How hetero are you? Your tweets reveal all!

Posted by

, Founder and Former Editor in Chief on July 17, 2009

To help promote their upcoming pride event — and to raise awareness about the words we use when we communicate our thoughts to the world — Stockholm Pride has created an online tool that analyzes your tweets to determine how much you conform to the "hetero norm."

In other words: it tells you how gay you are, based on how many "gay cliché" words you use in your tweets — the more you use, the less hetero you are.

So it's not at all scientific. And apparently bisexuality doesn't exist. But it's fun!

In the spirit of ~~wasting time on a Friday~~ doing the tough research so you don't have to, I analyzed the twitterstreams of several different women (and some websites) to determine how hetero they are.

The results are provided below, but I must warn you, some of it is downright shocking:

Rachel Maddow is more hetero than Meghan McCain!

Fox News is gayer than Bridget McManus!

Lindsay Lohan is mostly straight and Dara Nai is really, really gay (well, we know this last one's true, at least).

Read on for more revelations of who landed where on the hetero scale — along with Stockholm Pride's description of each person's sexual orientation, and a list of which words got them there.

1% Hetero AfterEllen.com: @afterellen
gay, butch, bisexual, lgbt, pride

You got nothing of it in you. Really? Nothing at all? Well, welcome to Pride.

Also having "nothing of it in you"? @DaraNai (ass, sugar, gay, truck, prop 8) and @StaceyannChin at 1% (new york, san francisco, gay, pride, prop 8), and @KarmanKregloe at 4% (stonewall, stonewall inn, milk, pride, dolly parton).

12% Hetero Fox News: @foxnews
politics, oil, military, new york, key west

You're barely hetero at all. Don't you wish you've just got a few more points? To spice things up a bit? No? Alright.

19% Hetero Bridget McManus: @bridgetmcmanus
trevor, ass, lgbt, body, water drops

You're a wonder of non-heteroism. Calling you hetero is like streaking in the parliament. Tempting but plain wrong.

27% Hetero Meghan McCain: @McCainBlogette
trevor, ass, lgbt, body, water drops

You seem to be holiday hetero. Anything can happen when the relaxation kicks in and you have a couple of glasses from that bottle of wine you got as a birthday present from work.

33% Hetero Trish Bendix: @trishtype
gay, pride, parade, homo, ellen

Oh you, you're a sneak hetero. Who do you think you're fooling? Anyone can se that there's some hetero in there.

39% Hetero Ruby Rose: @RubyRose1
vegan, leather, butch, madonna, big brother

You're a bit retro hetero. Take care of your hetero memories, they're as important to you as the flannel shirt was to the grunge.

Also coming in as "retro hetero"? @katyperry at 36% (amsterdam, body, bless, bitch, beef).

44% Hetero Nancylee Myatt: @IShakeitUp
gay, ass, brilliant, whiskey, capote

You're pretty much a hetero hybrid. Why wouldn't an extra orientation work?

52% Hetero Rachel Maddow: @maddow
politics, football, debate, prop 8, coming out

You're confusingly hetero. Your friends know. Your family know. You're probably the only one who isn't sure on where you stand.

Also registering at "confusingly hetero"? @CrystalChappell (brilliant, ass, coming out, new york, steak) and @Amber_Benson (bender, midtown, new york, hot dog, big girl) at 52%, and @MindyKaling at 54% (sugar, new york, body, again virgin, oil).

58% Hetero Dichen Lachman: @dichenlachman
spit, good work, hot dog, ass, millk

You're as hetero as low-fat mayonnaise. Trying to have our cake and eat it too are we?

66% Hetero Sarah Warn: @sarahwarn
sugar, anatomy, politics, l word, the twilight

You're very metro hetero. Hetero. Not hetro. Hetero. Not hetero. Who can know for sure? Probably few but you.

1% Hetero Eliza Dushku: @ElizaPatricia
bless, ass, the fox, south end, newton

You're boomerang hetero. It doesn't matter how hard you try to gain new experiences, magically you always return to your starting point.

More "boomerang heteros"? @anamariecox at 72% (binding, politics, brandy, debate, ass) and @TheEllenShow (prop 8, football, boom boom, buns, body), @AishaTyler (xbox, bunny, coming out, x-men, closet) at 73%, and @michelleparadis (the twilight, cleaned, fashion, date, perfume), and @samantharonson at 75% (ass, family stone, miami, bitch, drink).

85% Hetero Lindsay Lohan: @sevinnyne6126
brilliant, gay, bless, booth, tanning

You're as hetero as black coffee. Bitter, unpretentious and doubtless popular. But what's the deal with that burnt aftertaste?

Another woman who's as "hetero as black coffee"? @AmandaPalmer at 83% (elephant, new york, david bowie, ass, bugger).

The most amusing part of all this is the words they've flagged as gay clichés for women. Words like gay, ass, and David Bowie I get, but tanning, hot dog, boom boom, the twilight, and steak? Newton? Again Virgin? (I don't even know what that last phrase means.) The words they've flagged as gay clichés for men are funny, too (figure skating, condo, bless), and you'll never guess where the 700 Club lands on the scale; read AfterElton.com's post about this for more details.

See how hetero YOU are by submitting your own twitter username here, and let us know the results in the comments!

I'll be back to read them after I go find myself a man, since I'm "metro hetero" now.

Sarah Warn's blog
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1% Hetero

Posted by

GrrrlRomeo (1475 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 05:22pm

My tweets say I'm 1% hetero if I say I'm a girl and 6% hetero if I say I'm a boy.

Yeah...I'm pretty gay.

Words were gay, bashing, basher, lgbt and monster.

I'm assuming they mean Monster the movie? Those tweets were about me being a monster without my coffee.

_____________

Tweet: @GrrrlRomeo

Eight percent hetero..

Posted by

Christie Keith (79 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 05:23pm

I got 8 percent hetero. "You're nano hetero. You know that string of hair that just doesn't fit in with the rest? That leans to the right when the rest are going to the left? That's your heterosexuality."

My words were "Shelter, breeders, gay, community, and prop 8."

What cracks me up is that I was using "shelter" and "breeders" in their animal sense, not their gay sense. So they're right and yet, very wrong.

http://www.twitter.com/christiekeith

34% Hetero

Posted by

Nelfy (447 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 05:19pm

How disappointing! found words were "Angelina, gay, anatomy, fame, bone" (bone? I didn't even know I'd used that word on twitter before). I'm a sneak hetero, apparently. funny idea though!

http://www.twitter.com/ChrisakaNelfy

I love that Fox news is only 12% Hetero! Hee Hee

http://babydyke.blogspot.com/ - my take on all things lesbian

48% Hetero

Posted by

Megsy (60 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 06:06pm

Thats disgraceful surely the amount of Judy Garland songs I've put up links for should've given me a few more gay points!!! lol

:(

Posted by

dittybop (87 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 05:26pm

I didn't get a percentage. :(

According to them:

Quote:

"mytwitternamehere doesn't use cliché words. We like that. See you at Stockholm Pride!"

Fail.

Welcome to the club. g

Posted by

Cody (15 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 05:53pm

Welcome to the club. *g*

Not that bad

Posted by

Justyna (31 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 05:56pm

I got the same result. But I think that not using cliché words is actually a good thing. =]

i got the result saying

Posted by

christine (2 posts)

on July 20, 2009 at 10:17am

i got the result saying "cliche" but that was only cos my setting is on private therefore it couldnt read my tweets.

..that's a possiblity :)

Yep.

Posted by

fallon ash (420 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 06:33pm

Me too. Really? Since when aren't Xena, Mariska, goddess, and political correctness lesbian clichés?

This was my result too!

Posted by

AlexaGrace (57 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 10:17pm

This was my result too!

same result here as well~

Posted by

Cam (10 posts)

on July 18, 2009 at 06:33am

then again, I also tweet in languages that are not English. X3

Are your tweets

Posted by

jaydock (79 posts)

on July 18, 2009 at 04:50pm

Are your tweets protected?

Because mine were, and that's the answer I got, but then I un-protected them and got 33%!

thanks

Posted by

Reign (294 posts)

on July 19, 2009 at 01:46am

My tweets were protected..I unprotected them and these are my new results

72% Boomerang Hetero..for words like: lword, lgbt, rainbow, light, clean

my mother would be proud! :oD

same

Posted by

Reign (294 posts)

on July 19, 2009 at 01:39am

I got the same result....does that mean I have no hetero in me?????

......totally confused

I got the same response to

Posted by

Walking_Contrad... (35 posts)

on July 24, 2009 at 11:10am

I got the same response to my twitter name...don't be sad...I concider that an epic win not a fail...we are originals! (or something like that)

"Nothing is impossible and there is no such thing as a lost cause"

ummm

Posted by

Mia Jones (295 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 05:34pm

@ChubbyJones is 56% hetero. Should I tell my parents?

61% Hetero

Posted by

Jill (60 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 05:35pm

"You seem to be a bit semi-hetero. Just like a chocolate chip ice cream you don't really know what you want to be. Basically it's a vanilla ice cream but what's the deal with the chocolate thingies? Luckily, most people like chocolate."

Looks like I have some work to do. . . .

Jill

http://twitter.com/72jill

tegan and sara are

Posted by

Anonymous

on July 17, 2009 at 05:37pm

tegan and sara are apparently 90% hetero...

please, god, no!

hahaha

Posted by

frosted_lemon_coward (35 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 07:23pm

I looked them up too, that's awful. Tegan's gf is 87% hetero...how unfortunate.

76% hetero not very

Posted by

Koolandthegang (68 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 05:39pm

76% hetero

not very accurate methinks :)

Apparantly

Posted by

clairey (178 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 05:41pm

Apparantly I'm both a gay girl and a gay boy...01% in both cases. Now I am gonna repeat boom boom and buns until I get it down to 0%.

ha

Posted by

1biglesbo (60 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 05:44pm

1% hetero...

Just like Sarah! Well...not just like, I guess.

Posted by

chicker (52 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 05:44pm

I got 70% so apparently I'm a "metro hetero." But I actually am hetero, so my score is probably about right. My gay cliché words were sugar, the closet (I tweet when I get dressed in the morning, what?), coffee date, cruising, and booze.

83% hetero ...

Posted by

TehMorp (230 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 05:44pm

... but thank god I'm still gayer than Tegan Quin!

72 % hetero...

Posted by

laura.g (200 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 05:52pm

..although I have know idea why the word(s) 'good work' are gay : ) I betcha if I said 'good job' it would have knocked it down another 20 %

11%

Posted by

carolsdc (130 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 05:54pm

Oh man, thats too much for me!

@carolsdc

I love it!

Posted by

aly (60 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 06:01pm

I'm in love with all things Twitter and I had to find out my results. Apparently, I'm 42% hetero. the words they analyzed were: leather, prop 8, black hole, coffee date, l word.

interesting

Posted by

wyle e coyote (99 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 06:02pm

Sorry, I don't tweet, but found this interesting. And OMG, it took me forever to figure out why "Oil" was one of the words!!! Isn't that sad?

"Every time two lesbians kiss, an angel gets its wings." --Roseanne

85% hetero

Posted by

Nykki (1 post)

on July 17, 2009 at 06:03pm

Exactly as gay as Lindsay Lohan. God help me.

01%

Posted by

biglittleone (17 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 06:14pm

my words were:

catch, bitch, gay

wow...

45% hetero

Posted by

SoccerAddict (26 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 06:15pm

with words like: soccer, football, gay, park slope, and new york

you'd think I'd have a lower hetero percentage. oh well. apparently i'm a "hetero hybrid"

I feel pressure to "gay" up my twitter feed now.

http://twitter.com/sportykristina

33% Hetero

Posted by

moose_emma (3 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 06:17pm

That means that a third of me likes men in the way that Paris Hilton likes men... well not *exactly* the way she likes them, but you know.

I have a traitorous third. I wonder where it is? - I hope that its somewhere like my feet.

Liz Feldman

Posted by

biglittleone (17 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 06:19pm

7% but I love the explanation

"You're nano hetero. You know that string of hair that just doesn't fit in with the rest? That leans to the right when the rest are going to the left? That's your heterosexuality."

haha xD

hmmm mine just says that

Posted by

Vaneez (81 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 06:20pm

hmmm

mine just says that I 'don't use cliche words'

so.. i dont get a percentage?

66% hetero

Posted by

Anonymous

on July 17, 2009 at 06:20pm

You're very metro hetero. Hetero. Not hetro. Hetero. Not hetero. Who can know for sure? Probably few but you.

74% hetero

Posted by

milk (25 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 06:23pm

Haha, I got 74% hetero and apparently am a boomerang hetero, with the words "bone", "brokeback mountain", "happy endings", "amazon" and "billy elliot". But then again, half of my tweets are in portuguese, so this couldn't be very accurate anyway.

I'm 66% :( it's the same if

Posted by

Ellen (120 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 06:28pm

I'm 66% :( it's the same if I'm a boy or a girl. Apparently tan lines was one of my cliche words, I didn't realise that was a lesbian thing...

43% burnt.

Posted by

Atro (81 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 06:32pm

According to the hetero norm theskooks is 43% hetero.
Found words: ellen, steak, body, bugger, quest.

...quest?!

- - - - - - - - -

http://skooks.tumblr.com/

81%!!

Posted by

Anonymous

on July 17, 2009 at 06:41pm

Found words: brilliant, monster, ass, bone, biscuit (these are just today's tweets, of which, are mostly song lyrics and what I had for breakfast!)...

Obviously, these people do not that I've been reading and writing VERY GAY fanfic all day...(so much so that I almost typed "riding" instead if "writing"!)

77%

Posted by

phonakins (14 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 07:12pm

77% apparently! :p

the little lioness...

55% Hetero

Posted by

frosted_lemon_coward (35 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 07:27pm

Words Found: gay, truck, bum, b!tch, buns

You're confusingly hetero. Your friends know. Your family know. You're probably the only one who isn't sure on where you stand.

...when did I say buns????

66%

Posted by

polkadotwings (113 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 07:31pm

lol ok this thing is just weird. i think the words they found were kind of amusing though: carry on, wilde, anatomy, bruno, ellen

I have no recollection of using the word "anatomy" in any of my tweets though and I have no idea what context "carry on" came from lol.

1%

Posted by

Cassidy (7 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 07:35pm

Hahaha figures.

Barely Hetero

Posted by

SeeCoryPlay (9 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 07:45pm

I'm 15% hetero...guess I better dead bolt the door just in case.

My words: Pride, gay, big girl, ass, butch...nice vocab for a college grad!

"You're barely hetero at all. Don't you whish you've just got a few more points? To spice things up a bit? No? Alright."

No cliché words for me...

Posted by

yellowstark (11 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 07:49pm

...ha.

60%

Posted by

moony (145 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 08:19pm

bashing, bless, bitch, cute, flowers

That's "bitch," the verb, not the noun. I wonder if that makes me gayer or less gay.

96%

Posted by

Dr. LADY-CROFT (38 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 08:35pm

96% ''Hetero is your middle name. You make Queen Elisabeth look gay.'' LMFAO

Yea right...

41%

Posted by

meredithchristy (5 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 09:31pm

As a girl, I am 41% heteo. You're pretty much a hetero hybrid. Why wouldn't an extra orientation work?

Words they found : top model, gay, ass, quest, milk

Also tried as a boy and I skyrocket to 13% hetero!! haha. You're barely hetero at all. Don't you wish you've just got a few more points? To spice things up a bit? No? Alright.

Words they found: drinks, gym, top model, gay, ass

@outoutout - 63% Hetero Female, 48% Hetero Male! (LOL)

Posted by

outoutout (30 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 09:56pm

Plugged myself in as a woman and got 63% Hetero:

Found words: gay, available, closet, community, sugar (?!)

You seem to be a bit semi-hetero. Just like a chocolate chip ice cream you don't really know what you want to be. Basically it's a vanilla ice cream but what's the deal with the chocolate thingies? Luckily, most people like chocolate.

Perhaps "semi-hetero" is another word for bisexual?

As a boy, I'm a bit gayer - 48%:

You're adventurous hetero. Hetero doesn't scare you! Grab life by the horns, get out and try your boundaries.

LOL

1%!!!

Posted by

Jeannette (147 posts)

on July 17, 2009 at 09:58pm

Only 1% hetero, no matter if I choose boy or girl. Woot! Sounds about right.

Found words: lgbt, vegan, prop 8, closeted, brilliant

Words they missed: Rachel Maddow, gay, DADT, hir

Yah, I'm super gay

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How hetero are you? Your tweets reveal all!

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