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Humiliation: lesbian pop culture styleIn David Lodge's campus comedy, Changing Places, the characters play a game called Humiliation, in which they take turns admitting their secret literary shame. Each player names the most embarrassing book they've never read, and when one character wins by admitting that he's never read Hamlet, he loses his job. The AfterEllen.com bloggers recently played our own game of Lesbian Pop Culture Humiliation, and when Sarah Warn, Malinda Lo and Trish Bendix read our confessions, we're probably all going to get fired. To make our impending unemployment worth it, you've got to play along! My secret lesbian shame is that I've never read or watched any Sarah Waters — not even the naughty bits, which I hear you can swiftly find online. (Gina Vivinetto admits this same lesbian sin.)
Reese DoWitt says the top three most embarrassing lesbian movies she's never seen are Bound, The Incredible Adventures Of Two Girls In Love and Chutney Popcorn.
Dorothy Snarker admits to never having watched a single episode of Bad Girls. (She played it down, though, by saying that she has watched plenty of Helen and Nikki fan videos.)
The Linster has never seen Work Out, doesn't own any Tegan and Sara, and hates country music. (Which, she says, is a uniquely Southern shame.)
Ms. Anthrope admits to never having seen Desert Hearts.
While Roc confesses that she doesn't own any Melissa Etheridge or Indigo Girls albums, Browne says she's never even heard an Indigo Girls song.
Once Browne got going, it was like she was clearing a lifetime's worth of pop culture shame off her chest. She was throwing out words like Xena, The L Word, Cagney and Lacey, Jeanette Winterson, Fried Green Tomatoes, Bad Girls, Personal Best, The Hunger, Bound, Go Fish, Mulholland Drive... We finally had to take away her keyboard before the Queer Police came to revoke her card. A lot of barbs went back and forth about Buffy, with some of us saying we've never watched, and others saying they'd punch us in the eye if we didn't Netflix it immediately. So, tell us: what's your secret lesbian pop culture shame? You'll feel so much better once it's off your chest. Submitted by on July 31, 2008 - 2:00pm. |
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I never ever ....
... heard a song from Melissa Etheridge
Do I even qualify as a lesbian anymore?!
I've never seen an episode
I've never seen an episode of The L Word.
REALLY?
Are you serious? Whoa you have to at least watch the videos on Youtube to redeem yourself hahahahaha.
me either. no
me either.
no showtime... bit of a problem sometimes. sigh. :)
Im not sure thats a good
Im not sure thats a good excuse, I live in England and i went to great lengths to watch them :o)
although I've never heard anything by the Indigo Girls or Tegan and Sara, never read anything by Sarah Waters and never seen Personal Best!! shame on me !!
X
oh my goddess! you have
oh my goddess! you have HAVE to listen to tegan and sara! really you dont know what you're missing!
Im so sad! listen or check out at least one of their videos in you tube. they're not just song writers, singers, musicians, comedians, producers, but humanitarians too!
here here :/
i've never watched an episode of the L word either :/ i know! i know! everyone tells me to watch it! :[ but sadly i have no showtime and i'm lazy to watch it online o.o lol i feel so shamed! X[ lmao<3
why? oh well... its not
why? oh well... its not that great anyway.
chimps in a bucket are cuter
Let's see here...
I haven't watched Work Out, don't own anything by the Indigo Girls or Tegan and Sara. I really haven't heard a song by the Indigo Girls other than Closer to Fine. Haven't watched most of what Browne mentioned she hasn't either. Haven't watched Bad Girls or Chutney Popcorn. I'm sure many more that I've seen around.
Although, I know I'm a bonafide lesbian!
Hmmm
I actually feel ashamed I have seen, read, and heard all of the stuff mentioned in this post and so so much more.....
- - - - - - - - - -
-Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
I blog, therefore, I am
I'm with ya...
Same Here!!
*raises hand*
Guilty. I have watched, listened and read just about everything everyone has said. The only thing I haven't done is read Sarah Waters, although I've seen the movies.
Meh.
Who you gonna be if you can't be yourself,
you can't get it from t.v., you can't force it on
anybody else.-- Ani Difranco
The only lesbian themed
Don't worry, darlin' - the
Don't worry, darlin' - the only lesbian themed movie that's actually GOOD is Bound. I've seen some of the others, and bits and pieces of more. You're quite right - you aren't missing anything. Unless someone is putting Mulholland Drive into this bag...that's a work of art, and should be seen - when you're in a good enough mood to take it. I looked at your profile, and as near as I can judge, you'll like Mulholland, if you see it.
The confessional folk music can be skipped as well, though I've heard very little of it myself - nothing I've heard has encouraged me in any way to delve deeper, and as I have no professional obligation to listen to music I don't like, I avoid that altogether. I don't understand why people feel obliged to listen to Melissa Etheridge, when they would never dream of listening to Bob Seger...
I'm with you on the tv as well- I've also not seen Bad Girls, but my occasional attempts to watch the L Word haven't made me want to go any further there, either.
Sad, isn't it? I mean, sincerely, it saddens me, a bit. I think we have to make our own culture - start some new cliches.
Surely not!
I'm with you on the 'not feeling obligated', but, I'm a bit confused by the comparison you make - I own plenty of 70s-era Bob Seger (good tunes) ... but, no Melissa Etheridge (someone I admire, who always comes across as a very nice person, but not so good tunes).
I meant no particular disrespect to either musician,
- or to their fans. They just seem to me, as someone whose musical taste is a little different, to be in more or less the same genre, and I would assume that if music were the only criterion, fans of Ms. Etheridge would also be fans of Mr. Seger, as well as of John Mellencamp and of Mr. Springsteen, who seems to be the root of that whole subgenre.
Instead, the overlap seems to be with Tegan and Sara and ...I don't know...the other people discussed on this thread. Which seems, to me, to make the actual music kind of beside the point. Which for me, it can't be.
I don't own any Indigo Girls CDs.
I have never seen Personal Best nor have any desire to ever see it.
I have never seen Bad Girls nor watched any vid clips on YouTube.
I don't know who Jeanette Winterson is...though I know I could google her this moment and find out.
I have not tuned into the current version of Battlestar Galactica.
Hmmmm, I am sure there is more that will come to mind as I think about it more.
I barely have any sort of membership card to any club...they are always temporary and never laminated...lol...so it is nothing new for me.
:P
Pye!
You really, really need to watch Battlestar Galactica! A year ago at this time I had not watched a single episode but once I started trying to catch up I couldn't stop. There's a reason so many called it the best show on TV. It IS that good.
I caught a lot of episodes online (legal sites).
I'm not a big Starbuck fan though.
_________
Forum Rules
AfterEllen Moderator
Bad Girls
Half of one episode?
I have seen every single episode of the British series "Bad Girls", and let me tell you, it is no "Desperate Housewives" or a crappy daytime soap like "Days of Our Lives". You cannot judge any show by watching only half of one episode. Rent a "Bad Girls" DVD at Blockbuster, or watch it for free on YouTube. The last episode of Season 3, where Helen and Nikki finally get to be together, is priceless. I am so looking forward to HBO's remake of the show (the "Americanized" version).
i've never...
I am willing to bet that
You're right, I don't
I don't own a Tegan and Sara CD, but my ex-roommate did! And I did listen to it a couple of times!
I'm not a big movie fan so even though I actually possess these DVDs, I have never watched Nina's Heavenly Delights or Gray Matters. Other than that, it's a little disturbing to me that I have read/seen/watched/listened to pretty much everything else everyone has mantioned.
Ah Ha! You're wrong about Tegan and Sara!
OK, so technically I don't own any Tegan and Sara CD's, but I have them on my iPod, where I frequently listen to them on a loop. So there! :) (I don't like to read, watch, or write about music in general, I only like to listen to it. Hence why I don't write many music-related blog posts.)
But here's my confession: I think Sarah Waters is a good writer, but I'm not a fan of her books; I didn't like Tipping the Velvet, and I haven't even read any of the others. Or watched the movies. They just don't interest me....I know, I'm crazy. But it feels so good to finally admit that!
Missing out
The 1st and 3rd parts of Tipping the velvet are very good although the third is my favorite. I never did like Kitty and there is just something quite yummy about Jodie May.
My confession um I went to a Melissa Etheridge concert and was mildly bored. I preferred The Coors any day. Oh and I'd rather go to the beach than to pride. But I do love women's week in P-Town!
oh yeah
Re: Well of Loneliness
My secret lesbian shame is that I have read The Well of Loneliness. (Actually, that's my secret English major shame, but I digress.) Seriously, that book is awful. And dull. And too long for it's own good. A complete lack of subtlety.
I'll just say it now: lesbian culture is terrible. And, for the most part, not worth it.
Here, I'll explain:
Literature - I will never read Sarah Waters, The Front Runner, or any other lesbian novel without having to grudingly force myself through it. My favorite book might be Nightwood, but Djuna Barnes isn't my favorite author, and Virginia Woolf is quickly losing ground to Haruki Murakami. Haven't any lesbian writers heard of good writing? The anxiety of infuence? Deconstructionism, Gorgian techniques, catechresis (cough, Jeanette Winterson)?
Film - One of the best lesbian movies ever made was done by two men. I don't see any vision in most of the other films (excepting the foreign stuff- Aimee & Jaguar, Spider Lilies, The Edge of Heaven, 8 Women- because apparently Americans fail). Where is the directing on par with Victor Erice, George Cukor, even Spielberg, for all his faults; the actress who can live up to Katharine Hepburn or Meryl Streep and Catherine Deneuve, who when they do deign to play gay make our cinematic history that much brighter; the good scripts? April's Shower was dumb, All Over Me was to teenage even too be a teenage movie (and the acting was bad), Desert Hearts wasn't structured well, The Hunger was visually beautiful but sickeningly self-aware, and I would not eat Nina's Heavenly Delights.
Television -This is a little more love/hate. Xena was great, but a little silly. I watch the L-Word, but Jenny the supposed-main-character Mary-Sue-of-Ilene-Chaiken (re: 5th season) is an embarrasment to writers and lesbians everywhere. ER's Kerry Weaver is great, but is lesbian really the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the show; that sure wasn't the case for the writers. Grey's Anatomy is a poorly-conceived pseudo-caricature of ER and if not for Brooke Smith I would never, ever watch, and even now I only watch the clips. 3Way is funny, but I wish it had better production quality (but then that probably adds to the hilarity). Buffy, eh. Everything else is basically a small storyline in a larger show that really doesn't say anything about lesbians except that we're here, sometimes, though we usually end up dead/raped/fired/dumped/pregnant/insane/straight.
Music - Alright, I'm not as big a buff on this, so I'll shut up now.
But really, it's a bit more shameful to admit to being a part of this culture than to admit to fellow lesbians that you haven't seen that one episode of, what was it, Picket Fences?
In conclusion:
Lily Tomlin is love.
And everyone should watch the Greta Garbo marathon on TCM on August 7.
bless you-
Bless you for saying everything I wanted to say, was almost afraid to say, but more intelligently....
And bless you for letting me know about the Garbo festival. I'd better clear space on my TIVO...
Garbo
I'm not going to sleep that day, not even the night before. I'm going to be glued to that set for a full 24 hours. And it's going to be awesome!
There's also a Katharine Hepburn marathon later in August, after the 20th, I think. You'll have to check on that one.
A humuliation of a different matter.
I read the Well of Loneliness, too. It's one of those books that I wish I hadn't read because it was a waste of time and meticulous symbolism reading ("Maybe by flower she means like vag or something... this book has got to have meaning somewhere!"). Ugh.
But Virginia Woolf, oh yes yes yes! Her book Orlando has been described as the "longest love letter in history" to her female lover, Vita Sackville West. I've said this time and time again, but I think if Hollywood made a movie about Virginia Woolf and Vita, it could totally be a dyke Brokeback Mountain. Mrs. Dalloway, which is almost plotless and takes place in one day, somehow translated into an Oscar winning film? If they can make a fantastic movie about that, hell, they can make a biopic of only the craziest, romantic, ground-breaking lesbian writer everrrr. For reals.
And Murakami! I am so surprised more lesbians don't know about Sputnik Sweetheart. Hell, I didn't know it was a lesbian-themed novel until I read the first page! But it was so fucking good, I almost couldn't believe that my one of my favorite male straight authors could write something so deep about a lesbian infatuation. Beats Well of Loneliness out of the fucking water.
Anyway, to answer the blog's post. Basically I have deep contempt for anything advertised as lesbian material. I just think that's so shallow and lame. Seriously, "The Incredible Adventures Of Two Girls In Love"... why would you title your work that? On the other hand, I didn't even know Tegan and Sara were gay until their third album came out (and I was a fan since the first). They don't create "lesbian music" and sing strictly about "lesbian love" and I think that's more respectable.
Maybe it's because I don't want to fall into a cliche or something but I mean, that's how I feel, and it's humiliating to admit that (especially to all you hardcore Etheridge and Sarah Water fans!).
No Indigo girls for me
*blushes reader*
Besides that, I agree with Mary and with Sister. Murakami's women are absolutly amazing in all his books. Sputnik Sweetheart is an incredible story, he is amazing creating enigmatic women. The loved the moment of realisation of Sumire, after Miu toucher her hair for first time. I couldnt stop reading. When I finished I was in a kind of reflective mood for a couple of days.
I also agree with Nightwoods and Djuna Barnes, not my favourite writer, but Nightwoods is probably one of my favourite books.
I also liked Yasunari Kawabata's Beauty and Sadness.
I can't agree with Sister
Read The Well of Loneliness
Read The Well of Loneliness when you're in a really good mood and have lots of chocolate available. Or some other sort of cheerful stuff... Bubble baths, bunny rabbits, Willow and Tara (before they got really not cheerful).
Geez, maybe I should read that again... It must've had some redeeming value. A horrifying snapshot of lesbian life in WWI? Waaaaaahhh!
I don't any Tegan and Sarah, but I love the Indigo Girls. And bring on the Xena!
Bad Girls Xena
Never seen an episode of Bad
Oh crap
Who is Sarah Waters, what is Chutney Popcorn and where is Desert Hearts?
I feel so unlesbianey...I do own all 7 season of Buffy though =)
My shame
I have never read Sarah Waters...
I've never seen an episode of Xena...
And I fell asleep during Go Fish...
:-/
re: Go Fish
You didn't miss much.
Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me...
Go Fish, me too!
I wouldn't call falling to sleep during Go Fish a secret shame, I think it's the best thing to do while that film is on!
I haven't read a single lesbian book. Wow, I am deeply shamed. Of the stacks and stacks of books I have strewn around only two of them are gay and I have only read half of one of them. That's terrible. If anyone can recommend any good sci-fi/fantasy lesbian novels and help me fix my problem I'd appreciate it!
sci-fi/fantasy
I'm a major sci-fi/ fantasy fan too, for a great fantasy novel Sing the four quarters by Tanya Huff, but a great lesbian sci-fi/ fantasy author is Jane fletcher she has a triology and a series out there. I love all of her work. her website is http://www.janefletcher.co.uk/. Also check out the bella books website.
My secret shame is that I think I've seen/ read everything mentioned here, and much more...although to be truthful i refuse to check out most lesbian book sections in the stores because I don't read romances and that is what is mostly there!
Ta
Lesbian Sci-fi
Have you read "Slow River" by Nicola Griffith?
I find myself suddenly at a loss for lesbian themed sci-fi that I can recommend!
Isis
I have never
I never listen to a song by the Indigo Girls and have never seen any of bound.
On the les side I watched bad girls when it was on and I making my way through the seasons of buffy.
wow tryin to recover from
wow tryin to recover from the absense of love for xena :p lol. sorry had to take a minute
hmm....well i guess i'm a pretty good gal for les pop culture. i have to admit to not having seen tipping the velvet
~*~"That's what we all dream about isn't it? Someone who looks so deeply into our soul that...they'd find something worth dying for."---Gabrielle~*~
I confess!
1. I could never get into
2. I don't like Sarah Waters.
3. I don't own a single Tegan and Sara CD.
4. Hmm... that's it, I think. Do I get to keep my membership card? :D
I've never..
I've never watched Buffy,Battlestar Galactica or read Sarah Waters stories.
I've never really liked Indigo girls' or Tegan and Sara's music.
I'm a huge fan of Bad girls.I think I've seen every episode they've made.This was cathartic, Stunt Double
It's as if a dam has been broken.