Wow this seems to be the week of serious vlogs! It started with Jillie on BwB and now this! The humour is great but I love when the AE-ers can get serious as well!! I can't wait to watch this - not one, not two, but three fabulous ladies!! Too bad chemistry takes priority over AE!! (It so wouldn't if it was up to me!)

Hope y'all are having fun at Dinah!!!!

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After watching it all I can say is Wow. That was so intense and moving, I think this is the first vlog that's made me cry. To both ladies who wrote it all I can say is stay strong, I know you have the strength to overcome these problems! And thank you so much for sharing your stories, you have no idea how much it helps so many others just to know they're not alone.

Traci and Jane, you were phenomenal and so inspirational. Thank you both for sharing your experiences and how you overcame them, you inspire hope and change for the better.

Traci - You're stunning and talented and to know that such a wonderful person went through such a hard time and came out on top is so touching and beautiful. And to share your story with all of us AE is a truly brave and amazing thing to do. Thank you for being such an amazing person, I'm so glad you made it through the tough times!

Thanks again to all of you both the vloggers and the ladies who wrote in, you're all heroes!

I've been waiting to see this... off to watch it then!!!

You all have a blast at Dinah!!

---

ok, now that I've watched it... wow, I love it when you're funny and silly, and when you're serious and insightful. Thank you Cathy!

It was well worth the wait to get to watch such a great vlog...

my capadocia recaps

myspace

love the vlog and i'm happy your back.

ps. you should have Jill Bennett on your vlog!

Serious vlog this week.

I can't even think straight...

I have no words... that was such a moving Volg, it was very inspirational, thanks for sharing your stories.

Thank you

~Sarah

I started listening to this Vblog in an idle way because I didn't have to look at it and could work while I listened. I don't put much stock in theropy...I worked for many years as a gardener and always had a couple of theropists as clients and boy they were every one of them totally messed up people...made me leery. But I have slowly come to respect what you say and how you share it and its made me think differently.

I thought this Vblog was terrific, it addressed the letters in a very helpful way. The guests were focused and honest and dug deep to help with something they had personal experience with and had worked through themselves.

Cathy I think your time and effort and thoughtfulness has created something of worth and showed me to not be so darn judgemental.

A fascinating period of literary life among the expatriates from the US and UK, and louche French writers, in Paris. There are a lot of books from / about that period that are worth investigating.

Should thatr eference be to early *20th* century though? (Roughly early Gertrude Stein and her literary salon and artistic coterie.)

Fantastic vlog, love the intellectual content.

I cried a lot... that's why i love so much WYP; not because it made me cry but because they are so intense, powerful, and beautiful vlogs.

Traci and Jane were perfect guests... Traci really moved me...

Anyway words aren't the best to describe how I feel about that vlog, i'll just say thank you to all 3 and to the 2 people who share their stories with us.

i hear you. i see you. and i know exactly how you feel. you might not believe me. i know i didn't believe people when i was at the place that you're now. but hopefully you'll read my comment and decide, for whatever reason, to take a leap of faith. faith in yourself and your ability to heal and show yourself, and the the whole world, all your true beautiful colors. in order to do that, the first thing you need to acknowledge is that you are worthy of love, and the first step is to love yourself, truly, deeply and wholly. and for that end, do what ever you have to do: go to therapy, join a group, read "the secrete". whatever mean necessary to move you from the point you're now, to a different, better and a happy place.

and if you think what Traci was saying is banal or senseless, please trust me when i tell you she's 100% right. infact i'm going out for my daily run right now.

please find an ounce of strength with in you to make one small change in your life. just one thing that is contrary to what you are doing now. once you do that, the rest of your journey (and that's what life is), will get brighter and clearer.

and one final note: don't stop yourself from embracing your true sexuality and sexual orientation. for me (and i know that for many other people), being gay turned out to be the best part of my life! 

if you'de like, you can send me a message, here or on myspace.com/hadasb.

take good care of yourself! 

Cathy, not only are you terrific but you seem to have friends tailor made for each week's offering.  Those 2 ladies were thoughtful and obviously caring individuals with great insight to add to your own.

Thanks so much for what you do.  While I don't have either of those problems I take away tidbits that DO pertain to me and how I view myself and it gave me pause to help me work on some of my own issues.  I say BRAVO for what you are accomplishing here.  To the writers of today's problems, you have gotten some important advice here, and I hope you will use thisas a step in the right direction to find help.  There are so many people who DO care!

Cathy, hope you are feeling better soon.  Chicken soup, plenty of fluids and get some rest!

Great song Traci!!!

I rarely post on here but I had to log in especially to thank you all for this vlog. The bravery of Traci and Jane was touching. You were perfect vlog guests.

Thank you Cathy for starting this. I agree with the poster above that even if it isn't about my issues, I always take something away from watching you.

There is so much pain and suffering out there and isn't a blessing that so many of us can go somewhere to express that pain and get solid advice. Jane and Traci thanks for sharing your stories and insights. Cathy, I know this is a short vlog, not meant to take the place of a a therapist, but I think what you do on here really does help in significant ways.

For the two letters writers, you may not know it, but your not alone and by sharing you have also helped others with similar situations. So thanks and hang in there.

I dunno Cathy, your already sexy enough, I don't know that you need that husky voice thing going on. Get better soon.

I must say this a very touching vlog. When Tracie was speaking. It was like I was a teen all over again hearing you.  Very nice job ladies. Two young womyn. You exist b/c you are loved. We love you although you are strangers. The kind of love we're giving is community love=sharing and giving. thank you for all of you sharing your stories. There are many womyn thoughout ages and divides that r where you r but do not want to be in that moment. Many have conquered, many have not. I want you to be a conqueror of your world. So don't leave your place for someone else to take. You r here to offer something great to yourselves and to others. Discover it and Embrace it. Keep on changing. You're only in that dark moment which only you can change to better  happier moments. It's your life and your power. No one else. So take the first step and stay.

<td hei

Cathy, is it your plan to make me fall in love with all of your friends? You know I have a girlfriend already. Man, I love that Traci and Jane. What amazing humans! How generous! You guys were having yourselves SOME church and I was ready for the plate to get passed around. I would have put a couple of bills in too because this vlog must continue.

I truly think that seeing women being a happy, fun contribution to their own community does more good than help-lines and community centers to the average girl with confusion and questions. And let the lines stay clear and the community centers have more room for the people who need some more intensive care. Some problems can be laughed away once you know that other women just like you can relate. I don't even have many problems, but this is the place to come for a feel-good laugh...well, today there was a cry in my laugh. I really trusted in your intention to touch lives. I commend you.

This is a great shot in the arm for me each week and gives me peace knowing that there are so many people who really need it. I hope you are thriving, Cathy. You are giving a lot of yourself. I know the hours it takes to shoot, edit, prepare and book people. I wish so badly that I could have had access to this vlog when I was growing up hiding who I was every minute. Thankyou. Thankyou. Thankyou.

Thought I'd mention that I didn't see any moths...knock on wood.

Patti

I love all the vlogs on AE, but this is my personal favourite.

I could not bring myself to respond to the idiotic discussion following Bridget's vlog last Sunday. You are all stars in your own way.

Again, Cathy is my favourite, but please, all of you vloggers at AE, keep it up. You are ground breaking.

Have a great time at Dinah and again, thank you!

 Acisse

"Desiderata"

Hi Ladies, 

I hope, that those of you who wrote in are actually bothering to read our comments, too,

 'cause this two cents is for you guys.

To Val:

Don't judge your friends too harshly.Maybe they only picked up on things right now, 

or it was easier for them to link the coke to a girlfriend.It's tough.Sometimes we choose to not see things, because we can't deal with them.But that's not malevolent intent.They did come through.

Don't be afaid of, or at least don't think you can't keep up your life, 

or your lifestyle without drugs.I felt a little of the undercurrent there:"I take drugs to boost me up, to keep going, and doing incredible things."Well, even if college might take a little longer, or you migh have to call on someone for a ride, or embarrass the hell out of yourself sometime.That's life.But at least it's gonna be you,and not the coke acting.It's our weaknesses that make us lovable in the end.At least I hope so;-)

To Anonymous:

Hi,there.

If you might think to yourself,"Hey, they all say, we're with you.What do they know?People, on the Internet, far away..I'm here, alone.." You really are not alone.Your letter touched me deeply, as I am sure it has touched many others.You may think you are broken.You are scarred.And uncool, even.

But guess what.Exactly that makes you not alone.I went through a bout of severe depression a couple of years ago.And only then did I realize, that I had been dealing with latent depression for a very,very long time.I felt, for my very own, sound reasons, that I was so broken, that I could not ever be fixed again.And I was just so,so tired.Of all the pain, the struggling, the badness.I didn't want to die.I really didn't.But I was so desperate, so wretched, so in pain, so guilty, that I could not be unaccompanied, lest I might harm myself.I had help.I chose help.I agreed to dates,therapy, and groups,and a psychotherapeutic clinic, and still have a therapist.And I can tell you that it is work.Lot's of work.And the hardest there might be.And sometimes, I still have trouble getting out of bed, or letting people get close to me.But guess what, I go out.And I watch the sun set.Or I laugh with friends.And I know what that is worth.Cause I am here.I live.I have met so many people.Beautiful, upright, gracious people.Beaten into dust.Broken, beyond repair. And I will not say, they healed all up nicely.Some still struggle.But I know, the world would be so, so very empty without them.And I am grateful, very,very, grateful for them hanging on.It is work.And people cannot be repaired.But we can heal.There might be scars.But most people have these.You can be alright.

Hang on.Get help.It' s worth it.

Take Care, both of ya

D 

 @the crew:Thanks for the song, by the way, I really was touched:-)You gals,take care,too.and thanks 

"Have fun!"

"Don't have too much fun!!You'll end with one of those sexy transmission diseases!!" 

out of "Kick" 

Suicide & Crisis Hotline
1-800-999-9999

Gay & Lesbian National Hotline
1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)

Alcohol/Drug Abuse Hotline
1-800-662-HELP

24 Hour Cocaine Hotline
1-800-992-9239

Drug Help National Helplines
1-800-378-4435

www.cathydebuono.com and www.myspace.com/cathydebuono

...really insightful and helpful, like all of them, but it was nice to see a more serious side.

Your advice helps not only the one who asks for help but all the rest of us who are listening and going through similar problems, or just take some of your advice to improve our situations.

Thank you very much for taking the time (you and your friends).

PS: The Touch sounds like a great film.

I really enjoy this vlog and wanted to say that I think what you guys are doing here is needed and wonderful. 

To the letter writers: I have had my own experience with one of your issues and suffer from an anxiety disorder. I have been in therapy for 3 years on and off, and it has changed my life. You are not alone. I stand behind what Doreen posted above. I wish the best to the both of you and hope that you take steps to start living your lives. 

Thank you

Anastasia has never been one to be silenced, but this vlog changes everything.  To both "Val" and "anonymous", my wish for you is that you are able to embrace the love around you.  Hear the voices of love being thrown at you.  Get the help you deserve so you can have the life you deserve.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

I think this has been the most important vlog you have done so far, Cathy.  There is a time and a place for play, but the serious advice given by you and your (tailor made) guests is the core of your powerful work.

Cathy, thank you for giving a voice to those who feel they have none.  Anastasia lost her voice once, too.  Only with the love and support of people like you, was she able to speak again.  Now, she sings - everyday.

Warm love to you all.

A GREAT support site for self-injury and eating disorders is http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/. there are tons of great people there that know exactly what you are going through. there is always someone to talk to. the site also has distraction and game pages. The people there have helped me a alot.

Great vlog.

That was really amazing. I'm astonished and incredibly glad that these women in the AE community like Cathy can not only be humorous and fun but also intense and so warm and sensitive to people they don't even know.

The connections i feel present in this community, despite not knowing anyone in person, make me able to understand how you can connect with someone so deeply and sincerely and care so much about what happens to them. I personally feel connected to many if not all members of this and the general Lesbian comunity because it's so meaningful to all of us. We share a bond that no-one else can and it makes me feel so involved. It's a beautiful and rare thing for someone to **really** care what happens to others and i'm so glad the people in this community obviously feel that way.

I just want to commend Cathy, and Jane and Traci today. You do a magnificent job of showing just how much you care about *everyone*. And for Cathy in particular...i think i speak for many when i say that this shows you as your true self. You're so honest and in touch and it makes me feel, personally, like i have someone watching out for me.

Even if i never write to you or you never meet or hear from me in any way. I know that if ever there is something i seriously need advice about or i'm in search of help or an honest opinion. I know you'll be prepared to offer that advice or help. People who are prepared to give time and effort for that kind of contribution should be greatly commended. You deserve everything good that comes your way Cathy. You really do. You've helped so many and i hope you get the chance to help many more. :)

 Thankyou so much. 

"If you should see her...tell her I miss her still." -- Galinda. 'Wicked'

Oh my God, that Traci is HOT! and verrrry cute! u should definately have her back Cathy!! i like her. ;)

And i would just like to say to those girls who wrote those letters:

You are beautiful!!  No matter what people tell u or what your going through, u deserve to be happy! Everybody deserves happiness!! And everybody is beautiful. And yes, everyone has their flaws, and everyone has their problems, so never feel u are alone. We ALL go through different situations.

I would recommend u see a counselor. Sometimes when im having a rotten day, i visit them just to speak to someone that will LISTEN.  thats their job, to listen. And the great thing is, they can't speak of what u told them to anyone. its all private.

just remember that your beautiful! Once u know that, you'll learn to respect yourself, and Love yourself! XXXxxx

seriously -- what a crumpet.

 Cathy, an injured world craves healing.  we're grateful you're here.

This was incredibly touching. I'm not sure why no one has put cathy on t.v. as the more attractive, more interesting dr. phil and i'm also not sure what the singing was about but either way: talk show: HELLO! 

BTW it is also hot that Traci talked about her personal experiences upfront. It's such an attractive quality when someone can talk about something (that's generally hushed in public) to benefit of others. 

The Touch, it's my friend on myspace:)

Don't know where to start.  Just feel like I wanna say that Cathy's vlog is my favorite for a number of reasons but specifically because I always come away with more knowledge, more understanding and more caring.  Can't say enough good things about Traci and Jane, they were the perfect guests and I thought the song at the end was so touching.  Wow, just have so many thoughts running through my head...

Thanks Cathy, you make our community a better place to be.  

Jane, Traci and Cathy, you wouldn't believe how much your words have helped.  I've found myself in a somewhat similar situation recently and your advice has opened my eyes. Someone said it earlier and I want to agree that Cathy needs her own talk show. 

Thank you so much for this cast. It really hit the core with me. I have luckily moved on from those low points in my life and know how hard it can be for someone to admit that there's a problem they need to deal with. I know how much this vlog will mean to so many people and i know it will help a lot. just to know that there are others out there that care and can relate to you when you're at the point in life, it means everything.

It's scary when you have a problem that you thought you had overcome but then something happens and it brings those urges back. That's what happened to me when I began college last fall. new school, new people, keeping scholarships, everyone being sick in the family, grades, money, threats of parental support taken away if i "stayed" gay, an autistic brother and SO many more things to deal with all at once. I reached my point where i had a breakdown. it was ugly , but it's what i needed though. i picked myself back up and just made myself a simple routine. took a break from college just to get my life back on track and eventually build myself back up. one day, hour, at a time. I got myself out of that dark place. It takes work, and so many people supported me. especially people i barely knew at school. there are people that can help and direct you sometimes in the place you would least expect. My problem was i didn't want to admit to others that i was barely holding on, but they saw it when i thought i was all alone.

I just want to say THANK YOU again for sharing and just being there for us all. You all are truly inspirational.

~*~"That's what we all dream about isn't it? Someone who looks so deeply into our soul that...they'd find something worth dying for."---Gabrielle~*~

it was so nice and touching to see that vlog.

I suffer myself of depression, alcohol abuse, suicide thoughts but I took the advice of one of my friends and I'm now seeing a specialist every week. It hasn't been easy but I'm working on it and I'm hopeful for the future.

Cathy all your vlogs have been very helpful, we don't always have the courage to ask for help but with you we can speak freely.

thank you

http://sheroescentral.com/hotline.html#top is a HUGE list of hotlines. I hope they're able to help somebody.

-Ang

I have to say, after watching this, I'm more glad than ever that we have this vlog. This episode was... especial. Both letters touched me deeply (for what I've read most of us feel that way) and I honestly think that the fact that you girls took the time to write and send them shows that you both know there's a better place to be in your lives and I think that through writting about it you're taking the first small steps towards getting there.

But most of all, I hope you realised, not only after hearing what the girls on the vlog had to say, but especially after all the responses you guys have been getting on the comments by the rest of us, that you are not alone. In my personal experience, acknowledging that and really convice myself of that, was the hardest thing to do. And I still have a hard time getting there, I still find it difficult to ask for help sometimes. I know it's so hard sometimes not to feel like you're completly alone in whatever it is you're going through and that no one around you seems to care or even notice that you are seconds away from dissapearing. But girls, look up and see you're not alone. It's hard cos at first you don't see anything but your own depression, but you must convice yourself that there's nothing you can't handle, but for that you need help and that comes from others. I won't get tired of saying it: you are not alone. If you want, write me and I'll say it again :) .

I can relate to some of the topics you treated on this episode, and I must say everything you said is true. The advice you gave was truly inspiring and really honest. Thanks to Traci & Jane for your openess and for sharing so much with us.

And thank you Cathy for another great episode, which was a bit more serious than previous ones, but totally worth it.

Keep it simple!

• Miss Fairbanks

Let's get one thing straight... I'm not.

I've struggled with self destructive habits for most of my life.  Through therapy, medication, love and friends, I've gotten this far.  There are times when I forget that I'm worthy of love.  It's people like you, Traci, and Jane (and all of your other friends/guests) who through your willingness to give back selflessly, that I remember who I am and what it's all about.  There aren't adequate words to express what an amazingly beautiful soul you are.

Thank you for all that you are, and all that you do.

=:D

I'm writing this through a film of tears, so I hope this comes out with some kind of eloquence.

I have totally been where both of these women are.  Depression is one of the worst things in the world.  It's amazing how something going on in your mind can take control over your entire life.  But I must say what Traci said is so right on.  Just moving and going through a routine can help you get to the other side.

Another thing I've found that helps a lot is writing.  In fact when I don't write, I feel this overwhelming black cloud almost envelop me.  But just stream of consciousness, write whatever comes to mind, and just do it for twenty minutes or so.  It gives you a clearer head afterwards.

I know that my depression did get so bad at one point that I made an attempt at my own life by swallowing a bottle of pills.  I woke up in the middle of the night choking on vomit with the thought of "I don't want to die".  And, by the grace of whatever, I didn't.  It didn't really hit me how serious suicide was until an aquaintance of mine in college killed herself and I was hit very hard by it.  We were not really friends and we only had one class together but I know that I was completely torn up by the fact that this girl had just ended her life at 19.  It made me realize that even if you feel alone, you are never alone.  Someone is going to notice you and someone is noticing you right now.  Every human being on the planet leaves their handprint and there is a shift or change when that is removed.

Sorry to get so personal in a comment, but this was just one of those vlogs.  So moving and so real.  I really needed that. 

Nobody objects to a woman being a good writer or sculptor or geneticist if at the same time she manages to be a good wife, good mother, good-looking, good-tempered, well-groomed, and unaggressive. - Leslie M. McIntyre

when I was watching this. I just got done with a track meet. I am a throwing coach and have been doing it for 8 years now. I am having a very trying year, my grandma pasted (she raised me since I was 11), I have to move out of my home (my uncle wants me to pay for my own house) and just realizing how this whole time my family didn't see the real me (got into a big fight and not so nice words were said). Back to track... my head is not into my coaching but I still worry about my girls cause one of them that graduated started to use coke and she ended up having to quit college (her mom pulled her out and forced her to stop). But, my main thing is that as a coach I try to prevent and make sure I find ways to teach life lessons. Not just that , dont do drugs or stay in school. I try to tell them how life drags you down and it is hard and people will go thru things that are very trying and very VERY hard. I push them and really work with courage and not being afraid of something new and how to really do well under pressure. But, everyone does not do sports and I just want to say THANK YOU CATHY because it is SO SO important that you address it the way that you did and not just the 2 girls who wrote to you heard it but coutless others who needed to hear something like that. I got teary eyed cause my heart aches for all those women who think they are alone and that noone cares and they dont have anyone to talk to.

Wounderful job!

I've been thinking about why this vlog is so important to me and I've decided that because I've been around the internet for quite some time in many different groups, it's always struck me that people can be very mean. This vlog is my favorite because I don't get any of that smack here, it's people taking their time to help others, without pay, just because they want to help. It's like a little safe harbor in a world of bullys.

I took your advice to heart. I suffer from anxiety disorder and seasonal affective disorder, along with ADD. The last few months have been trying and while I don't have the same intense situations going on as the two who wrote in, it's been tough. Throughout the situation I have been able to come here and get not only comic relief, but also here advice that really has helped me. This episode was especially important to me, because I was reminded that I need to take care of myself, stick to the basics and know that my only problem is my mind set. That's what I got out of the episode.

So, thank you Cathy and all your guests for being funny, caring and above all kind.