Welcome to AfterEllen.com!

Enter your AfterEllen.com username.
Enter the password that accompanies your username.
News, Reviews & Commentary on Lesbian and Bisexual women in Entertainment and the Media

How to win fans and influence people while keeping your clothes on

As Sarah pointed out last week, the more press Jennifer Aniston does for Marley & Me, the less she can keep her pants on.

I loved Jennifer Aniston on Friends more than I can express; not a Thanksgiving goes by when I don't bring a dessert to my grandma's and say, "First there’s a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard — which I made from scratch — then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!"

There's something about Aniston's movies, though, that just don't resonate with me — and no amount of half-naked magazine photos is going to change that.

But you know what might change it? Magazine photo shoots with puppies.

Rashida Jones and Natalie Portman solved the financial crisis with puppies, and I think puppies may just be the thing to counter the way magazine covers objectify women.

Let's just do a little test. Which of the following photos make you like these women more:

Charlize Theron at a movie premiere, or Charlize Theron in a baseball cap with a Cocker Spaniel?

Blake Lively at a charity event or in a ponytail with her rat, erm, tiny dog?

Jessica Alba at an awards ceremony or Jessica Alba in pigtails with her puppy?

Jessica Biel at the Oscars or Jessica Biel carrying her big ol' mutt?

Kate Walsh at the Emmys or Kate Walsh in a t-shirt with her Germa Shepherd?

I think the choice is clear: puppies.

Will a Labrador Retriever make you see Marley & Me? Or will you go because of the nudey pictures?

monica_ca's picture

Neither

Off the top of my head, I can't ever remember seeing a movie with Jennifer Aniston that I really enjoyed...so I'm going to save my 7 bucks.
GirlAnachronism's picture

$7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can't remember the last time a movie was that cheap round me you can't see a matinee for less than 8.75.

as far as jennifer goes she seems nice but all her movies fall very flat and after The Breakup travesty she's all outta chances with me. I do believe she was always a lesser friend too. 

 

 

 

"But I dream of flight, not to be as the angels are, but to rise above te smallness of it all. The smallness that I am. Against the daily death the iconography of wings."

bittybuffy's picture

Awwwwwwwww!

Awwwwwwwwww, look at the puppies. I've never liked a film starring Jennifer Aniston so I just won't bother, but if I had to pick it'd be the dogs all the way. Something about a fuzzy, four-legged friend turns me into a babbling idiot. Like straight women with children.
cosmiccowgirl's picture

She's good in Office Space.

She's good in Office Space. "I don't like to talk about my flair" is one of my favorite lines ever in a movie.
ThinkArt's picture

damn

damn, thats what i was going to say.
emmaxx's picture

My roommates and I just got

My roommates and I just got a puppy today! This is perfect timing!

And yes, I agree, the dog pictures are so endearing...

jc's picture

i'm a huge fan of the

i'm a huge fan of the book...so im definitely going to see the movie...and im hoping they do the book justice (which i highly doubt)...but still it will probably be a nice fluffy movie...perfect for the holidays. and i recommend to anyone who hasn't read marley and me too.

 

you stay. i'll stay. we'll be alone.

Briony's picture

Puppies for VP!!

If I'm honest, although i think puppies could save the world, no amount of puppies could make me like Jennifer Aniston. I like her work on Friends, but what about all the bat-shit crazieness that is oh so apparent with any mention of Brad or Angelina? I think we're all aware that it's not likely that the split happened before Brangelina did, and it's fair that she's still hurt, but there's only so much obsessing over Brad (and John Mayer) that she can do, particularly in the tabloids, before I think "Nope, she belongs in an asylum." (Plus, if it comes to taking sides, I'm confidant the majority of AE readers would support Angelina and her humanitarian ways...)
Joan's picture

i love Jen in Friends too,

i love Jen in Friends too, no doubt about that! and this line "First there’s a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard — which I made from scratch — then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!" will be forever remembered lol! but i might watch Marley & Me, again i might!

oh blake lively and umm her rat...tiny dog...that made ROFL..is that even a real dog...stare at it closely ahahaha! but soo true the pictures with their dogs in it are more appealing to me! (with the exception of Charlize and Blake)....umm ok fine i like all the pictures with dog or without! lol

jamlawgirl's picture

Puzzled

Not a huge Aniston fan (though Rachel was my favorite female "Friend"), but it seems like she's getting a lot of negative attention recently.

What is it about this woman that makes people not like her so much? She seems rather neutral to me. I can't get worked up about her one way or the other. Eh, guess I just don't get it.

But as someone already pointed out Office Space is awesome and she was in that movie, although she certainly was not the focus of it.

blue miles's picture

omg that is one of the best

omg that is one of the best friends episodes ever. watching ross try to eat the concoction is hilarious. i loooved rachel. but other than office space the only other movies i like are Derailed and The Good Girl. i really dont like any of her comedies which is weird considering how hilarious she was on friends. hmmm very weird. 

 

And remember that, in a world of ordinary mortals, you are a Wonder Woman!

Christa  O'malley's picture

How to win fans and influence people while keeping your clothes

I'm putting Jennifer Aniston in the same jar with holes in the lid that I have put Sarah Palin in.    If I didn't live in the Colorado Rocky Mountains I would throw this jar into the Pacific or Atlantic ocean.  When I hear Crazy Train "Ozzy" I think of Jennifer "I need all the attention" Aniston!

Anonymous's picture

Kerr-thud.

That was me falling out of my chair over seeing Jessica Alba in a bucket hat, hugging a dog as big as her. <3

Jennifer doesn't look like Jennifer in that GQ pica. I just watched And Along Came Polly the other day. Ughhh. It was cringe-worthy. I am a sucker for a movie with a golden retriever, though (Air Bud, Homeward Bound, the old Charmin and Canine Advantage commercials), so I'm not ruling it out just yet. =)

Inkblots

fallon ash's picture

Welllll....

While the puppies are absolutely adorable, I have to say that in the cases of Charlize, Blake, and Kate, there is a lovely abundance of cleavage in the non-puppy photos that makes me hard-pressed to pick a favourite... but the whole idea is still that you're in a classy way hiding more than you're revealing as to draw the imagination to what lies beneath. That GQ shot mostly makes me uncomfortably want to avert my eyes...
jen's picture

puppppies.

i definitely vote for puppies.  

you would think, given the fact that marley and me is a film about a dog and his owners, that any promotional pictures done would want to, perhaps, include said dog.  just a thought.  obviously jen's managers think nudity will make people want to see her films, since nothing else has worked previously. 

i have nothing against jennifer aniston being nude, however, i really thought she was hotter with a little more meat on her bones.   

gidge's picture

Actually my opinion is

that she would do better on TV. I think she's a better television actress than in movies, and while I don't mind some of hr movies, I think she should stick to where she became famous in the first place.

 The puppies are soooo cute :)

Casee's picture

Huh?

Oh, there are people in those pictures?  My bad, all I saw were the puppies.  The one of Jessica Biel with her dog is just adorable. 

My mom really wants to see Marley and Me, so I'll probably be going with her.  Honestly, I'm not a big fan of Jennifer Aniston.  She flies pretty low under my radar.  And her picture for GQ just makes her look like an awkward bunny rabbit.

Anonymous's picture

Haha! Awesome! The

.
avalaurent's picture

I think the problem is

we all watch her like it's Rachel playing other parts.  I thought "Good Girl" was well done and I also liked "The Breakup".  They both were kind of sad which is where she needs to be, instead of doing so many comedies, although I did love "Office Space".  I think oddly enough, she does better in dramas because you don't automatically compare her to Rachel, a part she ruled.

As for the dogs, I might be in the minority- I really don't want to see celebrities and their pets.  I kind of hate pictures like that- they remind me of that section in US Weekly, "They're just like US"  Oh, I hate that section!  I like half-naked, high-quality pictures of celebrities.  Their pets are for their personal lives, I want the glamour!

Lakela's picture

I agree...

I agree on both accounts.

I liked her as Rachel in Friends (I prefer Court though) but she will always be Rach to me, specially in Comedy.

And as for the dogs... I love dogs but there's something about celebreties+puppies that bothers me. Besides, so many dogs get abandoned every day... having a dog should be a thought-through decision and not a way to mimic your fave celeb. I dunno, it's complicated...

SunriseShadow's picture

Sure, puppies!

I absolutely agree: Puppies!

Except for Kate... she just looks breathtaking in that purple dress..  

You didn't even take your clothes of, yet you've never looked more naked.

Jill's picture

I love the book Marley & Me

Marley & Me is one of my all time favourite books so I decided that no matter who was in it, I'd go and see the movie.  I'm bummed with the two actors they went with so worst case scenario I'll just grin and bare it.

I can't help the feeling that it's going to be bad, oh so very bad, but I'll see it anyway - please, please, please let the movie be good. . . . 

Jill

KefLon's picture

All the women look hot,

All the women look hot, Charlize and Blake in particular!
Cullen's picture

too cute.

Aaw  Jessica Biel's dog looks like she'd rather be anywhere else. hehe.  But she's probably just nervous about being picked up, sometimes big dogs are like that hehe.  

 

About Jennifer Anniston tho... yah I won't go see the movie, but who knows, maybe I'll see it as a rental at some point.  I really liked her in Friends and Office Space, but for some reason her other projects just haven't interested me as much.

 

narcolepsy_slds's picture

Puppies

Puppies.

I will go and see the movie because of Marley, because I had a dog that was Marley a size smaller. 

Kate Walsh looks good without puppy as well ...

Ms. Richardson's picture

I really don't like the woman...

In anything other than Friends, and even saying that I thought she was one of the weaker 'friends', she had her moments though... I haven't seen one movie of hers where I thought she was outstanding, she was overshadowed in The Good Girl by Zooey Deschanel in my opinion- "Cirque du face, it means circus of the face" is one of my favourite quotes.

I just think Jennifer Aniston is better suited for sitcoms, not movies. And if she insists on bringing up the whole Brangelina issue in all of her interviews well that's what she's going to be known for... The "girl from friends who was married to Brad Pitt once upon a time..."

 

Ehhhh </endrant> 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No... she likes what I do..."

Dervish's picture

Wtf

I prefer cats or ...tiguers ^^
ColetteLala's picture

A Dog Can't Help Aniston

You couldn't pay me to see an Aniston movie. I'm with you in that something about her doesn't resonate in films.... although I never liked her on Friends either. She's just not likable to me at all. She always comes across as insecure and needy. The "poor me" thing is nauseating.

I don't think I could see this Marley & Me movie even if Aniston wasn't in it... the ending... can't deal with that. I'm too much of a dog lover to sit through that. Do you remember that godawful movie 8 Below? Who can sit through that without crying their eyes the ENTIRE TIME? Dog movies get me every time.

(8 Below is only godawful because of it's effect on my tear ducts)

MarciaBrady's picture

You Could Put a Gun to My Head, I STILL Would Not See Her Movies

Save your money - word is, like most of what Aniston is in, it sucks major ass. A boring made-for-TV like mess.  Regarding Aniston?  I sometimes find myself disliking Brad Pitt for extending this lame's career 15 minutes longer than it otherwise would have been.  She wasn't even the most talented or attractive on her ensemble sit-com, so why would I pay 10 bucks to see her in a movie?  What really disgusted me was the passive aggressive poor pitiful me act she adopted in the immediate wake of her split with Pitt - the slumber party champagne flute toasting with Oprah, the whiny tell-all in Vanity Fair, the subsequent 'I will Survive' women's magazine covers - all designed to court public opinion in her favor, and build a post-Friends, post-Pitt career, out of other sympathetic and/or bitter women out to cheerlead 'Team Aniston,' and demonize Jolie and Pitt. UGH.  Now, 4 years later - we get this latest new round of cattiness towards Angelina Jolie to garner press for her dog movie.  Bizarrely enough, Brad, the guy she wanted you to believe dumped her 4 years ago and didn't look back, somehow escapes her dull flimsy arrows - today he is an 'admirable, amazing man that she is proud of,' she says....well, alrighty then Jen, let me get this straight: You've had multiple relationships that didn't go the distance, since your split - one ex you imply left you for his co-star, the other just because, and the last, just because - except he has the gall to tell the press that he dumped you FIRST...and yet, not only do you eagerly take him back, you reserve your little bitch-bites for Angelina Jolie, a woman you don't even know.  Check. Very typical of a weak no account woman-hating woman..  This just serves to reaffirm my opinion that not only is she a waste of space, but she's your standard garden-variety b*tch besides (or her PR is). 

woody-69's picture

There seems to be...

very little room for a difference of opinion on this thread....but I will give it a whirl. I think Owen Wilson is talented and complex, and the previews for the film look hilarious. I think they will be very funny together. There are very few films that I run out to the theatre to see, and this is probably not one of them, but I will see it eventually.

I think Jennifer gets a bad rap on this site...women just don't like this woman! I have read about two interviews where she said anything about Brangelina....and the first was long after they had started on the baby making factory. I don't know why the lovely duo gets a pass on the infidelty and Jennifer gets labeled the bitter bitch. The way it happened was wrong. Period.