Cherry Bomb: "Coming Out"

wow. first comment.

I've done all the jill bennett and bridget vlogs... don't get me wrong- they rock my world! but this is the first time I've left a comment. I had to register!!

well what I wanted to say is thanks, cherry bomb!, you're doing a fantastic job. everything you guys discuss is so relevant, delightful, and simply wonderful in general. keep vlogging!!

You're great!

Wow, you said exactly what went through my mind when I met my first girlfriend and got this extremely giddy feeling I'd never had with any male person. It was like going through a second and way more extreme - yet better - adolescence. I've never been able to really put it into words, so thanks a lot for this awesome vlog! ^_^

 

EDIT: shaz beat me to it. Never mind. Haha. XD

 

"Adele, do away with this sweaty mess." - Jenny

This show.

Super insightful, and hilarious at times too.

Can't wait till' next week.

Another funny and entertaining vlog from the Cherry Bomb crew!

I love the multicamera look, but the reverse angle on Tatum and Dalila in this vlog is confusing.  Otherwise, it looks great!

Speaking as an actual adolescent who is still coming to terms with herself, everything you guys have talked about is totally 100% true. Its really nice to hear about other peoples experiences and see how they match up with yours.

 

And Tatum...never go to Nebraska. Its like a blackhole of heterosexualsm, trust me I live there!

Ahh....that first woman who caused your brain to freeze instantly.She wasn't just any dyke or just one of many.She was everything you could have ever asked for and more and there she was talking to you and you couldn't even utter a word that made sense lol. Then you tell your freinds about it later and all you wanted to say came rushing out,only she wasn't there to hear it and now you feel like a nerdy kid again. And it's worse if you have always been the chasee and now have decided to be the chaser.Talk about awkward interaction.

Oh the woes of dating in the workplace gay or straight.My recommendation...never mix your money with your honey you could end up without both:(

Delayed lesbian adolescence...yep that's deffinetly what I've got.

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"There is homophobia in every corner and pocket of this world, but at the core ... you just love someone and want to make mixtapes for them" -Sara Quin

Excellent episode, ladies.

I'd never thought of the period post-coming-out as lesbian adolescence per se, but you're absolutely right... complete with poor dating choices, awkward conversations/social situations and sheer stupidity committed in the name of impressing a girl.

It definitely would have been nice to have figured out my sexuality before I went through all of that the first time...

Check out the hottest new up-and-coming artist, Mess F - www.messf.com

... I can't help but thinking that Tatum may have that stumbling, can't seem to get my words right, feeling like a total idiot effect on me. Great vlog :)

personal experiences into the mix. I'm glad you all gave ideas on how you'll know when a womyn likes you. That is like number one question on here. I wanted more. This is beginning to become my top favorite vblog after watching a few episodes. I am a premepted lesbian too. I like shocking people so I only will come out to certain ones.  I'm on the DL to others (b/c sometimes it's just not worth it).  Kep up the great conversations about stuff.

I've never posted a comment on here before and not to take anything away from BWB and WGN because they rock my socks but this is vast becoming my favorite blog too, i love everything they discuss and agree with the above how its nice when introducing own experiences, can't wait for next week =]

I really enjoy this episode, because I could really relate to the topics. I'm not completely out and I think about this a lot, but I still have difficulties accepting that some people will reject me or act nicely, but trash talk me behind my back. I know that I shouldn't be sensitive because someone is homophobic, but I am.

I get what you mean with delayed adolescence. I've never been in a relationship before and I feel like I'm not really developing parts of my personality because I just don't make these kinds of experiences. I'm glad that I didn't have certain experiences with boys, because I did not want to, but I'm sad that I've never kissed another woman before. I don't even know what that feels like and I feel like I should because thats something most people experience when they are teens!

http://babydyke.blogspot.com/ - my take on all things lesbian

Great podcast!

It's my first time tuning in to Cherry Bombs, and my first time commenting (yay!).

I'm from a whole different part of the world, so it's funny to see how the issues are all the same. I'm actually in a delayed delayed adolescent phase. Right in the middle of my process of coming out, I dropped into a relationship. When I dropped out of that relationship, I fell into the gay scene for the first time.

So about 3 years after coming out, I'm still just a baby dyke in the candy store. And believe me, I do have the money. But when it comes to paying, I drop all my coins and they roll below the counter (sigh).

 

It such a great moment every time to watch that vlog! As for coming out... huge subject. I had a hard time with it, and it all changed very much since less than a year actually, and AE helped me a lot through that. So thanks to all people on AE for that :)

I work in a very conservative environment too, and nobody knows at work for now. However, last time i tried to come out to the only woman who i think is quite open where i work, i think she didn't really get it... So, on the one hand, i don't feel the need to tell everyone i'm gay - because to me, i'm more than just gay, it's just a part of me, not my all identity - but on the other hand i came to a point where i actually can now tell some random people. I'm new at this, and it's amazing to see that people take it in a very good way!

Oh and I did get the "no i don't think you're gay, you just hung out with too many lesbians when you were in vacation in L.A" from a friend of mine to whom i came out 3 weeks ago! I mean, wtf? I felt like "why would I be part time gay?" The way she implied stuff really were a bit like "are you REALLY gonna be gay", meaning forever? Well duh, i'm gonna have brown eyes forever, ain't I? so how about that too?

As for feeling like a teenager again when you meet someone... oh yes, that's a great feeling :)

Because of you guys :)
It really helps me hear you talk about everything I went through.
I don't feel so alone now :)

I really enjoy watching this vlog every week, it's great to hear a discussion of issues featuring a lot of different viewpoints. Thanks for talking about coming out :)

Tatum is the most adorable thing, and her voice is beautiful.

"Can you pass the peas, I'm a dyke." Very funny, great line!

This vlog described me to a T... whenever I see an attractive female, I feel like a 14 year old boy and I turn into a fumbling mess. From their end it probably just looks like I'm socially inept and have a staring problem...

Although I only started watching AE vlogs for the humor (and hot ladies... I watch everything that Jill Bennett is in because I have an unhealthy crush on her), this vlog has me interested in a different way. The topics are great and I love to hear the girls' opinions on lesbian issues. Right now, I think I'm in the adolescent stage where I find it hard to talk to girls that I'm attracted to. I remember being in middle and high school and wondering why the heck I wasn't as into boys as my other female friends were. It's definitely weird to be feeling these things at 20 years old.

Again, thanks a bunch for another interesting episode!

Great vlog ladies!

Really enjoying watching you, looking forward to the next vlog.

I like the way you bring in your personal experience and yet still manage not to "show off". The different perspectives are also nice!

Keep up the good work. 

Oooo alot of first time posters, I think I'm an over-poster lol but I feel the need to spread the love wherever I go...

Anywho great vlogging, it's so frustrating when people tell you you're not gay, it's like um trust me I am ;) the whole comming out and feeling like an adolescent again leaves you feeling powerless but I agree with Nikki, I like that someone can make you feel like that. I am a total pre-emptive gay to randomers and am really gay inside lol but I'm not very gay around my family - the whole don't flaunt it thing sucks.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------There is too much love in this world to have to deal with hate.

I am most definitely in my lesbian adolescence. Its crazy, women have left me speechless more times than I can count. Another great episode ladies, keep up the good work!

 

 

"Power is never given back. When it's stolen, if you want it back, you have to take it." - M. Caballero

Journey2enlightenment.blogspot.com

Great vlog ladies!! I just love to hear about other experiecies!

Continue doing vlogs like these!

Kisses! 

 

 

love it!

 

I love this vlog. Thanks, keep it coming =)

 

~The world begins and ends with the person next to the godless stars below the hay of stones which waz totally hot~

I went through that second adolesence thing, but thank god i was still in highschool and figured it all out before i got the college. But now I am dating women who are going through all that and I feel old. I just seem more mature then girls comming out in their 20's. But pretty girls still make me all giggly lol..

Great vlog, loving the topics and actual conversation about real experiences. AWESOME!

Thanks for the great vlog! This is quickly rising in my list of priorities to watch. "Democracy is measured by the freedom it gives its dissidents not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists."

The 2nd adolescence thing makes so much sense. I hate that stupid giddy feeling I get when I'm around a girl I think is cute. I start focusing on my walking and I end up doing something clumsy or awkward. I can't wait till my 2nd adulthood.

BTW, does West Hollywood have a big gay scene? Dalila mentioned it a couple of times in this vlog. Thanx.

 

Lesbian adolescence. Most definately what I am going through. Although I'm almost 20, I really only admitted to myself I was a lesbian when I was 17, and still am not out to everyone yet (which I think about very often). It's taken me quite awhile to just come to terms with myself, not really in a "i don't want to be gay" way but just in a "i need to really figure out who i am" kind of way. Having a better handle on who I am now, I feel ready to start dating, etc. but it's hard. Girls I like leave me tongue tied and smiling like an idiot, lol. It leaves me sad a lot of the time though because so many of my straight friends experienced all of this during middle/high school. Their first kiss, their first relationship. When they talk about their boyfriend, how happy they are, I am happy for them, but there is a part of me that feels left behind and a little upset that I haven't been able to experience that first relationship yet, or even that first kiss, lol. But, everything in due time I suppose :)

Great vlog! It has definately become one of my favs!

It was great timing!

I am still undecided about if should publicly coming out or not, and I am frustrated with why it is necessary?  It is not like I have to bust out to closet and tell my friend guess what did you know I am Black.

I'm not the groupie/fanatic type but I really like this vlog. All four ladies are fabulous, interesting, entertaining and fun to watch. I actually made my way over to the cherry bomb myspace page and found out some interesting things about three out of four of you all.

1) Dark-skinned black lesbians at Spelman College? That must have been quite the experience.

2) Gloria's an AKA? whoa. heavy.

3) Gloria is a very funny woman. Seriously, who IS walking the black kids?

4) Seems as if Dalila and Tatum have been friends/colleagues for a while.

Question: Are these episodes filmed in L.A.?

Agrees with everyone before me. Loved the topics and cant wait to see the next videos. This vlog is easily becoming my favorite vlog, J

 

waiting on the world to change

I came out when I was about 17, so I think my adolescence was more extended rather than delayed. I totally got giddy around girls I thought were pretty in junior high, well before I knew I was gay...I just didn't know what it was. When I didn't get all boy crazy in my early teens, people just said I was a late bloomer. LOL I just kept sayin' I don't get it. But when I did get it, that it was girl crazy phase instead, it was a relief.

Coming out in my late teens, there were a lot of straight girls that I think simply hadn't considered it until they found out I was gay. Like all the sudden they're interested in "experimenting", and in my young stupidity I couldn't tell the difference between a girl coming out and a girl experimenting. Damn did that mess me up. 'Cause for whatever reason, I couldn't turn the head of a lesbian...but I could a straight girl.

And what about the tact of turning down a straight girl? There was one girl that kept pressing me with "Do you think I'm attractive?" I mean, how do you answer that in a way that's not insulting? At first I was just "Well, you're not my type because I like girls that are actually attracted to girls." And then she went with "What if I was gay?" And the truth was, that although she was physically hot, her personality just wasn't my type.

So now my method is, if a straight girl asks me if I think she's attractive. I say "What do you think?" and however she replies, just say "Well, there ya go."

I loved hearing your stories about when and how you come out to people.

In the last few years I have changed from someone who would only came out if I absolutely had to, to someone who makes it clear the first chance it comes up.

I feel so much better when I come out, because not saying anything is just too exhausting.

Then again, I do get tired sometimes of having to come out over and over again.  

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-Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

Who doesn't blog these days?

 

like cherry bomb! Kudos to all the lovely ladies doing the vlog. This episode was especially interesting for me. It made me remember some things. I'm mostly outed and it's not a big deal - anymore - for me to say it to someone who might be speculating about it.

What I just didn't like was one thing a then-friend did a few years back. She was straight and I met up with her and some other hetero friends of her, who I did not know before that occasion. After a while the topic of love and relationships and stuff came up and these friends of her suddenly talked to me about that using terms like "people like you" with me. Like asking how and where "we" meet other girls like "us" and so on...

I was kind of annoyed because I didn't know that guy at all, and he asked me personal stuff out of the blue and he seemed to know about my "gayness" from my friend obviously. I dunno, it was a stupid situation and back then I just wished my friend wouldn't have outed to me a random person I don't know or I wished she would have at least told me that before I met them...anyway, it's not important anymore. I would handle that totally different today. Thank god.

Lovely vlog and I just have to let one more thing out: Tatum is cute! :)

 

 

This Vlog is so polished.  I would almost believe it had been on the internet for years.  Great job girls.  Keep up the good work.

Tristen

LGBT ITEMS     http://www.zazzle.com/tristen12

 

This vlog is amazing. The way you talk about these issues that is very easy to relate to, makes this show so much fun and interessting to watch. Especially in this episode, the things that were discussed, was issues that I can relate to indeed. What Tatum said about coming out to someone, and then have them reject it, or protest on the fact that you're gay. It has happened to me several times when I've been out with friends, and a guy approached me- and I've told him that I am gay. Then the guy have said somehting like "no, you're not gay, you are really femenine. Or, "you are too cute to be gay"(!) These utterances really bothers me. You finally feel comfortable enough about your sexuality to come out, and then, it gets denied! I can also really relate to how I could never quite understand my friends attraction and excitement around guys during adolecense. I just never had that feeling towards a guy. Then, in my early 20s, I kind of figured that maybe, I wasn't hetrosexual, just because that is was society makes you beleive that you are, or at least teach you that you should be. Well, that is how I am brought up anyway. So for me, even now, it's really hard to accept myself. I can feel that it is Ok to be gay for other people, and I have friends that are gay. But, when it comes to myself, I can't seem to make my mind, and my feelings feel the same way. My mind is telling me that I should be Ok about being gay, and that it's nothing wrong with it. But my heart, has a hard time accepting it. Anyways, enough about that! I just want to say in closing that AfterEllen is really helping me towards accepting myself for who I am. To see wonderful and strong woman stand up for themselves and show that they are gay and that they are 110% Ok with that, makes me come around.. slowly, but I'm getting there. So thank you, Sarah Warn, and everyone on AfterEllen for doing this! I am sure you are helping many others who are feeling the same way. Thank you!

spoken girls..  nice to meet y'all at pride :)

Thanks ladies for relating your experiences. Keep up the great work! And like someone commented earlier, the vlog does have a nice polished look.

AE helps me keep my sanity. 

 

ps: Tatum I'd totally like to see you eating a bean burrito with the just showered look :-)

you girls are absolutely amazing.

It's nice to see these kinds of topics covered intelligently by beautiful ladies.

;]

that's just a bonus.

 

I kinda have the same thing where I feel like I have to come out to people just cuz I don't want to be deceiving. But when I tell people who have become somewhat like close friends to me, even those straight who have had experiences with women, they all don't believe that I am. The general consensus is that I shouldn't "knock it before I try it," referring to the p*nis. I think it's quite funny what then again, what should I expect when I'm the only odd-ball among the straights? Thing is though I now feel that telling them isn't enough but rather I have to prove to them how gay I am.

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