Amy Poehler signs on as the Lunch Lady: Serving justice and serving lunch

The enigmatic lunch lady.

Keeper of mystery meat.

Creator of apple-cheese surprise.

Nightmare fodder.

(That was awesome.)

Superhero.

Wait, what? Yes, finally, we will find out what the lunch lady does after she scrapes that last bit of crust from the sneeze guard every day, thanks to a new graphic novel series by author and illustrator Jarrett J. Krosoczka. Meet Lunch Lady.

Lunch Lady and the Cyborg Substitute and Lunch Lady and the League of Librarians will be released July 28. Here’s a video preview, with theme music courtesy of Recess Monkey Town.

The story focuses on three students — Hector, Terrence and Dee — who suspect that the mild-mannered cafeteria server at Thompson Brook School has more on her plate than Salisbury steak.

Will the kids discover Lunch Lady’s arsenal of specialized weapons like fishstick nunchucks and a lunchtray laptop? What evil lurks in the hearts of the malicious librarians? How much does cafeteria cohort Betty know?

If the prospect of a hero in a hairnet isn’t enough to get your pork & beans moving, try this: Amy Poehler has signed on to star as the almighty server of justice in a move about the spatula-wielding superhero called — wait for it — Lunch Lady.

And we’ve just learned that another witty woman, Sarah Haskins, will pen the screen adaptation.

If you’re not familiar with Dorothy Snarker’s Fake Internet Girlfriend, do your feminist funny bone a favor and spend some time viewing Haskins’ brilliant Target Women.

With Poehler and Haskins on board, Lunch Lady may turn out to be the superheroine we’ve been asking for. And a very funny one at that.

Are you as excited about Lunch Lady as I am? What’s your favorite school cafeteria memory?