Being out on Facebook

I was having a discusion the other night with someone (after some guy didn't quite take the hint) about how best to make it clear that you're just not interested. I think the bluntest we came up with was incriminating photos (ofcourse not a good idea if you have family members etc, that arn't aware) obviously they leave the inabilty to deny much.

Ofcourse there are always those who choose to ignore what is right in front of them (like that bit that says "Interested in: Women") but there's only so much you can do.

Personally I don't think fb etc are bad for coming out to rarely seen aquaintences but never a good idea to the people closer to you.

i wonder..

what about those...boxes you click...interested in men or women.

what would be the reason for leaving it blank....

if you are straight.

unless you, aren't really.

and now whenever i see a blank in that column i wonder a bit.

"One disadvantage of having nothing to do is you can't stop and rest." - Franklin P. Jones

Eh.  Facebook is difficult, because basically everyone is friends with a relative or someone who they really don't want to tell / who would tell their parents.  It's also sort of easier to come out online...but then you see your Facebook friends face-to-face and it's a bit weird.

This is all totally theoretical, of course.  At the moment, the gayest thing about my profile is that I'm a fan of Liz Feldman.  And my 'Interested In' is blank, which should be a dead giveaway ;)

It is the universal facebook rainbow. I mean I guess that you could be straight and not into labels, but I doubt there are many who would not check because of that ... there are also these straight girls (well girl) that check intrested in men and women, and looking for friendship. She thinks that's what it means, that you want to be friends with both men and women, well duhh. I have checked all my facebook friends and there are only few with unchecked men / women box and they haven't actually filled anything else, and also they are the ones possibly gay. I just left that one box empty. If it isn't enough of a hint I am a fan of This Just Out, 30 Rock, The Office, Tegan & Sara :) and joined a group called "No on shirtless dudes on concerts". People still ask me if I have a boyfriend, or if I am on the pill...God I sometimes wish there was a smarter Gossip Girl round here, there are just this much rainbows you can wear, without having to go into 'I have something to tell you', to a person you mostly ignored in high school.

But anyway yeah, if I get the courage to do it, including to a number of aunts and cousins, facebook is deffinately the way to go. Easy, painless, and once you write it and try to decide on weather to submit it or not, you finally say what the heck. But parents first...

I'm out. I outed myself and it spread world of mouth. I'm not on Facebook, Myspace, nor Twitter. I always tell people I'm on AfterEllen. It is unbeknownst to my straight friends. I feel this is my way of inviting my straight friends into my life by bringing them to the community.  

Telling people from my own mouth- I'm gay, gives me a great feeling. I want people to see I have a lot pride in being who I am.

" True enjoyment comes from activity of the mind and exercise of the body; the two are ever united" ~ Wilhelm von Humbolt

i kinda used facebook in that way.

last year when i had basically come out to most my friends i changed the bit on my facebook profile to 'interested in: women'.

it seemed like a big step to me, especially as there were loads of kids in my school who i'd never specifically told that knew about it afterwards and i didn't have to specifically tell.

Also, it was a big moment for me, although many people never noticed it, I felt like i was out! 

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"laugh, laugh on at all the dreams that i the dreamer dare to weave,
laugh on, that i still belive in the people, for I still belive in life"

My FB profile is on SUPER LOCKDOWN. I pray and hope that ppl in my familia don't trip over photos of me in drag - which, even tho i begged my friend not to post, i think it's kinda cool to show them to folks when they think I'm so girly.

Right now, I am seriously contemplating opening it up for all to see and judge. My family has come out swinging a hideously homophobic take on what I thought was a shift in the tides. (my grandma's letter) Now the world could see how awefull and petty they can be. But since I don't have the guts to go ahead and make my profile viewable to everyone, I will probably keep on preaching to the (gay) choir, and never let my family see that everyone knows about what they are doing to me. 

Good: Adding large numbers of LGBT-ish entities to your fan list. Rachel Maddow, female golfers, Harvey Milk, various Calvin Klein models and almost anything related to Gossip Girl will do.

I about died of laughter at that Gossip Girl refrence. That show must be the gayest non gay show ever. And this just proves my point.

I have never been able to sit through an episode of Gossip Girl.

I DO have a lot of LGBT related groups I belong to and favourites

I DO NOT have my "interested in" section filled out though, I did when I first signed up but then I realized how many of the people I friended knew my family (who I am not out to) and I change it to blank. 

It's true that it's another way to come out to certain people. I have friends from High School in facebook that I don't see anymore that have known I'm gay via facebook or people who I've just met and added me  have also known it by reading that 'in a relationship with 'insert gf's name here' '' or because of some pictures or groups I join.. it's not a big deal,  I don't mind if they know about it this way. On the other hand, I wouldn't let my family or close friends know I'm gay that way, I prefer to tell them personally, which I did.

As for the '¡nterested in', I leave it blank too and I'm not closeted at all, it's just.. I find it weird, I don't like the expression.. it feels like I'm seeking something which I'm not, and even if I were there seeking, I'd leave it blank too. Non of my friends have it filled either. If it were as direct as myspace is, I'd happily check lesbian :)

I came out on facebook kinda sorta, right after i told my parents i changed my status to "IS OUT AND F U ALL IF U DON'T LIKE IT!"

That was my big breakthrough :-) it felt huge at the time, some of my friends "liked" my status and that was it, so now I'M OUT!! :D

Talking to straight people doesn't have to be an awkward bore

Anymore...

I used to have mine say that I'm interested in women, but I'm also interested in transmen and genderqueers. I thought that it wasn't honest to say that I'm interested in just women as not everyone I'm interested would label themselves that way. I definitely wouldn't want it to say that I'm inerested in women and men because that would send the wrong message! So, needless to say, mine is blank and people can assume whatever.

I used to have a facebook add-on that had various gender representations to choose for myself and who I'm interested in. It also let me differentiate between sexual orientation and sexual identity which is also very useful, along with other things like your number on the Kinsey scale. I got rid of it once facebook changed its interface and it didn't want to fit on my profile the way I would have liked.

When I came out, social networking sites weren't exactly an option.  Of course, I'm a HUGE nerd so I actually did research and a clip file and everything.  I had this whole "Melinda's coming out presentation" prepared.  I figured I'd tell my mom then explain the political and social ramifications of gaydom.  Seriously.  I'm not joking.

It was all for naught.  I told my mom I was gay.  She said (sarcastically) "No!  Really?!" then as I sat there open-mouthed, she added, "Sweetie, have you met yourself?  I knew you were gay in elementary school."  Dang!  That would've been an awesome presentation.

P.S.  When I came out, there was only one television show with a lesbian main character.  It was called Wimbledon.  

I'd love to be out on facebook and I think Im ready for it, though I still have to wait... Im not out to my parents, and my dad is on fb... it would really suck for them to learn it that way; it's so impersonal and would feel as though I do not respect them enough to tell them face to face.

Anyway my "interested in" is blank, which to me is almost as telling haha.

Alot of people I know found out I was gay through facebook. Obviously my close circle of friends knew because I told them, but like people I went to high school with who I occasionally bump into in town, well they found out trhough my "interested in: women" box :) I think the recent surge in "Top 5's" is a give away too, like the other day I did a "Top 5 - I so would..." and naturally all mine were women, and some guy from my old school who clearly hadn't seen my little gay box, was like 'haha I chose them wait though your a girl? oh...oh um, ok. yeah. ok thats cool. yeah. hmm. *likes this*'. It amused me greatly :)

I think it's just handy really, it allows you to come out to a load of people without the hassle of making it a big topic of conversation, which is something I hated about coming out. I was just like, urgh I'm over talking about it! Let's talk about Big Brother or something, anything! So yeah, Facebook coming out ftw :) but not to important people, but you get the jist!

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I Tweet therefore I am; http://twitter.com/RainbowPleb

Similarily to a lot of the posts above me.."my interested in" box is blank.  My family is really spread out and I keep in contact with a lot of them through facebook. I'm sure about my sexuality but I'm a little nervous about letting everyone and their grandmother know..I mean it would be BIG news.."THIS JUST IN: YAZZY IS A LEZZY!!!". I have joined a lot of LGBT-related groups and I have been asked if I was homosexual because of them..but those questions mostly came from homophobic, severely hetero, immature, teen dudes..I didn't respond..I just said my Uncle was gay and let them assume that's the only reason I support those things.

I found out my Uncle was gay through Myspace (although I swear I knew all my life), well it just confirmed my thoughts..I was 13 and confused and I told my mom..and she asked him and who knows how it spread throughout the family. My grandparents refuse to talk about it and they're always making stupid homophobe (loser-ish :[) comments..I just don't want that bs to happen to me. Facebook coming out is a HUGE no..for right now.

Damn I wrote a book..PUBLISH ME! :P

I plan to come out on facebook when time is. Some of my facebook friends already know, others dont.

But am i the only one with not only a blank "interested in" box, but apperantly also blank friends? No one has asked me questions about my 12-14 VERY gay hints on my profile, lol.