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The worst movies ever to grace the screenA few weeks ago, I called Sandra Bullock's rom-com, All About Steve, part of her comeback tour. Boy, did I get that wrong. What I didn't know at the time was that All About Steve has been collecting shelf dust for two years, because the movie's financial backers didn't know what to do with it. After Bullock's stellar box office showing in The Proposal and Bradley Cooper's surprise success in The Hangover, the good folks who brought us Miss Congeniality 2 decided to go ahead and release Steve.
It came out Friday to the worst Rotten Tomatoes ratings I have ever seen in my life.
It was late afternoon on Friday before it moved past a zero percent approval rating. Still, Steve brought in over 13 million dollars on opening weekend (though there is no record of how many people demanded their ten bucks back after the movie was over). So, to celebrate its moderate success, and the addition of another terrible film into the single-digit Rotten Tomatoes review canon, we bring you our list of 11 Worst Movies Staring A-List Ladies: 11) I Still Know What You Did Last Summer — There are so many things wrong with Jennifer Love Hewitt's sequel to I Know What You Did Last Summer, including the movie title. You still know what I did? Awesome, because if you stopped knowing what I did, that probably means you suffered some sort of head trauma. Which, come to think of it, is kind of what it feels like to watch this movie.
10) Basic Instinct 2 — No amount of leg-crossing and uncrossing could save Sharon Stone's Basic Instinct sequel. We don't need to revisit our favorite femme fatales in the theater; we've got DVD players for that.
9) First Daughter — Remember when Katie Holmes was still trying to shake the Joey Potter type-casting? Yeah, this movie didn't do it. It was a good film, though — when it was set in Europe and starred Mandy Moore and was called Chasing Liberty.
8) The Perfect Man — Or, as I like to call it, "That movie where Mr. Big cheats on Carrie with Heather Locklear, thanks to the shenanigans of Lizzy McGuire and that girl who looks like the sister of that boy from Jerry McGuire." I just saved you the time of reading the synopsis on Netflix! You're welcome.
7) Swept Away — It's a good concept, right? Madonna and Jennifer Aniston in a romantic comedy? Sadly, you would waste less time watching A League of Their Own and all ten seasons of Friends than you would spending 90 minutes with Swept Away.
6) Legally Blonde 2 — Another excellent movie gone to hell in the sequel hand basket. Everything adorable about Reese Witherspoon's Elle is amped up to unbearable. It serves up every dumb blonde stereotype the first movie so campily combated.
5) Because I Said So — This isn't the worst movie ever made, but when you consider that it stars Diane Keaton, Mandy Moore, Lauren Graham and PiperPerabo , and it still leaves you feeling unsatisfied in the end? Well, that makes it top 5 material.
4) Catwoman — When Halle Berry spends two hours in a leather suit and the movie is still unwatchable, you know something is wrong.
3) Elektra — I blame Jennifer Garner's Elektra for the fact that there's still no live-action Wonder Woman movie. Garner is an action rock star and Elektra is a serious bad-ass, but Elektra's screenplay was the worst. Its failure at the box office has left investors feeling timid about superhero movies with female leads, and that is unacceptable.
2) I Know Who Killed Me — Oh, Lindsay Lohan, I don't know who killed you, but I know what movie tried to kill your career. (Hint, it wasn't Mean Girls!) I Know Who Killed me is one of those movies you assume can't get worse as the story progresses, but then it absolutely does. It is one giant clusterfrak, wrapped around a stripper pole.
1) Gigli — This movie about a lesbian who falls for a man is not only commonly accepted as the worst movie ever made, it's also responsible for bringing together Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, and as we all know, that was the beginning of the trend of combining celebrity couple names. For "Bennifer" alone, Gigli deserves the number one spot.
Did anyone see All About Steve this weekend? What movies do you think deserve a spot on our list? Submitted by on September 8, 2009 - 5:00pm. |
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I feel ill.
Phew those reminders are dangerous to your health.
Poor Sandra Bullock. As awesome as she is (and she is awesome!) - what was the last well received (generally) film she's been in?
I think she has been getting a bit of that Sarah Michelle Gellar Syndrome. Being that she's a decent actress who is suddenly making a sucession of meh to oh lord kill it with fire films.
ha ha ha
Welll...
Any David Lynch movie. And yes, that includes Mulholland Drive. I'm sorry, I just don't like the man. There's being weird and then there is trying too hard to be weird. I can totally picture him sitting in one of the backrows of a movie theater, giggling while audiences try to figure out the double meaning behind everything. Answer: there isn't one. He's just messing with your head.
Showgirls - a movie so bad it is comical. I could watch Gina Gershon's abs for hours though.
The Naked Gun and any of its spin-offs. I don't find anything remotely funny about stupid humor. A man gets his hand stuck in a closing window, then leans up against a freshly painted wall. Pardon me while I roll my eyes. I like my humor witty and clever, thank you very much.
Any Jean-Claude van Damme flick - People say he's Belgian. I say: if you're not living here at least 50% of the time, we're revoking your passport.
Any US remake of a French hit: Les Visiteurs (The Visitors), Mon Père, Ce Hero (My Father The Hero), A Bout De Souffle (Breathless). A good croissant does not necessarily make for a good croissandwich.
And no, I have not seen All About Steve. Or any other movie on the list. Not planning to either. :)
Thank you!
There's being weird and then there is trying too hard to be weird.
My thoughts exactly and one of the reasons I will not watch anything by Quentin Tarrantino aka the most overrated director of the last 2 decades.
One day, the grammar police will kill them all.
Quentin Tarrantino aka the
Quentin Tarrantino aka the most overrated director of the last 2 decades.
Finally! Someone said it! With one exception though, Jackie Brown. Pam Grier can´t just mess up anything.
What Showgirls?
What *faoms at mouth* Showgirls is one of the best *horrible it's good* movies made.
I too can stare and Gina's abs...amoung other things, like her hat.
*sigh*
The Birdcage was an okay
Totally agree, it was likeable.
Yes, it wasn't so bad, thanks to Robin Williams mostly. But it wasn't half as good as the original, in my humble opinion. :)
I think a movie should only be allowed to be remade if it can be improved, if there is added value of some kind. Most remakes fail miserably when it comes to that.
Yes, Yes, Yes!
And if you remake anything with a Hepburn in it, you should be taken out and shot.
One day, the grammar police will kill them all.
Finally!
Somebody who doesn't like Mulholland Drive. I watched it twice and still did not feel, you're right he tried waaay too hard to be weird that it ended up being weird but not in a good way. Of the remakes, I just read a dreadful news that Will Smith secured to rights to Bienvenue Chez Les Sh'tis, I almost cried.. why can't people just read subtitles?? Or learn French damn it! There's also the horrible remakes of Diner de Cons, 3 hommes et un couffin, Le Comte de Monte-Cristo.... it goes on and on...
"You've been staring at my goldfish all afternoon" Domino
Haha
I love to watch David Lynch movies over and over and attempt to figure out what is happening....especially Lost Highway. And Showgirls is a horrible movie, but still watchable and entertaining, I find.
"When you stop talking, you start communicating." - Joss Whedon
haha david lynch
Mulholland Drive just made me mad- at myself for spending those 2 hours watching it, and then subsequently for thinking about it and trying to discuss it with other people. My roommate in college had to watch it for class, and even then, no conclusions. Good to know it wasn't me.
I couldn't watch Showgirls because I can't picture Jesse Spano like that :P
But I must say, I do like Quentin Tarantino.
** http://NewzByYumz.blogspot.com **
I saw All About Steve this
All About Steve
I saw it this weekend and enjoyed it too. It was not made to appeal to critics, but it is a well executed feel-good movie with some surprisingly original elements infused with actual humor.
Anyway, one of my ancestor's music was in the movie and is on the soundtrack, so as far as I'm concerned, everybody should at least buy the soundtrack! :D
I still love Sandra
I haven't seen All About Steve, but I'm scared now to even rent it when it comes out on dvd. I don't want to see Sandra Bullock in a train wreak of a movie.
She should go back on doing action again. Maybe Speed 2...Wait...Oops, I think she did that already. Man, she needs to fire her agents quickly.
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"Vivono nella speranza"
What about Glitter...
Now that was a bucket of crap if i ever saw one
So bad...it's bad
Mariah Carey's ego was at an all time high with Glitter. I can't believe that movie didn't go straight to television or VHS/DVD. Well, I can't believe someone decided to even make it in the first place and then to throw in Mariah Carey!
My personal nomination has to be The Blair Witch Project. I remember all the hype about the movie, and then it practically turned out to be something my arthritic grandma could make with her camcorder.
Never Saw Glitter
That bad huh?
Technology Will Lead To The Demise Of Civilization As We Know It.
A kind soul...
has uploaded it onto youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2OcApqFzhw
Try not to cringe. ;)
I really tried...
first 10 mins is not that bad, I even thought I could watch it till end... sorry KVT, I really tried not to... but... yeah... :) I gave up on the 5-min of the 2nd clip.. there is only so much a girl could take... lol
oh hohohoh
oh my god.. hahahahahha.. that was funny :D
very cool and cruel coments// but basic instinct is actually one of my favorite movies
i mean wow sharon stone driving a fancy car, driving so fast.. walking like a lady in the i donno which century.. acting with confidence, not caring about anyone.. i mean that was wow... the
CADREMENTmmm.. i mean the way the movie was taken, the shots the cameras everything was amazing.. the colors of the backgrounds were all grey, white, black.... WHERE CAN U FIND A MOVIE WITH BEAUTIFUL BACKGROUNDS... mostly the writers and the producers think that if we saw the actors we wouldnt care about the backgrounds, but in this movie, every thing was perfect... and who was the killer?the psychologist!!! he was so cold in sex... men are never cold in sex BUT HE WAS wow
that is a cool movie
Oh
Yes, I kinda do agree with you.
I liked Contact.
I was reading a thread on a forum where people were debating the film and for some reason it made me want to watch it again. I remember thinking it was a good film, a bit anti-climatic but nowhere near as bad as people made out.
Jodie Foster is another woman who could end up doing average to shoddy films (rare as it is) but her performance is usually stellar.
The Last Sect
100% Agreed
That was exactly what I did too. Damb movie stunts, they got me good too.
I guess I'm shallow as well, how sad :(
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"Vivono nella speranza"
i still know what u did the last summer
Meh i vote 'my best friends girl' and 'good luck chuck'
Swept Away
Ok, Swept away is one of the worst movies ive ever seen. It changes tone a bout 20 times. Starts off as a (bad) Comedy, but with a cute and nice lead guy, then it changes to shipwreck movie, then the guy turns in to a prick and macho guy king of the island type (i think it was supposed to be a turn of events for madonna, but it was totally over the top) then it turnd into like a horror with the guy chasing madonna, then a love story as they get together, the madonna inxepicably turns into warrior hunter woman, the it turns into a tragidy as they are rescued and then separated by an unfortunate series of events ( a la the letter was lost, they just missed each other, he thought she tought wrong etc) and te ending is really sad. Throw in madonnas accent, not quite sure what it was supposed to be, and really, worst movie ever.
i have to add Batman and Robin, but then again, alicia silerstone...
lmao yeahh gigli is pretty
lmao yeahh gigli is pretty bad but unfortunately I watched Legally Blonde 2 many times...and enjoyed it xD
Don't argue with my superior wisdom, okay? -Dana Fairbanks <3
I liked I Know Who Killed
I liked I Know Who Killed Me. Mainly because I watched the movie unlike the majority that said they hated it.
It is a really good watch once movie.
Elektra was good too in fact I have it on DVD.
-I speak in random thoughts
I liked this movie too
Mr. Wrong. Definitely.
omg, yes!
Bad Movies
Dead Silence
Jeepers Creepers
Quarantine
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An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out? -Descartes
There's bad and then there's bad...
There are so many movies that are far worse than the ones on the list, like Plan 9 from Outer Space and Redneck Zombies, but they weren't supposed to be good. The ones on the list are definitely great picks for movies that were supposed to be taken seriously as movies, but I still think there are worse like most of Quentin Tarrantino's films. Someone needs to tell film students that if you're trying to be edgy/dark, you're not edgy/dark.
One day, the grammar police will kill them all.
Rabbit Test
Wait, What?!?
Jennifer Lopez was supposed to be a Lesbian in Gigli? I've never seen the movie, nor have I read a plot description of the film untill today, but I did see the tv ads, and she didn't seem to be very lesbian to me. She appeared to be pretty into the character Ben Affleck played. Maybe she was actually bisexual?
...Oh god, was it one of those "any lesbian can be cured with the right man!" movies? Please, please say no!
I didn't see it, but wasn't
ahhh!
she's a "lesbian"
who has a psycho ex who slices her wrist to get J-lo back then J-lo this speech about the vagina and why she's a lesbian then sleeps with Ben Affected! The End.
"You've been staring at my goldfish all afternoon" Domino
Totally
They should put your description of the movie on the back of the box.
The whole speech about the vagina made me feel more uncomfortable than I think I have ever felt in my entire life...
I think
I think its a fetish of his (Affleck that is) to turn lesbians into straighties.
that says a whole lot about him. Of all men Affleck, geez I rather do a monkey.
Elektra
Elektra wasn't THAT bad. I mean, it wasn't great but among the worst? Where's Glitter? Zoolander? :P
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AfterEllen Moderator
I agree. I liked Elektra
uh.. Zoolander was
uh.. Zoolander was brilliant! I loved how it poked fun at the modeling world and introduced us to Eric the Vampire. ;)
I own it on DVD and I watch it like all the time. Never saw it in the theater though.. the trailer was stupid and totally misrepresented the movie.
-I speak in random thoughts
you noticed!
when I first saw Aleksander in True Blood, I kept wondering where I had seen him before. Then I rewatched Zoolander recently and totally flipped! I'm in love with Eric hahaha lol gosh if I was straight I'd be a stalker hahaha
"You've been staring at my goldfish all afternoon" Domino
i agree
i loooooooved Elektra it was an awesome movie i realy don't think it should be on this list or maybe it's my love for woman action heroes
True feelings can never be put into words.
therfore when you can't explain how you feel about someone that's when you know..
Zoolander rocked!
Zoolander is one of the funniest movies ever! I still like to watch that and Ali G the Movie when I'm.... eh.... under the influence of something or another. And it still makes me laugh more than anything.
Zoolander?
That is one of the funniest movies ever made!! I heart that movie, I own it on DVD and rewatch it every now and then. It's absolutly ridiculous and hilarious.
Mugatu: "Hansel, he's so hot right now, Hansel" LMMFAO
"You've been staring at my goldfish all afternoon" Domino