Alice: "Shane's pussy is this wide." *spreads hands apart*

Was that too cruel? ^_^ or would Alice even say that? Maybe I'm just perverted today xD

Alice... "OMG, you guys, I'm serious... It was THIS BIG [gestures with hands]. I took Tasha to the 'Phat Toy Store' over on East 47th and there was a woman buying this giant dildo..."

Shane... "but where would you store something that big.. It's not like you can just put it in your night table..."

Alic.. "no kidding... leave something like that hanging out of your drawer and people might think you have a nude mouse infestation - they look like penises with legs."

Shane.. "i'm not sure which is worse..."

Alice : "Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, Domo... Domo..."

Shane : "Somebody shoot me, NOW!"

---------------------------------------------------------------

Alice: "Touchdown!"

Shane: "I can't believe you won our football pool again!"

---------------------------------------------------------------

Shane : "Alice, please stop talking about the time you went fishing."

---------------------------------------------------------------

Alice : " It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a!"

Shane : "Alice, only gay men and straight girls sing that song, you are neither."

---------------------------------------------------------------

TINA (OFF SCREEN): OK, who farted?

 
------------------------------------------

SHANE: Hey, where did Papi go?

Alice :: What the fuck was up with season three?

Shane :: I'm over it.

http://onefootinonefootout.blogspot.com/

Alice: Really, I don't know if Tina and Bette get back together this season!

Alice: No, you guys, seriously. Jenny has kiled 10 puppies. Not even kidding.

Shane: I don't buy it.

Shane: Does anyone know why Moira/Max is still here?

Alice: Maybe she's in the transsexual relocation program.

Alice: And so yea, that was the second time she got crabs.

Shane: Hmm, I actually haven't slept with her... 

Alice: Consistency? Who needs that?

Shane: Besides us?

Alice just seems so self-satisfied there.

“…And that’s how the Lesbians saved Christmas.”

Accompanied by throwing one’s hands up in the air to reiterate that the story is over.

["Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me: I quit.' "]

Shane: I don't want to play paper football with you.

Alice: Come on, it's fun. I'll let you hit me in the boobs.

SHANE (thinking): God I wish I had a sandwich that big... 

Who you gonna be if you can't be yourself,
you can't get it from t.v., you can't force it on
anybody else.-- Ani Difranco

Alice: "so, it was about this big, and i freaked"

Shane: "don't tell me she's going back to being bi again"

Alice: The terrible three have said they will vlog our fifth season and I said "Well, let's go!"

Shane (thinking): Hmmm, the terrible three...Make me a package, I take them home!

Shane: I just want Carmen back...

Alice: Don't say that. I said that about Dana once, and come season 4, it was like *clap on* Dana's on the show. *clap off* She's off the show...again.

Alice: Oh man! You guys, i never thought a tupperware party could be this fun!

Shane: That's just the alcohol talking.

alice (to girl off-screen): Great. You had to go and take your top off. Now Shane's latest romance will end in a flurry of girl-fights and tears.

watmwithlove.com, watchingshowtime.com

Alice: omg, i think i just saw Jill Bennett, *raises hands in amazement*

Shane:(still half asleep), huh?

Alice: Yep, it's true....I love Yoplait...this much.

Shane: (thinking) Why did I mess it up with Carmen....Why, Why, Why? I'm an idiot! 

www.myspace.com/blasianbeatnik02

Sorry, but the comment about BETTY and Ilene sacking Erin - that's hands down the best .... EVER.

Alice: They had a 6 inch, and a 1 footer, but cos people kept screwing up in ordering Subway they now have a 6 footer.. but it's only this big...

Shane: I could use a strap on that big.

Alice: I felt so cheated.

Shane: me too. they only had a miserable 1 footer left after the big toy sale

Alice: "I'm telling you, I'm the next closest thing to a goddess. I mean, hello? Hot 100 on Afterellen.com? Heard of it? Yeah, that's me, I'm number one. That's ok, you don't have to bow..."

Shane: (thinking) "Here we go again... sigh. I need a beer"

Alice: "...no, I'm serious. Check it out! I'm, like, the holy grail..."

Alice: Ooohh... i always wanted one of those monkeys...you know...with the cymbals...like in that film we saw the other day... [sings badly] "masquerade.....masquerade....nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh sha-a-ade"

Shane: [thinks] Right. I dont care how cute Emmy Rossum is. That is the LAST time im letting Alice pick the DVD. Phantom of the fucking Opera? Jeez was i high?

~I've been watching your world from afar, I've been trying to be where you are, I've been secretly falling apart...~

haha al the captions people are putting are hilarious .. i love it =)

*~*Lyndsey*~*

Alice: and THIS is how big Shane's commitment issues are.

Shane: Alice, I wish you'd stop doing that. Especially when my date is present...

Helena (offscreen): So what do you guys think? Will Tina and Bette get back together?

Alice: I really don't know.

Shane (thinking): Not this again..

Jenny (off-screen): So do you guys think I'll ever be able to find a woman who loves me for who I really am, crazy stalkerish dog-killing tendencies and all?

 Alice: Sure, why not!?

Alice and Shane (internally): Oh for the love of god don't look at me!  

 My constant internal facial expression...and yes, I work in retail.