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Tweeting tips for Tila Tequila
Dear Tila Tequila, The Internet is buzzing today because you "came out" as a lesbian on Twitter last night. I believe the exact succession of revelation went something like this:
As my good friend Dorothy Snarker says, the LGBT community is a bit of an "umbrella for sexual otherness." Whether you identify as lesbian or bisexual, there is plenty of room for you under the canopy. So, hello — again. You didn't just Tweet about being a full-blown lesbian last night, though; you also Tweeted about your time on A Shot At Love. You accused MTV of drugging you and forcing you to choose a man (Bobby) in the first season when you really wanted to choose a woman (Dani). That's a lot of yikes, my friend. If it's accurate, I'm really sorry you had to go through that.
I'd like to congratulate you for "coming out," on what was apparently a tumultuous path toward sexual discovery. Let me repeat myself: The LGBT umbrella is big enough for lesbians and bisexuals, but if the "lesbian" label feels more authentic to you, well, use it to live your best life! (That's a phrase I borrowed from my other good friend, Oprah.) To help you on your way, I'd like to give you a few tips on how to begin living your best life — on Twitter. Tip #1: A Tweet becomes a Twat when you Tweet on repeat. You have Tweeted 23,360 times. Let me put that into perspective for you: I joined Twitter the day after it launched in Spring 2007, and have kept up a pretty inane and consistent stream of Tweets with my BFFs since then. Yet I have only Tweeted a total of 5,848 times. Last night when you announced that you are a lesbian, you created a Tweet Storm. There's a reason Twitter restricts messages to 140 characters. If you find that you need to Tweet, say, 300 times to get your point across, perhaps you should write a blog post instead. Tip #2: All of your Friends may be Followers, but all of your Followers are not Friends. Tweets are intended for the public at large. In your case, the 262,034 people who follow you. Text messages are intended for your Friends. Friends are people with whom you have a reciprocal relationship built on trust and affection. Followers are people who click "follow." Friends are people with whom you can over-share. Followers are people who appreciate a little discretion. Just, as an example, this is over-sharing.
You should be Texting your Friends with this information, not Tweeting your Followers. Tip #3: Using all caps all the time is crying wolf. You remember the story of the boy who cried wolf, don't you? He kept shouting "WOLF!" when it wasn't true. Then when a wolf really did attack him, he cried for help, but no one came to his rescue. The same principle works for capitalization. Let me demonstrate. Suppose this is your morning Twitter stream:
Do you see how that last thing, about you being eaten alive by a bear, loses its punch because you've been screaming since breakfast? Imagine if everything was properly capitalized and punctuated. An all caps tweet at noon about a bear eating your face would probably cause the proper amount of alarm. Perhaps someone would call animal control and you could be saved. Tip #4: If you feel like XXX Tweeting, close your laptop and walk away. We've all been there, late at night with a little too much, er, tequila in our system, and suddenly Tweeting something inappropriate sounds like an hilarious idea. This is an important life lesson: Sober people don't think drunk shenanigans are funny. If it seems like a good idea, but falls under the XXX category, it is not a good idea. Don't Tweet it. In fact, don't text it. If you need to get it out, write it in a journal. Tip #5: The only person who sounds cool saying "XOXO" is Gossip Girl. And Gossip Girl is only cool because she is fictional. I think if you will employ these Twitter tips and use a little discretion when you address the public, you will find people a lot more sympathetic to you and your plights. Humans really do enjoy watching other humans succeed. It is the only way to explain The Biggest Loser. Again, re-welcome to the umbrella. THIS RAIN SURE IS SOMETHING! Love, StuntDouble Submitted by on November 12, 2009 - 4:00pm. |
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HAHA - this cracked me up so
HAHA - this cracked me up so much.
I AM TURNING ON THE TV TO WATCH SPONGEBOB. I HOPE IT'S FUNNY TODAY. Pure genius.
Here's my $0.02
Ok I gotta say it, the tweets were hilariously 7th grade-ish. But on a more serious note, I'm one of those people who never really liked Tila Tequila but I certainly don't hate her. I felt that her acting like an airhead was always just a show she put on for fame and MTV. In fact if you look at a few of her older blog post such as her rantings and poetry, she's not dumb at all and surprisingly articulate. Even moments throughout the show, you can tell none of this really seems sto make her happy, it all came off as just one giant act. Which in my eyes makes how she allowed herself to be potrayed in the media even more sad.
But being a bubble gum poppin' singer and reality tv star leaves no room to be yourself. Obviously I don't know her personally, but I really do think she chose the life of being MTV's bitch over than the dorky girl who loves quantum physics. (If you can find her super old blog post, she talks about quantum physics, no link sorry).
So congrats for coming out TT, even though it was way to much tweeting and a rather odd way to do so. Everyone deserves to be happy so I hope you find what you're looking for.
-------------------------------------------------------
The lonliest people are the one's who always spoke the truth.
Chances are, it will be
SpongeBob rocks.
Tila? Man...I don't know about this. We've been burned before.
Being desperate for attention and fame hungry doesn't look good on gay OR straight people...
...so, calming down and just living an authentic life will do you wonders. Maybe step outside of the camera frame for a few months...then let us know how you feel.
Oh my.
Tila would improve
if she douched.
She needs to go away. She's a fucking train wreck, and her private parts probably are too by now.
Ick.
*Totally dig Sponge Bob ;)
Agreed, 500%..... When I
Agreed, 500%.....
When I heard the news, my first thought was "Ewww...."
I call BS
I'm pretty sure Dani had a site on MySpace or Facebook or something...she could have gotten her contact info if she wanted to.
And, why the hell would MTV make her pick Bobby? Doesn't compute.
Finally, who cares if she's a lesbian? This is a pretty sad attempt to cling onto those 15 minutes. If any of this were true, and she wanted a few extra minutes of fame, the best plan would be to go to a news source, tell them, and let them fricking report it.
Exactly!
That is what I thought! If she really loved Dani as she says and is bold ENOUGH to TWEET it she could have messaged her ...Uhm hello she got Myspace ....Google her name or Bing it or something and you are bound to get how to contact Dani.I mean, really? Tila is not serious or at least she comes off as not serious.
Haha I was brushing my teeth
Haha I was brushing my teeth when I read the sample Twitter stream and almost choked. Maybe the bear can figure out the program settings on the new treadmill.
...people are going to skew and censor you in order to make the idea of you better represent whatever agenda they've decided you'll promote -Randy Harrison
..
I'll say this much.
yup
Awww Come On! About Tila Tequila, Twitter, And Media & MTV
Did I wake up in another world?
Are F kidding me?
twitter me @ www.twitter.com/brownskinfaery
Another rule
Thankfully she's rid of
*sniff sniff*
does anyone else smell a publicity stunt? pfffft, and im sure dani's wayyyy over tilas bottom shelf tequila. she's been drinking cabo wabo far and wide since the end of that goddess forsaken show.
p.s. lmao @ Tip #1: A Tweet becomes a Twat when you Tweet on repeat.
so true!
"Some women can't say the word lesbian...even when their mouth is full of one." - Kate Clinton
I love Tequila.
GROSS.
.
funny blog, though.
_______________________________________
Because the Wind is High...it Blows my Mind.
ooooooownnnn she's a
ooooooownnnn
she's a bitch and I love it!
I don' know if it is forever, but I'm happy she came out as a lesbian :)
tila tila lesbian tequila
Serious Issues
I had to look at her twitter page even though I'm not following and saw this
WOW! Ummm...just wow! Thats all I have to say about what i saw in lesbian room at www.TilasHotSpot.com wow...speechless about 4 hours ago from web
Hey StuntDouble
season 1
Whoops!
lol, really?
wow
I totes thought you'd made these up but apparently she is REALLY tweeting such shit. Even that about Dani or MTV ("BTW FOR YOUR INFO: MTV "A SHOT AT LOVE" MADE ME PICK BOBBY! I WAS IN LOVE WITH DANI BUT THEY MADE ME PICK BOBBY! THATS WHY I QUIT!!! POW!").
Dunno if I'm supposed to lol or cry right now.
tila tequila
can someone please shut her up, like now! im embarrassed for her..shes acting like an immature psycho
k youre gay now we get the point you switched teams..too bad for us
lol
lol Angela, agreed!
Lol and i have a
Lol
and i have a question: Why in the hell,if the made her pick bobby would she try again with the second shot of love.
-Tila speaking to herself
"F--k them! They didn't let me pick the person i really wanted, i hate them!. Oh well, lets do it again so they can make me stay with the person i don't want twice. Spongebob is starting now! Too much thinking for today. "
Si la vida me enseño a quererte,
Asi me enseñara a olvidarte.
LOL
I used to follow her on twitter, but she tweeted WAAAAY too much. It was insane and annoying.
I watch the show only because i'm a "reality" junky
She might be telling the truth or she might be lying. I don't really care either way lol
Wow StuntDouble...
Had A Great Time Reading This... You Are Hillarious...
Why is it that we always want what we cant have... and always have what we dont really want?
Such a lie, I stopped
Anyone else feeling
an Anne Heche vibe with her?
I never cared much for Tila and her publicity stint as MTV's big bisexual reality star. I have to admit that she'a not the kind of "celebrity" exposure I'd choose to shine a light on our community. But to each their own I guess. I'm just not anymore excited about this news than I would have been 5 minutes ago had I not read it at all
Oh, come on.
Let's not be unnecessarily harsh toward Anne Heche.
Maybe you're right
At least Heche didn't fawn after Ellen because it was a "cool" thing to do. At this moment I'd rather have her on our team, than Tequila any day
Agreed!
DO. NOT. WANT.
Oh really?
*Goes over to find wallet, picks out her Lesbian card*
*Burns it*
I refuuuuuuuse to share anything in common with this woman, ANYTHING!!!!!!
*Heads over to the "labels are for clothes" camp*
And just because...
*Flips table*
What.
Do you really do that all
Do you really do that all the time? LOL
You're funny, poor tables tho
Si la vida me enseño a quererte,
Asi me enseñara a olvidarte.
I like too..
I like to read the comment section(don't we all?).. and then.. whenever I see your posts, I laugh.
*picks up table*
Tila Tequila you crazy person!!!!!!!
hahahahaha this is hilarious. she sounds like a desperate 7th grader, and this is worse for us than Katy Perry.
but I always loved watching A Shot At Love because it was always so ridiculous and entertaining. if she was on another show... I'd totally watch it :D
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
Wow!
This is the best laugh i've had all day. The weird thing is I started following Tila on twitter yesterday just as all these tweets were going on, I was like wtf?? *unfollow*
*When it comes down to having the choice of being right or protecting you, i'll be wrong every single time, because that's just who I am* - Ashley Davies
And Im sorry...
but no amount of money or "cajoling" from MTV could make me pick foxy Dani *swoon* over penile Bobbi (ewwwww!). But then again IM a real lesbian.
Suck it Tila.
No, seriously, suck it.
And by "it", I almost regrettably mean a penis.
i mean seriously?!
she's friggin delicious
kthnx.
"Some women can't say the word lesbian...even when their mouth is full of one." - Kate Clinton
For the love of god can
For the love of god can anyone find pictures of Dani in a Firefighter outfit!!???!!???!!
*swoons*
Don't you mean that...
all i can say is:
all i can say is: "FUCK...YEAH!"
excuse my language...but damn.
god bless america
"Some women can't say the word lesbian...even when their mouth is full of one." - Kate Clinton
From the mountains, to the prairies...
BLESS YOU!!!
OH my damn, ugh, errrrrr, mmmm...
MARY POPPINS!!!!
click. save. stare.
mmm...
i live in fort lauderdale.
just a stones throw away from miami-dade where she works.
and im pretty sure that picture just made me a stalker.
"Some women can't say the word lesbian...even when their mouth is full of one." - Kate Clinton
..
OMJC.
that is all.