It works! Thank you, tech types!

(Sadly I have no brilliant or terrible stories to tell because I'm mediocre all-round.)

Easy.

With a boy.

Just so no one tries to claim my card back, let me just say, in my defence, I was not old enough to say no to a dinner at McDonald's followed by a movie with Michelle Pfeiffer in a leather jacket thank you very much.

Clearly, I have evolved since my little mishap at the age of 12.

On the first date with my first gf we went out for dinner. When after dinner I wanted to get up to leave, I somehow managed to throw over the entire table including a burning candle...

doing fine here. (Woohoo!) Thank you :D

To show my appreciation, here is my best-date story: on the second date with my current girlfriend, we went to a violin concert in the city's opera house. We were in Vietnam so public display of affection is a rare thing, let alone public display of affection by same-sex couples. My parents were there too, and of course did not know that we were dating. This may sound strange but we were being as sneaky as thieves. So, in an effort to hold each other's hands, we folded arms and reached out to each other with the arms/ hands that lied beneath, since they would be hidden from the sight of everyone else. And we kissed every time the light went off after a performance. It was intensely stressful (due to the fear of being "caught") but the sweetness of it makes it my best date so far :D

Err.. pardon my wordiness.

PS: What amazingly effortless hilarity. Michelle gets funnier every time!

PS 2: 1 vote for dramatic reading involving props and costumes. Maybe reenactments too :P

***

"I'm so sorry for the things that they've done
I'm so sorry about what we've all become."
[Editors - Well worn hands]

didn't love her.  I was 25, and had newly come out that I was bisexual.  My close friend Jen.  She invited me on this beach trip with her friends in the Outerbanks, NC.  So I guess you could say it was a first and second date.  It's more of a story tho.  I had only met her once, and it was before I had come out so now it would be very intense, because we weren't dating, but we knew there was a general liking.  Jen has an online journal, so I would check on it everyday, and noticed there was a guy named "Mark" that started showing an interest in her.  Mark(one of her close friends older brother) was 29 or 30 years older, and apparently had become enamored with Jen.  Some points he would not let up, and made it perfectly clear.  I had never met the man, till I made the trip to MD, to meet up with everyone, a day before the trip.  We went to Matt's house(her close friend) and low and behold, there he was.  I got to meet him and he was a handful for everyone.  He was an alcoholic, not only that, but he would go after her every chance he got.  I was new to the group so I would stand back and observe, and had to keep myself from decking him right there. 

He was constantly grabbing her and making sexual comments.  That was pretty bad.  When we were actually leaving for the trip, Jen and I had to ride with him.  She was very hesistant with him many times, and seemed bothered by his remarks.  I had to sit there and watch the whole thing.  As we got to the beach house, and the days went by, he would usually isolates himself from the group so he would sulk by himself and a bottle of whiskey.  He'd drink the whole bottle.  One night he got particularly wasted, and he upset Jen.  She told him, "That she didn't love him.. and she would not forgive him because he ruined everything.." meaning, that this whole trip was to get closer to me, and he may have ruined it.  She ran off towards the beach, and left him standing there very hurt.  I just kind of stared at everyone because at that point, what was I going to say?  She wasn't mine yet.  We weren't a couple.  If we were, then something would click in me. 

Well he got up and was starting to make his way after her, and at that moment, the so called *Click* happened.  He was not going to touch her, he was not going near her.  I walked ahead of him and made a dead stop right in front of him.  I put both my arms out and extended them to keep him from going anywhere.  "I'm sorry, I can't let you go after her.. your going to have go through me first.."  There was dead silence for a couple of minutes.  I was determained that I wouldn't let him hurt her or come near her anymore.  At a turn of unexpected events, he started to cry, held his head, and sat down on the ground.  "I'm sorry.. " and he sat there, and I was surprised.. why was he apologizing and crying!?  I wanted to hate him! He wasn't allowed to do that whole "I'm sorry" thing.  Well, after a little talking, he admitted he has issues with alcohol(No duh), and that he truly loved Jen, because she was smart, funny, and beautiful.. " and I kind of tried to explain to him that was he's been doing is wrong.  Then he goes, "I really respect you.. no one ever tells me truth.. you did, Thank you so much.." as we were talking Jen was coming back around and I'm sure she was like "WTF!?" it's over or something, but when she got closer, she apologized for what happened.  I told her, "It didn't ruin anything.."  that night on the beach, we walked in the dark, and confessed our feelings.  She said "I love you.." and me, being the dumbass that I am, cannot express myself very well, I walked with my head down speechless for probably a good 5 min's leaving her in suspense.  I then say to her, "Um.. you remember when I told you that I didn't know if with you it was love or infatuation?" and she goes, "Yea???" and I go, "Well take out the infatuation.."

This is where any retard could have screamed, "It means you love eachother idiots!" and I wouldn't have minded lol.  That's our story, some good, some bad.

"No one in this world is a virgin, the world screws us all!"

I don't know if this qualifies as a dating story, but my gf and I have been together for almost two and a half years - and never been on a date. at least not together. sometimes we make an effort to do something date-like, but we can never come up with anything less generic than going out for dinner and a movie. We do do that, it just never feels like a proper "date" like you native English-speakers go on. We definitely need help on "How to properly date your girlfriend" :)

So... HELP!

I had lusted after girl on match.com for months. She finally joined for the free three day window, so I paid to join for a month. We sent some e-mails back and forth and talked on the phone a couple times. I have a thing about voices and hers was awful - thick New Jersey. I couldn't actually believe that the face on the website could have that awful a voice. But I was blinded by her beauty, so I agreed to go out dancing one night. That afternoon she called and asked if I wouldn't mind going to a baseball game with her and a few of her friends. I wasn't thrilled by the idea of a group date as a first date, but I figured what the hell, it might actually be nice to meet a whole group of people. Well, I get to this girl's house which turns out to be an hour from mine (the stadium would have only been a half hour drive) and she lets me in. She looks nothing like her pictures - she's still gorgeous, but you know, where's the truth in advertising? I expected a blonde femme. Her head is shaved, she's wearing madras shorts and a wife beater. She looks like a 14 year old boy. And I actually feel slightly pedophiliac desiring this soft butch. She says: "my friends are going to pick us up, so we won't have to take the subway. They're a lot of fun - really rowdy." And I think to myself, "rowdy? I go to museum school."

Her friend and the friend's fiancee come pick us up. And I discover 5 minutes into the car ride, by which time I have no idea where the hell we are in Philly, that the fiancee smoked up right before he came to pick us up. We get to the stadium parking lot and my date's friends start chugging miller lite (which is clearly the only way to make it palatable). Then they spot a man walking around the parking lot with these giant balloons and the man is shouting 1 for 5, 1 for 5. For a ballon? They call him over and broker a deal - 2 for 8. So they start sucking on these balloons and I expect Alvin and the Chipmunk voices, but instead they just start giggling - they're sucking nitrous. I start drinking because clearly, it's the only way to deal with this situation. We finally go into the game and by this time it is readily apparent that the girl and I have nothing in common. The game wasn't even any good because there was a rain delay. So we leave and her friends are still sort of drunk and high. I asked the chippie to take a subway and I even offered to pay for a cab. She said no, it would be fine. Well, I didn't know how to get back to her house myself, so I agree to get in the car. I don't pray, but I definitely asked the universe for this not to be my night to die. Then the fiancee had to pee while we were driving home and he jumped out of the car and jumped over a concrete barrier and peed on an electrical box in some bushes. We start moving and he has to chase the car down - luckily it was bumper to bumper traffic so we weren't moving that fast. My date asks her friends what they're doing next and they say "Ah we'll probably cut over to Mike's to do some lines [of cocaine] it's been awhile."

It was a nightmare. But, and I'm not proud to admit this, if she had put the moves on me when we got back to her house, I would have made out with her because she was gorgeous. . . still, when she left a message the following Monday to ask if I wanted to hang out, I never called back.

This is just one of my bad date date stories. . . I have many. . . I could write a book or a blog or really have my own one woman show. . .

 I had only been out to my family for a matter of months at the time and still being in college I was living at home. I had been seeing this girl for only a couple of weeks and she came over with some wine to watch the L Word while I babysat my little sister.

My cousin came home (pretty far gone after a night of partying) and he sat down with us. Apparently he thought we were just really close friends who like to cuddle up and watch lesbian TV shows because he spent the whole night trying to pick her up. As soon as i got up to check on my sister I heard him ask her to go out with him and I couldn't help from laughing...guys are just so oblivious to things sometimes. Her reaction was priceless (especially after he had been calling her "shorty" all night) and i never heard the end of it.....but

In true lesbian fashion she is still my best friend today ...and in true male mode, he still hits on her every chance he gets,  regardless...

Worst Date Ever:   A guy (we call him Captain America still) I met in one of my courses in college had been dropping hints that he wanted to get to know me better and wanted to go out sometime (confusing time not out of the closet days).  I thought he was really annoying but one night he showed up a my job with flowers.  First of all I don't remember ever telling him where I worked, so that creeped me out a bit.  But we got to talking and he convinced me to go on a date with him.  Ha, big mistake.  Cpt. America was driving down the Interstate around 90-100 MPH, swerving in and out of traffic, while he was STARING at me.  I kid you not.  I was crunched up on the side of the car hanging on to the "oh shit" bar freaking out and he was laughing.  We had dinner and then he decided to go his place (nothing happened outside of kissing) but I was forever creeped out by him.  He then wouldn't get the hint I didn't want to see him again.  My friends and I still joke about that incident, most of my guy friends wanted to kick his butt.

Best Date:  My now-wife took me to see Sheryl Crow at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta for my birthday.  We had 4th row center seats, it was amazing, I can't describe it.  It was an unbelievable night and best date/birthday ever.  She knew it would mean the world to me to see my favorite artist and I'll never forget it.

"Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from."

Sadly, I can't watch Exes & Ohs because I live in Iceland and the iTunes store isn't available here. Probably won't be any time soon (tiny market).

But I watch your video blog anyway, it's too good to miss.

My worst date ever (not that you can really call this a date) happened in college the evening before we left for summer break. I got a little “over served” at a party and went off to frolic in the bushes with a very nice girl. All went well until I got home a couple of days later and discovered that I had a terrible, blistery rash all over my lower back. I thought I was going to die! One week later I received a letter from “the girl in the bushes” and she told me she had a rash all over the front of her chest and stomach…  Note to all the women out there: Don’t frolic in the bushes until you’ve checked for poison ivy—and all other forms of poisonous foliage!  

To make matters worse, I was in a restaurant by myself when I opened her letter describing her frontal affliction and I start laughing so hard tears were pouring down my face. Not only was I really itchy, but everyone in the restaurant probably thought I was insane!

All the stories are thoroughly entertaining. Shout out to the Fox Theatre. It's gorgeous.

Best date (if you can call it that):
I'd been dating this girl, Jordan, for about eight months when her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She moved back to Boston (I'm in Atlanta) to take care of her mother that November. Phone calls, emails, messages, etc and that's it. We couldn't cooridinate visiting with our own busy lives. Little bit of back story: my mother died February 13th, 2003. Every Feb 13th since then, my world literally crashes for 24 hours. It just does. Well, the 10th rolls around and I'm already starting to sound bummed and she's trying to cheer me up on the phone with telling me how well her own mother is doing (mine died from breast cancer). It was decently positive and made me smile, but it was only the 10th.

So the 13th rolls around and I'm at work, trying to just make it through the day. My email dings with a new message from her. It says to look to my right, past the columns and into the lobby. So I do. And she's sitting in my lobby on her laptop, I smile and just then, another ding rings out with another email. I turn and it's from her. It says, "Come here, gorgeous. I'm only here for lunch."

I rushed into the lobby where she pulled me into an adjacent conference room (empty). We hooked up and then sat around, talking and laughing for my lunch break. When my hour was up, I kissed her and went back to work. And she... well she flew back to Boston. The worst day of the year for me and she made it okay.

Date or not, that's my best story. And she was my best girl. ;)

 My worst stories involve the dates pre-coming out. So nothing interesting there.

Best Date:  I had a third date with a girl that consisted of me cooking and preparing a romantic dinner at my place.  But because I stilled lived, and still continue to live, like a college student and only collected paper everything, I went out that same day to Pier 1 and Target to buy dishes and other appropriate utensils for a nice dinner.  And for some reason, I only bought everything in sets of two.   I prepared a nice pasta meal with some Melnik 13.  We had nice music and pretty flowers; overall a great evening.  We then stopped seeing each other like a month later.  She got a good time out of it, but I got nice dishes. 

Worst Date:  Well because I wasn’t always romantic and ready to settle, my worst date story doesn’t really show the best side of me.  While I was in college, I dated a girl who was such a drama queen and very high maintenance.  She had the jealous bug.  We went to a party one night and after several drinks she went on her rant about how she didn’t trust me.  I was sitting down talking to a girl who I had for a geology class, so obviously conversing about rocks didn’t sit well with my girlfriend.  And because I was annoyed and already embarrassed by her behavior, I pretty much left the party with the other girl.  But the lesbian gods didn’t seem too pleased with my behavior either, so when girl and I headed back to my place and after I WARNED her TWICE about my rebel without a cause cat, she left the door open and out he ran.  We spent the rest of the night searching for him throughout my apartment complex.  He came back two days later; she never came over again. 

Agreed

Worst date…I thought of many options, but the worst hook-up is what I’ll share. 

I was living in a small town while attending Law School, aka, Torture School.  Seeing how it was a small town we had one local gay club and pretty much everyone had dated everyone else.  Seeing how I’m me, I refused to partake in any of the wildness for quite a while. 

However, skip to my third year and the perfect night, Halloween night (or some where around Halloween because the local gay club was having its annual “Get your butt dressed in costume night.”). 

It started simply enough, I actually hadn’t been in the mood to go out that night but my current crush was going and was dressed like Pat Benatar.  Okay, as we all know, it’s not polite to get that “hot” and parade yourself around a lesbian who had given up the prospect of even dating.  Well seeing her dressed that way obviously convinced me it was time to act up.   I raced home, put on a black button up shirt and a black cowboy hat just to compliment her outfit.  I called a friend to go with me, because as everyone knows you always need a witness to self-induced debauchery, and to the club we went.   

I went in and made the ever horrible mistake of showing up with said friend so that put a damper on Pat Benatar, who proceeded to spend the next hour ignoring me.  Well, with a little help from my friend alcohol I started talking to another girl (we will call her PP) about my lust for the Pat Benatar look-alike.  The first time I was just passing by PP as she was looking at me and I stated, “Oh great, we are playing fifth grade now, apparently we are ignoring each other.” 

She chuckled and that was all I needed…For the rest of the night I’d pass by her and make the same kind of delightful comments.  At some point PP, after I made one of my comments said “Let’s dance.”  So we did, and before I knew it, I was making out with PP. 

Well my gay guy friends and friend were wildly excited because they had finally gotten to see me acting like a “gay man,” their term, not mine.  The night wore on, more making out ensued and eventually the club closed.  So what else to do…a party of course! 

So PP and I get in her car to go to some party.  Now the kicker is, neither of us have any idea where this party is.  So we end up going to different friend’s houses to see if they know where it’s at, apparently, they didn’t either.  We of course didn’t let that dampen our spirits, we’d make out wildly upon returning to the car and then proceed to the next stop in our endless search for the party.  Now I should note here, that while making out with her she kept saying to me, “You’re not gay.”  Now, I’m not one to put a damper on the evening, or point out the logic, that in fact in making out with her I'm at least tipping the scales at being gay.  Nor did I list out my ex-gf's, another big old indicator that I'm gay.  No, I just let those comments go and rolled my eyes…there was making out to do, it’s not time to analyze. 

Well eventually we were driving down one residential street when she announces she needs to use the restroom.  Now seeing how we are females my brain immediately starts thinking of gas stations that are open, restaurants, friends’ houses we could make a pit-stop at.  Well PP had another idea. 

After she makes the announcement she pulls up to a stop sign.  Comes to a stop as to be expected, but then she does the unexpected.  She actually turns the car off, hops out the driver’s side, leaves the door open and goes…yes, I mean she went to the bathroom, hence her name PP. 

I’m sitting there in horror…I’m thinking about the police rolling up, a wild animal biting her while she’s taking care of business, and telling my friends about this. 

After she’s done, she hops back in as if she just didn’t do what she just did, then she has the nerve to ask, “So, do you want to go to your place or mine?” 

I opted for my car…as I was getting out of her car she asked if I’d like to do it again some time…obviously I declined.  The sad thing is, every one thought I had this wild, hot night...and when I finally told them the story they were hysterical and secretly starting referring to the girl as the "Pee'r." 

It was a blind date that I should have never accepted but it had been a dry year, so I was desperate.  We met at a really nice restaurant in Orange County and I think we both liked what we initially saw and I had a sense that it was ok that I broke my blind date rule.  Dinner went well and we found many things to talk about.  However, as the dinner went on she became increasingly belligerent and appeared drunk.  It was a small intimate restaurant where a large wedding party was celebrating what looked like a rehearsal dinner, or at least they were trying to.  What was odd was that I had only seen her drink 2 glasses of wine but when coming back from the restroom she was fall down drunk (literally fell down).  She knocked over a waiter and took out some nice china.  I suggested at that point that I call her a cab and that she loose my number.  Cab was called and I got in my vehicle to high tail it out of there when she jumped in front of my moving truck and threw her self on the hood.  She threatened to kill herself if I did not take her home.  Well, what’s a girl supposed to say to that?  As soon as she got into my truck she passed out cold and I was unable to wake her.  Since I had no idea where she lived and her address was no where on her person to be found I was in a pickle.  I did not want her to know where I lived so there was no way I was going to take her to my place.  I ended up driving around for countless hours in the general area she had described living earlier in the evening.  Just as the sun was coming up she came out of her coma long enough to give me directions.  I found her house but then she refused to get out of the truck.   Only if I were to promise to come inside with her would she exit the vehicle.  Having little patience left I got out and started to walk her to the door when by luck she tripped over a sprinkler on the front lawn.  Once she was down I took off running like Marion Jones only to look back once to see her chasing me.  Definitely, worst date ever!

I'm enjoying this - AE as group therapy.

Sadly, I suspect that I am in fact the worst date - worst ex story of several dozen people ....

As for mine - worst date was with a boy. Odd, given that I announced my gayness when I was five and pretty much lived my life accordingly from there on in. But...I was young(ish), he was the big catch on campus, smart, funny, good looking, and (oddly) really into me. So I figured what the hey, and gave it a go. We made it to the third date without any problem and then we went back to his place (actually, his parents' place - we were that young) and just as we started to get a bit hot and heavy ... I  threw up.

Apparently I got a mention a his wedding (don't ask me...) and he describes me as his favourite ex. Clearly he didn't get the memo.

Another worst date (oh, I have many) was one I didn't know I was on. We met through a friend at a party, she was new in town, I thought I was being friendly agreeing to meet for dinner and show her the neighbourhood, apparently she thought we were moving in together. Before entrees arrived, she wanted to know about my religious beliefs, by mains she wanted to know about kids, by desert she was telling me how much she hated her sister, and by the time the bill arrived I was hailing her a cab. The next day she emailed an invitation to her and her flatmate's housewarming. I didn't reply and didn't go. About a year later, we bumped into each other and she was really hostile and wanted to know why I didn't come to the party - apparently I was her only guest.

Maybe if I'd thrown up on HER...

God I hope she doesn't read this site!

Not Only But Also

I've even tried using a friend's US address to fool itunes US into letting me register but when it comes to downloading, it still detects my UK IP. Plus, if I don't have them on a US card, itunes US doesn't want to take my money. Of course itunes UK doesn't have the show for download. I mean, why would they be up to date?? In short I can't buy anything from itunes US. I can buy from amazon US, ebay US, but not itunes.

Nuff with the rant. Brilliant idea, this sharing of stories.

oh and a question for Michelle: if you had the money, could you make Exes & Ohs bigger than L Word? Do you have the material (the stories, the plots) there in your creative mind? Because it would be a first, L word didn't cover a lot of lesbian ground

Best date(?): well i'm not sure we can call it a date, but it's one of my best memories and it's about how i started dating one of my exes. She lived 300kms from me, and she was moving to London (we lived in Portugal at the time) to take a three years college degree the next morning, and so i drove with a friend to her town, the three of us had dinner and then my friend drove back without me. The best part was that we spent the rest of the evening walking by the seaside and eventually ended up making love at the beach in from of her parent's place.

Worst ex: she wasn't that bad - i dated her - but she was very very jealous, and without any reason what so ever. Once she had a dream where i had a daughter with my ex-girlfriend - YES! a biological, somehow, daughter - and we shared custody. It was my weekend with our daughter and I went by her place to pick her up. And she was pissed off because that was something i shared with my ex and no one else could come between that. Keep in mind this was her dream!  The worst part was that the next morning she was pissed off with me because of her dream and there was nothing i could do to make her feel any better. IT WAS A (weird) DREAM, for god sake!

OK So this really isn't by best or worst date, its more the most random date I've ever been on... Let's make bulleted points shall we:

• Met girl online an chatted for 2 weeks
• We were going to bowl... bowling alley was closed
• Went to Ihop
• Went to Coldstone for Icecream and sat in my car a talked
• Went to a hookah bar.. that was closed too
• I have to pee really bad and ended up in one of the nastiest 7-11 bathrooms in VA
• Had nothing to do so she suggested riding cows... I agreed (I'm young, stupid things seem like great ideas)
• Drove around aimlessly for half an hour looking for said cows and couldn't find any
• She suggested we find swings st a playground... again I agreed
• Found a playground (unfortunately there were no swings)
• Went back to her place grabbed some beer and her dog and went to a playground with swings.
• Then the cops came (apparently your not allowed to to be in parks after dark.. who knew?)
• Due to the fact that I had just consumed on beer and had one not so dicreetly hidden in my jacket and I was underage for drinking... I was nervous.
• Luckily I was able to hid the beer and get off with a waring
• We ended up watching some comedy DVD with her brother and three dogs at her place until 2 AM
• So it wasn't a bad date it was just randoma s hell, but I have a good time, i guess that's all that counts

well, it's not really a rule. but i've noticed this trend or w/e within my friend group. and after talking about it to my friends at college, i found very similar stories.

so, after i came out, i was the token gay girl in my friend circle. one by one the majority of the other girls came out as bisexual. now we have a token gay girl, a few straight girls, and a crap load of bisexuals. i never ever would've guessed any of them would be anything but straight either.

my "rule" basically is, growing up in the closet, you attract more non-straight friends than what would seem by chance. you're drawn to each other from the start.

well, it's not really a rule. but i've noticed this trend or w/e within my friend group. and after talking about it to my friends at college, i found very similar stories.

so, after i came out, i was the token gay girl in my friend circle. one by one the majority of the other girls came out as bisexual. now we have a token gay girl, a few straight girls, and a crap load of bisexuals. i never ever would've guessed any of them would be anything but straight either.

my "rule" basically is, growing up in the closet, you attract more non-straight friends than what would seem by chance. you're drawn to each other from the start.