians (in a letter in 1935, Bowles discusses her Mom telling her to get over this "Lesbian business").
So now that we rule that out, we come to the tools comment. This is where the writers show how sharp they are. In the mid-40's, servicemen came back from WWII looking for their jobs. This included factory jobs which women had done while men were gone. Where once it was considered a woman's patriotic job to help out the war effort now it was considered the right thing to do to give it up. Many women said no knowing this represented an independence they had never known - a chance to be their own person and not be defined by marriage and kids. So some interesting propaganda started up. All of a sudden a woman wanting to work with tools was maybe a lesbian (unless needed for the war effort). This became a way of making women feel guilty and not show reluctance in quitting. It worked. A woman playing with tools became a scarlet letter (in this case one of lesbianism). This thought process was overturned in the 1970's and with a vengeance.
So why does Betty say that comment. I think it hints at a disdain for her life. I think she feels imprisoned. Here is a smart woman who is simply housewife and mother. She feels a disconnect in both positions. This was not unusual and it was many women like this who would end up getting involved in Women's Liberation groups. When Betty cracks on her daughter, I think she sees a freedom in her daughter that she wishes she had. But here is the thing. The crack folds back on itself for the very thing she is insulting is the thing she desires (no - not to be a lesbian but to have control of her life).
So why would people act shocked at the line. I think there is a belief that some how the Leave It To Beavers and Dick Van Dyke Shows reflect reality. That people were ignorant of homosexuality (male and female). Some people were. But many weren't. In reality this was a time when people were really starting to crave sexual honesty. It would soon spill into the counterculture. The times were, as Bob said, a changin. But even 30 years before Mad Men took place people were highly aware of and discussing "lesbians". We should give our elders some credit.
Thanks!
That is a very enlightening view, thank you very much for posting it!
Yes, the "L" word was used then
Some here say it was used in the show "casually", but really it was a private conversation between a married couple. Betty Draper is known in the show as having biting remarks about her children (I'm not sure motherhood is one of her favorite things), and Don sure doesn't help on the domestic front...
And my take on Joan's response to her room-mate's confession was typical more of Joan's style of denial, ignore and keep things as she likes them. I don't get the impression that her character would not know about lesbianism, and, in fact, she may very well have known the truth about her room-mate's feelings and used them to her advantage.
Mind you lesbian was used more in hushed or accusatory terms by others. My mother used it once when she was talking about fear that the neighbor was one. I remember it sounded like a bad thing the way she said it.
The second-wave feminist movement in the '70s politicized the term as to "reclaim" the word as a good thing rather than a derogatory term, and also to define lesbian from gay (which is a male homosexual). Consequently, the word has found its way into vocabulary by many more, and the word doesn't seem to get stuck in as many people's throats as it used to.
Well said
Thank You Ediana for your comments. I believe your post was the first intelligent one I have read on AfterEllen in years.
You have renewed my faith in AfterEllen posters.
The measure of Love is what one is willing to give up for it.
BMC Connections
I've been an admiring but not devoted Mad Men fan, so I'm surprised that I missed the fact that Betty's character went to Bryn Mawr. Interesting! well, at least to me, since I'm a Bryn Mawr alum (class of '81). I wonder if they decided to do that because Maggie Siff, who played Rachel, is an actual BMC grad.
Ruth in Chicago
My mother, who was in
My mother, who was in her early twenties in 1963, thought it was out of left field and would not have been used. To contextualize where she was coming from, though, she had a male friend who dated men at the time and would have never thought to call him gay. Additionally, my grandmother once remembered to me all the rumors surrounding Katharine Hepburn and Laura Harding during her adolescence in the 30's without ever using the word lesbian. So I don't know. They could be a little more conservative than most.
In the 60s our preferred
she would have said
queer not lesbian. but queer might not sound as bad today as it would have then. by using the term lesbian it got the point across to the modern day viewer.
i recommend this movie to hear from women who lived through the 1950s/60s.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forbidden_Love:_The_Unashamed_Stories_of_Lesbian_Lives
nobody is claiming that betty didn't know what a lesbian was or the word just that she would not have used that term in that context. but at the end of the day the show is still talking to people from the 21st century and an innuendo that betty might have really used would probably go over most people's head today.