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All lesbians are good at sports, and other misconceptionsAs a member of the queer community it is inevitable that we will face ignorant questions or suppositions raised by the more straight-minded species. Hell, I’m pretty ignorant when it comes to some of our own community (I couldn’t pick out a top from a bottom in a lineup if I had to). Nikki Dowling over at The Frisky finally had enough of the idiocy and decided to once and for all extinguish the flames of stupidity coming at her on a daily basis. Of course, I don’t agree with everything she said and I asked some of my Twitter peeps to provide some of their own misconceptions. Let’s take a quick look at her list shall we? Lesbian Misconception #1: Lesbians Hate Men Don’t these same people remember how much love Rosie O’Donnell had for Tom Cruise. She spent an entire talk show career forcing America to watch her love for him.
Lesbian Misconception #2: Being Gay is Easier Than Being Straight Because You’re Dating Someone Who is The Same Gender as You First, I don’t even want to start getting into the Great Gender Debate of 2009. Second, if anyone thinks it’s easier for two women to date, I’d like for them to visit my place around PMS cycle time. Secondly, these people have obviously not seen Giaor High Art. Let’s put it this way: If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, lesbians are from a completely different solar system.
Lesbian Misconception #3: There is always a “man” and a “woman” in lesbian relationships This is a tricky one because I’m not sure if they mean “more butch” or that they are a “top”. I have, ahem, found that one does not always correlate with the other. Look at Cali and Arizona — or Erica Hahn. And it’s not like Bette or Tina were winning any “super butch” competition.
Lesbian Misconception #4: Lesbians Scissor Another tricky one just because I can’t peak into every lesbian’s bedroom, no matter how hard I try. For the most part though, just realistically, I can say that it would be a very awkward position to be in unless you wanted to have sex and play cards at the same time. Uno! Lesbian Misconception #5: Lesbians get committed really fast and don’t cheat. One word: Shane.
Lesbian Misconception #6: Lesbians Have Daddy Issues or Were Sexually Abused As Kids Can we please drop this BS already? Do you know how many more lesbians there would be in this world if this were true? Total sad reality. To top it all off, a lot of the lesbians I know are incredibly close to their dads. My dad was my best friend and his photograph has secured the most coveted spot on my desk at work. Unfortunately, The L Word has more proof against this than for. Lesbian Misconception #7: If you are a lesbian you’ve never had a meaningful relationship or been in love with a man. Puleeeze. Sure, some of us are members of the Gold Star club, but many lesbians have been in love with men and some have even married them. I’d say more than half of the lesbian movies out there start out with one half of the eventual pair being married to a man: Imagine Me and You, Bound, When Night is Falling — should I go on? Melissa Etheridge's ex-wife Julie Cypher was married to Lou Diamond Phillips first.
Dowling’s list is pretty great overall, but I asked some of my Twitter peeps to send me some of their, um, favorite misconceptions. My girl @labfly had a great one: “We don’t all play softball well (or at all)." That's right — we're not all natural athletes. We all remember one of the funnier moments of the 4th season of The L Word when the girls played a horrific game of basketball. Bette seemed to be the only one capable of dribbling the ball, much less make a basket.
What are some of the misconceptions/stupid questions/bad stereotypes you deal with? |
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stereotypes and misconceptions
What a joke! Well I can say I am pretty bad at sports... I'm afraid of "balls" hitting me! Also it is not easier being gay than straight... I mean wtf? #7yeah sure.. have not been in a meaningful relationship with a man? WTF? Ha, my gf couldn't be gayer and she's had a couple of boyfriends. #6 is quite insulting...
Well about the "men" and "women" means maybe that perhaps there is a passive person and a more "agressive" person... like it happens in str8 relationships... and not necessarily it means that the woman is always in the passive role...in a str8 relationship...Ha my gf and I always joke around that she's the man in the relationship; that she would wear the strap in the relationship hahaha. There's no difference from str8 women or str8 guys. It just depends on the person...like everything.
Scissoring... ha.. I've never done it... well...hahaha once tried it with my gf but I felt awkward. LOL!"Were I receptive to such proposition, it would first require a full booty check, and if you were to pass muster, baby I'd give it to you family style"-Peggy Peabody
I've heard it like a million times.
"So are you like the... eh... the man in your relationship?" Lord, if I had a dollar
-The Danish Kiwi-
.
ohh yeah... most frequently
ohh yeah... most frequently asked question by far.
i also answer, there's no man...that's the point.
but then expand for people's entertainment.
totally annoying question!
OMG.
I hate it when peolple ask me that. The whole point in a lesbian relationship s that there's NO MAN! ... I wonder when people will get it... They think there must be a man (even if "imaginary") in a relationship for it to work. =P so uncool.
Peace!
The whole point in a lesbian relationship is that there's NO MAN
Thank you! NO Man. Put perfectly.
I hate the idea that one person must dominate the other. I've had experiences where trying to be "the man" is a disguise for trying to CONTROL.
Lesbian Misconception #5:
Lesbian Misconception #5: Lesbians get committed really fast and don’t cheat.
One word: Shane.
This made me laugh, i LOVE Shane, she is/was so HOT!
Her story line made me sad though.
And thank you for mentioning Gia and High Art, 2 of the best lebian movies ever in my opinion :)
Oh yea, and umm, I suck at sports, have long hair and don't USUALLY like overly butch girls, their are exceptions to every rule though, LOL
Ha!
misconceptions
A girl I work with refused to believe I was a lesbian because I dont have facial piercings, short spiky hair, or wear mens clothes.
They are just a few of the misconceptions I have heard.
gay babies
The ones i get the most from
upt
"verbally at least, although
"verbally at least, although orally is another issue..."
LOL!
LOL
this made me laugh
Lesbians hate men: I love my guy friends, without them ill be crazy and all that..
I don't think it's easier living gay life...even though is our same gender...i think it's the same as in a straight relationship...it's love..love is hard in every relationship
OMG! My dad never abused me...my dad and i have a great father/daugther relationship...he's the best dad ever!!! Im lesbian because i love girls and that's the way i am...nobody abused me...
I like to play "man" and "woman" of the relationship...i love to say who's the woman or the man but it's just a game...it's not serious...it's funny though
I have friends who are great at sports and they're not lesbians...
I love this thread!!! it made me think many things about me...and some are "right" (in my case) and some are totally wrong misconceptions....Im not a softball player with short hair....
Another misconception : "You want to rebel against the world being gay" ...well i have heard that several times...and really...im not a rebel!!
"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."
This was so funny. I'm
This was so funny.
I'm still laughing. And my parents are asking me what about- so I thank you for that.
Misconceptions...hmm...probably everything on that list.
& that I don't believe in God. Whilst I know many gay people that don't...a lot do.
& that I must have a crush on my friends.
My favourite one is the man/woman one though. I want to shake people, but I smile and correct them the
boringright way.The God thing
my cousin wanted to know when I stopped believing in God after I came out to him.
I guess some people equate being a lesbian with being atheist
Uno!!!
"...I can say that it would be a very awkward position to be in unless you wanted to have sex and play cards at the same time. Uno!"
Funny stuff Hornito...LMFAO
_________
vivono nella speranza
I don't know about Uno...
I'm just going to put this out there
Do that many lesbians really think of themselves as a 'top' or 'bottom'? I would have thought that was one of the misconceptions to go on this list. Does being, uh, 'versatile' really make me a minority here?
I wondered also
I often wondered about the exclusive "top" or "bottom" positions. I frankly don't even understand why it seems as though it is a common notion/preference/saying within the gay community. I gathered that it must be a misconception and most relationships are not like that, so you may not be in the minority.
I think the "top" or "bottom" exclusivity need within someone must steam from something other than a masculine/feminine relationship dynamic, because the position you hold within a sexual encounter/relationship does not always determine your dominance.
Dominance is far more than a held position.
I'm straight...
#7 seems to be a hot topic. I've never heard it nor have I ever thought it. The concept seems completely ridiculous to assume. Aren't most people straight before gay or at least attempt to be for societal reasons. Maybe me = ignorant.
#2: Doubt being gay is easier due to the many phobes and haters. The same gender thing makes sense to me though. Its hard to find an "awesome" woman, but the fellas never disappoint.
#3 was slightly enlightening, but I think subconsciously there is always a more dominant partner.
#4 SHATTERED MY WORLD!!! Its like finding out Santas not real or girls dont pillow fight in their underwear at sleep-overs
Exactly!
I was so disappointed to find out that nearly-naked pillow fights aren't a common sleepover activity... ):
Gonna have to try that with my girlfriend at some point, hahaha.
the softball one always
the softball one always bothered me, mostly cause i play softball and when people hear that, they're like "of course you do..." it's just a coincidence that i was a tomboy growing up and am gay now, i swear. my mom is the same way, she plays sports and lives in jeans and tshirts and only wears makeup when her friends insist and do it for her, and she's totally straight and has been married to my dad for 24 years.
the other one i get alot that annoys me is when people assume that my friends and i are all sleeping together or have hooked up at some point just because most of us are gay. just because two girls are gay doesn't mean they're automatically into each other. it's also irritating when people seem to think that i'm checking out every girl i meet and that i'm always trying to "convert" straight girls. it's just not true.
Scissoring!!!?
OMG! I was sitting in my room while some of my friends were sitting in the living room talking about something. All of a sudden I hear "how does scissoring even work?" then someone else said "I don't know. Let's ask Catelynn!" And before they could ask me I yelled out "It doesn't!" Long story short there is now a picture of lesbian couple scissoring on my fridge asking "How does this work?" There's also a caption that says "It's a myth! Catelynn even says so!" It's truly a work of art.
Seriously though if I had a nickel for every time I was asked how scissoring works or how lesbians have sex I think I'd have umm... well... a lot of nickels.
Dude,
how DOES scissoring work? I've always wondered about that..
^^
Too easy,sorry.:-)
I've never been asked.^^
here's an odd story...
Hmph...
Just throwing it out there that if you find a good position, scissoring can be rather enjoyable hah... It's not impossible, it's not a myth. Guess it's a little bit more unusal than I thought though *shrugs.*
The one above
I second the motion. Um...it IS possible and, ah, in the heat of the moment, any thought of feeling awkward just goes right out the window. :)
Lesbians hate men - As a Gold Star myself, I don't hate guys. After all, some of them make great "lesbros". I just prefer the better gender, that's all. :)
"if anyone thinks it’s easier for two women to date, I’d like for them to visit my place around PMS cycle time." - ohohoho, THIS I can relate to! :-P
I rarely post anything here but I just HAD to comment on this topic. Good one! :)
"If she had touched me, I would've been hers and not my own. Not ever again." - The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle
Scissor me Timbers
LOL South Park had the best scissoring example. I think most gay girls will agree they have tried tribbing. Hey even bonobo females trib
lord... what the heck is
tribbing
there's penetration between men and women during sex, for sex between women, [not including dildos], would be vaginas rubbing against vaginas to produce orgasm, hence the term tribbing.
Tribadism
This term, which I associate with rare, antiquated accounts of sex between women, such as "Goody Smith was witnessed engaging in tribadism with Goody Johnson, wife of Brother Hezekiah Johnson. The two women were swiftly tried as witches and hanged"
...seems to have been revived in this new, hip urban term 'tribbing.' XD
YEAA BONOBOS!
The fact that you brought up Bonobo chimpanzees makes you my hero!!!!!!!!!
"Well, at least you don't have leprosy."
Soo many stupid questions....
I have heard so many as the token lez at my old high school. one girl even asked if I was turned on by my own reflection! While I would jump myself if given the chance, this is still slightly insulting since most lesbians are not as narcisistic as I am :)
My fav tho, has to be people's reactions to coming out. Here are some gems:
Me: "I'm gay"
them: "oh, I'm straight." (putting hands up apparently to stop the nympho lesbian from tackling her in uncontrollable lust)
Me: "uhhh....good for you...."
or
Me: "I'm gay"
Them: "Oh, I have a gay aunt."
Me: "That's....great....."
I dunno, I think most
I dunno, I think most lesbians would probaby jump themselves if given the chance...
...Unless I'm just as narcisistic as you, and I'm deluding myself. ;)
Add me to the self-jumping
People seem to think that
People seem to think that since I am a lesbian, I'm going to hit on them.
When I came out to my best friend since grade 2, all she could say was "Okay, as long as you don't hit on me I'm all for it!".
ugh
pets
that all lesbians have cats....as pets!
"I don't see the point with you anymore"....Shane McCutcheon
Scissoring
Well...
absolutely
See!
on Tribbing...
Dude, I'm with you. It's a hard position to get right and if you're not totally, completely in the mood for it, you'll get frustrated easily. But with a little patience, and slow going this can be a winning position.
Oh and for those who asked: The actual term for Scissoring is "Tribadism", sometimes shortened to "Tribbing".
Peace.
Answer to #3
Another one...
All my friends' boyfriends are convinced that I'm going to convert their girlfriends and that they will leave them to run away with me. *rolls eyes*
And I think anyone who's ever seen me attempt to play a sport was pretty convinced that we're not all talented in that department!
So true!
So many of my guy friends are afraid to leave me alone with their girlfriends for fear that I'll woo them with my womanly charms. It's amusing (and okay, a bit flattering) at first... but it gets pretty old pretty quickly!
#7... Wait... huh? I've
Ha!
"Let’s put it this way: If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, lesbians are from a completely different solar system."
Totally true!