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News, Reviews & Commentary on Lesbian and Bisexual women in Entertainment and the Media

Brooke Hogan goes on a date with a lesbian

When AfterEllen.com reader Thegirloverthere gave us a tip about Brooke Hogan kissing a girl in an upcoming episode of Brooke Knows Best, I knew I had to watch it. The idea of Brooke kissing a girl does not appeal to me in any way shape or form and quite honestly, the fact that she has her own show annoys me. My reasoning behind subjecting myself to this show was purely to see how they handled the subject.

The episode starts with Brooke’s roommate, Glenn, staring longingly at the beach as some big old muscle men rub lotion on each other as he wonders, “Why don’t I have that?” His love life has been struggling lately, which makes Brooke ask, “What if you have a little bit of straight in you?” Glenn looks at her as though she grew a second vagina on her head and wonders if the spirit of his mother has suddenly possessed her.

Brooke won’t drop the subject and is relentless until he says he’ll go on a date with a girl. Glenn says he’ll go on a date with a girl as long as Brooke goes on a date with a girl. She’s all grossed out and not following her own logic of “How do you know you don’t like it until you’ve tried it?” but agrees to be set up on a blind date as long as their other roommate, Ashley, goes on a date with a girl.

Ashley was a champ and said, “Whatever, I’ll go out on a date with a chick!” enthusiastically. Brooke then made her best grunting “ewww” noises — because girls are so icky — but reluctantly was on board.

The rules are stated that no one is allowed to tell their date they are actually doing this on a dare and have no interest in starting anything real. Also, they need to kiss. Brooke says she’ll “sacrifice my innocence” for Glenn. Ashley is my girl though and says, “If it can happen for Glenn then maybe it can happen for you. You can fall in love with a girl!” Somehow their dates’ feelings don’t count, but hey,all’s fair in making sure Glenn is gay!

Brooke and Ashley go to the gym and I need to take a time out because Brooke is wearing the most ridiculous workout outfit ever.

They spy a “very Midwestern-looking” (I’ll assume because she’s wearing a choker) girl named Kimberly and think she’s the perfect one to set Glenn up with. Once they’ve got Glenn’s date taken care of, Brooke tells Ashley that her ideal lesbian date would be with someone “as close to a boy as possible” kind of like P!nk. Brooke needs a little lesson in imagination because P!nk isn’t even a blip on the butch radar.

When the date night approaches, everyone is having problems with their wardrobe. Glenn looks “like a member of the Village People” and Brooke tries to dress for “a gay date." She decides that a hat, jeans and a v-neck with a white shirt underneath makes her look “hot for a lesbian." Honey, you don’t look hot for a lesbian or even for a baby koala bear.

Glenn tells her to get her hooker boots back on and let her boobs out. After her wardrobe change, she cleans up nicely but doesn’t want to “dress to impress." I decide that this bitch is on my last nerve.

Ashley’s date is there first and it looks like it’ll be a lipstick love affair. I’d love to be able to wear her top.

Brooke’s date arrives next and is super cute (totally wasted on Brooke).

Brooke tells Glenn, “She’s really butch,” as though she were upset about it. Apparently she thinks it doesn’t get any more butch than P!nk so it must’ve been a shock for her to see a motorcycle riding lesbian come through the door. Brooke changes into an outfit appropriate for the motorcycle ride and her date is impressed.

Glenn’s date arrives and I’m pretty positive her Midwestern gaydar went "WEEEEEE! WEEEEE! WEEEEE!" If his hair didn’t do it before, his recommendation of an apple martini sure did it. Still, she drinks enough to apparently not care.

Brooke’s date takes her to what looks like a very cool restaurant with belly dancers. Unfortunately, their waiter mistakes Brooke’s date for a dude, which visibly angers Brooke.


Butch McGee takes her jacket off to make her chest more visible and Brooke is impressed with their size, saying, “Why don’t you push them up and out? Those are good." Nicely done, Brooke Hogan.

Ashley’s date seems to be going well, although they seem to be the only women at whatever restaurant they went to. When they get hassled by some guys, Ashley’s date stands up and is ready to kick some ass. I kind of see a love connection there. If there isn’t one blooming, I think Glenn’s Midwestern chick should take a turn. She kind of looks like Erin Daniels from the L Word and she likes it rough. Her personal ad pretty much writes itself. When Glenn gives her enough tequila, she wonders out loud where she’ll be sleeping that night.

As the night comes to an end, Ashley totally makes out with her date — and if the cameras weren’t around, something tells me it would’ve kept going. Brooke’s date walks her to the door and goes in for the kill.


After a few rounds of smooching, Brooke pulls away and says, “You’re a really good kisser” as her roommates gasp and laugh from the couch. They all admit though, their dates were great — they just weren’t dudes.

Overall, it wasn’t a bad episode. I was so ready to hate it, but towards the end I feel like everyone was enlightened — except of course, for their dates.

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  • thelionqueen's picture

    i dont really watch this show

    so im not going to say anything negavtive. but from reading this i feel as if its-Lesbian is Chic-blog.

     

    Atro's picture

    The 'I will cut you' thought

    The 'I will cut you' thought bubble made me laugh out loud. Nicely done!
    JOJOnCoffee's picture

    Hahaha

    Me too.

     

     

    How would you like your eggs? "Hmm, today? Unfertilized please.."

    CosmicWooWoo's picture

    I sort of have mixed

    I sort of have mixed feelings about Brooke Hogan. First, I find her annoying, this whole date stuff for example. I remember hearing her comment about how she would never vote a woman for President because they have PMS. I also feel a little bad for her too, having all of her family trouble in the spotlight. I guess she asked for it though, now that she has her own show.

    Oh VH1, why do you subject me to such nonsense and why do I keep on watching your crappy "celebreality."

    iluvpie's picture

    aha

    i saw that and it was funny but in the end she was like i like dick and it was dissapointing
    Ari's picture

    I've never even watched an

    I've never even watched an episode of the show..ok, just  the first..because Brooke is exactly the kind of girl i can barely stand..that's why i'm so upset! She got to go on a date with THAT gir?! Wow..she's absolutely gorgeous..and i adore her leather jacket ^^! The world is just unfair *.*

    Lakshmi is my homegirl <3

    Mariam's picture

    I was thinking the same. 

    I was thinking the same.  So unfair!!
    demoiselle cyan's picture

    I've never watched it...

    "Why dont you push them up and out, those are good" hahaha that was a good one Brooke. Meh.. it was just an episode...

     

     

    "It is easier to disintegrate an atom than human stupidity"-A. Einstein

    gen's picture

    Oh my god!!!

    That girl, Brookes "date", does anybody know what her name was??

    I am canadian and i can't get the video anywhere .and from the pictures I know That I know her from somewhere... did she by any chance say what she did for a living?or where she was from??

    LaylaT's picture

    She's a DJ. Can't

    She's a DJ.

    Can't remember her name.

    gen's picture

    Hhnnn...well, thanks

    Hhnnn...well, thanks laylaT... does anybody know where you can get the episode out of the us??
    Sarcastically-Honest's picture

    Youtube Preview

     I could only find this Youtube preview

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdNNgUkN82A

    "And it's amazing
    With the look in your eyes
    Like you could save me
    But you won't even try"

    - Matt Nathanson

    gen's picture

    great thanks sarcastically-

    great thanks sarcastically-

    Totally helps!,

    but not the person I thought i was..though i really like her accent!

     

    ClaireA's picture

    Ha ha, this made me laugh!

    Ha ha, this made me laugh! "I will cut you."
    Bikerchick's picture

    WEEEEE WEEEE WEEEE!! LOL

    Ashley's date looks like she's dressed for open heart surgery.

    I've never watched this show, and I don't think I'm missing much. Loved this blog though, cracked me up. 

    sick.girl's picture

    ew,

    brooke hogan. the dates were very cute but reading this was more than enough brooke hogan for me. i couldn't possibly watch a whole show about her.

    i mean i could, but why?

    Heather B's picture

    Glenn's Date...

    Didn't she look exactly like the bride from season 5 of the L word where Shane hooked up with all the brides maids....or am I crazy?
    Gina's picture

    Well no wonder she's

    Well no wonder she's grossed out.....she's straight!

    How'd the hardcore lesbians on this site feel about going on a date with a guy? I'm guessing the same way Brooke felt....

    sefv's picture

    I shoot deer. It's what men do.

    I can remember seeing the series preview and I was wondering when this episode was going to be brought up. Brooke's date was too cute for her and I enjoyed Glenn's stereotypical straight man routine. That's about all I took from it.

    Ashley's picture

    Glenn's attempt to be straight for a date:

    Was a failed attempt. The shooting deer comment and ordering a brooski was cute and made me laugh.

    Ashley's date was hot and I agree that Ashley was digging her FAR more than she (purposely) let on.

    Sarcastically-Honest's picture

    Disappointing

    Brooke Knows Best is so scripted. It was clear from the beginning that the straight girls in the show will continue to be straight. Waste of time.

    "And it's amazing
    With the look in your eyes
    Like you could save me
    But you won't even try"

    - Matt Nathanson

    April's picture

    this was a really

    this was a really entertaining episode, even though it looked totally staged out. like their conversation in the beginning and everything. am i the only one who noticed that? i mean i know it's "reality" tv and all..

    i couldn't help but smile alot everytime they showed ashley on her date, cause even before this episode i always thought she was SOOOOO adorable :) so this made me happy, not that it really changed anything :p i think brookes pretty cool, except for when she tried to dress like a gay, um no that was a little bit demeaning. what a ridiculous outfit. it made me laugh though.

    Galaxyglue's picture

    No thanks

    Im not going to waste a half hour of my life on this dribble !
    Galaxyglue's picture

    No thanks

    Im not going to waste a half hour of my life on this dribble !
    MackAttack!'s picture

    woooow!

    the funny thing is... when I saw the commercial for this I actually thought I might watch that episode, but the thought thankfully escaped my mind and I forgot about it... heh, brooke hogan,... i should have known....

      

    sloane's picture

    "i decide that this bitch is getting on my nerves"-lol

    i saw this episode and i was so mad that one of the hottest women (who is she? she is too cute) i've seen in a while was wasted on that idiot (brooke), but i did like to see the gender bending aspect of the episode and that they didn't necessarily cast homosexuality in a negative light. and they showed a bit of what lesbians have to face when interacting in public, like having men disrepect your relationship and come on to you while you're with your gf and/or ask for a threesome, having people confuse you for a young boy when you're butch. one part of the episode i loved was when ashley's 4'2 date stood up to beat the hell out of that guy who was harassing them, ashley seemed like she was into her. 
    ArsenicForBreakfast's picture

    There is no justice

    *__* Ohmygod, Brooke's date is gorgeous! Completely wasted on this vapid farce of a "reality" TV show. But VH1 has sort of become the black hole that sucks all potential enjoyment out of its' programs. Guh.

     

    "You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose. Unless your friend has no arms, then it's just common courtesy." -The Newcastle Ugly Kids

     

    ndgogrl21's picture

    Its official ...

    VH-1 is giving Daniela the DJ from Miami her own reality show! It will feature her and the futch heart-throb Dani cruising around FLA making all the femmes swoon and giving coolness workshops to all the tweeners, butches, and dykes!
    .★.Matt The Rock$tar.★.'s picture

    OOO

    I want to see. Dani is so cute.

    New Music Video Genesis Be aka Lo-Key Soraya's Song(In The Name of God)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsSD6dzWs_k

    http://www.afterellen.com/node/52572?#comment-870301

    quirkygirl's picture

    *Sigh*

    If only...
    KiwiGirl1974's picture

    The question I have is:

    why do (real) lesbians go on shows like this and participate in their own exploitation?
    ndgogrl21's picture

    What?!?!?!

    Lesbians don't get their 15 minutes of fame too. I mean damn, we can't get married and now we can't get the 15 minutes Andy Warhol promised us?

     

    A. She's cute 

    B. DJ's need exposure.

    C. She got dinner with hot belly dancers paid for by VH-1.

    D. Not every lesbian thinks, wow, how will "the community" view this or me? (BTW, its the same community that preaches support this lesbian so and so or don't support that business because they aren't gay friendly)

    KiwiGirl1974's picture

    I wish lesbians would get their 15 minutes of fame ...

    But not on shows like this.  I feel embarrassed for them.

    "Not every lesbian thinks, wow, how will "the community" view this or me" ... Sometimes they need to.

    The fact is she was only in the show because the potential for a girl on girl makeout scene, keeps straight viewers watching the entire show (when they would otherwise switch channels).  It's exploitation of lesbianism for ratings ... and I'm over it.

    Solomon Cat's picture

    gotta join the chorus on

    gotta join the chorus on this one. Brooke's date: Oh. my. god. how could anyone still cling to straightness after that?

    more proof that Brooke Hogan is bad peroxide/collagen/tanning lotion chemical reaction and not actually a person.

    Manuela's picture

    Brooooke

    Im not her fan at all . . but i think that she was polite enough with her date. though i wouldn't have let her go  lol. I like ashley's attitude about it. Funny episode by the way

    Jo's picture

    Brooke's date

    OMFG she's so hot, lord what a waste going on a date with Brooke Hogan.
    No True Name's picture

    Glen was pretty funny

    Glen was pretty funny in his attempts to impersonate a straight guy. Calling the waiter "dude" and the part where he goes "the martinis here are great. I mean I've heard. I'm having a Bud." 

    And Brooke's date was hot. They seemed like they'd get along and I appreciated Brooke giving the waiter that death stare. Makes me wish she was actually interested. Asinine comments about a woman president aside, I think she's mostly okay. I've never watched this show but I was a fan of hers on her dad's show.

    wintergreen's picture

    How do they get these dates?

    I'm honestly interested.  Interested ... and jealous.

    Quite_Contrary's picture

    The whole Hogan family...

    Is completely ridiculous, but I actually like Ashley and Glen.

     

    cowgal's picture

    hot... but clueless?

    I feel like everyone was enlightened — except of course, for their dates.
     

     I want to know wtf these ladies were told? I mean, they had a camera crew following them... they had to know this was, if not a dare, some kind of scam date.

    But yes, the dates were beautiful (didn't see Glenn's date)... Brooke's date was OMG smoking hot. SOMEBODY GET THAT DJ SOME EXPOSURE! (and get me her number hehe j/k)

    carrie's picture

    omg

    omg brookes date is soooooooooo hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! someone find me a girl like her lol
    Csilla's picture

    I found the DJ

    Ha, it took me a little internet search, but here's the hot dj's myspace:

    http://www.myspace.com/DJKIKI44

     

    Too bad I'm already taken, and living in the Netherlands ;-)

     

     

    *dressing bad is like loving you

    Thane McAllister's picture

    ...the lady doth protest too much...

    ...Brooke was fak'n lyk sht! She knows that was tha best kiss of her life! As if going on a date with a girl & kissing her to boot would help Glen have better luck with men. Blah. Ashley was super attracted to her date and i also think if the cameras weren't there, she'd jam out with her clam out! Geesh! It's jus a lil bit of vagina...i'd totally get it on wit a dude if i were attracted to one. I swear "straight" girls are so melodramatic! Sex is sex; it's a skill set who gives a fisherman's fart if it's a boy or a girl. As long as it feels good what's the diff?!? I swear Americans try too hard to put people in neat little boxes; sex in and of itself is too complex an experience to categorize. Straight, Gay, bi-whatever the f*ck! Do what feels good-duh!
    .★.Matt The Rock$tar.★.'s picture

    Broke Hogan kissed a lesbian

    The whole world stops and gives a damn. She is not remotely homo who cares. She was not experimenting, she was not expressing "sexual fluidity". She went out on the date because her friend did not want to feel alone.

    Believe if or not life still goes on......

    New Music Video Genesis Be aka Lo-Key Soraya's Song(In The Name of God)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsSD6dzWs_k

    http://www.afterellen.com/node/52572?#comment-870301

    Ari's picture

    Ok..seriously, i couldn't

    Ok..seriously, i couldn't care less about Brooke Hogan..but i can't get over that gorgeous dj with an amazing jacket, hot motorcyle, cute accent, cool attitute she went on a date with! I just now realize my life is quite boring..i need a reality show..or i need to move to wherever that show is set ^.^

    Lakshmi is my homegirl <3

    Melissa Hsu's picture

    Glen's date

    looked exactly like Dana (Erin Daniels) from The L Word..in my opinion she was the prettiest. I couldn't stop smiling whenever it showed her. :)
    prufrock1019's picture

    I'm not usually into girls

    I'm not usually into girls who are that butch, but Brooke's date is hella cute. I would totally jump on the back of her motorcycle. Too bad her good looks were wasted on Brooke Hogan, who looks like her dad with extensions and a bad boob job.

    ------------------

    Stewie: Listen, why don't you save yourself years of sexual ambiguity and get fitted for a pair of Doc Martens and a plaid flannel shirt?

    DJ Digital Gem's picture

    Like this is a big shocker....

    No offense to Brooke but this is just another TV drama queen looking to get on the "bi" list and have the guys in America drool over her with her chick-on-chick action. It's the same ploy pulled by wayyyyyyyy too many straight girls and to be honest it makes me sick.

     

    Damn "reality" television! There's not one thing even "real" about it!

    i am dot's picture

    just caught the re-run

    i was pretty surprised! i thought it was handled fairly well and it was pretty funny. even the outrageous stereotype comments were funny because the way they portrayed them on the show seemed like they intended to show how ridiculous they were.

     glenn's "straight date" was pretty hilarious. and his date... yowza! 

    Diana's picture

    This whole thing was

    This whole thing was hilarious, and oh so cringe worthy.  Somehow I don't think I'll be able to bare the awkwardness of the whole thing on TV but, reading the play by play was good enough ;)