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Home » Blogs » StuntDouble's blog » Lesbian Scientistics: "The L Word" teaser

Lesbian Scientistics: "The L Word" teaser

by
StuntDouble

After The L Word's new promo aired last week, our Scientistics team went sleuthing. We've been hearing that the final season will be Scooby-like, and the rumors seemed to be verified when the troubadour in the video informed us that if words could kill, we'd be dead.

Also, if you don't blink, you get these images from the promo:

Is that a dead body under a satin sheet and a mug shot background? Oh, we think so.

What strikes us as odd is the height of the probable murderer. We know from last season how tall an average criminal stands.

According to the promo flashes, this season's killer is going to be tiny. So, who could it be? We've narrowed it down to three, and given you their motives.

Any guesses?

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    • Submitted by
    StuntDouble
    on November 20, 2008 - 4:00pm.
    TAGS :: 
    zaine's picture

    haha

    Submitted by
    zaine (188 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 5:08pm.

    wtf? xD  tina is going to do something stupid but i dont think she'll go as far as killing her own child? would she?=O..  and hey maybe angelica gets a hold on kits gun again and shoot someone?=)

    Explorergal's picture

    Short-comings....

    Submitted by
    Explorergal (531 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 5:08pm.

     

    OMG  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA    I vote for Angelica......

    Actually, Jenny is probably the shortest....and she is the craziest...oh wait, no, her slave turned clone turned director is also short.  Maybe Jenny killed her or vice versa.

    Lezliemac's picture

    4'0 ?

    Submitted by
    Lezliemac (59 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 5:11pm.
    Jenny on her knees, begging and crying "nooo it was Sara Shuster/my dog", or something just as ridiculous..
    jordan-writes's picture

    Bette

    Submitted by
    jordan-writes (240 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 5:18pm.
    Bette is definitely going to kill someone. Bette is one crazy bitch. I think that she is crazier than Jenny. Jenny just lets her craziness show. Bette on the other hand hides it in the pockets of her power suits.
    lann88's picture

    mmmmmmm... power suits.

    Submitted by
    lann88 (62 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 5:22pm.
    mmmmmmm... power suits.
    Shelby's picture

    power suits

    Submitted by
    Shelby (44 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 5:43pm.

    haha i love the response " mmmmmmm... power suits."

    I think jenny killed her clone. at-least, i hope.

     

    ~Shelby Girl~

    chilaxing's picture

    hehehehe

    Submitted by
    chilaxing (292 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 5:32pm.

    hahaha lmao re Bette hiding her craziness in her power suits.

     

    Mostly Harmless's picture

      Ha, well said. You are

    Submitted by
    Mostly Harmless (116 posts)
    on November 21, 2008 - 11:51am.

     

    Ha, well said. You are a keen observer, jordan-writes

    Susan Gabriel's picture

    Frodo Baggins?

    Submitted by
    Susan Gabriel (186 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 5:30pm.

    Thanks for making me laugh today.

    www.SeekingSaraSummers.com

    tracy's picture

    Hmm... How tall is Angelica?

    Submitted by
    tracy (91 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 5:37pm.
    Hmm... How tall is Angelica? Kidding! Maybe Shay or Jarod? What's-her-name did set fire to WAX.
    Jay's picture

    !

    Submitted by
    Jay (383 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 5:38pm.
    CK's picture

    Hahaha who shot Mr.

    Submitted by
    CK (36 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 9:10pm.

    Hahaha who shot Mr. Burns.

    I would go for Jenny lol, I love jenny and her crazy ways.

    Sarah's picture

    It was Adele...

    Submitted by
    Sarah (415 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 5:40pm.
    ...on set. With the director's clipboard. Bam.
    Tash :)'s picture

    Aha!

    Submitted by
    Tash :) (78 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 8:12pm.
    I love the Cluedo reference!
    Nothing's picture

    It's Angelica

    Submitted by
    Nothing (468 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 5:43pm.

    at the planet with a gun. 

    Remember Kit's gun that everyone worried so much about Angelica finding?  Well, she probably found it.  Who'd she kill? Hopefully it was Jenny. 

    nobodygrl's picture

    Jenny vs Adele

    Submitted by
    nobodygrl (432 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 5:56pm.
    I still think Jenny is gonna kill Adele.  Yep.  If I was the gambling sort I would be running a book.  But I amn't.  So I'm not!
    Gia007's picture

    I've got it!!

    Submitted by
    Gia007 (46 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 5:59pm.

    It's Sounder, in the bedroom with a shovel...to kill Jenny's dumb ass.  Tell me I'm wrong!

     

     

     

     

    piebald's picture

    Yes

    Submitted by
    piebald (117 posts)
    on November 21, 2008 - 1:41am.
    This was my first thought... but Sounder II s probably much shorter than 4', even on hind legs...
    Gia007's picture

    my bad

    Submitted by
    Gia007 (46 posts)
    on December 26, 2008 - 9:35pm.

    I meant Sounder the first...now that was a big dog!

    kulhaha's picture

    The gun...

    Submitted by
    kulhaha (192 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 6:05pm.
    Here's something that's been bugging me for awhile...Kit threw the gun away in a dumpster....but it's still registered in her name...what if somebody found it and killed somebody with it? Maybe she's going to get framed for something. Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuun
    Xxaire's picture

    LOLOLOLOL

    Submitted by
    Xxaire (75 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 7:24pm.

    "Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuun"!

    I love it, plus I had EXACTLY the same idea!

    Do not judge, unless you want to be judged...

    invisicoll's picture

    You know...

    Submitted by
    invisicoll (33 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 6:12pm.

    I think Ilene Chaiken is killing my sensibility in the conservatory with her typewriter.

    Seriously, I think she starts each season by throwing darts at her DVD collection to see what the theme is going to be. I think we've covered:

    Season 1: Queer as Folk meets thirtysomething with some parts where the DVD player freezes.

    Season 2: Thomas Crown Affair (Liars! Cheaters! Stealing!)

    Season 3: Terms of Endearment (Dana)

    Season 4: Don't Tell Mom, the Babysitter's Dead

    Season 5: She must have landed on her L Word DVDs because season 5 was a complete meta rehash of the earlier seasons.

    Season 6: Clue. Or Scooby Doo.

    Sub.Textual's picture

    I think Ilene Chaiken is

    Submitted by
    Sub.Textual (101 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 7:30pm.

    I think Ilene Chaiken is killing my sensibility in the conservatory with her typewriter.

    Seriously, I think she starts each season by throwing darts at her DVD collection to see what the theme is going to be.

    Ha!  We do indeed have a winner.  I stopped tolerating it midway through last season and ordered HBO instead.

    I'm curious why you have bubblewrap on your feet however.

    invisicoll's picture

    Nah

    Submitted by
    invisicoll (33 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 11:05pm.
    It's just the angle/lighting. Just regular 'ol running shoes.
    riotgrrrljaz's picture

    it's probably a chick that got her heart broken from shane

    Submitted by
    riotgrrrljaz (96 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 6:14pm.

    it's probably a chick that got her heart broken from shane! i bet one of shane's ex's comes back and shoots shane. hey how tall is carmen? all i'm sayin is that shane better watch her fine ass this season!! haha, karma is a bitch shane! xD

    Sarah's picture

    Oooh, that's good.

    Submitted by
    Sarah (415 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 6:35pm.
    Isn't Carmen coming back this season? Scandalous.
    Kirsti's picture

    It can't be Shane under

    Submitted by
    Kirsti (189 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 8:06pm.

    It can't be Shane under that sheet cause her boobs aren't that big... This made me laugh so hard, I love you stuntdouble!! I think the murderer has to be Jenny...

    P.S you don't really think they'd kill someone, that'd be ridiculous right??

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------There is too much love in this world to have to deal with hate.

    BAS's picture

    Good point - also look at the size!

    Submitted by
    BAS (529 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 10:52pm.

    As most of the ladies are stick thin, I think that's gotta be Kit under that sheet.

    Course, that isn't necessarily the dead body, right?

    She killed someone before.  It's the last season.  Anything could happen.  She could kill them all.  Well except for that spinoff.  Okay Alice gets to live.

    1biglesbo's picture

    HAHAHA

    Submitted by
    1biglesbo (33 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 7:00pm.
    Sounder in the bedroom with a shovel!  Brilliant!
    Munchkin_licker's picture

    I reckon they'll kill off

    Submitted by
    Munchkin_licker (93 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 7:07pm.
    I reckon they'll kill off Shane.
    Model through it's picture

    I'll bet Alice gets killed

    Submitted by
    Model through it (143 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 7:11pm.

    Then in the Alice spin-off, she and Dana's ghosts go help help Life's Dectetives, Campbell and Reese solve crimes.

    "There is homophobia in every corner and pocket of this world, but at the core ... you just love someone and want to make mixedtapes for them" -Sara Quin

    Luciana's picture

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Submitted by
    Luciana (29 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 7:41pm.

    Angelica: Furious because she learned sign language for nothing.

    So true and so funny!

    Tash :)'s picture

    I'm kinda upset

    Submitted by
    Tash :) (78 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 8:27pm.

    that it's getting all dramatic, because it'll probably end up with a cliffhanger, and no one will ever know!!!

    But it'll be okay if there's lots of sex :)

    Why else do you think I watch it? :P

     

    How come the body's laid half seductively...?

    StunStatus's picture

    Nah I think Carmen, Cherri

    Submitted by
    StunStatus (79 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 9:49pm.

    Nah I think Carmen, Cherri Jaffe, Molly, Jenny, and that stalker chick from first season, are gonna kidnap and torture Shane... Sorry girl, We'll miss you 

    America is like Jessica Simpson... Sometimes she acts so dumb its embarrassing but how about those titties!

    ~*brittany*~'s picture

    lol i love your bill maher

    Submitted by
    ~*brittany*~ (153 posts)
    on November 21, 2008 - 4:45pm.

    lol i love your bill maher quote.

     

    "if i ever start to think straight this heart will start a riot in me."

    Lady Nova B's picture

    Revenge is a dog

    Submitted by
    Lady Nova B (39 posts)
    on November 20, 2008 - 11:55pm.

    Its probably most definitely Sounder the dog, who Jenny basically murdered for the sake of revenge against Stacy Merkin. It would be so funny to see Sounder shoot Jenny! lol...Or maybe its just one of Jenny's crazy imaginary dreams or a potiental tango that brings the death of a relatioship, i.e Tasha+Alice and Jenny+Shane..Or maybe Helena has became so bad ass that she has totally Thelma + Louise'd it out...Counting the days til Jan 18th.

     

    B.

    Firebolt's picture

    It was Angelica!

    Submitted by
    Firebolt (37 posts)
    on November 21, 2008 - 12:46am.

    No... I think it was Ilene Chaiken who strangled me with her twisted plot ideas.

    Seriously...

    I hope it was Jenny who killed Adele.
    ______________

    Life of an Indian baby dyke:
    The Freezing Flames

    LilyJadeRose's picture

    guys...

    Submitted by
    LilyJadeRose (675 posts)
    on November 21, 2008 - 1:44am.

    i am convinced it will be tasha.  tasha will be the one ending up dead.  either by some convient accident down in long beach or at the hands of that weird mousy girl alice is suddenly falling for.  but...it will be tasha.  i fear it! 

    ---------------------------------------------

    ~i am bisexual.  you are confused.~ 

    Come With Me (if you want to live) the forum: http://www.afterellen.com/node/31891

    &

    Klara's picture

    who's the victim?

    Submitted by
    Klara (155 posts)
    on November 21, 2008 - 4:55am.
    IF the body under the silken sheet is dead (why then in this laszive position? why no blood? why a silken sheet and not a cotton?), it's rather interesting who it is to give a clue about the murderer ;) well, in real life it would be, but as proven many times before, the l-word plot twists and turns always the most illogic way possible. I think its Kit though.
    chilaxing's picture

    DAWN DENBO

    Submitted by
    chilaxing (292 posts)
    on November 21, 2008 - 5:27am.

    Y'all forgot about Dawn Denbo, she has a lot to be angry about.

     

    regularjo's picture

    i think adele would kill

    Submitted by
    regularjo (71 posts)
    on November 21, 2008 - 7:23am.

    i think adele would kill jenny, not the other way around. jenny is a crazy freak who's incredibly self centered, but i don't think she'd  hurt anyone except herself. maybe she commits suicide.

    also, that body isn't wearing a bra. so it's either alice under that sheet, or someone was REALLY disappointed by the sex...

    Lacey's picture

    Jesus pose   Lulz

    Submitted by
    Lacey (341 posts)
    on November 21, 2008 - 12:58pm.

    Jesus pose

     

    Lulz

     

    And it's neither of my fave characters so I'm happy

    http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=22059764903

    aquaboi's picture

    Still laughing at learning sign language for no reason

    Submitted by
    aquaboi (4 posts)
    on November 21, 2008 - 4:10pm.
    I love all your guesses! I would say there is a Showtime cross-over and Dexter is coming for a visit, but he is too tall. Perhaps it is the season 2 (?) child welfare worker in the wheelchair coming back for revenge? Either that or the entire state of Arkansas became murderously pissed that L-Word children are being raised by same sex parents.
    nicole eggett's picture

    my guess

    Submitted by
    nicole eggett (135 posts)
    on November 21, 2008 - 4:38pm.
    i thinks it's angelica
    x.Lorna.x's picture

    Ilene Chaiken, in the studio, possibly with fire.

    Submitted by
    x.Lorna.x (92 posts)
    on November 21, 2008 - 5:21pm.
    After an angry mob of AfterEllen readers realise all this hype was for nothing =D If that did happen, you'd have to admitt it would be a pretty good way to generate publicity for the new season.
    eme's picture

    fakeout

    Submitted by
    eme (75 posts)
    on November 21, 2008 - 6:32pm.

    Maybe its another book that gets made into a movie.....Jenny shifts her focus to a revenge plot. But really the writers don't seem to be that clever or have that much control. 

    The spoilers that have leaked don't sound too promising for the season or the spinoff. 

    And that history poster should have said herstory. 

     

     

    Hawk's picture

    Ilene

    Submitted by
    Hawk (55 posts)
    on November 22, 2008 - 7:08pm.

    Count on Ilene to ruin the only true opportunities at lesbian stories.

    Any writer in Xenaverse Fanfiction could have done a better job with L Word than Ilene Chaiken.   

    After season one I only ever watched L Word because it was a lesbian train wreck.

    With each season Ilene disappointed me more than the season before.

    What a shame. 

    leash's picture

    CYBIL!

    Submitted by
    leash (4 posts)
    on November 24, 2008 - 1:53pm.

    LOOKS LIKE CYBIL'S BODY!

     Maybe Molly got sick of her! LOL


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