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What's YOUR Problem? Episode 11After a series of technical difficulties, scheduling conflicts and computer freezes, the latest episode of actress and therapist Cathy DeBuono's vlog is finally ready! This week, she responds to four AfterEllen.com viewer letters, with input from two young women.
The episode also includes a couple of new musical performances by Janet Robin (from Episode 2), and a short appearance by Jill Bennett, just because the camera was there... For more information on Janet Robin and her tour dates, please visit www.janetrobin.com or MySpace.com/janetrobinmusic. Submitted by on April 18, 2008 - 1:42pm. |
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AfterEllen.com NYC Meet-Up on May 18thWe're having a get-together on May 18th in NYC for our readers, with some of our staff and vloggers, and the cast/creators of 3Way. Go here for details. Recent blog posts
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News, Reviews & Commentary on Lesbian and Bisexual women in Entertainment and the Media
rock on cathy
another great episode
janet robin is awesome
does anyone else find it
i agree
i agree with you about the muscles and veins popping out everywhere
i think its hot
absolutely
You're not the only one. I had to rewatch it too. Not that I'm complaining :P
Anyways, great vlog Cathy! I loved Jill's appearances and I can't wait until she's gonna be on the vlog. Very very soon. To talk about really important stuff. With the sockpuppets :)
Loved Janets songs, Patience is really awesome, I loved it.
To letter #1, I know a few gay people who have gay siblings and I think it could really be genetics. :)
To letter #2, first thing that came to my mind was the character Phyllis on The L Word. ^^ Her character is like over 50 I think and was married. Anyways, in my opinion there is no "right time" to come out. You know you are gay and you are living a lie if you don't come out. You gotta be you.
To letter #3, give her time. She'll come around. I mean, nothing really has changed with you, you are still the same person she was friends with before you came out.
To letter #4, kudos to you. Coming out with 14, dude that rocks. I feel with you, I live in a small town with no gay community too. It sucks. But just wait till you get a car, then it's cool ;) And you could always go to Madison by bus. (BTW Cathy, Madison is the capital of WI ;) Also, look on the net if you could talk to gay people from Madison, maybe you could meet up with them beforehand :)
Awesome vlog Cathy, Comet is so cute and you have nice arms and veins, loved the hair and you rock the wifebeater :P
- sec
Definitely
kudo
totally agree
------------------------------------------
http://thequeerafrican.blogspot.com/
I'm queer and African ... deal with it
Great vlog :-)
As always :-) Have a great weekend1
Hgs and smiles :-)
"Be who you are and say what you want because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter" Dr.Seuss
The Adventures of Comet
Cathy, I want to steal your dog (but not really)
Comet is so adorable and well behaved!!!
Excellent vlog as always.
It is an unfortunate part of human nature and in especially women, that we make assumptions and don't validate them by finding out the truth. It's the fear that our assumptions are wrong and that is a blow to your own self-esteem, but isn't it better to hear the truth than assume a lie?
Dog collar
I love that dog collar, is it from lucky dog leather by any chance?
I'm so glad this vlog is back, I was missing it. Great as usual...and Jill cracks me up... all the AE vloggers always look gorgeous, random of me to say I know but true.
Cathy
Perfect Example!
Hey Gem89, and all you guys....
I had to take a moment to reply to this comment, and I don't want to shame you in any way but this is a perfect example of projection... or at the very least - treating our assumptions as fact.
Believe it or not, Jill was stone cold sober! That was her very first glass of wine of the evening! Now don't get me wrong... it wasn't her last....HAR!! Just Kidding!!
But she wasn't at all drunk... I just found it an interesting irony given that we talked about assumptions and projections in this vlog.
There is no shame in it, we all do it - it's human nature - but we need to remember that it doesn't make our thoughts facts....
www.cathydebuono.com and www.myspace.com/cathydebuono
WOW. Way to bring it full
WOW. Way to bring it full circle.
Jill was being playful :D. She's such a great sport.
Good Advice Cathy
Once again Cathy you give some good advice. The way you read the letters sometimes seems as though there should be violins playing in the background, not a bad thing, you sound sincere. Nice to see Jill make an appearance, she really does not need sock puppets to entertain.
I missed you
Is it wierd that I miss this vlog so much when it does not air for a week?
Cathy, you are so warm and caring and also sooo inspiring!
Every time you make me smile and laugh and think and have some gratitude.
Thanks Cathy, and you look fantastic bye the way. You are beautiful, inside and out.
p.s. I did have to plug in my headphones but then I heard everything just fine.
Great Vlog- Yeah Comet!
I am a late bloomer myself....it was always there, but couldn't allow myself to explore it due to the fact that there were already TWO other cousins that had already come out as gay, and they weren't received too well...I was scared. It was bad enough that my parents wanted me to be more like my brother because he was an "A" student, and practically walked on water...I just wanted to be me, be seen for me and did everything as opposite as possible than my brother. So Kudos to all the letter writers...the first step is always the hardest...ROCK ON!
Speaking of Rockin...Janet has a CT gig and I plan on being there!!! She's HOT and a great rocker!
THE Sound sucked! But ya already knew that...good thing I am a good lip reader!.
You ROCK cathy! As Always,
Be Well,
patti
Janet Robin!!
OMG I was a huge fan of Janet's back in the days of Precious Metal. Saw them at an old club in Brockton, MA in 1990ish and remember chatting with Mara Fox because I was just about the only one there that knew all the words. :) Being in a band at the time, I was all about other female rockers because there were so few of us.
Wow...that totally takes me back to some fun and very rockin' times!
yay! Janet Robin again!
What a nice vlog! I really liked to listen again Janet Robin, she's awesome!!! Nice music, and even better advice...
To the girl who came out being 14 years old, WOW!!! I admire how clear is your mind and how brave you are... I'm 19 y/o and I'm still not sure about anything, labels are a hard thing to figure out... plus bla bla..... a lot of things...
great ep.
& omg I loooove Comet!!! SO effing adorable
Janet Robin
Great advice and love the opening shot!
Great vlog...
...as always. But I am hoping for more Jill :) Love her and I can watch her in anything :)
Peace
I can't even think straight...
It's never to late..
to come out. Ms. 35, I understand how you feel about being accepted by the community. Because of the way I looked (tall as Cathy with long blond hair) I thought people wouldn't believe that I was gay. And, in fact, the first place I went to was a "womens' bookstore where I was given the "are you sure you're in the right place" line. Although I was heartbroken, I was determined. There was a lesbian bar in town and for a couple of nights in a row I would drive by trying to work up the courage. By the 4th drive-by I finally went in. I pretty much sat in the corner and took it all in. In the end I ended up joing the military where I found the greatest gay/lesbian community as well as my partner of 6 years.
BTW, as a side note, don't ever change your appearance to conform to lesbian stereotypes. A really bad butch hair cut taught me that lesson. ;-)
It's never too late...
Janet Robin
She's really talented I liked her music a lot! Bravo! Great advice this week Cathy, you are amazing! And your arms look kickin! Very hot!
Just because the camera was there...
That is why I LOVE, love, love the work of Ms Bennett. Awesome.
I, for one, am delighted that the WGN ladies will be back with us on Weds. Have missed your collective sass.
Yeahh!!
Jill on Cathy's vlog!! Omg, I can't wait....
This was a great vlog though. You did it again Cathy. You make me want to scream: AMEN TO THAT!
Back to Jill: She seemed a little drunk, which is AMAZING! Get her drunk on your next vlog, gonna be great!
You´ve been missed
You and all your insight and awesome sugestions and advice were really missed.
Letter 2: I don´t think that the lesbian/bi community will have a problem embracing new people, after all we´ve all been scared about coming out so we all can understand that. Be true to yourself!
Letter 4: 14 and already out?? CONGRATULATIONS! I wish I had been that brave, or sure about my sexuallity at that age
Loved it. Loved It. Loved
Loved it. Loved It. Loved it.
I'd have to say this is probably the most important vlog here at AE. It's honest, serious at times humorous in just the right situations.
Keep rocking Cathy. Damn those arms are serious. LOVE EM. Envious :D.
awww, we got to see Jill. I less than three her. :D.
Too bad about the Cathy Shim guest vlog spot got nixed due to technically difficulities.
Missed you in bunches, you'd been gone for so long :(
Can't wait for next week's episode.
Hard Body
Madison!!
The MadCity Rocks!
That poor pup!
She didn't want to go on camera. Would you? I loved that her collar matched the lavender flowers on that bush.
Shele
she's back!!!
LOVED the more personal vlog
not that I don't love your guests because I do, but you ROCK at the one on one.....or the one on one plus the camera and Lucia ;)
I loved the "personal revelations" reference..and I am sure Janet did as well!
My favorite quote:" seek to understand before seeking to be understood"...AWESOME!!
Janet rocked on the guitar...and I love that she uses minor chords
As for Jill.....LOVED the cameo...but can't wait to see a full ep with her!!!!
~K
Jill Bennett on cover of IN LA Mag...
Just wanted to post this incase anyone missed it. Jill Bennett is on the cover of this months IN LA Magizine. Here is a link....
http://www.inlamagazine.com/1104/cover/cover.html
Tristen
Thanks for the magazine link.
I noticed that it is possible to access the whole issue online via a pdf file.
Very cute article inside...catching up with Jill to see what she is up to.
And on a side note...just wondering who is the fan wanting Jill's drawers...?
lol :P
Who asked Jill for her
Who asked Jill for her underwear? Fess up missy!!!
Which one of you crazies did that? HA HA HA.
Still laughing.
LOL.
could you please post the link for that file?
Hello Pyewacket,
could you please post the link for that file? I just can't find it. Thaks a million,
Have fun!
Here is the link.
This is a rather LARGE pdf file so it takes a bit of time to come up...so be patient...
http://www.inlamagazine.com/pdfedition/1104.pdf
:)
could you please post the link for that file?
Hello Pyewacket,
I am the opposite of patient, but it was worthy. OMG ! She is so increadibly HOT, HOT, HOT! AAAAA! MMMM!
Oh my! Thanks a million, this is awesome even the dudes are hot in that magazine. Cool...
I completely disagree, in my point of view JB's BEST FEATURE: HER PERSONALITY! It makes her even more sexy, if it is possible. MMMMM!
Have fun!
Welcome Back, Cathy...
It's great to have you back in your official vlogger capacity, even though seeing you in the Dinah vlogs has been awesome too.
I have to say that I totally love the beginning with your dog... how damn cute is that pooch?
Glad to see the wickedly cool Janet Robin back in the "house" and playing a new tune.
As always nice to also see the very camera friendly-Jill Bennett make a cameo.
Dad... okay, that's different, but why not?
Oh and how many times am I going to have to rewatch this vlog... whenever you're wearing those tank tops and showing off those very well defined muscles of yours, I have trouble concentrating... so now I'm going to go back and watch this vlog again.
as always... lovin' you & the "guns",
(Self Appointed) "#1 Bridget McManus Fan"
I'm from the same city as
I'm from the same city as Andrea! Crazy.
Comet!
Seriously, could your dog be any more adorable? She looks like a darker version of one of my dogs.
Anyway, i loved listening to Janet and i'm happy to see your vlog has returned to us. This is definitely one of my favorite vlogs on AE.
Projection & communication.
Cathy...your vlogs always help me do some personal reflection and take stock of where I am at the moment. I realized I have changed a lot in 10 years. Back then I leaned more heavily toward the projection side of things then communicating. And I can understand why it would be a pet peeve of yours. It can be hard to connect to someone who won't open up much to you but often assumes a lot of things and acts (or reacts) based on those assumptions.
For me, more projection and less communication was all about self-preservation growing up. And I had to work very hard to undo that in order to have the type of personal relationships I wanted in my life.
So it was great to listen to you...take stock of me...and note how far I have come.
Thanks.
oh my ba-jeeeeeeeezusssss
Cathy do you LOOK GOOD!!!! Effffin gorgeous girl, i love you!!!!!
Please tell me you're back for good now. Sarah, can't we have MORE CATHY PLEASE????
I love that dog of yours, she is so very cute. That was hilarious, her peeing on the curb your dog sign, Cathy I love your sense of humour.
And Janetrocks.
for Chenna
same combo in my family.
same combo in my family.
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http://thequeerafrican.blogspot.com/
I'm queer and African ... deal with it
Gay siblings
I'm gay and my younger sister is bi. So yes, it is possible. And I do believe I read in one of my first-year Psych books that falling for the same gender is caused partly by genetics.
http://goldenskye.hyves.nl/ (It's a Dutch version of MySpace)
did you say walk?!
projection?
I loved ur vlog today.. a little different then usual... but u got to more letters which is awesome...
My only thing is .... that projection thing?? I mean what if u have approached someone and they "lie" to u, and tell you they are straight and not interested.... but continue to make definite advances?? I am just being kind to her, being her friend, n leaving it alone... but sometimes even checking it out, doesn't help if the person can't be honest with themselves...
Ameara <3