"Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull": Bad sequel, or worst sequel ever?

Yeah, I saw it, didn't find it to be that repulsive. Indy has always been sort of a corny parody bit. But I did find the predictability to be very disappointing.

I believe it was intended for Blanchett's accent to be cartoonish, otherwise it wouldn't have been allowed.

Btw-I thought she looked super hot in her wig, brought out her eyes. Anyone is sexy in a Louise Brooks bob, almost.

i thought it was a horrible waste of money. i generally like action movies, but this one was just bad. i loved spiderman and i never rolled my eyes at any of the insane feats that he accomplished but the whole three waterfalls thing in this movie was just ridiculous. And surviving a nuclear bomb in a refridgerator?! seriously?! and the aliens thing? WHY? so dumb. the whole thing just didn't make much sense in my opinion. why did indiana jones have to return the head and not the russians? they couldn't have done it themselves? it's not like it would have made any difference. ugh it was just a really, really bad movie.

I watched the movie yesterday and I really don't know, how to handle it. I would say, the fourth is better than the second (nervermind...anything is better that the second movie. that was awefull), but it wasn't quite good.
The action scenes, especially the half-hour ride on these old cars, were kind of funny. I liked them. But the rest? Well. I have to say, because the fact, that I watched it in german, I have no idea, how weird Cate Blachetts accent was. But in german it was taxing. Her voice tried to handle a strange mix of russian-american english. Too weird for me. And NOT attractive.

But the worst at all was the ending. Well, along the movie you could see, where they are going with their sculls, but come on!? Do we really have to see an Indiana Jones connecting with aliens?? Where do they get the script? From a Junior in actors class? Well, you see, that was enough for me. At the ending they really lost the plot.

While waiting for the fifth Indiana, what can we expect? An ancient culture at the center of the earth? At least something crazy.

Harrison lost his mojo. He was indeed not quite heartwarming as he was in the previous films. Thought the action sequence on the motor was the best in the whole movie, when they end up being in the library. THAT was nice action.

BUT. Ford didn't deliver his lines with passion and the writing sucked, the story was far too complicated with oekaboeka language I just did not get.

really dissapointed. I did thought Cate was great in her role and I heard too the on and off accent she did.

thanks Sarah for your review. I mostly agree.

Just so you can get a feel about how bad indiana jones was here are some VERY minor spoilers:

Aliens, flying saucers, and nuclear explosions leaving you completely unharmed.

Any questions? DON'T SEE THIS FILM!

ps, Sarah many indy lovers gave the film a perfect rating before they even saw it (check out IMDB, the movie had a 9 rating way before it was released) due to excitement, so it's taking actual reviewers to knock down the rating (which will take lots of time). Other more respectable reviewers gave the movie a mediocre rating that basically said "you'll love it if you're a hardcore indy fan, if you're not then "meh"".

sigh. this is what happens when Lucas is allowed to write anything and to have veto power over storylines--you get a steaming pile of shi@*te. 

I HATED what they did to Marion the most. She just kept smiling up at Indy as if he was the greatest thing and even their arguments seemed half assed at best. The potential conflict between Mutt and Indy as Mutt began to see how close Indy and his mom were was completely unexplored aside from one glowering glance given by Mutt to Indy. The most interesting part of the movie was Mac and Ox--they at least weren't playing it totally safe.

I think the reason why this movie is getting good reviews is because no one is taking it seriously. If you think about it none of the Indy movies are really that realistic; over the top but funny is how this series works. this movie just plays like a parody of every Indy movie and the people who like it seem to like it because its like a big inside joke that they're part of. Almost like its cool to just appreciate the references made to the series history and mythology and the connections to other Lucas films. They get that when Indy says "I have a bad feeling about this" its really Harrison Ford paying tribute to star wars where Han Solo says the exact same thing in the same manner. 

But I don't get why the critics aren't blasting this movie. probably because everyone is afraid to say something negative after the opening day numbers came in. Who wants to tell america that they're stupid to see the movie?  

Really good calls (the terrible writing; I too walked out because I was bored). I think the previous Indiana Jones films were also corny in their own right and I always pegged them down as mindless action fun. Because they are fun to watch but in the end they all seemed to be a bit of a mockery as well...they were pretty corny. I think this one's spoofiness (Is that a word? I don't think so) it just blatantly obvious because hey, the "Commies" aren't as much of a worrisome enemy as they were when the original Indy movies came out. Indy's always battled villains that were having or had some kind of impact in the real world (the Nazis, for one).

Personally (and I may get flamed for this heh) I think its just a case of having the wrong enemy in the wrong movie. Sometimes, to better identify with the audience, the enemy must be changed a bit to fit the times, which was probably hard to do considering the time period of this particular movie. If it were a character that could be toyed with and pushed forward to current times (or at least the year 2000), then maybe they could have done more...

For example, in the comics, Tony Stark (Iron Man) was captured by East Asian warlord Wong Chu. In the movie, the locale and enemy involved in his kidnapping have been changed to Afghanistan and Islamic terrorist Raza. I can't stand it sometimes, but at least that particular enemy didn't feel so damn out of place in the movie. So...yes at the time the movie is based in, the Soviets were a big concern, but they somehow still felt out of place (in this corny movie of 2008!) Not their fault. Even the Soviets can't do much with bad writing. Dang it.

But other than that, Crystal Skull is still a typical Indy movie...I for one cannot meet the required "suspension of disbelief" level to tolerate it lol The movie's got better imagery and effects than the previous three, but in the end, its just a re-hash of what we've already seen...with some seriously misplaced enemies.

"Karma! It's everywhere you're going to be!" - Anonymous

“The liar’s punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.” 
— George Bernard Shaw

Hi Sarah, 

Seriously... I could not believe that ending!!! Maybe Steven Spielberg was still thinking about "Taken". Roswell ETs? Seriously?? I thought the movie was not going that bad, until that crazy end! The three waterfalls and that Mayan style in Amazon?? As a brazilian, I've never heard of that!!! But well... I still can forgive it... but the aliens!!! I started to expect for ET and the bike at end, after that flying saucer... 

I actually liked the movie (minus the last 20 min). I came in excited about seeing an action filled, good time Indy flick, and that's what I got. It wasn't as good as the others, but I didn't expect it to be. I guess that, because my expectations weren't super high, I didn't have much to be let down about. I guess I took the whole thing with a grain of salt. I'd recommend it if you want something entertaining, but not if you want something great. Also, thank you for noticing Cate Blanchett's accent! No one else who saw it with me did, but it was AWFUL. They really should've worked on that.

"No problem is insoluble, given a big enough plastic bag."

I watched this like a parody, like a completely overthetop parody, and it was actually hilarious when you watch it like that.

There's NO WAY they could have meant this to be a serious action movie, that's just ridiculous.

They deliberately made the entire movie look like a typical action movie with good guys and bad guys, with a plot twist (Shia being Harrison's son), and a 'deep message' at the end (the treasure wasn't gold but wisdom).

And Cate's bad accent and Shia's badass attitude was all a part of that.

Basically, I thought this parody was hilarious.

Well, I saw it only because a friend wanted to see it for her birthday.  Apparently, she had loved the first three Indy flicks, whereas I had never seen any.  So, I went in with no expectations other than to hopefully just enjoy the movie.  Everything was predictable and the story line was odd or way over the top, but for someone like me who doesn't know Indy, I wasn't disappointed.  It was just an okay movie, but then again, I wasn't expecting to be impressed at all.

As soon as the word "roswell" appeared in the plot I immediately rolled my eyes, turned to my brother next to me and said "thats it, another movie ruined by Spielberg and Lucas with their alien obsession". This was in the first 10 minutes of the film. I then decided to switch my brain off because I knew that this film was going to be a theme park ride of potential marketing gimmicks, cheesy lines, un-realistic sequences and then the potential of a super duper cheese-fest when the aliens finally appear. I half expected Tom Cruise to come bouncing out of some tomb with a crystal skull... or the Alien to go "E.T. phone home!" at least it would of made me laugh... THere was no mystery to this film, you knew exactly where it was going from the minute it started... It was one big farce... like watching the Looney Tunes version of Indy (which I think, personally, would of been better...)

My brother and I laughed at the film for its absurdity and we kept each other entertained otherwise I think I may have fallen asleep. I was really disappointed, having grown up on the Indiana Films, and I think the reason why the critics are on their hands and knees shouting praise for the film, is no surprise to be honest... anything that Spielberg and Lucas create gets praise... think about it.... I remember even the Phantom Menace getting praise by majority of critics at first...

Sarah I agree with what you said... so does my brother and about 5 other people I know who have seen it...

P.s. My brain has since recovered from the numbing experience....

"There is no sin, except stupidity"

Oh so hollow

 I saw it yesterday and was very dissapointed, in spite of the fact that I hadn't really expected much from it.

First of all, the film felt like one big anachronism in many ways. Watching an old Harrison Ford jumping around as Indy seemed odd, seeing the old one-dimensional "evil Russians" storyline once again seemed very outdated (and fake accents don't help!), and when added a more modern X files touch of aliens it's just plain bizarre.

And I agree, the writing was poor. You know from the beginning that the kid is Indy's son, and that he will get back together with the mother (...though I must say I hadn't expected the plot to take them all the cheesy way to church - cosmos and holy nuclear family secured!)

To me, the whole film just seemed hollow. The playfulness, and thereby slightly naive feel, to the old films is missing, and what's left is one big, calculated plastic movie.

Anything positive - well... I still like the theme by John Williams.

That's what the local movie reviewer had to say about the new Indy movie and so I immediately realized I had to lower my expectations before I go to see it...which will not be this holiday weekend.

And as I read others' comments I see I need to do yet another expectation adjustment.  lol

But I don't think they were looking for Shia to be doing John Travolta's Danny Zucko in Grease but more like Marlon Brando's character in The Wild One. 

It's Indiana Jones, people!  You're taking this way too serious and missing the point of these movies.  They're fun!

The earlier Indy films were set in the 1930's and were an homage to films of that time.  This was an homage to the 1950's B-Movie Sci-Fi films.  And anyone who says that the dialogue or action scenes are too corny and over-the-top did NOT watch the prior films or completley forgot what they were like.  Complaining about the 3 waterfalls?  C'mon... in Temple of Doom they jumped out of a crashing airplane with an inflatible raft, flew down a mountain and then went over a waterfall!

And people are complaining about **Spoiler**

ALIENS?  But they DON'T have problems with ghosts flying out of the Ark, a Voodoo cult leader ripping hearts out of peoples chests, or a 300 year old knight?? And there actually are people that do believe Area 51 is hiding Alien technology. 

This movie was great fun!  Go and enjoy and stop over analayzing it.  And Ford looked great as ever in that costume and proves that you don't have to be thirty to  have a fun adventure and still kick some butt. 

*Spoilers*

My problem with teh film was the aliens all of a sudden i thought i was watching an episode of stargate SG1... they soo looked like the aliens in that.

And what was with the bad graphics when he was swinging through the trees?? Yeah i get that the movie is meant to be fun, i just feel like it let all the other films down.

Bottom line.  Ford is too old to be an action hero.

Tristen

LESBIAN ITEMS    http://www.zazzle.com/tristen12

It was just so bad.

It might have been great 20 years ago, but this is 2008, and the script, some of the special effects and just overall movie was BAD.

If I ever watch it again, it needs to be paired with a drinking game.

Allow me to tell you where you went wrong with this movie- you went into it expecting seriousness. Let us recount recent star wars activity with Mr. George Lucas... and by that i mean someone needs to revoke his ability to make movies.

With that being said... and taking into account George Lucas overinflated ego- you can't possibly imagine a good movie can you? Therefore to enjoy the movie- you must walk into it with a certain sense of " this is going to be like mystery science theater" and just have fun with it.

However I must say I think, whoever wrote this .... should be put down that or be forced to go back to school to learn how to write better scripts.

I kinda loved it! I haven't seen critics raving about it either, so I had no expectations at all. Then again, I'm a movie dork who gets excited seeing names like Janusz Kaminski and Ben Burtt in the credits. And even more excited when I see that George Lucas didn't write the dialogue. (Sorry George)

I thought Harrison Ford was believable and fun, I didn't hate Shia (didn't love him either), Cate was hot (because I seem to have a Pavlovian response to her), and I was thrilled to see Marion Ravenswood again. A little disappointed with how they wrote the character this time around, but oh well.

But, anyone who hasn't seen Raiders of the Lost Ark needs to run and get it! Seriously.

I enjoyed Indy 4

I was never a die hard fan of the Indiana Jones movies, unlike my ridiculous obsession with Star Wars. I enjoyed the cross between Indy and X-Files (another unhealthy addiction of mine) and I thought it was a fun movie. There were lines and scenes that were really hilarious because I'd seen the other movies and Star Wars and I got to disappear into this really great world for 2+ hours - I was entertained.

I didn't expect anything INCREDIBLE from George and Steven - Indy always just seemed like their "fun" movie... the movie they could do anything in and create a world where a puzzel can get you out of a jam. It's all about loyalty, humanity, and being intelligent. The original Indiana Jones films did seem more "serious" but like the Star Wars prequels, it didn't really seem to matter to me. The prarie dog moments, for instance, were ridiculous and pointless and made me think of George's brilliant idea of Jar-Jar Binks. He's not good at comedy, but he thinks he is, so he throws in these sorts of things that only kids are really amused by.

I think it was a fun movie and I appreciate that they made it... I really have missed seeing Harrison Ford on the big screen... but I think it's separated from the others because of the 16 years it took to make this one. It's less about making a film that brings in big bucks and more about making a film that gave cause to Steven, George, and Harrison to hang out together and make $100+ million.

Interviewer: "Why do you write these strong female characters?"
Joss Whedon: "Because you're still asking me that question." - Equality Now speech
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I was plannig to see this movie and was really excited, specially after everyone saying it was great and all.

But now I see that I have to adjust my expectations.

The only thing that suprises me is that people seem suprised that it is bad.

C'mon, it is Indiana Jones.

Thanks Sarah,  I loved reading about how much you hated it. Hmm. I wonder what that says about me...

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Who doesn't blog these days?

There are two things that ruined this movie IMHO, CGI and the Alien plot.

By now everyone should have well and truly realised that no one should let George Lucas anywhere near a movie with CGI in it - seriously, has Lucasfilm not realised that their so called special effects are light years behind what the creative geniuses at Weta are doing (see LOTR for special effects done well!). The original Indy movies were good because things were real (that's why the original Star Wars trilogy was good too, because there was no such thing as CGI)

Bad CGI aside, my girlfriend and I were enjoying the film until the whole Alien thing came up, and by the time the ending came around with the Roswell aliens and the flying saucer it was just one big yak fest. I know it was meant to be a homage to Sci-fi yadeyadah, but Indiana Jones films arent sci-fi! They're adventure films...you can't tell me George and Steve couldnt come up with another good ol' adventure plot?!

Sorry boys...I actually expect the next installment of the Mummy movies to fulfill my adventure needs better than Indy. *sob sob*

I am sorry, I can't enlighten you. The movie was bad.

The writing was bad. I knew who Mutt was even before I entered the theatre, literally, it was so obvious. The Indy movies have been over the top before, so I could accept the three waterfalls. But not the bad bad writing. The idea was good, because it is a common, let's say ancient myth. It's what people speculate about, however corny the idea may be. But with good writing I would have bought it. It was done sooo bad though. It reminded me of this stupid X-File movie ending. It left a bad taste in my mouth. And a lot of inconsistencies in the writing in general. I thought Lucas and Spielberg knew their jobs. There were a lot of good ideas that didn't work out well. I mean, here we finally have the Russians as enemies again, we have the cold war, the atomic threat, Area 51.. but it was all just lame. And did anyone notice that the skull looked like a plastic skull with aluminum foil inside?

Hold on, this was Cate Blanchett?? I didn't even recognize her. Yes, she looks bad in this movie. No fight was halfway realistic. I thought she would fall over any second. And how many bad Russian ladies can there be. Oh, and the bad accent was perfectly transformed into the German dubbing.. ugh. And here I thought that the German voice actors forgot how to do a Russian accent.

The only good thing about this movie was the one thing everybody thought would be the bad thing: Harrison Ford. He did a good job and he was not too old.

I've never seen an Indiana Jones movie before this because the others were released before I was born! So if there were any insider jokes, I didn't get them. Otherwise, I thought it was funny. I can't explain it really, other than that I thought this was great. Like most every movie, none of this is possible, but it's a great idea and they really let the audience try to enjoy that idea.

What did bother me was the ending, I thought they could've wrapped it up better than that. As for Cate Blanchett's character, I'm sure they needed a face for the villain, but her character was pretty weak. But I'm always impressed with her ability to completely look different (almost unrecognizable) in every film she does.

The first thing I noticed and like was Steve Spielberg's directing. Usually it's the directing that makes or breaks a film because the actors have to be comfortable with the director to do a decent job. Anyway, his directing was good!

I'm going to see it again when I get the chance.

In class on Thur people were talking about how exciting it was going to be to see an Indiana film after so long. Somehow the topic got from Human relations to aliens in the desert and the new Indi film and apperantly in real life there are 13 crystal skulls hidden around the world, and if we don't want the world to end in 2012 we have to find them, put them in certain areas around the world with one of them in the center and the world won't end. And yes that's 2012   3 years 7 months 5 days 4 hours and 22min ET from now. 5/26/08 7:38pm ET

Also discussed was that the Indi film had "hidden messages" to tell viewers all about this. I saw it today and there were crystal skulls, aliens, and nuclear weapons so that all means that if we don't find the crystal skulls and put them where they belong, we will all be destoyed by nuclear weapons.(unless we can find a lead refridgerator to hide in.) About the film I not picky at all but I didn't like it, you could tell that it was computer animation, and when they were anywhere it looked like a fake background.

 And you were right about her accent she'd be Russian then her British accent would come out for a line or two then it was Russian again. Hated the fight scene, way too long it was like everybody needed a good 10 min. of fighting. (Like in Pirates of the Caribbean too long) I would rather they had used the technology used in the other films or not made one at all.

Indiana Jones & the Mummies' Return [reduX-Files Edition].  I didn't mind the movie at all (even sort of enjoyed it), but I did treat it as an "I spy" entertainment game. For example, what other title character spent time in a refrigerator after wrecking a vehicle? If you guessed Veronica Mars, give yourself a cookie. Of course, my suspended belief bridge had a few cables snap when simple physics were ignored.

When we stumble upon the chamber of all those archeological goodies, all I thought was "Great.  Early caricatures of humanity brought to you by your neighborhood friendly alien invaders."

I have a big ole bruise from the film's constant "Did you catch how clever we are?" elbow nudges and jostles. High praise for continuity, Film, now keep your body parts to yourself. 

What is being overlooked here is that the film is essentially a play on the action/adventure movies of the 30s, 40s, and 50s.  The lingo referring to Communists wouldn't be so far fetched if you were watching a film from the period.  As for the "unbelievable" plot and stunts, all I can say is: It's a movie.  I'm pretty sure the laws of physics don't really apply.  The film's not for everybody, but knowing a bit of the background can help you watch the film with a more well-rounded view.  As someone who is essentially reviewing a movie, that's the sort of background you should be looking for.

I'm pretty sure this isn't the worst sequel ever *coughBabyGeniuses2cough*

I thought maybe I was nuts when I went to Rotten Tomatoes after seeing this movie. 79% fresh!!? I don't think so.

Some of my issues (with input from my girlfriend): 1) Except to show off CGI effects, what was the point of the nulear bomb scene (and has G. Bush infected everyone? Indy said, "nucular.")? 2) Did they really have to have Cate Blanchett kill the ant between her thighs? (between that and the Star Wars Sarlacc (read: vagina dendata) sucking the men into its maw in Return of the Jedi I think maybe the boys have a problem with women). 3) How did the conquistadors get that all-powerful alien head in the first place? 4) I know it's supposed to be a kind of satire or homage or something, but does that mean it doesn't have to make any sense at all? (I could go on.)

Re: Cate Blanchett--sorry, we thought she was sexy. The jumpsuit, the swordfighting? Emma Peel, anyone?

Oh Spielberg- where for art thou artistic chops?! I mean really, what the hell?!  This film was terrible- none of the charm, real life character development or humour that made his other Indy films so wonderful.  I have a hard time even believing that he directed it- he had to have let his 14 year old nephew hold the camera for a few days, maybe pen off the final drafts of the script, right?  oh. so. bad.  It couldn't even claim the naughty joy of being so bad it was good.  

The saving grace for me, was Cate looking positively dashing in every scene.  It was also fun to count how many times she lost her accent in this comic book role- (12 at last count)  

Thanks for the dose of reality, Sara.  I also went to other sites after I came home from the debacle film and saw the glowing reviews.  I was truly shocked.  Either there were mass film-critic-lobotomies being handed out left and right or someone was getting paid off.  Admittedly, the CGI was great.  But all the CGI effects in the world can't save a bad story.  It's like gilding poo and then going on and on about the shininess of the gold.  Doesn't really matter, 'cause it's still on a big ol pile of poo.    

I am holding out for Indy Jones # 5 where he reunites with his long lost daughter a Nazi hating, hard drinking, gorgeous fighter pilot with a great smile and knockout curves- but that is just me. :) 

wtf was up with the MONKEYS?! not only was the scene ridiculous in concept (shia suddenly gets a tribe of monkeys to follow him and join the battle) but so was the fake looking lighting and cgi. That part just completely took me out of the movie. There were so many cartoony moments other than that like the refrigerator shooting through the air like a cannon, him stepping out like it was no big deal, the ants, the waterfalls. the whole movie looked very "fake" and cheap to me.

i like how you called it a parody. thats exactly how it felt! it felt more like a parody than a sequel. I am totally with you Sarah, in that I don't understand why so many ppl loved this movie. This is kind of like X3 to me.

SPOILER

and i'm sorry, aliens??!! i cant believe they thought that a full on alien guy and a full on flying saucer had any place showing up, let alone be THE climactic moment in an Indy movie! very disappointed in this movie!

I rewatched Indy 1 & 2 before I went to see this one and it’s really painful to sit through the whole 90 minutes. I guess I can say that for I paid for the entertainment. I don’t really have anything constructive or interesting to say about the plot; because WTF is the only thought I had afterward. The 3 musketeer’s combination is proved long in the tooth in terms of creativity and quality. Time to retire the series, I think.

Seriously, I demand restitution.

Btw, as far as Kate Blanchette’s accent goes, one of my colleagues was a Ukrainian immigrant who speaks with a thick Ukrainian accent and I would say Kate was actually pulling it alright.

I thought this movie was awful! After 20 years and buckets of money, that lame-o half baked alien crap was the best thing they could come up with? How many times is Speilberg gonna ruin his movies with that stuff? I thought we'd seen the last of it after A.I. but apparently not.

And was it just me, or did the skull prop look like a ball of tin foil encased in plastic? That thing was like a gag bowling ball.

And what a waste of the still gorgeous Karen Allen? Someone needs to do a Marion movie...that woman kicks ass.

And I may piss off some Cate Blanchett fans, but sometimes she goes a little overboard...did anybody see Elizabeth 2? Sometimes she needs to dial it back from 11. 

" Ilene Chaiken doesn't need tools...if you know what I mean."

*spoiler alert*

FUCKIN ALIENS?

All of it!! For me it homaged the first three (tongue in cheek) while still managing to take the fans and the series seriously. I would have been really upset if they had just blantantly taken the piss.

I loved Harrison (he's awesome), I liked Shia enough that if they decide to continue the series "Mud Jones and the...whatever" I'd probably go see it, and I loved Cate in uniform, with the accent, with the black bob, welding a sword and kicking ass <sigh>...It's the first film in a while I've actually contemplated going back and watching at the cinemas, just to see it on the big screen again (i never do that).

And I totally agree with Shasta (above) about Cate's accent....she would never make the error of dropping out of accent..!!..please... 

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